//------------------------------//
// Chapter Sixteen: FOOD 
// Story: A Tail of Two Ponies 
// by Lilyheart 
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🥜
After entering the main hall of the castle, we found the three unicorns sitting around the table, having what appeared to be a tea party. Great.
Lilyheart wildly waved a hoof at me. “They haff scones made from Sweef Apple Acres! They’re the besh apples Iff effer tasted! I don’t efen mormally like apples cooked!” Crumbs flew out of her mouth as she talked, and there was a small dollop of pink frosting on her nose.
“I also brought out some leftover muffins once I heard how long it’s been since you two ate,” said Starlight.
Some muffins was an understatement. At the center of the table was a three tiered plate, filled with muffins of various colors. Though, many of them, with their generous toppings of frosting, seemed more fitting to place in the cupcake range. Besides these was a pink and purple teapot on a plate with the aforementioned scones, and placed around the table were dainty little teacups and plates. It seemed a breakfast designed by a kindergartener.
“Are these muffins? Or cupcakes?” I asked as I took a seat at the closest chair.
“Honestly,” answered Starlight, “I’m not really sure what the difference is. Stallamon Tea?”
“I wouldn’t be able to drink from the cup,” I answered dismally, looking at the hooves currently attached to my soul. “But I am very hungry and thirsty.”
“Don’t worry about it,” said Lilyheart with a swallow. “They know we can’t use our magic yet. Or hooves.”
“Just ask what you want, and I’ll move it over to you,” added Sunset. “I’m still practicing, anyway.”
First, a breakfast a kindergartener would eat, and now I have to eat like one. Great.
“Could you please give me one of the muffins?”
“Which one?”
“It doesn’t matter, just one without frosting,” I answered.
A yellow muffin hovered towards me. I looked at the mares sitting around me. Lilyheart was already devouring another cupcake, Sunset nibbling on some scones next to her with a smirk. Trixie took a seat next to Starlight and the two began chatting about weather pegasi. Which meant that no one was watching me embarrass myself by eating like… Lilyheart.
I’ve never known you to be so carefree.
Expecting banana, I took a nibble of the muffin, and found to my surprise it was lemon flavored. But not just lemon. I was struck by several sensations all at once. First, I realized for the first time how different my mouth was. My teeth were all the same size and shape, arranged perfectly symmetrical. No more canines. My tongue was at least twice as long. With all the other bodily changes, I hadn’t noticed.
But none of this compared to the assault of flavor which hit my mouth from that first bite. First was the warm and soft bread, which quickly dissolved as I chewed it into pure liquid flavor. Tart, sour, sweet… each, overpowering, like a shade of strong flavor, one after another. It was lemon as I knew it, but lemon like I had never tasted before. Yet, it was just a muffin. It had the consistency of muffin. And, despite all the sweet flavor, it didn’t taste unhealthy. It tasted wholesome, balanced while still overwhelming. And, for a single moment, the taste of the lemon meringue my mother would sometimes make.
A tear ran down my cheek, and my heart ached.
I immediately dove in for more muffins. Strong flavors weren’t necessarily appealing to me, but this… these were bites of Heaven. To my dissatisfaction, the muffin was soon gone. I began coughing as the last mouthfuls slowly went down my throat.
“Are you going to sit there choking, or are you going to drink some of your tea?” commented Trixie.
I wanted to rebuff her advice, but had to admit it was the logical thing to do. Looking down grimly at my… at the hooves, and realizing I had no chance of using them effectively, I lowered my head to the cup, dunking my snout into the tea, and sipped. Hot cinnamon and spice washed the lemon flavor away immediately. The cinnamon had an edge I’d never tasted before. Was it another spice? Or was cinnamon bred and cultivated differently in Equestria? Regardless, I found myself slurping up half the cup in a few seconds. And proceeded to cough again afterwards.
“This food is the best I’ve ever tasted,” I mumbled.
One muffin was plenty for right now. I should wait until later to eat more.
“Can I have two more muffins, please?” I asked Starlight, who obliged me with a gentle smile.
“I don’t think it’s just the food,” said Lilyheart, now resting her chin on the table. “I think it’s our taste buds. Makes me want to try a hay burger. Or a carrot dog. Or a daisy sandwich.”
“I think maybe you’re better off holding off on those for later,” said Sunset.
Well you two made up fast, I thought as I continued scarfing down the muffins before me. They were so good, my throat hurt. The latest chunk wouldn’t go down. I was already taking another bite before I could process this.
“Uh, you might want to slow down a little,” said Starlight. “I don’t want you to choke.”
I desperately tried to swallow saliva to help the food down. Oh, did that hurt. It was like having a rock stuck in my pipe. I spat out the food in my mouth and quickly took a sip of tea… except since the tea level was so low, my lips could no longer reach it.
