Twilight checked her map again, a holographic landscape she conjured up with her and Starlight’s combined power, and squinted.
“How could this possibly be taking so long!” She huffed, and dug her hooves into the earth out of frustration. She wasn’t normally an impatient pony, but the longer she stared at the same set of trees she had wandered into for what seemed like days, the more she was losing her patience.
Starlight, for her part, wasn’t doing much better. Even with her steadfast determination to help Twilight no matter the cost, she too could feel frustration in her bones. She peered at the map again, and both ponies took a long while to scan every detail of the magical conjuring.
“Hmm…” Twilight’s eyes were brimming with her signature curiosity, something that was a welcome surprise after her tough few months.
“I take it you’re thinking of something, Twi!” Starlight said, a tender smugness creeping over her as she mentally patted herself on the back. Perhaps her encouragement hadn’t been in vain, and they were getting somewhere with the whole “fixing Twilight” affair. Not that Twilight needed fixing…she was just a bit lost and needed some guidance. Starlight was happy to help her friend even in small ways.
As both ponies stared intently, both could feel the absolute agony of running like dogs chasing their tails. It seemed like they were galloping in circlings, despite the map’s eye for detail. Ever since Celestia and Luna retired to a quiet town in rural Equestria, the former rulers made the pilgrimage out to the cities of Equestria for only the most special of occasions. Although they both could not attend the wedding, they had sent their heartfelt congratulations, as well as some characteristic housewarming gifts for the newlyweds.
Celestia had sent over an antique sundial, a relic she wrote in the card was older than even Starswirl the bearded himself! In true Luna fashion, she had given a telescope that had once belonged to Grogar, the kind hearted brother of the infamous Tirek. No one, not even Celestia, knew how she had acquired such an item, but didn’t ask. Luna must have had plenty of gallivants across Equestria during the night, even when the two sisters were just fillies.
Regardless of her lovely musings over her mentors, Twilight was almost seething. She wanted their help, needed it, and all that was stopping her was a stupid fucking map. Why couldn’t she find Celestia and Luna’s residence? Why did the map keep leading her and Starlight into circles?
Unless…
Celestia and Luna had something to do with it.
Twilight’s mind raced with the possibilities her striking new realization brought her. Had the sisters enchanted the map? Were they hiding? Were they in danger, or did they just not want to be found?
Or, more accurately, did they not want to be found by Twilight?
No. No, that couldn’t be it, couldn’t it? There was no possible way that Celestia and Luna would be that cut off from the ponies they had been with through thick and thin.
She zapped the map with her horn even with Starlight’s protest. She wasn’t going to rely on her magic to help her get where she wanted to be. In fact, most of the journey she had completed on hoof. There was no way she was going to give up just because her magic was being unhelpful. Somehow, she knew that there was a reason her magic wasn’t able to guide her. It must have been a sign.
Was it a profound statement about Twilight’s emotional reliance on magic, or simply a mistaken spell? Either way, it wasn’t going to impede her success.
So she continued on, determined to not let the emotion boiling through her to go to waste. She grabbed a startled Starlight by the hoof, and raced towards the line of trees that dotted their view.
For what could have been many hours or just a few seconds, both ponies reached an area of Equestria not on their map, and probably not on any map. As the trees grew sparser and lighter, the leaves rustled as a salty wind picked up. Twilight could feel the breeze on her face, and it reminded her of when her mom would take her to the ocean as a young filly. She let the dirt caress her hooves and the wind ruffle her mane. Rarity would be appalled at her lack of brushing whenever she returned, but that thought faded with a glance at Starlight’s soft smile.
She looked even more at peace than Twilight as they both carried on, trees brushing their sides and soft grass petering out of the dirt they had been crossing for so long. The breeze picked up even more, and eventually what came into view was something so stunning that both ponies were left breathless.
A stunning, almost blinding lake was before them, with trees dotting along the shoreline like ants. The cliff edge they were standing on was a few hundred feet up, and below them was a rocky beach. It was all so gorgeous, and all so…familiar.
Twilight’s stomach churned at the site and she resisted the urge to vomit. It couldn’t be… could it? She looked down again, half expecting the water to be a crimson red and hear the voices of shouting paramedics, but nothing had changed. In the logical part of her brain that was currently screaming at her, she knew this wasn’t the place of her nightmares. It simply wasn’t possible. They were too far South and it was far too warm. She wanted to turn back, to scream and hide in the brush forever, but she couldn’t. Somewhere far deeper than where her intellect could reach, she knew she had come here for a reason. She couldn’t change the past, but she could shape the future. That’s what she was counting on.
