Staring at the door was a purplish earth pony mare with a ruffled short jet black and electric blue mane with pale stripes decorating her otherwise colorful body. She had been awake endlessly, perhaps, without an escape to much needed sleep when she was staring at the stallion in front of her. Stallion, her gray colt, he would always be to her as she felt a familiar pulse in her chest taking in how much he’d grown into adulthood. Way too fast, as his gray figure stood slightly taller than her and his long pegasus wings were tucked at his sides. He had a blue mane that’s shade was between her half electric blue mane and his father’s softer blue mane, though his long blue hair was in a ponytail. He had her eyes, quite literally, and the purplish mare noticed with a mounting horror that they weren’t in the house anymore. She was at the bottom step of the front porch, with the scenery promising of peace and serenity as the bird and butterflies flew past the both of them. Completely innocent of the brutal life beyond the yard.
Her heart twisted as she saw a smile creeped up the gray colt’s face, not wide and excited as she saw when he grew up all those years, but with a bitterness as they knew how this would end. She had to speak first, because she couldn’t bear it in her heart to hear him say whatever ruinous realities that would plague her from the moment she woke to the moment she slept. She needed to be in control here.
“And you’re sure you have everything?” the purplish mare asked clearly, though she wasn’t able to keep her eyes on the gray colt any longer as her gaze darted anywhere and everywhere, even looking over her shoulder and back inside the house through the view of the window. There had to be something to perhaps delay her sweet gray colt from his duty for another year, maybe even stall for a few days so she can keep that time. Selfishness and her own heart above everypony else just for a little bit longer, before reality caught up with her. Her gray colt smiled a little less harshly from her statement, his smile was more mellow and something else that she didn’t quite like. Pitying.
“Mom, don’t worry, I’m fine!” the gray colt insisted, taking a couple steps forward to throw his foreleg around the purplish mare’s shoulders in a hug, even extending his wings to pat the back of her head and down her back as he held the embrace for a while, knowing that they both needed it and yet it would never be enough. Not for this. Pulling back, her gray colt gave a firm nod. “I’ll write when I can, I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetheart,” the purplish mare stretched out her foreleg, wanting to see if she could pull him back for a few more minutes. Hour. Two hours. Surely they could wait? But with the backpack of stuff slung over his shoulder, the final nail in the coffin, the gray pegasus turned around and began to walk. A coldness rushed throughout the purplish mare’s body that disturbed her far more than the moment had any right to, shouldn’t she be proud? Blurting out the words, the purplish mare’s eyes shot wide as she raised her voice. “Promise you’ll come home safe!”
Her gray colt stopped, looking at the ground of the dirt in its simplicity, knowing that the dirt he’d soon walk wouldn’t be half as pleasant. It’d be a silent witness to horrors and atrocities that should never be spoken to begin with, and yet, it’d still be dirt.
“I can’t promise anything,” the gray colt whispered, before looking back up and glancing over his shoulder and smiling at his mother. “I’ll try my best!”
With those last words, her gray colt walked farther and farther as he neglected his wings entirely for a myriad of reasons. He was obviously in no rush to be going to his next destination, and the gray pegasus desired a lot of time to think for such a monumental change in his life. His slow step nearly brought the purplish mare to madness with how long he took to leave, but also got her heart racing as she got to have her gray colt safe and sound in her sights for a little longer before the world took hold of him in more ways than one. But eventually, he did disappear out of her lingering sight, and the purplish mare sighed as she turned around and walked back into the house. Perhaps she could sleep and succumb to the exhaustion of the stress that burned away at her energy, that needless yet powerful anxiety that ate a piece of her each time that she couldn’t get back. Closing the door behind her with a hindleg, she had barely removed her back hoof from the door when she’d heard firm knocking against it. Her heart skipping a beat, she opened the door again and saw two military officers adorned in uniforms and remaining solemn as one of them spoke.
“Ma’am, we regret to inf-”
SLAM!
The purplish mare felt a surge of fierce and unforgiving adrenaline surge through her with a vengeance as she was by herself again. Shaking her head, the purplish mare made a beeline up the stairs, and then down the stairs, as she kept moving back and forth.
“Don’t think about that,” the purplish mare pleaded with herself, her pounding chest only getting worse as her demand only proved to multiply the violating images in her head. Blood, anger, perhaps a fate even worse than death. All of those atrocities out there in the world happened to her gray colt. “You can beat it this time.”
As she had walked up to the door again, she had turned around and walked past the counter, knowing very well what was there. Official documents though the mail hadn’t even been delivered.
“Don’t look, oh do not look,” the purplish mare bore her eyes on the walls, forcing her eyes on them. “Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look-”
The purplish mare clenched her eyes shut as she repeated her mantra, getting into it enough that she hoped this time would be different. That she’d be able to open her eyes to a different outcome, or a distraction of some kind. She repeated this for an amount of time she didn’t even fathom, it could’ve been several minutes or several days, so long as she escaped. The purplish mare opened her eyes.
Everything had darkened, literally and physically, as the purplish mare’s blood ran cold as she saw the two officers again. Though their faces that gave a sliver of comfort were now some cursed blurs that showed no happiness, no sadness, and certainly no remorse as they flanked an open grave with the official documents held by their magic and their wings. The purplish mare knew what those papers said everytime, but perhaps by some miracle, they would say something different. Though, she knew what it was called to experience the same event and expect different results, and she walked up and looked at the gravestone’s text staring back at her almost mockingly:
Rain Remedy
Beloved Son, Brother, Grandson and Medic
Felled in Service To Equestria
Throwing her forehooves over her eyes, the purplish mare shut her eyes.
“THIS PART ISN’T REAL, THIS PART ISN’T REAL, THIS PART ISN’T REAL!” the purplish mare bellowed, hearing the cries and sobs of other ponies at the funeral service. She even felt the gentle pat of several loved ones comforting her over a loss that could never be restored. Never be relieved. Though, despite the unknown ponies’ shared grief, one voice echoed with deep firmness and certainty.
“Pathetic.”
The purplish mare was all too familiar with this voice as it spoke a different language than all the others around her. She had turned to see a grayish-blue zebra standing in front of her, the zebra’s eyes firm and unwavering with the intensity of a thousand suns. By appearance alone, the zebra mare looked to only be slightly older than the purplish mare, but they both knew that the zebra mare was far older. The purplish mare lowered her head as the zebra mare continued in her native tongue.
“At least he understood what he was in the end. You, on the other hoof, though being gifted with the blessing of being half of two creatures, somehow found a way to be nothing at all.
You. Are. A. Waste.”
The purplish mare shot back up to fire back a retort at the zebra mare, only to see instead her son staring back at her. Feeling her hooves leaving the grass beneath her, passion and despair exploded her sense of self as the air slapped her face with how sharply she bolted in a one-way gallop towards her son. If only to hold him one last time, though with wide eyes and a blank expression that gave away nothing, her gray colt kept backing away until he quietly backed away into his grave and fell in. Without questioning the consequences, or even thinking it over, the purplish mare galloped off the ground and dove in the grave after him.