//------------------------------// // level one humorless // Story: Spikes Inferno // by BookWyrm //------------------------------// Spikes Inferno Level one humorless Spike Jolted up, awake...alive. "Ouch!" spike winced, his ribs where badly bruised. Spike hugged himself and looked around, what had happened? The last thing that Spike could remember was being pinned to the ground by Cerberus. "Good, Spike you are alright, you really gave us quite a fright.” Spike looked up. Sitting just a few feet away from him was Zecora. They were still in the cave. "Zecora?" spike coughed, "what happened to Cerberus?" Zecora smiled. "My bag has things meant for my brew, dried flower dust and tree branches too. I called out the dog and he came, and soon we were playing a game.". Just then Cerberus thundered up, proud as a puppy with a large branch in the left heads maw. The monster dropped the stick and sat down, patently watching Zecora, tail wagging wildly. Zecora picked up the stick in her teeth, careful to grab the end without dog slobber. With a quick twist of her neck she sent it sailing across the room. Cerberus thundered off, kicking up gravel as he went, three giant tongues lolling from its mouths. "he may be big and quite a sight," rhymed Zecora, " but his bark is much worse than his bite." Spike smiled and pulled himself together. Rarity... Discord had taken her. Spike and Zecora had given chase. Where were they now? Why was Cerberus here... Why was the guardian of Tartarus... Oh Buck... "Zecora I think I know where we are!" Spike panicked. Twilight had been to the entrance of Tartarus twice, but never gone further in then the entrance where Cerberus lived. It was said that Celestia used Tartarus as a dumping ground for evil too powerful to turn or dissuade. “I have a good idea as well, but why are we pony hell?" Zecora rhymed using the unofficial and somewhat crass nickname for Tartarus. Spike tried to think... Why would Discord be in Tartarus? Actually now that spike thought about it, why wouldn't he be? It seemed a much better place than the royal gardens, where he had originally been stored. "I don't understand," spike said pondered aloud, "why would Discord... How could Discord take Rarity? He was turned to stone by the elements of harmony, he should be powerless.". Zecora tossed the stick for Cerberus again. "Spike didn't you hear? Discord said it all quite clear"... Zecora cleared her throat, and then recited Discords riddle from memory. "My Wisdom and Hatred is a thousand years old, sealed away and locked up in a stony cold, cast into the darkest pit I was meant to stay, by my chaos goes unchecked by the light of the day, cast upon the ground I can project my own will, and now I'll take your Rarity away and soon I will kill.". Spike gawked. How did that Zebra remember all that? Spike could barely remember anything other than the very last of the riddle, let alone understand it. "But what does it mean?" spike pleaded. Zecora’s face turned grim. "Let me say it again slowly, and then perhaps you will see." "ok." spike replied clearing his mind and calming down, “ready". "My Wisdom and Hatred is a thousand years old, sealed away and locked up in a stony cold..." "Ok... So... Discord was turned to stone?". Zecora nodded and continued. "Cast into the darkest pit I was meant to stay, by my chaos goes unchecked by the light of the day." "umm..." that one was harder, " Celestia put him in the darkest pit, down here in Tartarus... But... But down here she can't keep an eye on him." Again, spike got a nod from the zebra. "Cast upon the ground I can project my own will, and now I'll take your Rarity away and soon I will..." Zecora let the poem end before the last word... It still rhymed up right. "So discord is still sealed in stone... But his shadow is doing his work for him... And now he's going -sob- he's going to KILL RARITY!" Spike was in tears now... This was bad. They needed the princess, both of them... And the guards... And the girls... And... And spike couldn't get any of them. The gateway had sealed. Oh, but wait! "Zecora so you have any paper, we could send a letter to the princess for help." "Sorry Spike" Zecora shook her head, "I never do when I hike." Well so much for that. Rarity was in trouble... It was up to them... No, it was up to him to save Rarity. "Zecora, there's no time to loose!" Spike stood up strait and began to look for an exit. “We have to save Rarity!". Zecora nodded. “you speak the truth my dragon friend, but I fear this journey won't soon end". Spike saw it. On the far end of the cavern, just passed where Cerberus now laid, gnawing at his stick, was a rounded silver archway. Zecora scooped spike up onto her back again and trotted over to the arch. Cerberus was uninterested; the stick was the first new thing for him to play with in ages. Spike and Zecora passed through the gate... Embossed upon it were the words... Level One Humorless. "Zecora? What do those words mean?". "Celestia has Tartarus split up like a zoo or a department store, relative peace it's meant to insure." “oh... So this first level is... Humorless? It's