//------------------------------// // Chapter 9 — Fillyfoolish // Story: It Was Just Supposed To Be Lunch // by FanOfMostEverything //------------------------------// “No, no, no, this is bad.” Sunset muttered to herself, her breathing rapid, pacing around the assembled group. Her human friends-turned-ponies took turns with varying expressions of concern and horror looking between the panicked, hornless Sunset and the chaos landscape formerly known as Ponyville. Meanwhile, the hornless, wingless Twilight and Luna looked at each other. Perhaps they were trading complex nonverbal plans intelligible only to alicorns. Perhaps they were sharing in the same helplessness as the rest of the group, hurt harder by the loss of their magical appendages than the guests who sported them only for the brief window since crossing over the portal. Whatever they were thinking, Sunset paid little attention. “No, she doesn’t have any experience with this, no, this is all my fault. Stupid Sunset, stupid Sunset.” Pinkie Pie, taking the chaos in stride, interrupted Sunset’s pacing with a boop on the snout. “You’re not stupid, Sunny Bunny. You’re smarter than I’m not!” Sunset blinked. “What?” “What?” Pinkie repeated, a blank smile shining through her lips, radiating enough warmth to poke through Sunset’s muzzle. “I’m sorry.” Sunset looked at the sky, taking note of two warring draconequus forms: one Lord of Chaos and one wandering monkey gardener. “We just need to come up with a plan to save Wallflower from the chaos she unleashed.” “And undo all the world imbalance-y things and get the ponies their wings and horns back and get us back home?” “Yeah, that too,” Sunset said. “But also Wallflower.” “Sure.” Pinkie bounced as punctuation. “Also Wally.” Princess Luna cleared her throat. “Indeed. We usually rely on alicorn magic, but with no horn, we are afraid our powers are limited.” Princess Twilight raised her hoof. “Technically, you don’t need a horn to cast spells. The horn is the conduit for the magic, but I don’t think all the chaos magic and body part swapping has cut off our mana reserves. Haycartes showed that an improvised external conduit suffices for spell casting, although as I personally learned during the Storm King’s invasion, such imperfect conduits have… trade-offs…” Twilight’s double scrunched up her muzzle. “I don’t think that’s necessary.” Luna pursed her lips. “Explain.” The foreign Twilight tapped her hoof against the ground in an idle rhythm. “Back in our world, we don’t have horns, but we can wield magic.” Sunset shook her head. “Nope, there’s always conduits. Haycartes’s Law.” A beat. “Signed in centuries ago by Princess Celestia.” Luna opened her mouth to object, but before she got a chance, Sunset peeped out, “Kidding. But take the Friendship Games, for example. Your pendant was the conduit before you gained a horn. Since Camp Everfree, you’ve used your geode as a conduit.” “I guess…” Twilight trailed off, clearly unconvinced. Her princess counterpart jumped in. “Suppose we had a suitable conduit. How would that help? There’s no conventional magic capable of vanquishing…” She gesticulated her hooves in wide circles. “This.” “Mm.” Luna hesitated. “When my sister and I fought chaos, we wielded the Elements of Harmony. Sunset, your friends here are the counterparts of our Element Bearers, and we understand you share that role in your land? Perhaps we can retrieve the Elements and then you six can bear the Elements here, in this world.” “You mean, try to trick an all-powerful magic artefact into thinking we’re somebody we ain’t?” Applejack shook her head. “Ah won’t pretend to understand this here problem, but Ah doubt that lying’s the solution.” Sunset resumed pacing. “I don’t think we need the Elements. We just need each other, our love. Assuming there’s still enough balance left for this world to be receptive to harmony magic. And assuming our love operates on the same rules in Equestria as it does back home.” She abruptly halted, finding herself next to Pinkie Pie. “Eh, one way to find out,” she muttered as she yanked Pinkie’s muzzle towards her own and planted a sloppy kiss on her friends’ lips. Pinkie giggled in reply. “You’re cute when you do that, Sunny Bunny.” Princess Twilight looked like she was ready to explode. “Sunset, you have a girlfriend! A girlfriend who is not Pinkie Pie.” Sunset darted her eyes. “Yeah, and?” She pecked Fluttershy’s nearby cheek, who