"Hitch!" I called as I walked into the sheriff's station. "Hitch! Are you here? It's me, Misty!"
As I expected, I got no response. I shrugged. I had a feeling he wouldn't be here. It was in the middle of his shift anyway. I look at the clock on the wall. It was half an hour before his lunch. Perfect. I surprisingly got out of the Brighthouse faster than I thought I would. I thought I'd have to get past an over-eager Zipp bombarding me with questions about what happened between Sunny and me and why I was on the balcony by myself for so long last night, but surprisingly, she didn't ask a single question. It was probably mostly due to Sunny constantly keeping herself between Zipp and me like a barrier, glaring at her anytime she opened her mouth to ask me a question.
I was thankful. I didn't think I could handle her questions right now. Especially with all the questions that were going through my own head. I sat down by the entrance inside and pulled out my book.
To my relief, the book engrossed me so much, that it gave me reprieve from my overwhelming thoughts. I just couldn't seem to stop thinking about what Sunny told me about forgiveness. It kept me up all night. I wanted to forgive Opaline, but still, a small part told me that no matter what anypony said, forgiving her would be letting her off the hook. No matter how much I told myself otherwise.
And yet, I could feel the anger I had for her eating me up inside. It didn't make sense. If forgiveness was this great, amazing, freeing thing, why was it so hard? Why didn't it come easy? Why couldn't I just do it and be done with it? Why couldn't I just be like Sunny and just go to bed, forgiving anypony who wronged me? What was wrong with me?
But…at the same time…this was Opaline we're talking about. Opaline. The mare who abused, tormented me, and made me feel worthless. I was still suffering the effects of her abuse. I was still healing. So many of my wounds were still gaping open and raw, even after all these years. Why should I forgive her when I was still suffering? If forgiving her was letting go of all that, then wouldn't I have to heal first before I could forgive her? And what if I never fully healed? What if I always had some of these wounds gaping and hurting? Or was it the opposite? Was it that I couldn't heal until I forgave her?
That's why I was here. I wanted the opinion of somepony who had directly suffered from Opaline's selfishness and wrath. By getting his advice, maybe it'd help me see things better. More clearly. Maybe he'd have an actual answer for me, more so than Sunny did. Or, maybe he'd just confuse me more.
I considered leaving. I didn't want to open any sore spots for him and ruin his day. But this was something I really needed. Perhaps coming here just waiting for his lunch break was weird and stupid when I could've waited until his shift was over, but I was afraid that by then, I'd have talked myself out of it. To this day, I still don't understand why I struggle talking to ponies about deep and personal issues. Well, I know why, but even after all these years of them being supportive, open and never shooting me down anything that upset me by calling it stupid, I still struggled. It was the complete opposite of how Opaline raised me and it's not easy to rewire ten years of being told feelings are a weakness.
It's another reason why I struggled so much about whether I should forgive Opaline or not. No matter how long I live or how much I grow, a part of me, no matter how small that part is, will always be influenced by Opaline. She'll always be a part of who I am. She'll always be the most negative part of me. That voice that whispers in the back of my mind late at night telling me I'm not good enough. Her voice telling me I'm worthless and stupid, just waiting for me to be at my lowest so that when it strikes, I'll believe it like I used to.
And that was all caused by Opaline. I'll never be the filly my dad used to know ever again because of Opaline. I'll always be insecure, self-conscious, and full of anxiety because of Opaline. I've lost so many memories I used to have with Alphabittle because of Opaline. When Opaline fillynapped me, raised me, and manipulated me, she changed the course of my life forever. She changed me forever. And while some of it's good, a lot of it is bad. Had I been raised in Briddlewood, maybe I would've been friends with Izzy. Instead of just Izzy walking through the streets of Maretime Bay that fateful day she met Sunny, it'd be both me and Izzy. Why should I forgive her when I'll always feel pain my whole life from what she did to me? Why should I give forgiveness when she gave me none? Why should I give her what she denied me for so long? After everything she did to me, why should I-
"Misty? What are you doing here?" A voice asked, ripping me from my thoughts.
I jumped, looking in the direction the voice came from to see Hitch standing there in the entrance, Sparky on his back. I look at the clock and find that already, half an hour has gone by. Actually, forty-five minutes. Something must've been keeping him. I glance down at the book still floating in my magic. I had only read ten pages since I sat down and opened it. Okay, so maybe I wasn't as distracted from my thoughts as I originally believed.
I quickly stood up, floating the book over to a nearby chair, chuckling nervously as I rubbed the back of my neck. "Umm…sorry…I guess I was just…lost in my own thoughts…I umm…" I trailed off, not sure how else to continue making a fool of myself.
When it was obvious I wasn't going to say anything else, Hitch cleared his throat and began to walk over to his desk. "Oh, umm…well…I hope you weren't waiting too long. I was supposed to take my lunch now, but I'm sure whatever you need I can deal with quickly. So, what can Sheriff Hitch help you with?" He asked as he began to organize the papers on his desk.
"I umm…actually wanted to talk to you…" I trailed off, not quite sure how to start this conversation.
"Yeah, sure. What did you want to talk about?" He said, but just as he finished, Sparky blew dragon fire at a piece of paper, turning it into a piece of pizza, startling us both. I had forgotten Sparky was even there.
