A/N: Pre-read by Io and frieD195, edited by the latter.
It was nightfall when I left the cave, as the sun had just set over the horizon and the moon was slowly creeping across the sky. I had noticed that even when it was so dark, my eyesight was still pretty good, probably even better. I was walking, well... Trying to walk as fast as I could with this new body. I was able to walk for a while, then I'd trip on my arms and faceplant. That had happen Two ti- Whoa SHI-..
*THUMP*
...Make that three times. I groaned and rubbed my sore nose with the palm of my hand. I cursed as I pushed myself back up with my arms. Yep, I hate this body... I started walking forward again to where he had told me to go. The land around me was actually pretty... Bad, at least I got to know why they called it the Badlands. The earth was scorched, blackened and rocky from place to place. I saw a few burned trees in the distance. I hadn't seen or heard from anything living so far, except for a pair of crows who were following me. This place wasn't exactly the friendliest place on the planet when there was practically no life around. It had almost like a Fallout-esque feel to it. And you know a really good thing about Fallout?
The music.
I started whistling. Well, I could still whistle, so that's a good thing, right? ''I got spurs, that jingle jangle jingle, as I go, ridin' merrily along~'' I suddenly felt like dancing a bit, but I realize how stupid that would look when a tall, furry thing starts dancing when walking to a land of colorful ponies. Heh, that sounds something someone on LSD or something would see and freak out. ''And they sing, Oh, ain't you glad you're single'' I whistled for a bit. ''And that song ain't so very far from wrong~''
Gotta love some jazz when you're walking through an abandoned wasteland. I walked at a brisk pace, seems like I finally got the walking bit down... I was still quite a bit away from any kind of civilization. Suddenly, I got the feeling like I was really thirsty. I mean, thirsty like your throat is burning because it's so dry. I also heard my stomach grumble. That's when it hit me; I'm a vampire and I probably need living hosts to make it... Well, isn't that just grand? I groaned, how the hell am I supposed to find any source of blood where I am right now? ''Well shit.'' I mused aloud. Hooray for dying before getting to the ponies... I heard something that sounded like a long, outdrawn howl in the distance.
A low, throaty growl came from what I presumed to be me. I didn't do it, so it must have been instincts. A snarl came after that and before I could react, it felt like I was pushed away from the controls of myself and was placed in the backseat. Point is, I started running forward in an impressive speed without me actually doing anything, but I still felt the strain in my muscles. So yeah, predatory instincts... It was actually pretty pleasant, but scary at the same time when I couldn't control myself. I thought about it for a minute. If I was in, let's say uh... Ponyville. Yeah, if I was in Ponyville and got thirsty, would the instincts kick in and make me kill a pony for their blood? I sure as hell don't hope so... Unless it's Blueblood. That dick had it coming sooner or later... Or maybe some other bitchy pony.
Seems like when I spaced out, my body had reached its destination and was now hiding behind a rock. I resumed control of myself and peeked around the rock. What I saw there was two diamond dogs standing next to a hole of some kind. I guessed that it was diamond dogs, as they looked kinda like the ones in the episode. I presumed that the hole lead down to their den, and those two were the guards. The taller dog smacked the other dog, making it yelp and stop howling. That dog must have one hell of a set of lungs. ''Stop howling!'' The bigger dog grunted. The smaller one complied without saying anything. The bigger one appeared to have some weird vials with stuff in them. I wonder what it was, though...
Meh, maybe I'll find out later. For now I had to find a way for me to get some of their blood... Jolly good times, finding two dirty mutts and thinking of a way to get their blood for nourishment. Yep, totally having a great time... I decided to try and surprise them. I tried sticking my claws into the stone I was hiding behind. They glided inside like as if the stone was made of butter. I smirked and used the claws to climb onto the rock. When I was standing on top of it, the dogs didn't even notice my presence. I took a deep breath and jumped toward them.
When I landed, I crouched down and looked slowly up at them. Oh man, you should have seen their faces... The smaller one looked like it had just laid a fat one just then and there. The big one just looked at me with its jaw hanging. I stood up and stretched to my full height slowly. I didn't even have to brace myself with my arms when I was standing still. I raised my arms and grinned. Without a warning, I started flailing my arms and screamed.
I screamed.
The dogs screamed.
We all screamed in unison.
...And the small one shat itself again.
I lunged forward blindly toward the small dog and slashed my claws over it. I didn't have any experience using them like weapons. I closed my eyes and followed through with the slash, I presume I hit my mark as I heard a pained yelp and a splattering sound. I turned my head away from where the sound had come from before I opened my eyes again. I looked down at my left hand to see that the claws were dripping with what I had come there for. I lolled out my snake-tongue and licked the claws clean. It didn't taste good, nor did it taste bad. It was... Neutral. I felt some strength return to me as I turned to the other dog with a sadistic smirk.
The dog started backing away from me slowly, before it made a mad dash to the hole. I guess it didn't expect me to react just as quickly, or maybe even quicker than what it did... However, I managed to tackle it and pin it down. I liked the black vest it was wearing and the neat little vials, so I made a note not to bloody it down that bad. And yeah, I won't go into detail about what happened. It was messy though, believe me.