“Rainy Skies told me it was going to be sunny until Thursday,” Trixie was saying.
“But Derpy told me it was going to rain on Saturday,” said Starlight.
I placed both hooves around the teacup, and bit the side of the cup so I could lift it up and drink as though it was a bottle. Warm tea splashed over my eyes and forehead, and nothing went past my lips.
“Oh, that’s okay!” said Starlight. “I can get you more tea!” A magically floating napkin quickly wiped off my forehead.
“I can ask Rainbow Dash when I see her later,” said Sunset.
Glimmer turned away from me to answer. “Oh, Rainbow Dash doesn’t work with the weather pegasi very much anymore. Too busy working with the Wonderbolts, the School of Friendship–”
“Finding a random cloud to sleep on and putting off all the work she can,” cut in Trixie.
“Well, yeah, that too,” said Glimmer.
Panic. Pressure. Pain. I tried waving my hooves to get attention, but Starlight, in her distraction, batted my head away with the napkin, covering my eyes with it. Now, I couldn’t see, either. Except for the shiny stars peeking out from behind the darkness. I scrambled my hooves over the fabric and peeled it off.
Again I could see the pastel world around me. But, it seemed different somehow. The colors were starting to blend together, like a water painting not yet dried. I looked over to see Lilyheart, her head downwards on the table. Maybe falling into another doze, content after finishing her meal.
Father in Heaven…
At that moment, Lilyheart slid her head upwards. She looked at me a little dreamily, until her eyes sharpened into discernment, and then concern. Her mouth opened.
“Robin is choking!” shouted Sunset.
Yes, Robin is! Thank you!
But the pastel world slowly grew darker; and I felt myself falling backwards.
The little fireplace in the cabin wasn’t quite warm enough. I inched closer to it, trying to suck in every little bit of heat I could as the small sticks and logs cracked.
“It’s your turn you know,” rumbled the deep voice of my uncle.
I looked back at the mighty bronze dragon before me. He was terribly cramped in the tiny cabin, his wings tucked at his sides and legs folded in the loaf position. Before him was the gameboard, along with the massive pile of dice he had just rolled. How did he always manage to get so many dice?
I looked at the d20. And then I looked at the grey horse hooves.
“You really ought to get over that,” said my uncle while inspecting his cards.
“They’re not mine,” I told him.
“You use them to walk, don’t you? And they hurt when poked? Do you laugh when they’re tickled?”
“Of course!”
“Then they're yours! And that’s a lot more use you get out of them than some other people do.”
“But I wasn’t born this way!” I shouted in my excitement.
“Neither was I. Even if you don’t like what you have, you need to acknowledge what you’ve been given before you can make a change. You need to accept it in order to move on.” My uncle untucked one of his legs and scratched his ear. “Of course, this is the age-old advice. Everyone knows this. But they never know how to apply it to themselves. Way how it is with a lot of things.” He then took a gigantic bite from what looked like a roasted chicken leg, except the chicken must have been the size of a dinosaur. Where it had come from, I have no idea.
I looked down at the hooves. My hooves? Mine… Down on the gameboard, the figure that represented me was a brown human figure. But, he had a much better goatee than I ever grew. “I’m scared, Pete. I’m scared that I’m never going to get back. I’m scared that I’ve lost something important I had.”
A single clawed finger stroked my cheek. That’s not something Uncle Pete would normally do. As the claw brushed against my cheek, I felt warmth, and the feeling of love boiled up within my chest. Suddenly, the fear was gone. It was burned away, replaced with the feeling of contentment; replaced with the feeling of being loved.
“It’s okay. You just gotta keep rolling,” Uncle Pete said, pointing to the game board.
I looked at my d20, and reached. I’m not sure why I was able to lift it, but it was now in… my sole. I tossed it upon the board, and watched it spin. And it spun and spun and spun. Why won’t it stop spinning? At the same time, a familiar pain returned to my throat. Where… Spinning and spinning; it was as if the die was in my mouth.
“Let me help you with that,” said Pete, who gave a sudden puff of breath.
And the die fell to a seventeen.
“Plenty good with your constitution,” said Pete.
I threw up, and the pain immediately quieted. At least, I thought I threw up. I found myself hovering in the air, back in the Cutie Map room. A chunk of muffin went flying through the air before landing on Trixie’s hat. Her eyes, already wide with concern, widened now in surprise.
By the glowing from Starlight’s horn, She was the one holding me, and had just given me the pony version of the heimlich maneuver. I was gently lowered to the floor, where I began involuntarily hacking.
“M-m-m-m-Robin!” cried Lilyheart.
I looked over to see her standing on the table. She must have run across it directly to get to me.
“I-I’m fine,” I spluttered. “But I’m really tired of everything in Equestria trying to kill me.”
