"Excuse me," Sky called to the pair of ponies ahead of him.
The suited unicorn stallion and blue unicorn turned around to stare at the pegasus who was frantically waving at them. Trixie groaned and placed her hoof over her annoyed expression despite the fact that his leather vest and war paint made him look rather intimidating.
"Oh Celestia. What the hay is he doing here? Trixie thought she got rid of that nutcase."
Harley gently grasped Sky's waving hoof and lowered it to the ground signalling that it was no longer necessary.
"Hi. My name's Clear Sky, and I was wondering if you could possibly let my marefriend go before I, uh, what was it again?" Sky asked.
Harley leaned over and whispered something in his ear. Immediately, Sky continued.
"Oh yeah. Before I have to kick your ass."
The suited stallion broke into a hysterical fit of laughter. Once the humor had passed, he adjusted his purple fedora hat and spoke up.
"Kick my ass? Perhaps you don't realize who you're dealin' with. My name is A Pimp Named Slickmane, and this here ain't no marefriend to no stallion. This here's a whorse."
Trixie looked towards the ground, away from the pegasus and suited pony; a pained expression plastered on her muzzle.
"Alright Mr. Slickmane, I --" Sky said before he was cut off.
"No! It's A Pimp Named Slickmane. You say the whole thing--yes, every single time," A Pimp Named Slickmane replied.
"Okay then, A Pimp Named Slickmane, or whatever it is. I just need you to let Trixie go. I don't know why you kidnapped her, but I kinda need her back now," Sky said cheerfully.
The suited pimp cocked an eyebrow at the pegasus pony then turned back to Trixie, who was still staring at the ground.
"You know this stallion, whorse?" he asked in a tone sharp enough to slice rock.
"No. Trixie's never seem him before in her life," she mumbled.
With a smile, A Pimp Named Slickmane turned back to look at the duo of stallions. It was then that he noticed Harley standing next to Sky staring at him with a glare that would frighten the hardest of ponies.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Harley. How's the whole marriage thing workin' out for ya?"
Harley's nostrils flared and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end, anticipating a fight.
"You know damn well how it's going, A Pimp Named Slickmane! She ran off with you just when our relationship with blooming! You took the only thing I've ever loved, and now I'm gonna make you pay!"
A maniacal cackle erupted from the pimp pony as he slowly stroked Trixie's somewhat-matted mane, causing her to flinch.
"You knew what she did for a livin'. You knew full well that she was a stripper -- a harlot, yet you thought you could turn a hustler into a housewife. It don't work like that, Harley. Whorses like her work solely to get me money, that's why I always know where they are."
The slick maned pony pulled a cellphone from his suit pocket and flipped it open.
"Whorse, where you at?" he asked angrily.
A response was heard from the other end of the line.
"I'm out here gettin' your money," and older feminine voice replied.
"That's what I thought! Thank you, grandma."
The pimp slid the phone back into his suit pocket and looked back at the confused looking ponies.
"Sorry 'bout that," he replied with a chuckle, "Anyway, like I said, I always know where my workers are and if they're earning me money or not. This whorse here wasn't earning her quota, so I was takin' her to where all the other whorses who don't meet their quota go."
He turned around and pointed over the near hillside. The two other ponies looked in the direction he was pointing and could barely make out a tall, shanty looking building.
"What's that?" Sky asked.
"That there's the Plot Hole. It's the most isolated brothel in Equestria. We all know these hermit ponies in the middle of nowhere need their kicks, too. I thought I'd give them some fresh meat," the pimp snickered, yanking Trixie's mane, eliciting a squeal of pain from the mare.
"Hey! You hurt her one more time and I swear to CELESTIA I'm gonna really let you have it, buddy!" Sky seethed, nostrils flared and eyes narrowed.
Harley took a step away from Sky. This was a side of the pegasus he had never seen before, and from the expression on Sky's face, he hoped he would never see it again.
"You will, will you?" asked A Pimp Named Slickmane. With this he raised his hoof and smacked Trixie across the face, sending her crashing into the dirt.
Sky let out a blood-chilling scream before he charged the suited stallion, an ocean of rage flowing through him. The pegasus swung his hoof, missing the suited pony by mere inches. Now it was Slickmane's turn. With one swift motion, the pimp turned around and bucked the pegasus pony in the stomach, knocking the wind from his lungs and sending him
tumbling to the ground, gasping for breath.
Harley galloped to meet Sky's attacker with the force of a freight train, eyes focused on his target. The pimp's horn began to glow as he levitated something from his suit pocket: a gun. By now, Harley was in melee range, unaware of the metallic object in Slickmane's magical grasp. The aura brought the gun downward, slamming it against Harley's head. With a cry of agony, Harley collapsed to the ground next to Trixie, rubbing his now bleeding forehead.
