[Knight]
{Me}
"Still looks like a statue to me" I was in the royal gardens standing in front of the statue of Discord who was still very much a statue and you know generally statue-y.
"Tis a replica" I stared at Luna
"A replica?"
"Yes"
"Why? You can't really think that he adds to the value of the garden because lemme tell that this guy is definitely not raise the castle's value any time soon." Luna glared at me while I shrugged.
It was just Me and Luna in the gardens while Celestia and the girls went to get the elements of harmony, hopefully before Discord got at the this time. I had been told that it was my job to investigate the 'crime scene' not really sure what kind of crime this would be classified as jailbreak or some shit.
"We had a replica made so ponies would not panic if he were to somehow escape again."
"Yeah everything would be great until he showed up and fuck everything over." again with the glaring it's like ponies don't appreciate my sarcasm or something
[Yeah I can only imagine why they would be annoyed by it]
{I know right?}
"So what exactly am I looking for here?"
"Err anything that could point to where Discord went and what he's up too" right because that narrows it down
"Shouldn't you ponies have a spell for this by now?" I sighed
"Oh yes let me just scan the entire world and everything in it and tell you where Discord is because it is so easy to scan every blade of grass and rock to see if they have been altered by chaos magic" Fine I get it ponies can be sarcastic too jeez.
"Well can't you just look for Discord?"
"I'm afraid not even if we could scan the entire world areas like the Everfree would cause too much interference for us to know where he's at"
"Soo what you're saying is I should just Napalm strike the entire Everfree forest? Will do!"
"What is Napalm?"
"Napalm is a magical substance that hunts down your enemy." and by hunt I mean burn and by your enemy I mean everything in a few miles radius. Ahhh the glory that is Napalm
"Hmm sounds like something worthy of investigation, I shall speak with my sister about this" ha! I would pay money to see that conversation
[Napalm later, find evil chaos god now]
{Alright mother!}
I began to walk around the statue looking for anything out of place but the only strange thing was the slightly burned grass near the pedestal but I mean how the hell was that suppose to help me? Talk to the fucking grass? I don't think so!
"Well I'm out of ideas" I shrugged as I walked back towards Luna when I saw something glint in the grass. I bent down and picked up a small green scale.
"Hey Luna does Discord have scales?" she looked at me confused
"He does"
"What color are they?"
"Normally they are green"
"I am success!" Luna just looked confused which was just as well I suppose. I took the scale over to Luna
"Here you go now you can find him right?" she looked at the scale for a moment before picking it up in her magical grip and scanning it
"Tis Discord's scale however the spell needed to track him will take time and energy." great cause I have nothing I need to do with my free time or anything.
[We could try making rockets again]
{Later I'm bitching right now}
"Right sooo now what?"
"Well we shall inform our sister of the scale and we shall prepare the spell" doesn't really answer what I am supposed to do
"Okay then...... I guess I will go raise havoc in town....... bye." I began to walk towards Canterlot
"Thou shalt do no such thing!"
"But- But..... I wanna cause havoc!" I tried making a puppy dog face but I guess human puppy dog faces are nothing in comparison to pony puppy dog faces.
"Thou art to remain in the castle until such time as Discord may be located."
"I don't wanna" I whined in my best Rarity voice
"Too bad" It's not very effective.....
"Well I guess thats fair" I jumped into the air and began flying towards the city, until a dark blue aura engulfed me
"Cheating! That is totally cheating!" I continued to rant, which may have included several words that would have made a sailor blush, until I finally burned myself out.
"Better?" I continued to glare at Luna
"No" I was pretty sure that if I was in a anime I would have those angry line scribbles above my head you know the ones I am talking about. Anyway I'm sure I can find something 'fun' to do in the castle. I wonder how they feel about fire and explosives
[Don't forget the Napalm]
{Of course how could I forget about the Napalm?}
My mind was wandering on the practical daily applications of napalm (Pest Control) when the girls joined us. Twilight saw me floating in the air surrounded in magic
"So what did he do?" she asked with a flat look
"I am completely innocent I just wanted to have some fun!"
"I believe his exact words were 'I guess I will go raise havoc in town' and began to head towards Canterlot" Gee thanks for the knife in the back Luna
"Jake.." that is the patented 'Jake what drug were you using when this thought went through your head?' tone that Twilight was using
"It wasn't going to be the bad kind of havoc it was going to be the fun kind of havoc with you know cakes n' stuff" stuff may include but is not limited too: Bombs, explosive pies, Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie covered in explosive pies, pies covered in explosive Pinkie Pies, me wearing a tuxedo with a tophat and monocle, a large black van, the 'A-Team' theme song, a pony with a afro, the letter T and much, much more.
Apparently giggling to yourself after prolonged silence in something that will get you stared at
"What?" they continued to stare
"Oh come on we all know that I am in fact that crazy already" this did not seem to put them at ease
