Edited by the amazingly awesome TacoTown who somehow puts up with my shit and helps me hammer my misshapen thoughts into a congruent plot and corrects my absolutely terrible grammar
The end part 2
“Why don’t you sit down?” The beautiful but incredibly dangerous looking blonde asked Twilight with a small smile.
Seeing no other option, Twilight complied. The office was plain, and for the most part undecorated, besides the desk, two leather swivel chairs. A bookshelf along the back wall and was covered with dusty tomes. What caught Twilight’s attention however, were the pictures on the desk. One was an exact replica of the one that Ethan had given Twilight of he and Cassandra standing together in front of a tall, light covered tower. The other two pictures were of a man in hulking black powerarmor, holding something that looked like a gauss rifle fused with a minigun. The other was a short, shady looking man with a large revolver.
“So where the am I and who are you?” Twilight asked.
“You’re in my office. As for me, I’m W.” The woman replied with an enigmatic smile.
“Would you just drop the act and tell me what’s going on? You’re keeping me away from the mare I love, and I’ve recently become very deadly. So I’d advise that you don’t hold me here much longer.” Twilight growled. To her surprise, the woman threw her head back and began to laugh. “Did I say something funny?” Twilight asked.
“If there’s one thing I love about the wasteland (which there isn’t much) it’s its ability to turn a scholar into a warrior in ten days flat. Heh, I should put that on my card.” The woman replied with another chuckle.
“WHO ARE YOU?!” Twilight shouted, her horn glowing with arcane magic. The woman snapped her fingers and Twilight’s horn stopped glowing. “How…how did you do that?” Twilight asked in surprise.
“This is my home (well it’s my office but that’s beside the point). I make the rules here, or at the very least I keep things moving through the bureaucracy.” The woman said with a chuckle as she moved a lock of blonde hair away from her eyes.
“That still doesn’t answer my question.” Twilight said through gritted teeth.
“Fine. I’m a cross between what you would call a genius loci and a being like your Princess Celestia.” The woman elaborated, rolling her eyes with a smirk.
“That doesn’t make any sense, genius loci aren’t supposed to be truly sentient, or at least not to the extent that you seem to be.” Twilight said with a frown.
“I said I was a cross between one, not a full one.” The woman said with a small smile.
“But that’s not possible!” Twilight said in exasperation.
“My little pony, are you arguing with a god?” The woman asked, and her ancient eyes sparkled with amusement.
“Apparently not, if what you’re saying is true.” Twilight shot back and the woman threw her head back in laughter again.
“Gods, I fell right into that one. Very nice.” She said once she’d stopped laughing, as a slow grin spread across her face.
“Thank you. I take every chance I get to pull one over on beings massively more powerful than I am.” Twilight replied with a smile beginning to creep over her face.
“Alright, now that the formalities are over we can get onto the real reason that I brought you here.” The woman said before cracking her knuckles.
“Umm, actually, can you further explain what you are, not to be rude (well ruder at this point) but I’m kind of interested now.” Twilight asked imploringly.
“Alrighty then; oh and I sent a note through when your brother got home that’ll tell your friends not to worry.” The woman told Twilight, who nodded gratefully.
“Thanks; I don’t want them worrying about me anymore after this whole experience, most of which I’m guessing was your fault.” Twilight replied with an eyebrow arched archly.
“Guilty as charged. So, you want a better description of what I am, right?”
“Yes. Oh, and can you give me a real name?” Twilight replied.
“Don’t you hate it when people answer your questions with a question?”
“I know right, isn’t it the most annoying thing in the world?” Twilight replied with a smirk.
“Oh definitely, and have you noticed that those people don’t seem to realize that they’re doing it?”
“Have we dragged this out long enough?” Twilight asked with a smirk.
“I don’t know, what do you think?”
“I think you’re stalling.” Twilight said flatly, ending their banter.
“My name is W, but you can call me Wasteland, or Wastey, or Wanda.” W replied with a grin.
“Wanda?” Twilight asked.
“Long story. Word to the wise kid, don’t take bets that you aren’t one hundred percent sure that you’ll win.” W told her.
“I’ll keep that in mind, Wanda. Now, onto what you are exactly.” Twilight said with a smirk.
“To put it simply, I reflect the Wasteland. To put it another way, I reflect a large portion of the continental United States. I change to reflect the people that live inside my area, and I’m not allowed to interact directly with anyone. Oh, and I can place agents who are unaware of what they are.” W explained.
“But you put a hit on me, how is that not direct?!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Ah, well you see, you’re a different case. You’re from another dimension, thus you’re outside of my standard rules. It’s the main reason that I brought you to the Wasteland in the first place.” W answered.
“So why did you bring me here instead of some bad ass soldier from another dimension?” Twilight asked.
“Because Master Chief is frozen and Shepard was busy at the time.” W answered with shrug.
“Who are they?” Twilight asked in confusion.