A smile almost reached her face as she surveyed the lake once more. There were no waterfalls, no crashing waves, and certainly no jagged rocks. She trotted back to the edge and peered over, motioning Starlight joining her. It was almost the perfect view, until she noticed something that made her heart stop.
There was a tiny pebble right where Starlight was trotting over too. As her friend came over, time seemed to stretch out for an unbearable amount of seconds, and just like that, Starlight fell over the ledge,
Twilight’s heart seemed to beat out of her chest as her hooves raced into action. She grabbed Starlight just as she fell over, but the force was too much to bear. Starlight screamed as she did her best to hold on, but both ponies could see that her grip was failing.
A scene flashed through her mind. It was when she had first come to Ponyville, when she had ventured into the Everfree Forest to stop Nightmare Moon. There had been a point when all that was between her and certain death was the honesty of her friend Applejack’s words. Applejack had told her to let go of the cliff face she had been gripping onto. She thought her new friend was insane when she suggested that Twilight plummet down the edge.
“I’m telling you the honest truth, Twilight.” She had said, and the look in her big green eyes was unmistakably sincere. Twilight trusted her, and she let go. After a few seconds of flailing terror, she was gently guided to the ground by Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Applejack’s radical act of honesty had saved her life, and she wondered what her friendships would be like had she not trusted in the goodness of her fellow ponies. She was in Applejack’s position now, and she had to help Starlight. Both ponies were barely gripping onto each other, and Twilight’s wings seemed locked in place out of fear. Her hooves couldn’t hold on much longer, and she took a second to gaze in Starlight’s eyes, frantic and filled with tears.
She closed her eyes again, and made a silent wish. She didn’t know what she was wishing for specifically, but she wanted things to just be alright. They didn’t have to be amazing or perfect or even good at all. Just alright, just okay. She breathed in and out for a few seconds and guided Starlight to do the same, trying to calm down the air of panic that lay between them both. Twilight looked at Starlight, and up at the morning sky. She gazed at the vivid green trees and the sparkling lake. She listened to the rustling leaves and the gentle serenades of the songbirds. She looked back at Starlight for what she hoped wasn’t the last time.
“Let go.” Her voice was firm but commanding.
“WHAT?!?!” Starlight looked like she was somewhere in the blurry bounds between laughter and a fit of crying. “No way Twilight, no way! I can’t! I’ll die!” Her voice was getting hoarse from the stress.
If there was some kind of cosmic joke that had been played on her for the past few months, the universe was currently apologizing to Twilight with its guidance. She knew Starlight would be safe. She didn’t know why, or how, but she knew Starlight had to let go, and that would save her. For some reason, she looked at the lake’s shimmery surface and knew it was safe. The way the sunlight reflected off the water made everything else fade out for a second, and Twilight found almost the presence of Celestia in this random neck of the woods. Was this place where she was meant to be all along? Did the map send her in circles and because she needed to follow her heart to find it? Was “letting go” about more than the cliff face?
The answers to those questions did not arise as the thoughts percolated in her mind. But somewhere between her visions of the future and her mind full of memories, in a place where her soul met her body, she knew everything would be right in the world.
“Starlight, let go.” She said, the calm in her voice guarding her aching heart.
“Twilight…I can’t!” Starlight was a complete mess. Salty tears streamed down her face, joining the iridescent water below. Her hooves were growing paler as her grip was loosening. The sandy cliff face was awash with her sweat as she hopelessly tried to cling on, fresh sobs coming from both ponies, for different reasons.
Starlight looked straight into Twilight’s eyes, and the two shared a gaze as soft as freshly fallen snow. Almost imperceptibly, Twilight’s expression helped Starlight’s nerves just so, and the panicked pony was a bit more keen to listen.
Twilight spoke for what she knew wouldn’t be the last time.
“Starlight, let go.”
And she did.
Starlight screamed for all the heavens to hear as she plummeted down, the trip going by in such a whir that she didn’t even think to use her horn. With her eyes shut impossibly tight, she waited for the cold hand of water to grip her until she stopped breathing. She waited, and waited, and waited. It seemed like it could have been full minutes in the air, but no such water came to kill her.