just things that aren't funny?". Spike thought was a bit ridiculous. Why lock something up just because it I wasn't funny? They were through the portal... Suddenly everything changed... Spike and Zecora came upon a village square... Stone buildings made up to look like houses where placed about. There was a city hall, a gazebo, market stalls, all made of grey stone. The sky above was dark grey. The grass was grey... No color anywhere. But there was something odd, well, odder. All around there where statues...Pony statues hundreds of them. All of them very detailed grey stone statues, all frozen I laughter, slapping their knees, bro hoofing, and pointing in the same general direction... Down the street. Spike and Zecora exchanged a look. Zecora slowly made her way down the street, spike on her back, being careful to avoid all the statues. Spike noticed fairly early that all of the statues where Pegasus... Odd. As they went, an audible sound came to their ears, the only sound in the whole town of laughing statues... A sound of trickling water. Spike and Zecora came to a junction in the road, the statues where at their thickest here, some peeking out of windows or from on top of roofs to point and laugh. Zecora had to crane her neck to see what was at the center of the pegasus statues, spike atop her head. "Oh..." Was all either of them could say. At the center of the statues was a silver basin filled with water. Sitting in the center of all that was another statue. A pony with a main that hung flat. It was a mare, sitting in the middle of all, crying. The tears that flowed from the mare statue fed the silver basin, keeping it full of water. Spike understood the name of this level now... Humorless... "such a sad place this is to be, it brings a tear to even me.". " why are they laughing at her?" spiked asked, "a little laugh is fine but she's crying." "Why not laugh at her? she's a joke," came a cruel voice. Discords shade appeared. Cast against the stone houses as a large and frightening shadow. “I love to laugh, who cares that someone else can't see the humor in their own suffering?" Spikes claws clenched into fists of rage. " Discord!" he shouted, "what have you done with Rarity!?". "Oh... She and I have been having such fun, say hi Rarity." Rarity appeared in the top window of the stone clock tower. She was banging her hooves against the glass mouthing help. Spike jumped from Zecora’s back and made a run for the tower. The shadow was quicker, as it suddenly cast its wicked self against the stone of the building. "None of that now!" he cackled. Rarity vanished from the window. The tower collapsed into a pillar of grey sand, crumbling down to the ground and tuning to smoke at spikes feet... The foundations the only thing to say it had ever been there. Spike roared to the heavens in desperation. “Oh, what's the matter wittle spiky whiky? Aren't you having fun?" Discord appeared on another building, this time near Zecora. "Let it never be said that I'm not a good sport, so I'll tell you the rules to this little game." "Game!?" spike was disgusted. "Yes game, don't worry it's easy! The rules are simple, on each level I'll present a little puzzle or challenge or something... And if you solve it, I'll let Rarity go... If you fail, no problem, all you have to do is go down another level and try again... You get six tries as there are only six levels. After that I'll give you a choice. But I hate ruining surprises so just cross that bridge if you come to it. Everyone has to play or the game is over and I win. So what do you think?". Spike looked over to Zecora, who gave a determined nod. "Ok Discord, we’re in!" "Excellent! First test! Ready?" Spike nodded. "Good... Now I won't bother with trivia, who knows what random tidbits you picked up from that twilight sparkle over the years... Oh hears an idea! King if the hill... The fountain is the hill, the mare is the flag, I think stones vs skins! Dr. Hooves reference for the win! Start in thirty seconds!" "Wait what?" spike asked, only half understanding the instructions. Discord just started counting down... "29...28...27...26..." "Spike the fountain, that is our mountain!" Zecora pushed her way to the silver fountain in the center of the statue crowd... Spike followed. "... 20...19...18...17..." Zecora and Spike climbed into the silver basin. It was a perfect ring about the size of the main room at Twilight’s house. The water was cold but only went down deep enough to pass spikes ankles. The stone mare at the center sat crying still. Zecora dug into her bag again, producing another tree branch she handed it spike. "This should help you hold your own, from attackers made of stone". Spike gulped. A town filled with stone ponies. Discord had said stones vs skins... This task may prove too much for the zebra and the baby dragon. "...5...4...3...2..." Spike held the tree branch up like a bat, ready for the stone ponies to attack. The branch was heavy, solid, an ideal club for someone spikes size... He hoped it would hold out on stone... "...1... GO!" discord shouted the last word and