“I was joking. I brought you here, Twilight Sparkle, because you were the only one in the multiverse who could do the job the right way. Without you Ethan would’ve died, the Capital Wasteland would’ve devolved into a Legion pissing ground, and Cassandra maddened by grief would’ve become a heartless dictator.” W told Twilight with a sad shake of her head.
“But why me?” Twilight asked still confused.
“Twilight Sparkle, you have done great things, greater then you know honestly. The gods have come to expect great things of you, and you have yet to disappoint. Well, there was that one time, but that wasn’t your story anyways and without you Littlepip’s world wouldn’t be complete, so meh.” W answered with a shrug.
“Do I even want to know?” Twilight asked.
“Nope.” W answered with a grin. “Now onto business, I brought you into an extremely hostile environment without your consent or the approval of your realm’s gods. For that I owe you a reward, and the way I see the only reward that I could offer you is a way to stay with Celestia for eternity.” W continued.
“How?” Twilight asked her ears perking up with interest (not that she hadn’t been interested before, but the idea of spending eternity with Celestia made her even more interested.)
“I’ll turn you into a ghoul.” W replied with a grin. Twilight’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened in fear. “I’m joking.”
“That wasn’t funny!” Twilight protested.
“Well I thought it was.” W said with a chuckle while Twilight glared. “Oh alright I’ll tell you the real options. Firstly you can become an ali-”
“Please not that.” Twilight said urgently.
“Why not?” W asked puzzledly.
“Because I don’t want to be an alicorn, do you know how bad of an idea that is?” Twilight replied.
“What do you mean?” W asked mystified.
“Alright I’ll explain this. There are already two main alicorns, Celestia and Luna. They both control a part of the sky. Given my name I’m assuming that I would be given the stars. Now let’s assume that I take the stars. That erases a good chunk of Luna’s power which I’m sure she wouldn’t be happy about, and the absolute last thing I need is Princess Luna upset with me. Okay, let’s say that for some reason my stealing the stars from her doesn’t make Luna furious, but if I did become an immortal alicorn then I’d become a princess. Do you think that someone like me could effectively live the life of a princess? I have enough trouble staying out of politics as it is, and I can’t think of a worse way to become involved in it. Oh, and my final reason is that that only happens in stories, hell it’s been done a million times and it’ll be done a million times more because there are always ponies out there that aspire to be one. If I suddenly grew a few feet and added a pair of wings it would probably result in a few hundred deaths as ponies desperately tried to join the ranks of the divine. So how about you offer me an alternative, okay Wanda?” Twilight asked. W threw back her head in laughter again, and continued for a good minute.
“That was a very informative lecture Twilight; I wonder if you know how true it is…” W told her with a smirk.
“True enough, now give me my other alternatives.”
“We covered ghoulification already. You said no to becoming an alicorn. I’ve got one left.” W told her.
“Alright, lay it on me.” Twilight said with a grin.
“I can bind your life force to hers.” W said.
“Explain.” Twilight replied.
“As long as she is young and youthful you will be too. If she dies, so will you. The opposite isn’t true though just in case you were wondering. It will not turn you into a god, and it won’t make you any stronger, it’ll just make you eternally youthful.” W explained.
“That sounds good actually.” Twilight said, after scratching her chin in thought.
“Alright then, if that’s what you want.” W told her with a surprisingly kind smile. Then the goddess snapped her fingers, a thin purple light flowed over Twilight’s body before disappearing in a small flash.
“I don’t feel any different.” Twilight commented.
“You aren’t supposed to. That’s kind of the point.” W told her with a smirk.
“Okay, thank you so much for the reward.” Twilight said with a smile.
“It’s really the least I can do for turning you into a killer. Oh, and I’m sending you back standing right in front of Celestia, she’s on a balcony overlooking the queendom. Five seconds before you arrive silently she’ll have said ‘I miss you Twilight Sparkle’ she’ll have her eyes closed. I suggest doing something romantic.”
***
Celestia let out a sigh. Shining Armor had returned empty hooved except for a note that said ‘she’ll be there soon’ and a bag of gifts from the man who had saved Twilight’s life. Now she stood on a balcony overlooking her queendom and with her eyes closed said. “I miss you Twilight Sparkle.”
“I missed you too Princess.” Twilight replied unexpectedly before she gently kissed Celestia’s lips. Celestia’s eyes shot open in surprise and she was met by the newly mismatched organic and glowing blue robotic eyes of the unicorn she cared for the most.
“You’re back!” Celestia exclaimed once she’d pulled away from the kiss.
“Forever.” Twilight told her before her lips moved forward again.
“Sister, I just felt a disturbance in the for-” Luna began as she entered the balcony but she cut herself off as she saw her sister and Twilight Sparkle locked in a passionate kiss. “-oh, never mind then. I’ll just leave you two to it. Oh, and Celly? Try not to disturb the entire castle, not everypony enjoys screams of ecstasy.” Luna continued before she teleported away. Twilight and Celestia continued without even noticing that she’d been there.