I must be already dead, she thought. An odd sort of peace came over her, as if all of her earthly troubles had faded like a mid-winter dusk. She slowly opened her eyes, surprised but spirited that she still had a pony from what she presumed to be the afterlife. She remembered that she could finally settle a debt with Twilight about what happens after death, but then she remembered that Twilight couldn’t be here to give her the bits she was owed.
When her vision was now longer blurry, she gazed at her surroundings, or rather her lack of surroundings. All she could see was an endless sky, a rich blue and green hue that seemed to go on forever in every direction. She didn’t seem to be falling, but she wasn’t standing either, because there was no floor. She resigned herself to the idea that the afterlife isn’t a place exactly, but a non-place. A place that is nothing and everything all at once. What seemed to be stars twinkled in her view, and it reminded her of the pony she would miss most, the pony that had taught her the value of friendship. She hoped Twilight would be here soon, a selfish desire that the seemingly immortal princess would abandon her earthly obligations to live in this place that was eons and dimensions away from anything at all. She let herself marinate in that daydream before two familiar figures appeared in the distance.
Celestia and Luna.
Both those ponies weren’t dead like she was. They couldn’t be?
Unless…Starlight wasn’t dead. But if she wasn’t dead, then where in the Tartarus was she?
As if to answer her internal monologue’s burning question, Celestia and Luna came right up in front of her and the former began to speak.
“Hello Starlight, it’s a pleasure to see you here.”
“I…what?!?” She sputtered out, still too stunned to speak.
The Princesses smiled warmly, and their manes flowed in a manner that all the haircare products in the world couldn’t replicate. They gave a quick glance to each other, and Starlight saw Luna give an almost imperceptible nod to her older sister.
Celestia stepped forward, or rather floated, in Starlight’s understanding of the place she had found herself in, which was really no place at all.
“I take it you’ve been traveling with Twilight to seek out our help, is that correct?” Celestia looked to Starlight for confirmation, although Starlight had a hunch that the sisters already knew the answer. She managed to find her voice and gave a quick yes.
“Wonderful, Starlight. It’s been an absolute joy to see how you’ve grown, both as a pony and student since you joined Twilight’s cohort all those years ago.” Celestia’s regal voice was not as intimidating as Starlight remembered from past meetings, rather it was as soft and comforting as a cup of hot cocoa on Hearts Warming Eve.
Starlight blushed at the kind compliment. “Thank you, Princess.” She found herself becoming shy at the thought of the two sisters–arguably the most iconic ponies in Equestria–being proud of her. She enslaved an entire village to rectify a trauma from her youth, and then traveled into the past just to get back at Twilight. And now Twilight was one of her closest friends, and her mentors had, in some way, become Starlight’s mentors too. It was a lot to take in, not to mention the unbearable amount of questions she had about her current state.
“Um, Celestia, Luna….where are we, exactly? I’m well versed in the magic of alternate universes”-she cringed at the untimely reference to her past–”but I have never been in a place like this.” She finished, her voice becoming a bit meek. So much for being comfortable in the presence of royalty.
It was Luna’s turn to speak, and the pony’s dark blue mane was gently swept out of her face so she could look Starlight right in the eye. Compared to her sister, Luna was a lot more blunt with her words.
“We’re dying, Starlight.”
All of Starlight’s thoughts seemed to vanish at that one sentence. Her eyes became blurry again, and she raised a hoof to her own face. She must be having a nightmare. Pretty soon she would wake up in the comfort of her own bed at Twilight’s Ponyville residence, and she would go back to her job as principal to the School of Friendship.
But as she opened her eyes after squeezing them shut for what seemed like hours, she was yet again face to face with the pony that had uttered the most devastating news of her life.
“I’m sorry, what do you mean? You guys can’t die? Alicorns don’t die…right? Right?”
Luna gave no answer, and Starlight glanced at her elder sister, who’s eyes were shiny but without tears of her own.
“Alicorns don’t die, Luna! Alicorns don’t die…they can’t die…” her voice trailed off when it became clear they weren’t joking around.
“I’m sorry, Starlight,” Celestia joined her sister in front of Starlight, and an uneasy silence fell over Starlight as she let Celestia continue. She wanted to speak up, to scream in their faces and tell them they were wrong. She wanted to get out of this place and go somewhere that was real, and help Twilight deal with her problems with the rest of her friends. But she felt compelled to stay, to hear out the voices of the two sisters.