vanished... All was silent. Spikes eyes darted right and left... Watching for movement, but there was none. The statues remained absolutely still... Spike had been sure that they would all come to life at once and rush them... But they weren't moving at all. Spike looked over to Zecora... She was watching the Pegasus statues too, waiting for an attack... But none seemed to be coming... Spike exhaled a sigh of relief and looked back at the statues on his side... "Buck!" spike jumped a foot in the air as he turned around to see that some of the statues on his side had moved into the silver ring, and where now reaching out at spike with angered expressions upon there stone faces. Spike instinctively swings his club at the closest statue... Smashing its face in... It crumbled to the water and evaporated into nothing. Zecora turned to see spikes situation. Spike looked over to her and shouted a warning, pointing behind Zecora. Zecora spun around just in time to see her own set of pegasus statues Had crossed the fountain threshold and now stood frozen just inches away. Zecora lashed out with her for hooves smacking two of them to smoky dust. The statues had all the consistency of dirt clods. Spike kept swinging right and left smashing each statue to dust. But every time he looked away, the statues would move forward, only to freeze in place when he looked back and smashed at them all over again. Zecora quickly found that hoof boxing was the only way to fight the statues... Bucking involved turning ones back and every time Zecora tried it her hooves would only strike at air. The pegasus statues from thought the town had, at some point made their way down the street and where now standing in a tightly packed crowed around the fountain. Spike and Zecora took steps back, their eyes wide open so as to take in as many as they could with their gave... They whey where exhausted. "They move unseen and freeze when spotted, a devious creature to be plotted". Zecora panted. "Yeah... How many do you think are left?" spike asked. "I do not know, but we still have a long way to go". Zecora replied. Spike blinked... The statues advanced forward a step... He tried alternating winking one eye to the other... All the statues on the right advanced forward, then on the left, slowly encircling him as they came closer. Spike let out a battle cry and ran forward, smashing dozens. The smoky dust from each got into his eyes and burned like chili powder and ash... Spikes dragon eyes could handle it... Zecora however, was tearing up something awful as her vision was obscured. "Spike behind! I Am Blind!" Zecora warned. Spike turned to catch one of the pegasus statues inches from the stone mare. Spike ran forward and blew angry green flames at the winged beast. Spike was surprised to see not his usual lick of flames, but a full burst of powerful fire. The statue crumbled. "Zecora get as low in the water as you can!" spike shouted. Secure shrank to the water and covered he face. Spike used fireblast It was super effective! All the statues on Zecora’s side fell to dust... Spike spun left and let another blast go throwing the now flaming branch as hard as he could into the statues obliterating the rest in fiery fury... But Spike didn't notice the last statue just to his right... Outside his peripheral vision. "That's game!" The Discord Shade shouted, emerging form the dusty smoke. Spike was smiling, thinking he had won. Then he noticed the cheeky grin on the shadows face... Spike spun around, and saw a single pegasus statue, it's hoof extended, touching the crying mares mane. Zecora was still down in the water, she had not been burned by the fire, but was feeling very, very warm at the moment as she rinsed her eyes out. "Oh, so close... For a moment I thought you might win, what did you chug a thing of Lighter fluid on your way down?” Spike didn't answer he was too angry with himself, he had breathed fire, real honest to goodness dragon fire, and it still hadn't been enough to save his beloved Rarity... Why was he so useless? "No matter, you can try again in the next level. I think I'll tweak things to be more fire proof though... Or maybe I'll forget, honestly it's so hard to stay focused with such a pretty mare as Rarity around, I think I may be getting a little crush on her." Discord laughed at Spikes obvious frustration. "Don’t you touch her!" Spike shouted. "Or what? Will wittle spikey whiky punish me for making moves on his wittle cwush?” Spike cursed at Discord and spat fire at the shadow. Discord just laughed as the flames licked at his form. "Oh I love it when they get angry, it's so chaotic!" the shadow moved to the water spike was standing on, "See you at the next level." it purred as it sank into the suddenly deep looking water, and was gone. The last of the pegasus statues turned to dust. Spike threw a small tantrum as discord vanished... He felt so helpless. Zecora walked over to him and put her hoof on his shoulder, quietly telling him that everything would be alright in rhyme. ......................................................... "so how do you think we get to