//------------------------------//
// Chap 35 
// Story: Applejack's Diary 
// by Techogre 
//------------------------------//

Dear Diary,

I sure had judged Beatrix wrong.

Alex was saying the kind of stuff he usually does, blaming himself for everything under Celestia’s sun. While we all stood back and gave him his space she said a few words that seemed to calm him right down. Landsakes, I never saw Alex calm down like that before. After he seemed a little out of it, half asleep on Mac’s back with Twilight holding him up, so we let him rest. Well, afterwards she hung by me, talking low.

I told her that was a mighty fine bit of headwork she did on Alex. I swear that colt just gets so wrapped up in himself that he needs that once in a while. I was surprised when she scolded me. Kindly, but it was still a scolding.

"Sometimes, Applejack, a pony can only take so much danger, so much stress, so much fear, before they break down. It used to be called Battle Shock, from when soldiers experienced a very serious fight. Bucking and hoofing others, hoping their buddies didn’t get hurt; not even a highly trained guard-stallion can take that for a long time. In the end, some soldiers had mental breakdowns. Those experiences hurt them deep in their souls.”

“Therapists now call it ITS, Induced Trauma Syndrome, because other ponies can experience it too. It can happen after losing a loved one in a monster attack or witnessing the death of a loved one in an accident. And it can even happen without any fatalities, just something terrifying.”

“Princess Luna gave me his background, and you have to understand that it’s amazing that he’s as sane as he is. Do you know how long he’s been on the run? Sixty years. Sixty years of terror, and now he’s here. This is the safest place he’s been in a lifetime. I can only imagine what kept his mind in one piece for so long.”

“With that said, I think Alex is suffering from this, based on how he behaves. Ever notice he gets that thousand-meter stare from time to time? How he blames himself for everything? How he throws himself into dangerous situations? Classic symptoms. He may never fully recover from it, but he's strong, and has a lot of support from friends and adopted family.”

I asked her how she knew all this. She told me, “I had a gig to entertain at the training field outside of Canterlot and there was always a few colts on the edge of the crowd that looked... blank. I asked about them after the show and the doctor was kind enough to explain it to me. I made sure to treat them with extra attention and made sure to get the most cheers for them.”

I told her, in no uncertain terms, that after what she did to my brother (the monkey one, hehe) that she was as much a part of our family as anyone. She looked away, kind of sad, and said that meant the world to her.

When I first met her, I thought she was all hat and not cattle. Turns out, she’s got some cattle to go with that hat.

Signed,
Happy to have a new friend, maybe a sister

P.S. - When I saw Alex come back down, all clean and proper, with his clothes all fixed up and Elusive fussing over him like a mother hen, well, my heart did flutter. When me and Elusive were alone in Alex’s house, I gave that handsome unicorn the biggest, deepest kiss I could offer. When we stopped to catch our breath, he said he loved me. Dear Celestia those words were so sweet to me, especially from this wonderful, kind stallion. I just hope Mac warms up to him soon. I’d hate to be a bride without a best stallion.