Celestia breathed out deeply. Clearly it was a difficult topic for her as well. “Alicorns can die. We can die. Magic has its way of helping us, but time is still only time. And ours has come.” Her vibrant mane was more bright than ever, and Starlight noticed just how relaxed and at peace the two ponies seemed. Not that they weren’t always regal and composed–royal etiquette and all–but this serenity that had overtook them seemed realer by the second. There was no doubt in Starlight’s mind that they were speaking the absolute truth, no matter how much her mind begged her to not believe them.
Starlight followed their example and took a deep breath out before speaking: “So, you’re dying.”
“That is correct, Starlight. We are, in fact, on our way out of this thing we call life.” Luna’s voice had a tinge of humor in it, and Starlight was happy to see that the princess’s trademark personability was shining through.
Celestia continued. “For the past few moons or so, we’ve been given signs that our time on this mortal realm is coming to a close. We’re old, Starlight, older than anypony in Equestria. And we love life. It’s just time to say goodbye to it.”
Although neither of the two sisters seemed fazed by their impending deaths, Starlight still was. She could feel hot tears start to trickle down her face as she was faced with the news. But she still had one question to get off her chest.
“If you’re dying, then…am I dying too?”
They were in the same weird place, after all, and Starlight wanted to make sure she knew the fine print of what the sisters were saying. If her theory was right, this place that they were in must have been some kind of limbo, some kind of place between life and death. She ended up here because she let go off of a cliff, and the two sisters were here because….they were dying.
She didn’t even like to think about it that way, and quickly refocused on her own predicament to avoid the trappings of her mounting grief.
Celestia gave a quiet laugh. “Heavens no, Starlight! We didn’t bring you here because you’re dying, we brought you here because we wanted to talk to you! Why do you think Twilight told you to let go?”
Starlight was taken aback, and her mind feared the worst. “Did you cast a spell on Twilight, Celestia? Isn’t that, like, against pony ethics or something?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing!
“For the love of Celestia, Starlight, no!” Luna was almost doubled over in laughter at Starlight’s umbrange. “There was nothing nefarious going on. We just needed to see you, and the elements knew that. It’s as simple as that. No mind-control, or parasites, or whatever crazy conspiracies those young ponies are into these days!”
Starlight began to laugh too, both out of her own ignorance and because of the sheer absurdity of her situation. Here she was, talking to two dying princesses in a place that couldn’t even be considered a place, and she had just fallen off of a cliff. Crazy times, but it was nothing compared to some of the chaos that often befallen her and her friends in Equestria. There was a big ponderance that was still lurking however.
“Does Twilight know? Are you going to tell her?” She asked.
The two princesses sighed, and Celestia’s voice wavered ever so slightly as she spoke. “Honestly, telling Twilight is going to be the hardest conversation of my entire life…I know we will tell her when the time is right, but that time is not today.”
Luna piped up and finished Celestia’s thought. “Starlight, we need you to keep a secret.”
It felt Starlight was being punched in the gut for the millionth time that day. She just stared, month agape and eyes wide. Keeping a secret from anypony was hard enough, but Twilight? That sounded impossible.
“Why? Why are you doing this, Celestia and Luna? Why have you entrusted me? Why? Why? Why?” She couldn’t hold it in anymore, and loud, embarrassing sobs racked through her body as the weight of the entire world seemed to crush her.
“Because we need you to help Twilight through this difficult time in her career, and she needs to work on herself before we can truly depart. If she learns this news before she is ready to, then she will never be the ruler Equestria needs her to be.” Celestia’s voice, which was once as comforting as a warm blanket now felt like a stake right through the heart. The princesses were kind but incredibly firm in their insistence that Starlight keep this news from one of her dearest friends.
“But why tell me at all? Why tell anypony if you can’t share it with the one that deserves to hear it most?”
“Because you need to help her, that’s why!” Luna said.
“How would keeping a secret from her possibly help her? Why couldn’t you just ask me straightaway to help her?” Starlight yelled back.
Starlight’s voice seemed to echo right back at her, even though there were no walls surrounding her. She started to feel a bit bad for yelling in the faces of such important ponies, but her simmering frustration absolved her guilt immediately.
Celestia put a hoof on Starlight’s shoulder, a touch that both calmed her and reminded her that the two sisters were still real, even if they were…dying. “I know this isn’t easy, Starlight, and we wouldn’t have trusted you with this if we didn’t think you could handle it. Frankly, we didn’t want to have to break such news to you, but there’s just no other way to convey how much we need your help. This situation is dire, Starlight, and if Twilight doesn’t fix her problems soon, it will become much worse.” She paused, and Starlight could have heard a pin drop, if there was any floor at all.