I winced as I pulled the vest away from the remains of the dog. It was relatively clean, just a few spots here and there. No problem. I tinkered with the vials containing the weird liquids, then glanced over to the smaller dog. A grin embraced my features. Idea! I removed two of the bigger vials of the vest and drained the contents onto the ground. I made sure not to mix them, so I dumped them at two different spots. Both of them sizzled and smoked when they hit the ground, but I ignored it and scurried over to the smaller dog. I continued to drain some of the blood into the two vials and place them back on the vest.
I grabbed the spear from the smaller dog, just in case I wouldn't be able to use my claws. Before I left them though, I couldn't resist but to do the one thing that's important in any game; looting your kill. All I got was something that looked like some kind of harness for the spear from the smaller dog and a sapphire. I got a diamond and three rubies from the bigger dog as I searched through the pockets on the vest. The gems were a decent size and in a pretty good condition as well. They must be careful with the gems they haul...
The vest was just a little too small for me, but I wasn't really bothered by it as the hunch on my back ripped through as soon as I put it on me. I decided to stomp on the throttle and get away from the den as fast as I could. Seems when after the instincts kicked in, I was able to walk and run much easier than before. I could get a decent bit away from the den until I heard a pissed off roar from where the direction I had come from. I laughed to myself as I tore away into the night again. Good thing that I continued in the direction the black metal pimp had directed me. I could still hear the calls from two crows following me.
I had been running and walking in intervals for a couple of hours now, never wavering too much in a direction other than the one he showed me. I had also been able to think through some stuff, like what I should do when I run out of blood in the vials I have. The answer was pretty easy; I would just have to hunt for some animal or other creature. Also, when I eventually get to Equestria, I will stack up on vials and try to find some kind of big game to drain. Pretty solid plan, eh? Just wait until I set it on motion...
I turned my head to the horizon to see the moon dipping behind it. My eyes widened. Vampire + Sun = Kentucky Fried Vamp, or sparkly vamp. If it's the latter, I will personally find the bastard who sent me here and strangle him. I looked around in panic for any kind of shelter, and to my own great relief, I saw what looked like the mouth of a cave. I stepped on it and I was able to dart through the mouth just as the first rays of the sun came over the distant horizon. I panted and settled to the wall a bit inside the cave, so I was sure that the sun's rays wouldn't be able to reach me at all. I sighed and placed the harness with the spear next to me and closed my eyes. What a da-er... Night.
When I opened my eyes again, I saw none other than my 'best friend' in Equestria, the one and only black metal pimp, ladies and gents! He just looked at me with a small smile. It wasn't actually sadistic or creepy... What's going on? Is a stallion with a snapback cap going to run inside the cave and get in my face, screaming that I just got punk'd?
''You survived your first night of many.'' The smile was still there. Okay, who set this up and how can I drain every single drop of their blood? ''Good.'' He leaned back to the cave wall with his hands behind his head. ''You have proven that you have what it takes to make it in this game. If you keep it up, of course...'' He grinned. There it is! The sadistic grin is back! Can't say I missed it but uh... I can recognize him better when he has it...
''Yeah, I'm gonna focus on surviving this, then I'll see if I will be able to join that little game you won't shut up about...'' I growled. He just regarded me with a raised eyebrow. I snorted and turned away from him. It's gonna take a while for him to get on a level on which I will somewhat accept him. ''Why are you here anyway? Don't you have someone else to take to this world and ridicule?'' I spat with narrowed eyes. He looked away from me and rolled his eyes.
''So far I only have one pawn, and that pawn is you, Callicantzaros. I came here because, believe it or not, I have some advice for you.'' I frowned. I dunno if his advice is something to trust... But I'll be ears for this one. I leaned back to my side of the cave and sighed.
''Go ahead, shoot.'' I added with a roll of my right hand.
He took a breath before he continued. ''I saw through my informants that you ate for the first time today. You will only have to feed once every week. Less than half of the quantity you consumed today is necessary for you to survive. One of those vials will keep you going for a week, so you have two weeks-worth of blood there. You will regain your strength after feeding, of course, but it will decrease gradually night by night. If you overexert yourself, your energy will drain much faster, causing you to need more blood to stay alive.'' He rubbed the back of his neck before he scratched his beard. ''Might want to consider conserving some of the energy you have.'' I nodded and looked out through the mouth of the cave. The light didn't burn me, so I assumed that it was direct light I couldn't handle.
And about his advice... It was actually pretty sound advice. ''Thanks.'' I smiled, he just gave me a stern nod. Wait... Did he say something about informants? I leaned forward and flashed him a toothy grin. ''Now, what did you say about some informants..?'' He continued to scratch his beard nonchalantly before he looked at me with a bored expression.
''Huginn and Muninn, of course.'' As he said that, two crows flew through the mouth of the cave and landed on either side of his shoulders. My jaw dropped. Everything was so clear now... The eyepatch... The beard...
''You... You're Odin.'' He smiled and nodded as I stuttered those words.
''It took you a while to get it. I must leave you now, enjoy your day... By the way, this cave wasn't uninhabited.'' As soon as he said that, he disappeared in a wisp of black smoke. I coughed from it and froze. Wait... Not uninhabited..?
I heard a low growl coming from deeper inside the cave, and what I saw made me feel my heart just in the back of my throat. It had red scales and a yellow stomach. Big red and yellow wings and piercing black and yellow eyes. But when I saw its fangs, I felt my manliness being vacuumed straight out of me. There, standing in the cave was a dragon who, was about two, maybe three heads taller than me. It roared and I screamed.
Oh fuck me.