I love Sparky. He's a part of the family I have with my friends. But…well…what I was about to talk to Hitch about…it was private and I'm not sure if I could do it with Sparky constantly interrupting us. I knew that if I didn't get it out all at once, it wasn't coming out at all. Not to mention that talking in front of Sparky isn't like talking in front of a dog or some other pet. He's like a pony. He can listen and understand everything we're saying. Even though Sparky couldn't talk yet, I still just wanted this conversation to stay between Hitch and me. Plus, I was about to ask Hitch some very deep questions that might upset Sparky. I didn't want to ruin his day too.
"Mind if I feed Sparky while we talk. It's his feeding time and we do not want him getting cranky." Hitch said with a soft chuckle.
It was then that I realized Hitch was still in sheriff mode. I took a deep breath. "Actually…I was hoping…well when I said I wanted to talk about something, I meant that I wanted…no, needed to talk to…Hitch the friend…not…not Hitch the Sheriff…you know…?"
"Oh, perfect. That means I can take my lunch while…we…" As soon as Hitch turned around and saw me, he trailed off as something registered on his face. He was silent for a bit before he turned to his desk and picked up the phone. "You know what? I need some time off. And Zipp has been begging me for forever it seems to fill in for sheriff for a day for me. I'll just call her and tell her that today's the day. It'll be perfect anyway. I could use some time off from being a dad. I mean, if she really wants to know what it's like to be me, she can do the whole thing, which involves taking care of Sparky. Though, before we go, I would like to feed Sparky first so she doesn't have to worry about it."
I was dumbfounded. How…how did he…what made him think that this was going to take that long…why…
"B‐but…I…how…I mean, I…" I stammered, at a complete loss for words.
He dialed Zipp's number and turned back to face me. As it rang, he said, "The look on your face said it all."
I blinked. Was I really that easy to read? Ugh. No wonder why it was so easy for Opaline to manipulate me. She could read my every emotion on my face.
I shook my head. "Hitch, no. I…I don't want to take up too much of your time… I can just wait until–"
Hitch held up a hoof, silencing me as Zipp answered. I shook my head, telling him he didn't need to do this, giving him a pleading look. I knew how much he stressed about his job, taking care of Sparky and making sure both things were done correctly. I didn't want to disrupt his day nor did I want to cause him any more stress than I was about to.
But even though I knew he saw me trying to silently tell him not to do this, he flat-out ignored me. I sighed, dropping my head. This wasn't how I planned for this to go. I didn't want to disrupt his whole day.
Once he was finished talking to Zipp, he turned to me. "Alright, Zipp will be here in ten minutes. That gives me just enough time to–"
"Hitch, no." I interrupted firmly. "I can just wait until you're done with your shift. It's really not all that–"
Hitch interrupted me by walking up until he was just a mere couple of inches away. "Misty, I'm your friend and just by the look on your face, I can tell that you really need me. Friends are there for each other when they need them most. I can tell this isn't just a day-to-day discussion. I can tell you really need me. So I'm gonna be there for you, alright?" I opened my mouth to protest, but he quickly stopped me. "Nope. It's final. I already made the call. There's no going back."
I gave him a grateful smile, wishing I could tell him just how much his gesture truly meant to me, but I couldn't seem to put it into words. All I could do was whisper a broken "Thank you," my broken voice full of emotion.
"No problem, Misty. That's what friends do. If you ever need me, don't hesitate to ask. I'll be there in a heartbeat. I would for any of my friends. Hoof to heart."
"Hitch! Misty! What…what a surprise," Sunny said as Hitch and I approached Sunny's smoothie cart, looking very much surprised.
As Hitch had finished feeding Sparky, Zipp had come rushing in, a wide smile on her face. When she had seen me, I could tell she was bursting with questions, but Hitch had already anticipated that. When he was on the phone with her, he had said this was a no-questions-asked gig. If she had asked one question, she was out. I had thought it was a bit risky, but he was confident in her desire for this to override her need to ask questions over the smallest thing that was not normal. And Hitch taking the rest of the day off so he and I could talk was definitely not normal.
Sure enough, when she had come flying in, despite the questions I could see bursting in her mind, her mouth had remained closed. The only questions she had asked were related to the job and that was it. I was truly impressed by Zipp's self-control.
"Yeah," Hitch said, sighing heavily. "I could've used a break anyway."
Sunny turned to me. "Are you doing alright after…you know…" Sunny trailed off as though not sure how much she should say in front of Hitch.
"I will be. Eventually. I'm not sure when, but I know I will be." I answered with a small smile. "I just wanted to…have a talk with Hitch."
"About…what we talked about last night…?"
I nodded. "Yeah." My eyes widened as I registered what it sounded like to Sunny's ears. "Not that your advice wasn't good enough or anything. It's actually because of it that I'm talking to Hitch. I just…"
Sunny smiled. "You just wanted to talk to somepony who was closer to…the source of the subject for his advice." Her eyes flicked to Hitch before going back to me. "I get it. I'd want that too. It's easy for me to do…what we talked about because I've had years to get through it. This is still fresh and…it happened a lot longer and way more…hard to move past than what I went through. I get it. No need to be sorry or feel guilty."
Hitch looked between us. "I have a feeling I'm missing something."
Sunny and I smiled, before Sunny said, "You'll understand soon enough." She then turned back to me. "So, you want to use that apology drink Phyllis bought you?"
Before I could answer, Hitch interrupted me. "Wait wait wait. Hold up. Phyllis, as in Phyllis Cloverleaf bought Misty an apology drink? Are you sure it was an apology drink?"