“So what brought on this sudden change of heart, not that I mind in any way?” Celestia asked as they parted after taking a few seconds to catch her breath.
“Let’s just say that getting a new eye and leg changes your outlook on life. Gods I just made a pun…” Twilight said with a facehoof.
“So what do you wish to learn my student?” Celestia asked with an aroused smile.
“I was thinking that you could show me some of the positions in that one old book, you know the one with those-” Twilight began but she was interrupted as her brother burst into the room.
“Your majesty! We have a situation! Ponyville is under attack by a hydra!” Shining exclaimed before he noticed that Twilight was back and wrapped her in a hug. “And it’s good to have you back again Twily.” Shining added.
“Thanks Shiny, now you mentioned something about a hydra attacking Ponyville?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah, it showed up around twenty minutes ago.” Shining said.
“I will deal with this situation at once!” Celestia said as her golden war armor appeared on her body.
“I’m coming too.” Twilight said determinedly.
“Don’t you want to relax? You’ve been under a lot of stress.” Celestia asked in surprise. Shining had said that she’d changed, but Celestia wasn’t expecting her to want to charge into a battle a scant few seconds after returning.
“What’s a little more violence in a day?” Twilight asked with a chuckle. “Oh, Shiny? Do you have my armor with you by any chance?” Twilight added.
“I might as well go get it.” Shining said with a sigh. He returned a few seconds later carrying Twilight’s new pack. She quickly scanned the contents, before swiftly putting on her blood and gore stained combat armor. Celestia’s eyes widened significantly. She hadn’t had a chance to look over the armor, but the amount of blood on it was extremely impressive.
“There. All dressed.” Twilight said with a sigh of relief. “You have no idea how weird it feels to not wear armor after wearing it for ten days straight.” Twilight told Celestia, who raised an eyebrow. She actually did know exactly what her student spoke of, but she didn’t know how to feel about the fact that Twilight had had enough experience in war over the course of ten days to get that attached to the feelings of comfort that armor provided.
“Well then, if you are ready then we can’t waste any more time, your friends could be in danger.” Celestia told Twilight with an internal sigh, she had the oddest feeling that there would be an adjustment period between she and Twilight before they could really understand each other again.
“Yes, let’s.”
***
“I’m jumping.” Twilight told Celestia as their sky carriage soared over Ponyville giving them a bird’s eye view of the battle below. The hydra was currently engaged in combat with her friends and Twilight would be damned before she let them get hurt.
“But Twilight, we’re still two hundred feet above the ground!” Celestia exclaimed in shock.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” Twilight told her before giving Celestia an unexpected kiss on the lips and doing a backflip off of the sky carriage.
Are you sure about this? 1 asked 2.
Of course, well… if Ethan can do this shit then so can we! Now start calculating our wind resistance and drop angle. 2 replied with a metaphorical grin.
Fine, but if we do die I’m kicking your ass. 1 said.
You realize that we’re the temporarily split personalities of the same mare, right? 2 asked.
Yes. 1 answered simply
***
Dash landed another kick to the central hydra head’s nose, but it didn’t do anything other than attract the monster’s attention and Dash was forced to dodge several heads at once.
“I don’t know how much longer we can keep this up!” Rainbow yelled to the rest of her friends, who were busy attacking the hydra’s legs while Pinkie kept on shouting something about getting up on the hydra’s back.
“Don’t fret darling, we will show this brute what it means to attack our homes!” Rarity shouted up as she dodged a bladed claw before stabbing the hydra in the foot with a thin blade, causing it to scream in rage.
“Ah really wish that Twi was her-” AJ began, but then suddenly stopped and turned her head to the side “-Am ah the only one who hears screaming?” AJ asked, the others stopped to listen, as did the hydra (mostly because the noise was more interesting than the ponies it was trying to eat). Rainbow spotted a purple shape wrapped in a cone of purple magic, plummeting head first out of the sky, and heading straight for the hydra’s back.
“Cowabunga mother fucker!” The shape screamed, and Dash’s eyes widened as she identified Twilight at the center of the cone.
***
THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA! 1 shouted mentally at 2.
THIS IS SO MUCH FUN! 2 replied
***
Twilight’s magic coated body slammed into the hydra’s back in a geyser of blood. This was followed several seconds later by an explosion of magic that shredded the hydra’s body into dozens of large, wet pieces that flew into the air before they fell to the ground with meaty slaps. The other five elements (minus Pinkie, who had wondered how long it would take their friend to get back and was mostly just happy to have her friend once more in her preferred universe) stared in amazement as the bloody mist cleared and Twilight Sparkle’s form became apparent. There was a large intake of breath from the assembled ponies as they stared at Twilight Sparkle. She was completely free of hydra blood and wearing battered looking armor, walking towards them with her one mechanical leg moving slightly ahead of her three organic ones. Her robotic eye flicked over them rapidly, and a smirk was plastered across her face.
“Hey girls, I’m back. Sup?” She asked with a wide smirk.
New Perk
Celestially tied: You’re tied to your true love, try not to die…