You have been sitting in a dark, seemingly abandoned auditorium for almost an hour now, but it was hard to tell exactly how long you were there anyway. After all, you didn’t have a watch and you weren’t sure if it was even day or night, since there were no windows and seemingly no doors in or out of this place. The only thing you could see by the faint light of the small tinted lights lining the aisles of seats leading up to the main stage was that large, heavy stage curtains that extended probably a good twenty feet into the air, were drawn closed. You wanted to get up and climb up out of the middle group of seats where you had been more-or-less comfortably sitting, but something in the back of your mind advised against that. It was if…some unforeseen portent was lurking just beyond the darkened limits of your vision, shrouded in the darkness and oddness of the entire situation.
You remember how you ended up here, though the precise chronology of everything seemed a bit jumbled when you tried to piece it all together with any precision. You were visiting your friend Twilight Sparkle, who wanted you to tell her a bit more about the culture of your homeland so she could document it all and maybe even publish a compiled anthology of your account of what life was like before moving to Equestria. After all, as you explained to Twilight, even though you could comment on the more general elements of life before the interdimensional portal took you to Equestria, very few humans from your home universe would be able to talk about what it is like to be a Hungarian (certainly something that was rare enough in the human world and even more novel in Equestria).
You told her about everything that was dear to you within the larger domain of Magyar culture, Liszt, Kossuth, and so many other things. Sometimes it felt with no other cultural outlet around, you could talk the hind leg off a camel, or maybe–under these circumstances–a pony.
Returning to your memories, with no visual or auditory stimuli to take your mind away from the silent horror of the situation, you recalled how you were on your way back home…yes it was all coming together now. You were walking home through Ponyville back to Starlight Glimmer’s house. She was kind enough to offer you a place to stay and something about her personality told you that she was somebody who could be trusted. Even if your feelings about her honesty and true nature changed after staying for her for a few days and listening to the rumors about her spread by the other ponies, it was admittedly interesting to be in a home with a layout and prairie-style stone masonry exterior. You remember, you were almost to her house but then…everything went black and now, well, here you are.
Everything seemed so foreign and dark in that empty auditorium; you weren’t even aware that Equestria, much less Ponyville, had such a large theatrical venue in the first place. But even as much as you were amazed by the size of the auditorium, you couldn’t help but be struck by just how hot it was; it felt like someone had turned up the humidity well past 100 percent, and it must have been at least 85 degrees fahrenheit in the room.
Just when you were getting settled in one of the audience seats right in front of an empty orchestra pit, the lights abruptly flashed on, nearly giving you a heart attack and sending your breathing racing for a few seconds. The surround-sound speakers blared:
“Testing, one, two, three…oh, great, I guess it’s working, awesome..”
Oh, great. You knew this voice and were–unfortunately–well-acquainted with this pony’s all too distinct vocal fry.
“Ahem! Listen, one and all! All you insignificant little ponies whose abilities simply PALE in comparison to the powers of yours truly. Take heed, for you are about to receive the most marvelous performance from none other than the Grrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie herself. Prepare to be amazed and dumbfounded by the most powerful and capable magician and stage performer in all of Equestria.”
“Why did you bring me here?” you shout out, obviously annoyed with being in this place against your will.
“Silence!” she responded with an arrogant confidence, “All questions must be saved for the end of the show, but I doubt any audience member will be able to ask questions with their jaws firmly DROPPED to the floor!”
“But…I’m the only one here,” you remark quizzically.
“That’s not important; whether one or many, Trrrrixie’s amazing skills can impress anypony!”
“Fine,” you mutter under your breath, settling back into your seat, still feeling a combination of the heat and annoyance of this stupid charade. You cross your arms, a bit ticked off at everything going on so far, glaring at the stage as the curtains dramatically sweep open to reveal Trixie standing in the center, a smug grin–so characteristic of the showpony she was–plastered across her blue, smiling face.
“Behold!” she announces, her cape billowing as if some hidden wind machine had suddenly been turned on. “The Grrrrreat and Powerful Trixie shall now astound you, mere ape mortal, with her first trick: a Surreal, Reality-Shattering Vanishing Act!” She waves her wand with a flourish, and in a single puff of purple smoke, she disappears.