Sunny chuckled. "Yeah. Crazy right? Ponies really do change."
Hitch shrugged, chuckling himself. "Yeah. I guess they do." At my confused look, Hitch quickly clarified. "When Sunny and I were foals, trying to get Phyllis to apologize for anything was like trying to pull teeth. It was painful to watch."
"Yeah, even when Phyllis got me that phone to replace the one Sprout broke, she didn't apologize. It was incredibly awkward. My father got a knock on our door, and it was when Sprout wasn't even there, and she gave it to my father telling him that it was to replace the one Sprout broke. And then she just walked away." Sunny added with a chuckle of her own.
Hitch looked at Sunny confused. "You told Misty about that? When?"
"Uh…doesn't matter," Sunny quickly said, changing the subject. "So, you want your usuals?" And, before either of us could answer, Sunny turned around and just started making the smoothies.
Hitch looked at me and I sighed. "You'll understand soon enough. It's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Phyllis giving Sunny a new phone…or the reason Phyllis had to buy you an apology drink?"
I just looked down at the ground. "Kinda."
Hitch looked confused but he just let it go. We waited for our smoothies in silence and once they were ready and Hitch tried to pay for his, Sunny said it was on the house. That he was gonna need it. Great.
Once we had our smoothies, Hitch and I chose a table that was farther than the rest of them. Once we were seated, we sat in silence for a bit. I had the perfect opener and yet I couldn't get myself to say a word. There was so much I wanted to say and ask, but it was like my mouth couldn't operate correctly.
After another couple of awkward moments passed, Hitch finally asked, "What did you want to talk about? Something about Phyllis and Sprout?"
I sighed heavily, deciding to just get straight to the point. "Did you forgive Sprout?"
Hitch looked thoroughly confused. "I'm sorry, what? I'm gonna need some context."
I looked down at my smoothie cup, playing with the straw with my magic, mixing the smoothie, moving the straw around, anything to keep me distracted from the fact that Hitch was right there. I was never the best at opening up to other ponies and this required some mega opening up.
"Sunny and I were talking last night and…she told me she forgave Sprout for what he did when you…when you tried to bring back magic but…did you?"
Hitch was silent for a moment before he spoke. "Eventually, yes. Took forever, but, yeah, I did. Why?"
I avoided his question, deciding to just plow through, and get it over with before I could back out. Though, now that I started, I know I have to finish it, even if I didn't want to. "Did…did you forgive Opaline? For everything she did to you?"
Hitch sighed, but I could see the way his body tensed up. "Misty, what is all this about?"
"Please, just answer the question." I still looked down, refusing to look up at him.
"Misty…" He stopped and I knew he was waiting for me to look up. Reluctantly, I did and his expression softened when he saw the tears welling up in my eyes. Ones I didn't want him to see. He sighed again. "Misty, I'll answer your question, but first, you have to tell me what this is all about."
I took a deep breath, bracing myself. "Yesterday, Phyllis had asked for a hundred smoothies, but she was really rude about it, knocking me over and spilling my drink, which is where the apology drink came from. But, what struck me as odd was how nice Sunny was to Phyllis after Phyllis's history with Sunny and her father. I asked her about it, and she told me she forgave them. To me, growing up, I was taught that forgiveness is really just a free pass for ponies to walk all over you and treat you however they want. And if they really wanted forgiveness, they had to earn it. But, when I told that to Sunny, she told me what forgiveness really means. She said that–"
"'Forgiveness is not reconciliation. It isn't condoning or excusing a pony's action. And it isn't a decision that makes all pain go away. It's a process that involves letting go of the anger and resentment you feel towards a pony that's harmed you. Because, if you keep hold of that anger, it'll fester and grow, taking over your life and when that anger's towards another pony, they're still harming you'. I know. She told me the same thing years ago."
I looked up at Hitch with wide eyes. "Wow. That was almost word for–"
"Word? Yeah. When I became sheriff, she made me memorize it. Said that as sheriff, I could convince the earth ponies to forgive any wrongs the unicorns and pegasi have done to them so they'd be more open to unity. Didn't work of course, but, Sunny's my best friend, and I helped with her ideas in any way I legally could as sheriff. Wasn't much, but as sheriff, my hooves were tied. It's funny though. When I had to forgive somepony for…well, then it was mostly for mistreating Sunny, I found myself mentally repeating that phrase. It'd help, a little. Still took a little time. But, what does me forgiving…" Hitch sighed before continuing. "Have to do with this whole discussion you two had?" I guess Hitch couldn't say her name aloud.
I sighed, looking back down. "Because…I have yet to forgive…forgive…" I sighed, blinking back tears. I couldn't…wouldn't bring myself to…not with the word forgive. Not out loud. It felt too much like actually doing the deed, even though I knew that wasn't true. "I would've asked Sunny, but I'm pretty sure I know what her answer would be. I…I love Sunny, and while she suffered at Opaline's hooves…"
"It's not quite as much as we have?" Hitch finished softly.
"Yeah. Not to downplay what she went through, it was still horrible but–"
"Misty, you don't need to feel guilty. It's the facts." Hitch sighed. "So, you want to know if I've forgiven…so that it can help you decide if you can even…do that?"
