So, that’s my story and yours, Lyle. There are probably still a lot of unanswered questions in your mind. I bet you’re wondering why it is that I’m writing this to you or, in fact, how I can be writing this to you since I (Lyle Hartman) am you. Or you probably think that you’re trapped in my (Lyra’s) body and I’m off somewhere else.
The answer is, it was Twilight Sparkle’s idea. Twilight’s been incredibly helpful explaining the whole situation. It seems like I can’t really be forced out of a delusion, but at least it can be managed until my stress levels drop enough that it goes away on its own. I definitely owe a lot to that mare, convincing Bon Bon to go along with the plan and arranging things to help me through that first big concert the way she did.
My musical career has picked up in a big way since the Running of the Leaves Concert, so really stressful situations—and therefore, further ‘episodes’—might start happening more often now. Better safe than sorry… And besides, I feel like I owe it to Bon Bon to do everything I can to help her out dealing with the crazy mare she loves. That would be me. And by extension, you.
So please: work with Bon Bon and don’t worry about whatever stressful situation you’re dealing with. It can be tempting to throw in the towel, but Bon Bon’s an amazing pony; she’ll see you through. And don’t make it too hard on her or I’ll fight my way back to the forefront of our brain and find a way to give you two hooves to the face.
I guess I’m kind of rambling at this point so I’ll go ahead and wrap this up. Lyle, please listen to Twilight and Bon Bon; they want to help you. Me. Us. Oh, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, ha ha ha.
Crazily yours,
Lyra Heartstrings / Lyle Hartman
I looked up from the small yet sloppy script of the letter. Reading it through the green haze of this weird magic stuff was giving me a headache, anyway. The two horses in front of me looked at each other, then back at me. The purple one with the horn on her face said, “…Well?”
“Let me run this by you to see if I’ve got it right… So you say Lyle Hartman is actually a little green unicorn chick who goes off her rocker every once in a while when she gets her panties in a twist over something, right?” I drawled.
“Er… yes?” the purple one agreed.
“Great. So then explain to me why I’m the one stuck in his body!” I gestured pointedly with one of the flat little hooves that now tipped my arms. God, this was ridiculous. I could really have gone for a drink right about now.
“You mean you aren’t Lyle?” asked the other horse, a cute little broad with a sort of ice cream sundae look going for her—white body, blue and pink hair. Not bad.
“Please. That nerd? You’re looking at ‘The Stan.’ Bam.” I tried to do finger guns, but it’s a bit hard to do when you’ve been disarmed. Stupid horse body.
“The… Oh. Stanley Winkowski,” the purple one groaned. What was her name? Some sort of stripper name. Twilust? That sounded pretty close.
“So you’ve heard of me? Awesome.” I would have said more, but a little purple lizard dude skidded to a stop in front of me, green eyes shining.
“Y-y-you’re ‘The Stan?!’” the lizard exclaimed.
“Uh, yeah. Bam,” I said, a little taken aback as a piece of paper and a quill pen appeared in his hands as if by magic.
The little guy just about exploded with glee. “C-can I have your autograph?!”
“Spike…” growled Twilust… Twilight. Whatever.
“What? I may not get a chance like this again!” Spike whined.
I took this as my cue for a quick getaway. “Well anyway, I’ll see you lovelies later. Anybody know where a guy can get a good margarita around here? I—Whoops!”
A glowing field of purple energy suddenly scooped me up and held me immobile. The purple unicorn chick turned to the cute one beside her. “Well, Bon Bon?”
“All right,” the white one sighed. “You win, Twilight. We’ll try the thaumic shock therapy…”
A/N: Bwuahahahahaha…
So like I said, yes-- This is precisely what I had planned out the entire time. Frankly it was difficult to keep it going this way; some of you guys were really tempting me to play it straight with the human in Equestria thing just so I could do the story of Lyra wandering around in Lyle's body...
Alternatively, I was tempted to do an epilogue where you have what is very clearly Lyra back on Earth, thinking she's gotten better from imagining herself to be a little female unicorn pony-- i.e. Twilight and Bon Bon managed to drive Lyle into thinking that he's Lyra, and the psychiatrists on Earth did the same thing in reverse to Lyra.
But I thought this was actually a little less dark than that, although it would also have been funny to me. So I went with this.
Once again, thanks to all my pre-readers / editors: Rated-R PonyStar, SapphireStarlightPony, CaseterMK, and Little Napoleon. You guys rock.