"To hay with all y'all! I'm just gonna kill ya now!" the slick maned pony declared, cocking the pistol, "starting with you, whorse!"
Trixie cowered as Slickmane pointed the barrel to her head, allowing her to gaze up at her own demise. Time seemed to slow as the unicorn mare braced for her certain death and awaited it's cold embrace. A pale blue blur passed in front of her before she could comprehend the situation.
BANG!
A small hole formed in the passing blur, sending droplets of red splattering about the ground. As time returned to normal and the passing blur faded, Trixie looked in the direction it had passed and noticed Sky laying on the ground, motionless, his chest smothered in red.
"Celestia dammit! That damn kid got in the way! Now I gotta try agai --" the pimp said before he was cut off by Harley leaping onto him and pinning him to the ground.
"You. Son. Of. A. Bitch. You. Shot. My. Friend. You. Mother. Bucker!"
With each punch, more blood began to seep from Slickmane's mouth and nose and more tears began to seep from Harley's eyes until his punches were nothing more than little taps. The earth pony removed himself from atop the pimp and slowly crawled over to Sky, sobbing all the while.
"Sky! Wake up! Please wake up! Don't you die on me! DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" he bawled, shaking the limp pegasus.
Slowly, the pegasus began to stir, opening his eyes to look at his pathetic looking friend staring down on him.
"Hey, Harley," Sky whispered, "How's it going?"
Harley's frown quickly changed to a face-splitting grin as he wrapped the pegasus in an unbearably tight embrace. When Sky began to wheeze some, the earth pony knew to loosen his grip. To Harley's surprise, Sky was able to stand up on his hooves rather quickly.
"How the hay are already feeling fine? You got shot!" Harley exclaimed.
Sky rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof as he nervously chuckled.
"I sorta took along an extra jar of that red paint stuff from the village in case I had to reapply it. It must have shattered when the bullet hit it," the pegasus replied looking at his red splattered vest.
"Wait. Where's Trixie?" Harley asked.
Sky's eyes went wide and his ears perked as if he had forgotten to where clothes to school.
"Oh no! Where is she?" Sky asked frantically, looking everywhere but where she was. Harley grabbed Sky's face and pointed it in the direction of the blue unicorn who was staring at them with an angry expression.
"Sweetie!" Sky exclaimed rushing to the mare's side. He plopped down beside her, unaware that she was scooting away from him. "You're safe now, Trixie! We saved you fro --" Sky managed to utter before the mare interrupted.
"Get the hay away from Trixie, you stupid dumbass! Can't you take a hint? I don't like you, we were never together, and you will never find love because you are RETARDED!" she shrieked.
Harley's mouth formed an "o" of surprise. Looking back at Sky, he saw the pegasai's ears down, his lips quivering, and tsunamis about to erupt from his eyes. Before Harley could say anything, Sky got up and ran off in the direction of Ponyville, crying his eyes out and sobbing like a newborn.
"Idiotic cretin," Trixie said.
"How could you?"
"Pardon?"
Trixie looked at the green earth pony; his gaze was to the ground, but it was clear that he was less than pleased.
"How could you do that to him? Now he's never going to be happy again."
"Well it serves that idiot right for stalking Trixie like that. Besides, I'm way too far out of his league."
The next thing Trixie felt were powerful hooves grasping her shoulders. She looked up to see an angry-eyed Harley staring knives into her heart.
"He took a bullet for you! He loves you, dammit -- open your eyes!
Love. Trixie had never known the meaning of the word. Ever since she was a foal, everypony had tried to exploit her beauty. That was how she had gotten into this profession, after all. Now that there was a pony who genuinely loved her for just being her, the mare was unable to comprehend these new feelings flowing through her brain.
"Trixie...I" she stammered.
"I think I know where Sky is. I think you owe him an apology," Harley replied, winking.
The unicorn mare smiled, tears welling in her eyes, causing her gaze to glisten in the light of the setting sun.
"Trixie...I mean 'I' think I do." she replied.
The sound of a cocking gun made them turn to find Slickmane's magical aura surrounding the gun once more. Harley stepped in front of Trixie to shield her from the ravenous pimp.
"You think I'm done?" asked the suited pony, wiping blood from his mouth, "I ain't dead yet. Now by a long shot!"