I nodded, relieved I didn't have to ask myself. I know him reliving all the stress Opaline put him through was incredibly difficult and I felt incredibly guilty. Almost guilty enough to say nevermind and run back to the Brighthouse and never show my face here again. But…I needed this. If I'm to continue my life happy, I need to sort this out, and while I'll never fully be ready to deal with this, I'm at a point in my life where I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
Hitch was silent for a long moment, looking at the ocean behind me. He softly closed his eyes, breathing heavily through his nose, before he finally answered. "I'd like to say I have, really I would, but…truth is…I haven't. I really haven't. She's done too much…when I try I…I can't help but see…Sparky like he was…how somepony could so…so heartlessly just…condemn him to that fate…how somepony could be so cruel…I…I can't imagine." Hitch glared at the water behind me.
My heart sank as it felt like my chest ached. More tears stung the back of my eyes, but not the same tears as before. Tears of guilt. The way Hitch explained it, I know he was talking about Opaline, but he never would've been, as Hitch said it, condemned to that fate if it weren't for me. It was my fault. I was the cruel pony who heartlessly condemned him to that fate.
"Do…do you forgive me…?"
"Of course I–" Hitch stopped when what he said seemed to sink in. He looked right at me, his eyes wide. "Misty, of course I've already forgiven you. You didn't…Misty, the difference between you and Opaline was that Opaline went in with the foreknowledge of what it would do to Sparky and continued anyway without any hesitation or guilt. And if Opaline had her way, she would've just dropped Sparky down that ledge and…"
"But…Hitch…if it weren't for me…Sparky never would've…"
"Misty, let me ask you this…with the knowledge you have now, just of what draining his dragon fire would do to him, not knowing anything else of the future, just that…would you still have dragon-napped him, knowing what it would do to him?"
"O-of course not! If I'd known how much it'd actually hurt Sparky…I never would've…I never wanted him to get hurt…I was going to return him…I just wanted my cutie mark and to make Opaline proud of me for once…"
"And that's why I've forgiven you and not Opaline. Because despite everything, even knowing what it would do to him, she'd do it again and again if it meant she'd get his power. You're a good pony, Misty. You've just made mistakes. We all have. Opaline…I can't forgive her because…because of everything she's done, it still makes me so…so angry. She endangered my town and hurt the ponies in it, the same town and ponies I swore on my life to protect, she hurt my friends and put them in danger, she hurt you for so many years, she…she hurt Sparky, my little deputy…a dragon I love like a son. What she did was ten million times worse than what Sprout could ever dream up no matter how hard he tried. I know it's been a year and a half since everything happened but…it's going to be a while until I can even think of forgiving her without my blood boiling."
I was silent. I wasn't expecting the answer I got. This was…it was so different than the answer Sunny gave. Hitch was so kind and a good pony. Not forgiving Opaline didn't change that. He was still kind and such a good pony. But still…
"I want to move on. I want to do anything I can to do that…even if it means forgiving her…she's been controlling me for as long as I can…I can remember. I…I want her hold over me gone so I can…just…move on with my life. I want this Opaline burden gone, I just…I just don't know how to…how to do that." I looked up at Hitch pleadingly. "How do I do that? I want…I need to know how to do it…please…"
Hitch was silent for a while as he stared at me, clearly contemplating something. Just yesterday morning, I was dead set on never forgiving Opaline, but little did I know that by doing that, I'd be accepting her into my life for however long I kept this grudge against her or until it consumed me. Now, twenty-four hours later, I was willing to do whatever it took to get rid of her. To heal and push her out of my life.
Finally, Hitch closed his eyes, sighing, before looking at me. "Misty, don't tell another soul what I'm about to tell you. Not even Sunny. She'd have my head if she knew I told you this but…well…you know how it took months for her to finally forgive Sprout? Did she ever tell you how she was finally able to do that?" I shook my head, intrigued, but nervous. If Sunny wanted to keep it a secret, how bad was it? Hitch sighed. "Didn't think so…" He paused before looking around to make sure nopony was listening in before continuing. "Three months after everything happened, Sunny had knocked on my door really late at night. I had opened the door, ready to chew out whoever woke me up so late but…when I did, I saw Sunny and she was shaking. I thought she was cold, but when I saw the look on her face… it was full of anger. She was shaking with pent-up anger. And it was all aimed at Sprout and what he did. She was…she was scared that if she continued like this, she'd eventually hurt Sprout. She didn't know what to do and wanted my help."
My eyes were wide in fascination as I listened. Sunny always seemed so perfect, like she was incapable of making mistakes. To hear about this side of her, was almost unsettling. "What did you do?"
"I didn't know what to do. I just knew that Sunny had to release that anger without actually hurting Sprout. Or being anywhere around him. So…I took her to the first place I thought of. Where her lighthouse used to be. The Brighthouse hadn't finished construction, so nopony was actually living in it. Sunny and Izzy were renting a small house until it was finished and Zipp and Pipp were staying in Zephyr Heights until then. I brought her there and just told her to release it. So, she did. She spent almost three hours yelling and ranting and cursing Sprout out, even screaming at times for what he did. About what the lighthouse meant to her. How, because of him, she barely had any mementos of her father left. How much she wanted to hate him. And at the end, when her voice grew hoarse, she said the words 'I hate', but she couldn't finish them. Because she didn't hate Sprout. She couldn't bring herself to. Once she had let it all out, she was finally able to move on."