Lilyheart leapt off the table and practically tackled me.
“Lily, not ag–” I began, but unlike last time, I didn’t push her away.
“Thank you,” she said. She gave one last, notable squeeze before letting go and backing away. Her eyes watered, but no tear came.
“I’m alright,” I coughed again.
“Sorry about the muffin. You might try eating slower next time,” said Starlight.
“Or maybe let someone know you’re choking earlier,” cut in Trixie before taking off her hat with a disgusted look and shaking it vigorously.
I gave her a subtle glare before turning back to Starlight. “I really hate to impose, but… I was up all night, and I’m absolutely exhausted. Starlight, is there any place I can sleep?”
“You nearly died, and your first instinct is to sleep?” asked Trixie, inspecting her hat.
“Of course!” Starlight ignored Trixie. “Lilyheart already took care of that for you. I can show you to Spike’s old room.” She began heading towards the hallway.
I looked at Lilyheart in surprise. Since when are you the responsible one? “Thanks,” I told her. She merely smiled at me. I turned back to Starlight and began to follow. “Spike got his own room in the castle? I didn’t notice. I figured he just slept in a little dog bed like he did in the library.”
“Maybe that was when he was a little too young to be by himself?” said Starlight. “I didn’t even know that about him. The library was destroyed before I met them.”
Lilyheart followed behind us. I wouldn’t have known if it weren’t for the extra set of hooves clopping against the crystal floor. Or maybe… was there something about being a pony that made me more aware of my surroundings? I suppose it would make sense.
I flicked my tail, not in annoyance, but as a test. I let the sensations run from the tip of my tail and up my spine. The whip of cool air, the patches with missing hair almost pinching, tingly burning, the feeling of strength and control; these were my feelings. This was my tail and my hooves. The solid surface of the smooth crystal underhoof… cool, but not unpleasant. I still didn’t like it. Any of it. And yet…
Was that really Uncle Pete? Impossible. Why would he be a dragon? But visions sometimes can be symbolic and weird like that. And so can hallucinations.
“Well, here we are!” said Starlight cheerfully. “Some of Spike’s things are here, so if he ever stays over he can still feel like he’s home. But, the sheets are fresh and clean! And the bathroom is just down the hall. Oh, and Lilyheart, you can sleep in that room right there!” She pointed a hoof.
“Oh, thanks, but I might talk to Sunset for a bit, first. I mean…” she sighed. “I like you and Trixie, but, no offense, I really love Sunset. I mean–! I guess I shouldn’t talk like that. Some part of me still thinks of you guys like fictional characters. I mean, I really liked Sunset when I watched the show.”
I walked into Spike’s old room, and was met with the familiar purple walls and purple curtains. Even if I didn’t remember ever seeing his room in the show, the purple was pretty consistent. Was that the artist's fault, the writer’s, or the Tree of Harmony? I shook my head, ears flapping side to side. Some crystalline branches of the Tree lined the walls, giving some break from the purple. And at the end of the room, lay a golden, oval bed, with pale blue sheets and a branch hanging over it, a red gem encrusted into it.
“I understand,” Starlight said. “I think. It might take a while to get used to the idea of you two knowing so many things. But I’m glad to see Sunset having somepony else to talk to and share her experience. She was having a hard time there, for a while.”
“Lilyheart, you should go to sleep too. You need it,” I said. “You can talk to Sunset later. And Fluttershy when we go see Discord.”
Lilyheart struggled to cut short a yawn as I spoke. “I mean, sure… but I can stay up for a little bit.”
“Sunset will be here when you wake up,” Starlight helped.
“Lilyheart,” I said, staring her in the eye. “Go to bed. Please.”
I could see the struggle in her face. “I…” She looked down the hall, and then back at Starlight, then me, and then her blue hooves, one of which she lifted and shook a little. “Okay,” she finally answered.
Why is it so hard for you to make healthy decisions for yourself?
“Goodnight,” she chirped. “And thank you, very much, Glimmer.”
“You betcha!” Starlight answered with a wink, and Lilyheart headed towards the door.
“Thank you,” I mumbled to Starlight, who only nodded back.
With surprising ease, I shut the door, though maybe a little too loudly, and scrambled on the bed. I wasn’t entirely certain what position to lay in. After struggling to get under the blanket, first finding myself on my back, front hooves sticking up and my tail pressed into the mattress uncomfortably. I shifted to my side, and found it more comfortable, though only slightly. So I turned to the other side, and found it even more uncomfortable. I tossed and turned several times until I finally settled on a semi-side, glumly accepting it as the best I was going to get, and began praying.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Hail Mary… full of grace… please help me… the Lord is with you… sleep… comfortable. Blessed are you among women… help me with all of this… and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus… I love You. Take care of Andrew… Lilyheart. And mom. Will I see her…