The next thing that the three ponies heard was the revving of a motorcycle and the sound of a pony whooping in excitement. A large chopper with skulls and wings painted on it slid in front of Harley and Trixie. A brown earth pony dismounted it and cantered over to Slickmane, throwing him over his shoulder.
"What the buck you doin'? Put me down!" the pimp protested.
"Sorry," said the brown earth pony, "But we Hell's Pegasai don't take to kindly to ponies who buck with our fellow members."
With that, the earth stallion slid the pimp off his his back and over the edge of the hill, sending him rolling down to the river of rapids bellow. The brown pony turned to look at Trixie. When he opened his mouth to speak, his mouth hung open and his eyes widened.
"D-dad?" he asked.
"Bull? Is that really you?" Harley asked.
Once the realization hit them, the two of them locked in a loving embrace, realizing that they had now found what they had lost many years before.
"Ahem," the unicorn mare interjected, causing the two earth ponies to break apart, "I don't mean to be rude, but there's a pony who I need to apologize to, so if we could possibly save the catching up for another time, that would be just wonderful."
Harley looked at his son, shrugged, then broke into a gallop in the direction of where Sky was sure to be -- Trixie and Bull Runner not far behind.
"Hey barkeep, another shot of Daniel's, please," Sky said, his speech slightly slurred.
"Hey kid, don't you think you've had enough for one night?" asked the bartender.
"I'll tell you when I've had enough!" exclaimed the pegasus, "now get me more liquor! I need to be totally hammered to forget this."
The barkeep came back with another shot of Applejack Daniel's and handed it to Sky, who downed it in one gulp. The pegasus sighed as he set the empty shot glass next to the other seventy-five glasses of hard liquor he had emptied in the past hour.
"What's gotcha so down, kid?" the bartender asked.
"She was a temptress. The fairest of all maidens. A mare far beyond what I had ever imagined beauty could possibly be. Though she knew how to please a stallion, she knew no permanent suitor; only spending time with those who paid her the most. What a corrupted society we live in, isn't it?" Sky replied.
"Yeah. You've had enough for one night."
As the bartender trotted away shaking his head, Sky slumped in his seat and huffed.
"Mind if I join you?" asked a gentle voice.
"Sure. Go ahead." replied Sky, sighing.
A blue figure hopped up on the bar stool next to him. Sky looked over and noticed her swirled white mane and her flowing white tail. Her purple eyes looked back at him with a sympathetic expression. Finally, Sky's ears perked up and his eyes widened to an almost impossible size.
"Trixie?! What are you doing here?!"
"I came to apologize for my behavior. I had no idea that you felt that way about me. The meaning of love seemed to elude me all these years, but you've shown me what love truly is, Sky." she said, placing her hoof on his own.
The pegasus quickly drew his hoof back and turned away from the blue unicorn.
"I don't believe you! No matter how nice and beautiful you may be, I don't think I can trust you ever again!" he said, pouting.
"She's telling the truth, Sky," Harley replied, cantering to stand next to a still-pouting Clear Sky.
"Dad's right. She knows what she did was wrong and now she wants your forgiveness. What've you got to lose Sky?" Bull added.
Even with his friends said otherwise, Sky still did not turn to look at Trixie.
"I'm not sure she means it."
A set of hooves grasped Sky and turned him around. The next thing he felt was a pair of lips connecting with his in a tender but firm kiss. Sky's cheeks brightened and his entire body began to grow warmer and warmer by the second.
When Trixie's lips finally left his, the unicorn looked back at him.
"Do you believe me now?" she asked.
Still stunned by her gesture, it took Sky a minute or two to snap back to reality and respond.
"Y-yeah. I do now," he replied with a smile. Trixie then pulled the pegasus in for a tight embrace.
"I love you, Clear Sky," she whispered in his ear.
"I love you, too, Trixie!" he shouted. Even though every patron of the bar had heard his confession of love, the pegasus didn't care. He was finally with the mare of his dreams.
"So, what are you gonna do now, Harley?" Sky asked.
"Well, since I really have nothing else to do, I think I might run with my son's gang and see where the wind takes me," he said, wrapping his arm around Bull. "The question is: what do you plan on doing, Trixie?"
The unicorn pondered for a moment, then replied.
"I plan on redeeming myself and showing everypony back in Ponyville that I'm no longer and never again will be a cheap whorse. Of course, I also plan on helping foals to succeed in their own lives..."
She paused, then looked at the pegasus stallion across from her.
"What do you say, Sky? Will you help me with that?" she asked with a wink.
Harley and Bull's eyes went wide with shock as they realized what Trixie had just Sky to do. Sky, of course, seemed none the wiser.
"You bet! I'll do whatever it takes!"