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The world was bright when Spirit shrugged himself off from the fallen tree and stretched the sores from his legs.
Sleep had overrun him in the moments before dawn and the tree had seemed as comfortable as any straw-stuffed bed he had ever slept on at the time. His muscles disagreed but he gave a lazily smile to himself.
Better a fallen tree than a river or pile of rocks. Spirit mused to himself as he unfolded his wings and tried a few short flaps. His wings were a bit stiff though they quickly loosened as he hovered himself mere inches off the ground.
“What a strange little Pegasi, you are.” His foster mother had oft said to him. She had been an Earth pony with a green coat and a long curly mane and he knew she had loved him as if he were her own. However, Spirit had never been able to feel her love nor had he been able to love her and that one little jape had stuck to him like an inkblot he could not scrub off.
Closing his eyes tight, Spirit returned down to his feet and folded his wings, letting out a breath as he chased the memories away.
He wanted to run.
The budding spring leafs blurred past him as he sprinted ever forward, barely aware of the dirt path beneath his hooves. He could not hear the wind bristling through the branches nor the soft trickle of the river that ran nearby. The sound of his own hoofbeats went silent as his eyes narrowed to where he only saw the road on the horizon and the blue sky kissing it but never touching.
For how long or how far he ran, Spirit could not tell. It could have been mere minutes or entire hours but he did not ponder on it long as the feeling of a parched body came over here without warning and his run became a near crawl.
Thankfully, he had not left the riverside and he took long gulps between panted breaths that made him wonder whether he was gasping for air or trying to submerge his head into the riverbed.
His senses slowly returned as he pulled himself back and took deep breaths, knowing he'll have a stomach crap if he moved too briskly from here on out.
He sat down on the ground and looked about himself as he waiting for his breath to slow and the runner's high to leave him.
He had never ventured out of the San Palimino Desert before and found himself in awe of the giant trunks that sprouted from the ground, the abundance of green grass, and the myriad of wildlife that went by him.
He had heard stories and tales from the other ponies back from his hometown but he had never imagined it like this. The desert was sparse and wide while these green lands were full to the brim with life.
He had seen his first song birds and found them beautiful when they were not whistling in the morning hours and even spotted a few turtles on the shores of a lake he had passed by many days ago.
Spirit knew such things must be commonplace for this part of Equestria but to him it was so brand new and fresh that he could not help but stand and stare.
It also helped him forget.
Leaving his home had been a strange decision, if one could even call it that. There had been no choice involved whether to stay or go, no nervous fretting on how to do it, or even any cold hooves.
He had simply gone up and done it as if it was as simple as taking a breath, galloping, or walking home. But he was walking away from it yet he felt nothing. Like always.
Spirit Apathy is what they called him; a Pegasus with no dreams, no love, no magic.
No spirit to speak of.
“You might as well be a cloud, Spirit.” Dust Devil had teased him more times than Spirit could count and goaded the other ponies to join in on the 'fun'.
They had never been truly mean or cruel to him but the truth of it is what made unease within him and he could not reproach them for it. He was strange and no one could understand him as there was nothing to understand. He simply was apathetic to the world and to others. Whether it scared them or angered them he had never guessed but those who had tried befriending him soon realized there was nothing there for them.
In spite, he liked the solitude. It allowed him to enjoy the peace and tranquil beauty of the world as it moved around him without distraction.
It nagged at him however: the easy smiles given to friends, the caring words exchanged freely, the rush and thrill he saw when they planned and played.
Why was he bereft of them?
It didn't matter anymore, however. He was on his own and such concerns were for those with others about them but now it was him and the wide world and that was all he'd ever need.
He began trotting forward, deeper in the forest, at a comfortable pace now that he had rested but the beautiful world past by him as his eyes did not see the road ahead but images of Dust Devil as the gray colt ran across the desert dunes as smooth as water or silk.
Dust Devil's cutie mark was a small whirlwind and told everything you needed to know about the colt: strong, quick, and tough. He was one of the few ponies from the San Palomino Desert that made the winds rise and fall as well as clear the sand banks that piled up throughout the long windy days and blocked paths or covered up entire buildings at times.
Spirit and Dust had been friends when they were young ponies up to the months following Dust's cutie mark. They both had been so excited and Dust had spent his days showing it off and showing exactly how good he was. Spirit had not received his and Dust promised him it would appear soon and they would celebrate it as well.
Spirit never received a cutie mark.
Dust became busy with new friends and Spirit knew being a blankflank would not earn him a welcome to that particular group. As the days went on, he saw less and less of Dust and each time he did his friend had adopted new ways of acting and thinking and Spirit had been scared at realizing that whatever bond he and Dust had shared was unraveling.