Hitch paused before looking directly at me, his eyes open and kind. "You asked for my advice, so here it is. You may not like it, but that doesn't change what it is. You can follow it or not, it's your choice, but you asked so here's my answer. Sunny was able to release her anger so openly because it was at the place she was hurt most. It was the place that caused all of her anger. If…if you went to the place where Opaline hurt you most…maybe you could…"
My eyes widened as he trailed off. I know I said I would do anything but…going back there? Back to the lair? Where I spent ten years of my life being tormented and manipulated. Back there to 'face' Opaline and give her a piece of my mind…even though I know she's gone, a part of me still fears her. It made my bones shiver just thinking about it, my heart chilling with fear.
Hitch must've understood the look on my face because he put a hoof on mine. "Misty. What's wrong? You've confronted Opaline before. What's so different about now?"
"Because then there was so much at stake. I had to step up. I had to fix my mistake. I had to do everything I could to keep Opaline from hurting anypony else. But…but now…what if I accidentally set her free? What if she's not really gone and she's just biding her time and what I say makes her so mad she lashes out and and…I'm sorry. I just can't Hitch. I just can't!"
I began to stand up to run away, back to the Brighthouse to cry into my pillow. Tears filled my eyes as I felt Hitch's crushing disappointment. I just couldn't face him. I asked for his help and when he gave it to me, I let him down. I just made a stupid fool of myself and he and I both knew it.
But before I could take two steps, Hitch had already grabbed my hoof, stopping me in my tracks. Slowly, I turned to face him and I was stunned silent by what I saw. There was no judgment. No disappointment. No irritation. Just a kind, compassionate, sympathetic look.
After a moment of us just staring at each other, Hitch finally spoke. "Misty…it's alright if you can't go there and face her now. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It just means you're a pony with emotions, just like the rest of us. It took Sunny three months before she could go back there. Take the time you need. It doesn't matter how long it takes. There's no time limit, alright? And, when you're ready, just let Sunny and me know and we'll go with you. Just shoot us a text and we'll be here. Hoof to heart. Alright?"
I smiled up at Hitch before giving him a huge hug. It startled him, but soon he wrapped his own hooves around me. I knew I wasn't ready yet, but I made a new vow right then and there. I'd do what I could to be ready and face the thing that scared me the most.
Six Months Later…
I stare at my phone, my hoof hovering over the send button, but not yet pressing it, my mind lost in thought about the past. I blink back tears, not yet sure if I can do this or not. But I know I have to. I know I'm ready. After facing that horrible version of myself and getting on that rollercoaster all on my own, I know I'm ready to face the place where Opaline hurt me most. It still isn't going to be easy, it never will be, but it's now or never.
I take a deep breath and finally send the text containing only two words. 'I'm ready'
Ten minutes later, I finally get a reply. The whole time I had been staring at the text thread, waiting for Hitch to reply, my whole body tense with trepidation. When it finally came through, my heart stopped, only to swell with warmth as I read it.
'Alright. I'll go get Sunny & we'll meet u at the Brighthouse. I'm proud of u Misty.'
I sigh as I stare down at the text with a small smile. Hitch is my friend, they all are. They're all willing to do everything they can to make me feel better. I don't know how I'll ever repay them for the kindness and friendship they've shown me.
Suddenly, I hear hoofsteps and I jump, turning around to see Zipp behind me. I chuckle nervously, trying to not act suspicious, and yet, failing. I love Zipp, but I just want to keep this between the three of us. This is insanely personal and while I know Zipp and Pipp might become my stepsisters someday, it just feels right just keeping Sunny and Hitch in the know.
"Zipp, w-what are you doing here? I-I thought you were…you know…upstairs…researching…and whatnot."
"I was," Zipp answers, narrowing her eyes. "But I just got a text from Hitch asking me to fill in. Know anything about that?"
I widen my eyes, chuckling nervously. "Nope. Why…why would I know about what Hitch is…is doing? He's across town at the station and I'm…I'm here in the Brighthouse…talking to you. So…uhh…" I chuckle nervously, mentally putting a hoof on my forehead. I really need to come up with better lies. Why couldn't I just say Hitch, Sunny, and I are doing something and leave it at that? It's not like she can follow us. She's filling in for Hitch. She just can't abandon her job. Why didn't I think of these things before I put out some crazy suspicious reply?
Zipp raises an eyebrow, making it clear she doesn't believe me.
I sigh. This is who I was when I was under Opaline. This isn't who I am anymore. "Okay, you want the truth." Zipp leans closer in anticipation. "The truth is…I'm going through a really rough patch. I have for the past six months. I'm struggling with my past with Opaline. I'm not ready to share what that is, nor do I think I ever will be. The only ponies who know are Hitch and Sunny, and they're the only ones I want to know. I know you have questions and you want answers, but I'm afraid they're answers I'm not willing to give. And…and you're just going to have to be okay with that…please." I add. Being this confident and assertive feels weird and wrong, but for the first time in my life, I can look one of my friends in the eye, stand up for myself, and not immediately think they're going to cast me out for it.
Zipp stares at me silently for a moment, looking a little speechless. Finally, though, she just smiles at me in understanding. "Well, whatever it is, it's helping you. I get it. Everypony has that thing they only want a select few they want to know. We may be best friends and future sisters-in-law, but we still don't have to know everything about each other."
I smile back at Zipp. "Thanks. It really means a lot."
"You know, you could've just told me that from the get-go. I would've just let it be and not bothered you about it so much."
I look down, rubbing my front hoof awkwardly with my other. "I was a different pony then."
Suddenly, the doors burst open and Hitch and Sunny come running in. I turn, wondering why they're in a hurry, looking between them confused. Hitch and Sunny pause, seeming out of breath.
