I begin to drive home, the new fluffy inside a cardboard box the teenager gave me. It's beside its self with joy of having a daddy, as the scientist programmed its brain to give unconditional love to owners. And thanks to the taser zap, it remembers nothing of its mother. It's kinda sad, but you know this will prevent it from whining about its mother and other retarded shit.
You decided to name the little guy Crest, because that's a toothpaste too, so why the hell not? He is babbling to himself about having a new daddy and having a name! It's pretty adorable...
These past few weeks have been quite an eye opener for me. Turns out, fluffy ponies aren't really all that bad, if you give them care and love back. I think the only problem is that I always hated the show and the fluffies for no justifiable reason, that my brain kept rejecting their love anytime they tried to express it. And because I'm going to the trouble of getting a second fluffy just increases my happiness and love for the little fuzzballs. Originally, this was only to shut up Yam, but now I think this is much, much more.
My heart gets faster and I get more butterflies in my stomach the closer I get to my house, as I am anxious to see the look on Yam's face when she gets a new friend. I pull up into the driveway; I've only been gone twenty minutes at the most. I forget to unbuckle, and get pulled back by the seatbelt with the box in my hands. I'm way too excited about fluffy ponies.
I bolt inside after unlocking the door, and Yam is resting on the floor near the dining table in a little fluffy ball. She lifts her head up and her ears perk up when she hears me enter. "Wa in bawx, daddeh?" she says, now standing up. "This, Yam my wonderful little girl, is your new... FRIEND!" I say as I place Crest in front of her. "Noo fwend fo Wam! Hewwo! Wha yo name? Ma name Wam! Wan pway wif Wam?" they begin to introduce each other and play. They really get along.
After a while, I decide its time for bed, and place them in the safe room. I then walk up stairs, calling to them "Good night, little ones." I brush my teeth, put on my pajamas, and slip under my silk covers. Today was a really good day. These dumb little things make extremely good pets. I couldn't wait till tomorrow.
---
Monday rolls around, and I'm like Garfield. I hate Mondays. But fate has taken pity on me for not enjoying my Saturday and Sunday mornings, as my brother calls. He says a fire broke out in the electrical room, meaning no work can be done for an ENTIRE WEEK. An entire week of paid vacation for someone's screw up. Whoever did that is my new best friend. The call happened after I had made my coffee, so I decided it was time to wake up the fluffies. I wanted to let them sleep a bit more, and if they're already up, let them bond a bit more. Although that's kinda stupid, seeing as fluffies can bond with each other at the drop of a hat.
I open up the safe room door, and the two fluffies are sleeping in a small fluff pile in the center of the room. The light from the hallway hits their eyes, and they slowly wake up. Crest yawns and stretches its arms. Now that I think about it, I grabbed Crest from his pen without even looking at its gender. "Crest, come here, I need to see something." I meant to get a girl fluffy, so the things don't want to make babies. That would mean keeping FluffTV off, because they show Babies! almost all the time, forcing fluffy mares to demand foals.
Anywho, Crest waddles over to me, a tad groggy, but it has a smile on its face nonetheless. I pick the fluffy up and place it on his back. "Nu wike bein upsy-downsy! Daddeh! Hewp Cwest up! Hewp!" I ignore its cries, and check its crotch area for genitals. "Shit. I got the wrong gender." I say, setting Crest back on his legs. "Fank oo daddeh! Save Cwest!" He hugs my knee. Well, looks like these two will possibly be making babies together. I remember signing a paper at the shelter saying I can't give fluffies back. I'm shit out of luck, then.
Either way, I still love the both of them. Crest, still recovering from his ordeal with being on his back, gets a big hug from Yam, and he returns the favor. I then head to the kitchen to whip up some breakfast for myself and the fluffies. They are right at my heels, and I throw a ball in front of them to occupy themselves while I put some cereal in a bowl for the both of them.
The hours begin to slip away from me as I do basic housework and making sure the ponies are fed and happy. In what seems like a blink of an eye, it's already two o'clock. I decided that my ponies should experience the outdoors for the first time in their so far short lives. "Who wants to play outside?" I ask, and they start to celebrate at the word play. They bound around me as I head to the back door, and open it.
---
You are Yam. You're really happy as of late! You got a new friend to play with, who is very pretty, and now daddy says you get to play outside! You don't know what outside is, but you heard play! Anything with they word play is obviously amazing and good! Daddy opens up the giant swingy blocker, a dur, you think it's called.
You take your very first breath of fresh air. It smells amazing! You want MORE. You finally, after what seems like hours, take your first steps outside. There are many green things sticking out of the ground, and even more pretty things that are much more colorful that the green things. You instinctively call the green things 'gwassies'.
You place your first hoof on the grass, and it feels really amazing. You look around for Crest, and he's right beside you, doing the same thing. You ask him if he wants to play, and he says yes! The both of you are now chasing each other, happily giggling and babbling.
---
I just let out the ponies for the first time, and I am sitting in my lounger, watching the two play. They're just curiously sniffing new objects, observing their surroundings, playing, and the occasional hugging. It's a damn fine day to be alive. But, the sun begins to warm you with its rays, as it makes its final trip on the sky for the day. The softness of the of the chair makes this even worse, and you find yourself sound asleep in a matter of minutes, while your ponies continue playing.
"Hewwo, noo fwends! Wan pway?" you hear the voice of Yam say, as you slowly wake up. The sun has been set for a while now, and you check your watch. 7:00 at night. Either Yam forgot who Crest is, or... Shit. You bolt up out of your chair. You're fears are confirmed. Standing in your back yard, along with Yam and Crest, is a small herd of ferals. One unicorn smarty friend, which is the leader of the herd, his mate, and another colt who is a pegasus.
You seen what can happen when herds and house fluffies mix. They can end in gruesome battles, or they can take away your pets. You don't hesitate, or wait for the smarty friend to give a response to Yam. You scoop both Yam and Crest up, doing a quick head count, and place them in the safe room. Now to deal with the herd.
You walk back outside, to see the herd still there. The smarty puffs out his cheeks and stomps his little hooves at the sight of you. Even though you love fluffies now, you still hate ferals. "Dummy hooman! Dis fwuffy wand nao! Weave or get big owchies!" The rest of his small herd cheers him on. You decide to have a bit of fun with them.
"Oh no! I wouldn't want big ouchies! You got me! I'll leave!" You head back inside, pretending to have been defeated with your head hung low. The herd cheers and the smarty puffs out his chest fluff to show how 'amazing' he is. You run to your closet, and grab a mask from last Halloween. It's a really deformed mask, with fake blood smeared on it, and only has one hole for an eye. You put it on, and grab a nerf gun that was laying around from when your younger cousin visited.
You bust open the door, and begin shooting darts at the random fluffies as best you can. They all shit and piss themselves horribly, and begin to run away, back to the hole where they came in. The mate of the smarty friend is pregnant, though. She is two weeks, which means she can't run or walk without assistance. "Lemme help you!" you say, in a dark, menacing voice. You throw her over the fence into the neighbor's yard. Their screams become distant.
This day was probably the best in your life.