You sigh audibly, not too impressed at all, waiting for the inevitable reappearance. Seconds later, Trixie reappears on the opposite side of the stage, looking far too pleased with herself. “Ta-da!” she says, spreading her hooves wide with a flourish.
“Big deal” you call out. “Twilight can teleport. I mean, like, half of the ponies in this country seem to have skills like that. From here, it looked like you just used smoke and mirrors.”
Trixie’s eyes narrow, and she flips her mane with a disgruntled huff. “Clearly, you are too simple to appreciate true artistry. Perhaps you need something more… elementary. Let me think…ah, YES! Watch as the Great and Powerful Trixie conjures a bouquet of flowers from thin air!” She waves her wand again, and with another burst of smoke, a colorful bouquet appear in her hoof.
“Flowers? Really?” you groan. “Is that really the best you’ve got? Is this your showstopper?”
Trixie’s face flushes with irritation, but she forces a smile. “Ah, but these are no ordinary flowers! Behold!” She tosses the bouquet into the air, and it explodes into a flock of brightly colored doves that flutter around the auditorium before vanishing into the rafters.
You raise an eyebrow, mildly impressed. “Okay, that was better. But I’m worried about the birds now…nevermind, I will just say that it was pretty cool”
“Of course it was!” Trixie snaps. “Now, for my next trick, I shall perform the impossible! I will read your mind!” She points a dramatic hoof at you, her eyes glinting mischievously. “Think of a number between one and ten, and Trixie will reveal it with her unparrrrrralleled magical prowess!”
“Fine,” you say, deciding to humor her a bit. You pick a number, and she stares at you intently, her horn glowing faintly.
“Is it… seven?” she asks.
“Lucky guess, that’s like the easiest-to-guess number. after all,” you reply, rolling your eyes.
Trixie’s face falls slightly, but she quickly regains her composure. “Luck has nothing to do with it! The Great and Powerful Trixie is simply that skilled. But enough of these minor feats. Prepare yourself for the grand finale, something to blow your…what are those things called you humans wear… oh, yeah, SOCKS!”
She rears up on her hind legs, her horn flickering and then glowing brightly with a sustained pink hue. “For Trixie’s final trick, she will summon a storm cloud inside this very auditorium!”
You sit up a bit straighter, genuinely curious to see if she can pull this off. This seem a little bit…let’s say “beyond” her abilities. Trixie’s horn glows brighter and brighter, and with a loud crack of thunder, a small storm cloud materializes above the stage, complete with flashing lightning and rolling thunder. It seemed real, but with how good effects were getting in the world, it was hard to tell.
“Not bad, honestly. I am impressed, and I don’t say that lightly” you admit, watching as the cloud floated above Trixie’s head.
“Not bad?” she echoes, her voice rising with indignation. “This is the pinnacle of magical prowess and ultimate skill! The Great and Powerful Trixie commands the elements themselves! She essentially controls the world, hahaha”
“Yeah, but can you get rid of it?” you challenge, smirking at her shortsightedness.
Trixie’s confident grin falters. She glances nervously at the cloud, then back at you. “Of course Trixie can! Just… uhhhh…..watch!” She waves her wand frantically, muttering under her breath. The cloud wobbles with some stubborn uncertainty, then begins to dissipate, leaving only a few drops of rain that sizzle on the stage lights.
You clap slowly, sarcastically. “Well, that was… something. Looks like you had a biiiit of a tough time there with that.”
Trixie glares at you, her cheeks red with frustration. “You clearly lack the sophistication to appreciate true talent. But no matter! The Great and Powerful Trrrrrixie has shown you magic beyond your wildest imagination!”
“Right,” you say, standing up and stretching. “Well, thanks for the show, Trixie. For your reference, I actually have a pretty wild imagination, soooo, yeah… Now, how do I get out of here?”
Trixie’s eyes widen, and she glances around as if she’s only just realized you’re trapped. “Uh… well, Trixie will… she will…”
“Yeah, thought so,” you mutter, sitting back down with a sigh. “Guess I’m stuck here a bit longer.”
Trixie fidgets nervously, then straightens up, her haughty demeanor returning. “Fear not! The Great and Powerful Trixie will find a way if she so desires, but at the moment, she is not done with you or your attention. Until then, you may continue to bask in the glory of her presence!”
You roll your eyes, settling back into your seat and sighing with vigor. This was definitely going to be a long night.