"What is it? Is something wrong?" Zipp asks as we hurry towards the two of them.
"No…we just…" Sunny trails off as she gasps for breath.
"When I texted Zipp, I remembered she was here at the Brighthouse and I wanted to get here before she harassed you with questions." Hitch looks up between the two of us. "But…I have a feeling I don't have to worry about that anymore."
Zipp rolls her eyes. "Jeez, thanks for the character boost. I'm not a total barbarian." She pauses, looking at the three of us. When we remain silent, she just rolls her eyes again. "Whatever. I'm just going to head to the sheriff's station now so you can do whatever it is you're going to do," Zipp grumbled, turning to fly out of the Brighthouse.
I turn to Hitch and Sunny when Hitch asks, "Alright. You ready to head out in the Marestream?"
I glance at Sunny before I turn to Hitch. "Umm…Hitch…does…does Sunny know we're going to…to…"
"To Opaline's old lair to do what I did that night at my old lighthouse after it was destroyed? Yeah, Hitch told me."
Misty's eyes widened with panic. "Please don't be mad at Hitch. He was just trying to–"
"It's okay, Misty. If Hitch told anypony else, I'd be pretty upset, but…Misty, when I went through that, I was so confused, so lost, so filled with different emotions. I was lucky to have Hitch to think on his hooves and take me there. I don't know what I would've done had I not done anything. I wouldn't want anypony going through what I went through, but since you are, I want to do anything I can to help you. I know you won't judge me because…you're going through something similar. I was lucky to have Hitch, even if he had no idea what he was doing. Now you have both of us. Hoof to heart."
"Thanks, Sunny. For everything. And don't worry, your secret's safe with me. Hoof to heart." I say with a smile, hugging Sunny before we all head out in the Marestream.
I stand at the entrance of the Marestream, frozen in place as my heart races and my body shakes. I stare wide-eyed at the place that has tormented me for so long. At the place where Opaline secured my loyalty by making sure I felt so unworthy, that I truly believed nopony else would want me. By making sure I believed I was even lucky that she stood my presence enough to give me a home.
For ten years of my life, this was what this was. My home.
Tears fill my eyes, but I don't even blink them back. I can't. I'm frozen in time, still as a statue, as memories plague my mind. I can still hear her voice, even after all this time, clear as day, as though she's standing right next to me. Even when she yells, I still flinch, even though I know she's not here. I try to block them out but I can't.
Don't get attached, Misty. It's a sign of weakness…
Nothing is more important than magic…
And Misty? Don't let me down. Or else!
Don't be presumptuous, Misty. It's unbecoming…
So nice of you to come home, Misty. You've been gone so long I thought you got lost…like the time I rescued you as a filly! So kind of me to do that…
Don't 'think', you sound foolish!
Well stop, because you don't know what you're talking about!
"Misty?" Hitch calls, probably when he realized I haven't even stepped hoof outside of the Marestream yet.
I just gape at the castle, my mouth dry as a desert. I know I should say something, but my body refuses to work. Tears no longer just fill my eyes, but they stream down my face as more and more memories come back to me. Memories I haven't thought about since I left. Memories I thought were locked away, never to return to me again. Memories that only needed this place to be unlocked.
This is a failure worthy of my worst punishment yet…
Not as sorry as I am…
Tell me something about those crystals, Misty. What is taking so long?!
Suddenly, I feel a hoof on my shoulder. I jump, startled, and look around to find Sunny next to me, her hoof on my shoulder. She has a soft, warm smile on her face that only makes the tears worse. I thought I could do this. I thought I was ready. I thought I could finally leave my past where it belongs. But…now…standing here, frozen in place, with…with Opaline's words ringing through my head, I…I just can't.
I squeeze my eyes shut as though that'll stop the tears, but I might as well be crying a river. "I'm sorry, Sunny I-I can't do this! I'm so sorry I made you ponies come out here for nothing! I'm so sorry I let you ponies down! I just can't face her! I just can't!"
And with that, I run back into the Marestream, making it a whole whopping four steps before I crumble to the ground, sobbing into my hooves. I thought I was doing so well after Opaline was gone. I was moving forward. I was growing. But…maybe…this just proves I haven't grown at all. That I'm still the vulnerable young filly Opaline fillynapped and manipulated into loving her.
As I cry into my hooves, her words continue to mercilessly ring through my head…
Misty! What did you do?!
Oh? Is that what they're calling me? Better make it evil fire alicorn! Opaline Arcana!
You weak little ponies can't stop Opaline Arcana!
That was outrageous! Nopony traps Opaline!
"Misty…" I hear Hitch's voice from behind me. "Misty, you came all this way…you have to at least try…"
"I did! I did, but I can't do it! I'm so sorry I let you down! I'm so sorry I wasted your time!"
Hitch sighs. "You didn't disappoint us. But…if you want to go back…that's fine. We underst–"
"No." I hear Sunny say firmly. I didn't even know she was on the Marestream. "You're going to do this, Misty. You will!"
I sit up, glaring at Sunny. "No! I can't! I can't even step hoof outside the Marestream! I just can't." I turn back around, staring at the ground. "Can we just go home now please?"
"No." I hear Sunny walking up until she's right behind me. "You are doing this. This is part of the process. Misty, haven't you realized, this is the first true time you've actually cried over what happened once you were finally free of Opaline? You are facing this. And you aren't doing it alone."
I turn to look at Sunny to find her reaching a hoof out. I blink, not sure what she expects out of me when I can't even leave the Marestream.
