//------------------------------// // Happily Hijacking Hegemony // Story: Moments in Time // by Shingo //------------------------------// Surrender, you’ll be happier that way. And be prepared for a visit. -The Smiling Mare * “Your Highness,” one of the Royal Guards said. “This mare is not to be taken lightly.” Celestia was sitting in one of the meeting rooms of Canterlot Castle. Around her were government workers, members of the aristocracy, and soldiers working in the Royal Guard. Over the past month and a half, many cities and settlements had renounced Equestian rule. They all had chosen another leader to follow, a leader who claimed to be able to bring happiness to every citizen. All of the reports involving these settlements mentioned a single pony known only as The Smiling Mare. She and her steadily growing army were visiting settlements around the country and bringing them under her control. On top of the loss of Equestian soil, three of the Elements of Harmony had been stolen. A piece of parchment was floating in front of Celestia as the meeting proceeded. “Ha!” Blueblood said. “This is just one crazy mare. All we have to do is take her down, and everything will return to normal.” “Don’t be so sure,” a bureaucrat said. “According to the reports, all of the settlements willingly let her take control. Even if we take The Smiling Mare down, the areas under her control will refuse to rejoin us.” “What has this mare promised?” Celestia asked. “If they joined her cause willingly, she must have said something other than her ambiguous promise of happiness.” “That’s it,” the guard said. “All she promised them was happiness. We’re still trying to gather information on…” A loud distorted noise interrupted his speech. The door to the meeting room burst open and a unicorn guard was thrown into the room. Standing at the door way was a white unicorn mare with an electric blue mane and tail. She had purple shades over her eyes as well as a bright pink admiral’s hat on her head. A military jacket that matched her hat in colour was securely fastened over her body. Floating beside her were two speakers covered in a blue aura. The mare had a manic grin on her face. “Who dares to interrupt our meeting?!” Blueblood screamed. “I think we have more important things to worry about, nephew,” Celestia placed her parchment down. “This must be the visit you spoke of.” “It is,” a cheery voice beside the white unicorn said. “But that was me who sent the message, not Scratch.” A pink earth pony with a poofy mane and tail walked to the doorway. She was wearing a cyan military jacket and had an admiral’s hat that matched it in colour. The pony happily hopped into the room with a wide smile on her face. “Hi Celly,” the pink pony said. “Are you going to surrender?” “Pinkie Pie?” Celestia gawked. “You’re The Smiling Mare?” “I thought it would’ve been obvious with that pseudonym,” Pinkie giggled. “After all, who’s the literal embodiment of laughter? So, are you going to surrender? You’ll be happy if you do.” All of the guards in the room pointed spears at Pinkie. A few of the unicorn guards lit up their horns and pointed them at her. “Well, well, well,” Blueblood said with a smirk. “Seems the reports were right. You are going to make me happy. Guards, if you wouldn’t mind?” As the guards approached her, Pinkie tapped her chest twice with it clinking with each touch. A bright blue party horn appeared beside her when her hoof touched the ground. Pinkie grabbed the horn and blew into it as hard as she could. A loud happy note came from it and the guards on the other end of it were thrown against the wall, knocking them unconscious. She turned around still blowing into the horn. The end of it was pointed towards each of the guards and government employees, and like the guards before them, they all were pushed back and knocked unconscious. Pinkie ran towards Blueblood tapping her chest. The blue horn turned into a party popper and rested in her hooves. The party popper was pointed at Blueblood and its contents were thrown at him. Blue streamers flew out of it and hit his face. The prince fell backwards onto the stone floor. “Huh,” Pinkie said. “That was easier than expected. Back to the topic at hoof, are you going to surrender? Or are we going to have to bring you smiles?” “That energy,” Celestia stood up. “You have the Element of Laughter, don’t you?” Pinkie continued smiling and began unbuttoning her jacket. After undoing the top three buttons she pulled her jacket open. Sitting on her chest was a golden necklace with a bright blue gem shaped like a balloon embedded into it. “That I do,” Pinkie tapped the jewel again. “And I took Generosity and Kindness too.” “Why are you doing this?” Celestia took a few steps towards the pink pony. “Why are you taking these cities from Equestia? Why are you storming Canterlot Castle?” Pinkie laughed. “Oh Celly,” she said. “I thought you would know. I’m just trying to making ponies happy.” “By taking away their freedom?” “Is that what your reports are telling you? You need to get your facts straight,” Pinkie looked straight into Celestia’s eyes with a fire burning into her own. “I’m doing this, because I see ponies who are miserable. All around the country, there are ponies who are starving, sad, or hurting. Very often all three. I’ve seen them in every settlement, every village, and every city. While there are those miserable, there are also many who are rich and happy. They could use their resources to help these ponies, but they don’t. Why is that?” “I’ll tell you why,” Pinkie looked down at Blueblood. “It’s because for the majority to prosper, a minority has to suffer. That needs to change. And the only way to do that is to remove the power from the bourgeoise. Power shouldn’t be concentrated; it should be in the hooves of everypony. In all of the cities I’ve united under my banner, I’ve made the citizens happy. I’ve distributed all the food to keep ponies well fed, I’ve given the directionless purpose, and I’ve given everypony the power to right this wrong.” “Pinkie, I know that ponies suffer, and I’ve been trying my best to…” A pink hoof placed itself on Celestia’s lips. “You’ve done nothing,” Pinkie calmly said. “You’ve had over a thousand years to help them. But you haven’t done a thing. Even if you have good intentions, it’s going to be lost in all of the red tape set up by ponies like him.” Pinkie pointed to the unconscious body of Blueblood. “There has to be change for everypony to be happy, and the one to bring that change will be me,” she said. “So I ask again, for everypony’s happiness, will you surrender?” Celestia crouched down in a defensive stance lighting her horn. The white unicorn at the doorway entered the room. “I see,” Pinkie leapt backwards into the air and tapped the necklace. A bright blue speaker that stood three times as tall as Celestia rose up from the ground behind the white unicorn. A blue turntable connected to the speaker stood in front of the unicorn. Pinkie landed on it as it reached its full height. “Scratch, drop the bass.” A white hoof pressed on the turntable bringing the speaker to life. A loud distorted wave of sound came from the speaker, pushing both Celestia and the unconscious ponies back. A small shield was conjured in front of her. Despite her best efforts, she was still being forced back. The pony standing behind the turntable pushed a switch up, increasing the sound’s power. The shield broke causing Celestia to fly backwards. She and the unconscious bodies crashed through a window. “That’s not going to keep her down,” the white pony said. “I know,” Pinkie hopped down from the speaker as it faded away. “Take a few of the ponies in the Generosity Division with you. Keep advancing into the castle and try to get as many to join our cause as possible. If they don’t want to fight with us, take care of them. But don’t kill anypony, that would make others sad. I’ll meet up with everypony in Laughter to tell them what’s happened.” The white unicorn nodded and left the room. Pinkie walked to the hole in the window and looked down. She found Celestia holding to the unconscious bodies of the guards, Blueblood, and the castle’s employees in her magical grip. Pinkie turned around and sighed in relief. If everything went according to plan, nopony would have to die.