the next level?" spike asked after finally pulling himself together. "I am not sure, I see no silver door". Zecora replied. She was right. Everything in the stone town was blackish grey... Accept the fountain. Spike and Zecora both seemed to have the same thought as they looked over to the silver basin and the crying mare. Upon closer examination Zecora noticed letters embossed along its edge... Level Two: Mean. "this fountain seems to be the key, or more the door actually." Zecora began to look around the fountain, mumbling to herself in zebafeican. Spike, out of ideas looked at the reflection in the now calm water, the dragon fiddled absent mindedly with the neoclassic around his neck, still glowing slightly... Time slowed and reality bent. Spike watched the reflection of the crying mare. It was coloring and becoming, becoming pink! It's mane, its coat all pink... Then a cutie mark appeared three little balloons. Spike looked up to see a weeping pinky pie, her hair deflated, her face stained with tears. "Pinky?" The pink mare are jumped and looked up in surprise at spike. Her bottom lip quivered and soon she was crying again with renewed gusto. Spike looked to where Zecora had been standing... But the Zebra had vanished. Spike climbed up over the water basin and crossed over to his distressed friend. "pinky what's wrong?" spike asked, unsure of exactly what to do. Pinky looked up again saw spike and started crying more. Spike reached out to try and comfort his friend, but found his claw passed right through her like a ghost. Spike jumped back in shock for a moment... But the sight of his friend crying steeled the little dragons resolve. "Pinky, why are you crying?" spike tried again a bit firmer this time. Pinky looked up and gazed into spikes eyes. "Spike, just look at you." she said between sobs, "your life is so sad, how could I do anything but cry?" Spike was taken aback by that...what did he have to be sad about? "I... What?" "Your parents spike, you can't tell me you never thought about them". The water below began to glow with an eerie light as images began to play across it... weaving into one another, the way that thoughts flashed through the mind. Spikes mind was bombarded with images of a single dragon’s egg. "Dragons don't lay single eggs spike." pinky said, "why where you all alone?" Spikes mind filled with horrible possibilities... Had something happened to spikes family? Had Celestia eggnapped him? Had his mother thrown him away? Was there something wrong with him? Did it have something to do with spikes lack of wings? These where all things that Spike had wondered about in the past… but never all at once. Spike thought he would be sick as a knot in his stomach formed. "Now look at you, the closest thing you have to family see's you as a pet, or some kind of servant". Pinky started to cry again. Again Spikes mind filled again with horrible memories of twilight talking down to him, of being humiliated, and of being ordered around... Again and again and again! What was Spike to Twilight? Spikes vision began to blur as tears formed in his eyes... He fell to his knees in desperation, staring down at the images in the water. "But the worst part," pinky sobbed, “the worst part is that Rarity... Spike, Rarity can never love you back! Even if you save her she'll never feel that same way about you Spike! "That's...that's not..." spike was crying now, his own tears feeding the pool. Again spikes mind’s eye was flooded with images. Rarity was a fashion designer... Spike was... Spike didn't even know a servant at best. Rarity was a older, spike was just a baby by his own species standards. Now that he mentioned it, there was the most glaring issue! Rarity was a mare, a pony! Spike was a dragon the biggest meanest most horrible monsters in Equestria... Spike curled up into a little ball and cried in despair. For a moment, all was sadness... Spike was ready to give up. Everything seemed utterly useless, all was for naught. Reality came back into order. Again Spike was standing at the edge of the silver basin. Zecora was inspecting the writing, looking for some way to open the gateway. Spike realized that only a moment had passed. He took in a sudden, deep breath through his teeth, trying to forget the terrible notions that now bounced around inside his head. The sound of trickling water stopped. The mare statue had stopped crying… the fountain basin drained of all water, revealing a new gateway. “It seems the door has been reviled, best we go before its sealed.” Zecora said. “Right,” Spike said “let’s go.” Spike managed to keep his voice steady. The little dragon had a bad feeling about was to come. Despite the looming despair, Spike knew that he had to save Rarity. That was enough to press on. To be continued… ......................................................................................... Okay… I worked a bit more content into this one. The spelling should be better too. Let me know what you think. Hope you liked the Dr Who reference… the circle was humorless but I figured it best to take it with a grain of salt. -BookWyrm