"You're going to try this again, Misty. But this time, you're going to hold my hoof. Okay?"
I sit in silence for a moment, just staring at her hoof, before I finally grab it with my own. Sunny helps me up and together, we go to the entrance of the Marestream, Hitch watching us with a concerned expression. I blink back tears, trying to be strong for Sunny, but when Opaline's voice rings in my ears again, they just won't seem to stop.
Get me that dragonfire!
Sure. If they had a cutie mark…
I squeeze Sunny's hoof as though it's a lifeboat against the never-ending assault of Opaline's words. I'm so focused on blocking them out of my head with my eyes squeezed shut, trusting Sunny to guide me, I don't even notice when we leave the Marestream and walk to the castle until we're right before it. I have no idea where Hitch is. It's just me and Sunny.
Sunny doesn't say anything, just stands there, holding my hoof, as though knowing that this will go as it needs to for me to heal. I just stand there, when I realize the barrage has suddenly stopped. It isn't for long. Just a brief second, but it gives me hope.
I swallow nervously, opening my eyes as I look up at the foreboding castle, picturing Opaline right in front of me, unable to hurt me, but able to listen to every word I say. Her words continue to try and drown out mine, but, holding Sunny's hoof gives me the courage to stand strongly against them.
"Opaline, for ten years, you were the closest thing I had to family. I didn't remember my life with Alphabittle. I repressed those memories. So…for a little while at least, you…you were my hero…"
Does that look like a dragon to you, Misty?!
You ungrateful little pony!
"You found me, took me in, made me believe nopony else would ever want me. I thought I was lucky to have found you. I looked up to you. I didn't know any better. I…I wanted to be just like you…"
I see so much of the young pony I once was…
Wow, Misty. All grown up! So empathetic. So kind!
"And you knew it. You knew just how deep my admiration and love for you was because you used it against me." Tears stream down my face as I look at the castle and fake Opaline pleadingly. I had let go of Sunny's hoof, and taken a step towards her." You toyed with me just so I could do your bidding! And…I was…I was willing to do it all for you!"
Strong, determined, destined for greatness…
You used to be a good and loyal helper. You can do that again. Hmm?
"I only wanted to make you proud of me! I…I would've done anything, would've given everything, for you. The reason you were able to dangle a cutie mark in front of me was because that cutie mark was a symbol of your pride…"
What are you waiting for?! Fetch me that dragon!
I always told you…if you want your cutie mark, you have to do what I say…
"If I got that cutie mark, it'd mean I'd made you proud. It meant that you finally thought I was worthy of your love…"
But that doesn't come easy…
I can take whatever I want!
"I was willing to do anything for you! So…why?! Why was I never enough for you?!" I shout, begging for an answer I know I'd never get. "You were literally my whole world! Why couldn't I ever please you?!"
Can't you do anything right?!
Get me that dragon, Misty! Or you can kiss getting a cutie mark goodbye!
"Why couldn't you just give me the one thing I wanted?! Your love! I would've still followed you! Honest! I would've still done anything for you! I owed you my life!"
I'm preparing you, my dear. You can be so much more, I know you can…
Because I believe in you…
Well, don't just stand there. Get it OUT OF HERE!
"You took everything from me until you were all that was left. Until you were everything to me! And you treated me like DIRT!" I scream, squeezing my eyes shut and standing on my own, my front hooves spread apart, tears gushing from my eyes. "WHY?!"
So show me…Show me the strong, powerful great pony you are…
You never listen!
"WHY DID YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?!"
And you won't be enough, Misty! Not until you can prove that you're actually useful and get. That! DRAGON!
I collapse to the ground, sobbing into my hooves. I howl and wail, grieving the life I used to have, the life I could've had, and the dream that one day, perhaps I could measure up to Opaline. Finally letting go of the what ifs.
I feel somepony walk up and lay down next to me, putting their head on my own, putting a hoof around me and pulling me close. From the mane that brushes across my face, I can tell it's Sunny. This is something new. I've never had a shoulder to cry on. Sunny wasn’t a pillow or a stuffed bear. She was a pony who truly cared about me. I never understood how much it could mean until now. This brings on another flood of tears.
I feel somepony else, who I'm guessing is Hitch, place a hoof on my back. I sob into Sunny's chest. I'm hardly able to breathe through the sobs and the gasps. Then, I feel another pony lay by my head, rubbing their muzzle in comfort against the top of my forehead. I'm too emotional and busy crying to even notice and understand why I'm feeling a third pony.
Suddenly, I feel a wing softly lay itself over Sunny and me. Then a hoof slowly rests on my mane, rubbing it comfortingly. I continue to cry for what feels like hours, releasing ten years of pent-up emotions that I'd hide to keep Opaline from knowing about them and scolding me for being weak and worthless, finally able to release them in the hooves of my friends. Feeling safe that if I do this, they won't judge me, call me weak, or think any lower of me for expressing the ten years of pain I've gone through.
When my sobbing seems to have died down to hiccups and soft whimpers, I pull away from my friends and the mysterious ponies, standing up on shaking hooves. I don't look at anypony else, refusing to be deterred. They let me go, not saying a word. I walk up to the castle and the fake Opaline I envisioned in my mind.