smiled softly in return. “I’m doing this for her.” This answer did not appease Twilight. “What the hay are you on about?” Sunset didn’t respond, instead trotting over to Twilight’s double and exchanging a happy kiss. Both Twilights’ cheeks burned up in the aftermath, for unrelated reasons. “Sunset!” The princess exclaimed. Sunset and the counterpart Twilight pressed up against each other. “In Equestria, the Elements of Harmony are powered by friendship.” A nod. “Friendship is magic in every world.” “Ah, not quite.” Sunset raised a forehoof. “Equestria’s magic is based on friendship. Gaia’s magic is based on love. The girls and I figured this out a few monster attacks ago.” Sunset flushed as red as her mane. “Strictly, we figured it out the morning after the monster attack.” Princess Twilight rolled her eyes. “Riiight. What about when I wielded the Elements with them during the Fall Formal? That was just friendship.” Rarity snorted in a most unladylike manner. “What?” “Darling, do you truly believe your feelings for us were exclusively platonic?” Twilight furled her brow at the implied accusation. “Of course. I knew you for less than three days.” “Uh-huh,” Rarity replied in a sing-song tease. “And you don’t think we reminded you of any other mares back at home?” Twilight hesitated before she relented. “I see your point.” Sunset continued her explanation. “Usually, there’s enough latent magic that we just need some good old-fashioned gay hand-holding to ignite the harmony magic.” “Gay hand-holding?” “Yeah, kudos for figuring that one, Twi.” Sunset wanted to flash Twilight finger guns, but found she could only raise her hoof awkwardly. “You really saved our tails during the Battle of the Bands thanks to that bit of sapphism.” She clicked her tongue. “It’s good we had that ‘slumber party’.” Twilight tilted her head with a slight frown. “Sunset, I’m sorry, but I don’t have feelings for you.” “Sure you don’t.” Sunset gave a hearty, self-assured laugh. “Three defeated sirens disagree.” Twilight darted her eyes anywhere but Sunset’s. “Anyway. If hand-holding is enough, why are you kissing all your friends?” “For starters…” Sunset raised her hoof and wiggled it around, drawing attention to her lack of a hand. “Hand-holding doesn’t work here. Usually, our magic uses our world’s latent love magic to ignite. With the differing friendship magic in Equestria, we need somewhat cruder methods to start the chain reaction.” The human Twilight’s eyes popped open with intellectual wrath. “Like starting a car with jumper cables.” “Sure.” Sunset nuzzled her. “Or lighting a gas stove with a match,” Twilight added. “Hot.” Sunset smirked as her world’s Twilight squirmed in realization of their double meaning. Rarity cleared her throat. “I think we all know what we must do.” She turned towards Applejack and locked eyes. “Dearest, I love you so much.” The pair kissed. Fluttershy wandered up towards Rarity. “Um, I know I’m not dating like you two, but… um…” She trailed off into incomprehensible squeaking. Rarity batted her eyelashes. “Yes?” Fluttershy closed her eyes and forced out a rapid explanation. “I’ve kinda maybe had a huge crush on you for years and wouldn’t mind kissing you if it would help save the universe?” Rarity turned to Applejack with an inquisitive eyebrow raise. Applejack tilted her head down and grabbed her Stetson. “Don’t let me stop you, Rares.” “Very well.” Rarity approached Fluttershy and awkwardly they too shared a kiss. “I’m here too!” Rainbow Dash shouted. Applejack snorted. “Ah should hope so,” she whispered as she kissed Rainbow, while Rarity watched her girlfriend with a sultry grin. Suddenly Princess Twilight and Princess Luna jolted up. “We sense a change,” Luna remarked. “In the chaos magic?” Twilight ventured. “We don’t think so,” Luna replied. “In our visitors.” Sunset beamed. “I think that means we’re charged up. I didn’t know alicorns could sense that, neat.” She gathered the group in a straight line, hoof-to-hoof. “Pinkie, the honours?” Pinkie Pie sprinted across the line kissing lip-to-lip each of her six friends in quick succession before appending herself to the lesbian linked list. “Light ’er up!” Apparently, this satisfied their magic, as the seven humans-turned-mares radiated a brilliant glow before disappearing into a flash of white light, leaving the Equestrian natives behind. “Twilight?” “Yes, Luna?” “We do not understand humans at all.”