//------------------------------// // That one phrase // Story: Jumper // by KMCA //------------------------------// Why won’t you let me see? “These are my memories, mine! You aren’t allowed to see them.” You let me see the other ones, why not these? What are you hiding from me? “I’m not hiding anything, they hurt. They are the worst moments of my life and I never want to remember them again. I’m not going to relive them just to make you happy, I don’t even know who you are.” You know who I am, I’ve seen it in your thoughts, I just need to take a quick look. “No” Please? “No!” I promise to be gentle “NO!” I bolted upright, my hands gripping the sheets in panic, the exposed portions of my body covered in sweat. Fluttershy like always was there in seconds, holding me against her as I broke down sobbing like a child. It had been this way for the last three nights. I would sleep for two or three hours before waking up screaming before breaking down crying. The worst part was that I had no memory of why, I would wake up screaming and then be hit by an unbelievable sense of shame, regret, anger and fear. It was too much to handle, a lifetime of terrible memories in a few seconds. No one could take that without breaking down. And as usual it ends with me sitting at Fluttershy’s kitchen table with a mug of green tea, staring at the table and reliving terrible memories. Fluttershy tried to draw these stories out of me the first night but I think she gave up when I told her that what I was thinking about made my leg injury look peaceful. The burning in my shoulder has been a constant pain as well, the daily nano report states that it’s fighting off an unknown biological attack. I’m not sure I like the fact that three days later it’s still not eliminated but the burning isn’t so bad now so it must be almost gone. I might have let Fluttershy talk me into removing my armor but I was still wearing my bodysuit for the moderate protection it offered me. Well all except my right forearm plate, it had about a week of power available if I just used it as medical monitoring tool. I hope it’s sooner rather than later because despite eating more than I ever have in my life I’m still losing almost three pounds of weight a day. I would inject more of my limited supply of medic nanos but they’re probably responsible for my rapid weight loss, they need raw materials to fix things just like the armor repair systems need raw materials too. “Fluttershy, I know you’re trying to keep me relaxed and off my feet but I’m going to go stir crazy here. I mean atleast let me get out of the bed.” The nanotech might not have healed my leg completely but it had at least repaired the muscle and nerves. “No, you need to stay here for another week otherwise you won’t heal right.” I groaned, a week? Might as well be a month or a year, yes I could do it but without anything more entertaining than the occasional animal coming to say hello (and Angel coming to make vague threats) or bring me food and drink. I would return the kindness by gently petting or scratching whichever animal that came to keep me company, I’m sure that the hedgehogs in particular enjoyed the attention, they were far less huffy than my own had been and definitely enjoyed being scratched in the same places, every time they left Fluttershy would show up soon after with that shy smile on her face. I had to fight the urge to scratch behind her ears several times, I refused to demean any pony by treating them like a pet. Day 4 and I’m still waking up terrified. It has to be affecting Fluttershy, she can’t be getting as much sleep as I am... not that I’m getting much more than a cat nap every few hours. I think that Fluttershy was getting close to her limit because today she brought in some reinforcements in the form of Rainbow Dash. I had just dozed off again with Fluttershy passed out on my lap (I guess she wanted to be close for when I woke up again) when there was a knock on the door. The distinct voice of Rainbow Dash called out, “Hey Fluttershy! I thought I’d come over to see if you needed any help. Alex is such a baby when he’s sick, so I figured Matt would be too.” Fluttershy perked up immediately and true to her name fluttered over to the door, she smiled at me and for the first time since I’d started jumping I knew I’d made an actual friend.  Until now, my 'friends' have just been allies of convenience, always their  convenience but now? Who knows, after all isn’t friendship magic? “You’re Matthew?” She sounded like she didn’t believe it, like I had let her down by just being me.  “Alex said you were short but really bulky, like twice his size but... You’re not much bigger than him.” I gave her a very displeased stare. “Why thank you Miss Rainbow Dash, any OTHER put downs you’d like to greet me with? Maybe insult my intelligence?” My retort was ice cold, it could probably have even been used to make the first freezer. I waved my hand, cutting off her reply. This was Rainbow Dash, blunt honesty was part of who she was, I doubted that she was being intentionally rude. “Sorry about that. I’m a little sleep deprived and I’m getting stir crazy. Fluttershy doesn’t want me walking any farther than the bathroom and back and I’m going to be stuck here for another week. As for Alex thinking I’m bigger than I am well, when you’re wearing armor that’s more than three centimeters thick in places you tend to look much bigger than you actually are.” I held my left and right forearms up side by side, the armored one looked almost twice the size of the unarmored one. “Woah, that’s huge! Not even the Royal Guard wear armor that thick, how do you even manage to move in it?” I suddenly had a goal for the day, get Rainbow Dash to make the ‘So Awesome’ face. “Here, grab a seat, I’ll tell you a bit about it.” I lowered myself painfully onto a stool at Fluttershy’s table, Dash followed suit and Fluttershy surprised us by pouring us some tea and bringing a plate of buns for us to snack on. I thanked her in a confused tone but Rainbow Dash just gave her a knowing smile, which prompted Fluttershy to squeak before flying out of the room. I just raised an eyebrow at Dash, prompting her to burst out laughing so hard that she fell to the ground. I couldn’t for the life of me get her to tell me what was so funny, I eventually gave up and went back to trying get her to say that one phrase. I kept winding her up with tidbits of what my full armor was capable of, she barely believed me when I told her that I could hear a whisper a kilometer away when I had the suit configured to listen for it, but the one that finally achieved my goal was exactly what I had expected it to be, flight. “Wait, wait, wait. YOU can FLY? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! How fast? Can you do any tricks? Can you stand on clouds? OH MY GOSH, We have GOT to have a race!!” Dash had that need for speed look and I could tell I was on the verge of getting ‘the face’ too... Time to drive it all home. “I’ve gone as fast as MACH 1.21, in a dive. MACH 1 is the speed of sound, about 1,225 kph. Is it the same here?” She nodes and I continue ”Anyway, that’s what you break when you do a Sonic Rainboom, right?” She gives me a confident smirk. “What interests me is that when a normal object breaks MACH one anything fragile like glass windows will break, yet from what I saw on the show, you don’t... I’m guessing that magic has something to do with that, probably the same thing that creates the rainboom and the rainbow contrail, am I right?” I see a side of her that I would have never guessed existed, she explains herself with physics and details about the magic behind it. To say that I was shocked was an understatement, we spent the rest of the afternoon discussing the physics of flight or rather she discussed and I struggled to keep up, I had some training but I had been rushed through my courses. I had been trained to let the armor deal with the math, but I did remember a fair bit. Fluttershy joined us several times to refresh our drinks, bring us more food or try and join the conversation but her knowledge of flight was all instinct and feel. I made it clear that as long as it worked for her I didn’t see anything wrong with it. Dash however seemed to be annoyed by the yellow pegasi’s lack of flying knowledge but she didn’t say a word against her timid friend. “You know Alex was wrong about you, you’re pretty cool. We should hang out and you can show me how you fly, I mean it won’t be as awesome as me but I mean just seeing a human fly has to be pretty cool... maybe you could lend your-” "I had to swear an oath to never let anyone else use it. Besides, I’d rather have my soul mutilated again then let him wear this armor. I take my oaths very seriously.” “You humans take your promises even more seriously than Pinkie takes her Pinkie Promises and just what the hay is it between you two? Is this some kind of human thing, because I don’t get it. It’s stupid!” She took to the air, flying right in close to my face, I hoped she wouldn’t do anything stupid. I retorted, “How much would you trust someone who’s stood over you with a weapon twice only to hide it when somepony shows up?” “Alex wouldn’t do that!” “Oh? Were you there? No? I was, so do me a favour and don’t you dare try and tell me me what I did or didn’t see!” Fluttershy stepped in between us, “Matthew, Rainbow, I’m ashamed of both of you. I shouldn’t have to tell you that there is no fighting allowed here, I made that rule for the predators that need healing. I shouldn’t have to remind you two of it.” I couldn’t help but be aware of the irony. I was, after all, an injured predator. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy,” I reached out my hand in a fist to Dash, “Peace?” Rainbow Dash looked at my fist for a moment as if deciding if I was worth it, then she tapped my fist with her hoof. I couldn’t help the sudden grin, I had just received my first brohoof with a real pony, despite my goal I’m sure I was the one to scrunch up my face and mutter... “So awesome!”