I take a deep breath before speaking again. "Opaline, you…you broke my heart. Repeatedly. But…no matter how hard you tried, it's still beating. It's beating strong. I…I would've done, would've given everything for your love…but…now…now I know that you spent so much time in hate…you were incapable of loving anypony or thing, no matter how much they begged and pleaded for it. I…I believe there was the smallest part of you that…that, not cared, but…saw me as somepony you didn't mind having around. Somepony you'd think would be a little unfortunate if they got hurt. After all, after so many failed missions, you kept me around instead of getting rid of me and finding somepony else. You just wanted somepony to be like you. You lied to yourself for so long…you actually believed with all your heart that everything you've done, to me, to Sparky, to Equestria, was the right thing to do when it wasn't.
"I was so angry at you for everything you took from me. For stealing my life from me. But…my friends helped me realize that I'll never truly heal if I keep all this anger bottled up. A wise pony told me that forgiving somepony means letting go of the anger and resentment you have for them. So…that's what I'm doing right now. I need to move on so I can live a normal and happy life. To keep you from holding me back yet again. So…" I pause, squeezing my eyes shut before looking back up at the castle and fake Opaline with a firm look, knowing in my heart that I'm ready. "I forgive you, Opaline, for you don't know the true repercussions of what you've done. I…I forgive you so that I can move on. I forgive you. I…I loved you, and even if I don't want you to…always in my heart you'll live on. I accept that now. Perhaps one day, you can see the error of your ways and find the light. But, either way, it's time I leave you in the past and continue to my future. So…goodbye Opaline. I loved you once, and, perhaps, a small part of me still does and always will. May you find the peace you were unable to find here."
Sighing heavily, I turn around, turning my back on Opaline forever. Tears fill my eyes, and while it still hurts thinking about the past, I no longer feel the crippling resentment that'd come just from thinking about it. I smile softly to myself, feeling better than I have my whole life. My heart feels lighter than it's ever been. For the first time in my life, I truly feel free. And it's the best damn feeling I ever felt.
I look up to see not only Sunny and Hitch, but also Izzy, Zipp, and Pipp there too. I look up at them, dumbfounded, wondering how they're here.
The question must've been on my face because Hitch steps up and begins to explain. "Sunny and I had a feeling the burden you were carrying was a little too heavy for the three of us, so we brought help. We figured you'd need it."
Pipp stepped up with an honest look. "Don't worry, Hitch didn't tell us anything when he came to get us. Trust me."
Izzy bounced up next to me. "Yeah. He burst through the doors of the Brighthouse, where Pipp and I were which was odd considering the note Zipp left for us saying the three of you would be gone for a couple of hours and yet, there He was. All he told us was that you needed our help ASAPP and that you were having a super rough moment and he and Sunny weren't going to be enough. He had us scared half to death with all his vagueness."
Hitch shrugs. "Well, we had a feeling Misty needed you and it wasn't my place to tell you all what she was going through, which meant vagueness was a necessity."
But I can't get out of my mind about the note Izzy said Zipp left. I look at her confused. "Note?"
Zipp shrugged. "Yeah. I was on my way to the sheriff's station when I realized that if you weren't home with Izzy and Pipp waiting for you, they might've grown worried and gotten nosy, so I just left a note saying you three would be gone for a couple of hours and you wouldn't know when you'd be back and that everything would be alright. After you left. I didn't want to accidentally overhear anything you didn't want me to."
"So…are you okay after…whatever just happened?" Pipp asked.
"You probably put it together with what you just heard." I sigh, dropping my head.
Izzy shakes her head. "Nope! I've been working on a super duper secret project after the whole fiasco in Starlight Ridge in case we run into Allura again. I call them Cancelation Buds! They're earbuds that block out any noise whatsoever. Hitch asked me to get the three of us a pair that we could wear once we got there. When you stood in front of the castle all confident, we didn't hear a word you said. Well, except Sunny and Hitch."
I smile, my heart warming at their consideration and understanding. Never once has Opaline ever considered me when it came to anything that involved me. It was always her way or the highway.
So, with a sigh, I answer Pipp's question. "I'm not sure. I feel…free. For the first time, I truly feel free. I'm exhausted. But as for doing okay? I'm…I'm not sure. I…I think I am. In certain areas, I've never felt better. But, not okay at the same time, if that makes sense?"
Zipp waved a dismissive hoof. "Makes sense enough."
We all chuckle a bit before Sunny exclaims, "Well, how about we all go back to the Brighthouse to celebrate!" She glances at me before adding, "After a quick nap, of course."
I'm confused, looking at Sunny. "Celebrate? Celebrate what?"
"You feeling free for the first time in your life. Feeling free from Opaline."
I smile at Sunny, never more grateful to have these amazing friends than I am now. All six of us hug again before trotting back to the Marestream, Izzy saying something that makes us all laugh. Our laughs and sounds of joy and happiness echo into the setting sun as we fly off in the direction of the Brighthouse, leaving tha dark castle and all of my resentment, anger, and grief with it.
My name is Misty Brightdawn and for ten years of my life, at least what I can truly remember, I served an evil fire alicorn named Opaline. She took every opportunity to make me feel worthless, alone, and lower than dirt. For the longest time, I tried to do everything in my power to make her proud.
When I was finally free of her, I vowed I'd never forgive her, not knowing that would keep me from true freedom. However, I had friends who gave me the courage to finally see the true meaning of forgiveness, allowing me to take the steps I needed to start a beautiful future.
I am Misty Brightdawn, and I finally forgave my tormenter Opaline Arcana, finally freeing myself from her once and for all, and I've never been happier.