Thinking back, Dust had been the only one who had ever made him feel as if he could feel. He hadn't been Spirit Apathy when he was with him but when that bond severed and Dust began to tease him along everyone else and no longer showed interest in his company, Spirit knew that for a while he had known what friendship, love, and feelings were.
The memory was distant now and he could not quite know whether they all had been imagined or not.
His flank was still bare as the day he was born, Dust was gone, and Spirit was free and that was all that mattered.
He had often wondered what his cutie mark would be and figured it would be the outline of a pony to show just how empty he was but that fantasy died a long time ago.
Perhaps his cutie mark was simply blank, just like his heart, and it had been there all this time and none of these things would have happened but that was nothing but a silly dream.
A flash of red caught his eye and his mind snapped back to the present world, ripping away from his memories and into a sea of green and red.
He had stumbled upon an orchard with apple trees as far as the eye could see. He could feel the saliva swell in his mouth and gave a good kick to the nearest tree. A few shiny red apples fell to the ground and he wasted no time in biting through them.
Apples were an exotic fruit in San Palomino that had to be brought in from far but here they simply grew on trees by the bushel and he planned on indulging himself.
The apples were ripe and sweet, his mouth quickly dripping with the juice and he felt a certain energy flow right through him. He must have been starving as he lost count of how many apples he devoured and wished he had a pack to carry a few more for the road.
The first apple he ever had was shared between him and Dust when they were young colts and he treasured that memory as one of his most precious.
Dust had spotted a pony pulling a cart filled with apples, strawberries, and more colored greener than he knew existed. They had been young then and Dust had always been playfully wicked.
The gray colt became a blurred twister as he approached the cart and the winds licked at the fruits and soon began pulling them inside of itself.
The poor pony that pulled the cart ran for shelter but by the time he found refuge behind an outcropping of stone the twister had disappeared along with Dust.
They had hid out in the dunes and ate all the fruit and laughed at the expense of the poor pony. The fruits were not fresh and the sun had dried their surfaces but the middles were still moist and full of flavor.
Dust had said one day they would both eat fresh food everyday and never stop laughing. Something that day had made Spirit feel alive and gave him hope for a happy future with Dust.
But now, just like his name, all those things had turned to dust.
No... Ashes. Spirit shook his unruly white mane and continued on his way, begrudging himself for allowing himself to wallow down in memory lane.
Attempting to stay clear of his memories, Spirit began wondering where he was headed. He knew the layout of Equestria from the maps he saw in school as a young colt and he doubted on how much he should trust into his thin recollections.
The Everfree Forest should be northeast of him and to the west would be the mountain range that shielded the desert from the rest of the Equestria.
It was a strange place, he had often been told. There, flowers grew wildly, animals needed no help, and the weather changed itself.
Not the mention all the monsters that prowl there. Spirit had to admit he was curious at the prospect of finding himself in a place where he was not needed and that would live on strong without any interference.
Dust would have loved never having to work again... He frowned at himself for permitting the memories to come back but he had to admit it was natural to think of the colt just as much as it was to keep breathing without a thought.
Spirit was not quite sure, but he saw a forest looming far off in the distance and he figured it to be the edge of the Everfree Forest.
Someponies don't make it out. Ever. He told himself sternly but found no fear, cold hooves, or uncertainty is his mind. He turned and made way toward it.
The area was grassy and clear, a straight forward walk would bring him under the bows of the great looming trees. Most ponies would have avoided the place but here he was making way without a single worry to gnaw at him.
Maybe his special talent was recklessness or some sort of stubborn courage and his cutie mark would be found in that dark fog of a forest.
Spirit frowned at himself once more. He knew better than that.
He could not be brave as he could not feel fear. He could panic; fear was different however.
Spirit wondered whether he'd find peace in the solitude of the great forest and maybe he could live out his days in comfort and repose as he watched the seasons change and the world grow around him. There was beauty in that and simplicity.
However, his haunting memories would surely make quick work of whatever he'd find in the Everfree Forest and he would find himself running again toward the next thing that would entertain him or distract him from his bitter thoughts.
And then he would run again.
Spirit knew, deep down, he will never truly be able to forget Dust or the memories that made him feel like a real pony for once in his empty life.
The forest loomed closer, stretching its branches to envelop him inside, and he welcomed it.
The fog let out its tendrils to wrap around his hoofs and the light dimmed as the sun could not pierce through the thick dark leaves of the trees.
Maybe I'll find a dragon or some long forgotten ruins. Spirit smiled, forgetting his home, his emptiness, and Dust.
For now, he had run far enough.