“We won’t be around to help her much longer. It’s that urgent.”
Starlight may not have understood their reasoning exactly, but she would take this burden for as long as she could if it meant helping the princesses.
“I understand.” She said firmly.
Both Celestia and Luna gave their nods of approval, and a small smile even graced the face of the ever-stoic Princess Luna.
“Thank you, Starlight,” said Luna. “Look out for Twilight, okay? We fear there are forces working against her at this very moment. Time is of the essence, and we won’t keep you any longer.”
Starlight took that as her cue to go back to the real world. But how could she go back?
“Um, how do I get out of here exactly? Do I have to get resurrected or something?” She said nervously.
Celestia chuckled softly. “Of course not, dear! You’ll come back to Equestria soon enough.” Both sisters waved, and it occurred to Starlight that this was likely the last time she would ever see them, right in this strange place that wasn’t anywhere at all, and had to say her goodbyes in the waiting room between life and death.
“Goodbye Celestia, goodbye Luna.” She couldn’t help but shed a few tears as a blinding light started to envelop her. She could feel herself coming back to the normal world. Her last site in that other realm were the blurry outlines of two sisters, as regal and calm as she had ever seen them. And that was saying a lot, of course.
Her tranquility was interrupted as the screams of Twilight came into focus. Her friend was laying over her, pumping air back into her lungs. She had apparently missed the rocky beach, which was relief for any injuries that could have been caused on those slippery rocks. She started to cough almost uncontrollably, and sat up.
“Starlight! I’m so glad you’re okay!” Twilight, for all her royal dignity and rationale, was still coming out of her “freak out” phase. Her eyes seemed red from crying, and her mane was mused, likely from her panicky wind-swept flight down to the lake.
“Well, I’m not dead, if that’s what you’re referring to. How long was I out?”
“You know, Starlight, it was the strangest thing! I expected so much worse when I pulled you out of the water. You had been down in the lake for a few minutes before I found you! But it looks like you never even got wet, aside from the coughing, of course!”
Starlight could practically see the gears turning in Twilight’s head. Did Twilight know this wasn’t a normal lake? Did she know that Starlight had just been meeting with Celestia and Luna?
Whatever the case was, Twilight had her reasons for telling Starlight to let go. Perhaps it was the elements that had given her the clearance to make that decision, as Celestia had said. Magic worked in funny ways. It was something that everyone was taught as a young filly, but Starlight now believed it with all her heart. There was definitely a reason that the Cutie Map had sent her on this mission with Twilight.
“We should probably get you checked out at a clinic, Starlight. You can never be too safe!” Twilight said, a bit of her cheerfulness returning.
“Yeah, that sounds great, Twilight!” Starlight said.
The only problem was, they had no clue where they were, so Twilight conjured up the map again, which was conspicuously back to normal. The temporary “residence”(if anypony could call it that) of Celestia and Luna made no indication of its presence just a few trots away. Both ponies scanned the map until Twilight’s eyes brightened at the site of big bold letters on the map.
“TROTTINGHAM”
Now Starlight couldn’t hold in her gasp. “Trottingham isn’t that far away, if we just fly to the train station a few hours from here! I’ve always wanted to visit there! They have cobblestone streets and old-timey Victorian architecture straight out of a movie!”
Twilight couldn’t resist Starlight’s infectious excitement, and started squealing too. Although she had made plenty of visits to the region for Royal business, she had never gone there on a whim. Of course, this whim involved going to a clinic and probably getting some egregiously overpriced pastries, but an adventure was an adventure. After their little detour, it would be back to finding Celestia and Luna and getting advice.
“Actually, a ton of movies have already been filmed there! The film franchises Harry Trotter and Shadow Spade have been filmed around those parts! My personal favorite was always The Mare Who Loved Me, if I’m being honest.”
As Twilight continued to rant about Equestrian cinema, Starlight couldn’t help but feel her heart swell. The Twilight that she loved and certainly missed was coming back, bit by bit. She didn’t know how she was going to deal with the secret she was supposed to keep, but she would have to manage. She also didn’t know how exactly she was going to help Twilight, either. But all worries could be addressed in due time.
For now, they had a train to fly to.