//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 - Anon's Power // Story: A Dadonequus Christmas // by CrazedLaughter //------------------------------// “Hold it right there!” You said, pointing towards the girls like a cheap anime character. The Dazzlings turned around, confused and perturbed by your words. Adagio looked at you with disgust. “What is it now, Twerp? It’s over, we’re not giving you squat.” You snicker cooly to yourself as you wave your wand a bit. “To my Dad? Yeah, I get you. But see, I understand the situation. I know exactly what you want, need, and can’t go without!” Aria just moved close to Sonata and whispered “What’s wrong with this kid? Does he think he’s some cartoon character?” Sonata smiled adorably. “I like cartoons! I think we should hear him out!” Adagio groaned as she looked over at Sonata with frustration. “Sonata, if he’s Discord’s kid, then he’s-Wha?!” Adagio and the other two step to the side in surprise as a small pyramid of briefcases, stuffed with cash, appear beside them. “The heck is this?” “Aha! I see you’re impressed. Behold! Over a trillion dollars, enough to set you up for life, especially with the right investments.” You say, your wand pointing to the pyramid of cash. You then do a fantastic spin as you point towards their van, zapping it with another spell as the door opens, revealing an impossibly decadent and huge interior. “And why pay for a mansion when you can live in one that stays with you wherever you go? The van itself should now be invincible. Haha, watch out everyone else on the road!” You then point upwards as sparks fly up like fireworks. “And finally, the last gift for you all. A huge tasty supply of AGSDGFSDSDGSDF” You were then crushed by a bevy of tacos landing on you. The three girls just looked on in utter confusion. Except for Sonata, whose eyes were wide and glistening at the sight of the large taco pile. Discord just walked up to the pile and took a taco to munch on as he addressed the girls. “Yes, I know, it’s crazy how he keeps fumbling his spells. Though, to be fair, he has been a quadruped for so long he’s forgotten the consequences of pointing straight up.” “Uh huh, and what is this all supposed to be, exactly?” Adagio said, unimpressed. “What are you talking about, Adagio? Look at all this cash! This kid has to be legit.” Aria said as she began sifting through the briefcases greedily. “I know! eeee!” Sonata said giddily “You can even smell them! The meat and cheese is so warm! I gotta have a bite!” Sonata rushed to grab a taco to eat, before Adagio grabbed her by the collar. “Hold on, you’re not taking a single bite!” Adagio snapped as she pulled back Sonata. “And, Aria? Drop the cash, we don’t need it.” “What do you mean we don’t need it? Are you crazy or something?” Aria said, utterly shocked Adagio wouldn’t just take the cash. “Crazy? No. I’m also not stupid. How do we know all of this won’t disappear once we do the interview?” Adagio asked, staring over at Discord. Discord groaned at her, then sighed. “If you must know, my son has been poisoned somewhat by the ideologies of pony culture. Namely the Princess of Friendship herself has influenced him, so much so it nearly ended our Equestria over something that could have been easily avoided. Something I’d never do, I assure you.” “See?” Aria said, arms pointed towards Discord. “Yeah, I get it. Fine, I’ll accept that he means it. But I’m still saying no.” Adagio said, to the surprise of everyone. “What?! How can you say no to all this?! You’d have to be a fool to choose poverty over all this wealth!” Discord said, utterly flabbergasted and internally devastated by her words. “Adagio… The tacos.” Sonata said with glistening sad and begging eyes. “You wanna know why?” Adagio said as she violently pushed and pointed her finger into Discord’s chest. “Because knowing you’ll fail, knowing that this will crush you, and knowing how much keeping something that means so much to you away is all I could ever want for Christmas. Now go away! And take all this junk with you.” “Adagio!” Aria said in a fit of rage. “You are crazy! He’s not even the guy that got us sealed!” Adagio just crossed her arms as she looked at Aria boredly. “And? He was still a part of it.” “Adagio, I’m usually always going along with what you want. But not this time! This can set us up practically forever! I don’t want to live another day in the gutter because you want to be sooooooo petty! Do you really want to give this up!? He’s willing to give us everything we could ever want ever!” Aria barked at her. Suddenly, Adagio became blank faced, then an evil smile began to form. A cruel and evil little smile. “Everything we could want, huh?” Suddenly Adagio reached into the taco pile and pulled you out violently, grabbing onto the neck of your coat. “Hey, Squirt, you want an interview from us so bad?” “Wha? What? What haprefidhiofhisdfo” Adagio was shaking you from your dazed state as she yelled the question at you again. “W-what? I mean, yeah. So, will you do it?” “Oh yeah…” Adagio said with a snicker as she gently put you down. “But not for this. No, you want the interview? You give us a one way ticket back to Equestria, at full power. Break Starswirl’s stupid spell and we’ll spill our guts to you. How does that sound?” “Oh.. Huh, that works too.” Aria said, seemingly wanting that as well. “B-but, the tacos…” Sonata cried as she saddingly pointed towards the pile. “Forget the tacos already! This is more important. So, what do you say, kid? I mean, it isn’t your Equestria, right? What do you care if we get back to it or not?” Adagio asked, her tone becoming nicer as she began to brush the meat and cheese off your coat. …? Uh… You look over at Discord, who just shrugs back at you. “Okay, sure.” What did you care? She was right, it wasn’t your Equestria. And since, as much as you hate to say it, it hasn’t been influenced by you in any way, they would surely just get their asses kicked and sent back here, or locked away in Tartarus. No muss, no fuss. “Okay, sure? Are you serious?” Aria said, with heavy doubt. “Yeah… ARE you serious?” Adagio asked, surprised herself by your casual answer. You just shrugged. “Yeah, why not? You’re fine with it, right, Dad?” Discord shrugged as well. “I don’t care, as long as I get what I want.” “Huh… That was easy.” Adagio said with a shrug. “Okay, so give us back our power first. You know, as an advance, and we’ll do the interview.” You raise your wand to cast the spell… Until suddenly. “WAIT!” Sonata yelled out. “Grrr, enough about the stupid tacos already, Sonata! We’re about to get our powers back!” Aria growled. “But… What if he only agreed because he knows that by not influencing that Equestria in any way, we would just get our butts kicked and sent back here? Or worse, locked away in Tartarus? There’d be no muss, no fuss… For him I mean.” Sonata explained. “Huh… Well, that’s the smartest thing you ever said… Ever.” Adagio said, actually impressed with Sonata’s deductions. “It was? I thought solving that multiplication problem was much smarter.” Sonata said with a cute smile. “You mean eight times nine?” Aria said with an annoyed huff. “Yeah, the one you got wrong, Aria! That’s the one!” Sonata said ignorantly. “Sonata, I swear-!” Aria was revving up a punch when Adagio yelled out at the both of them. “Will you two can it!” Adagio bellowed at the both of them before looking at you with a venomous glare. “Should have known there was a trick.” “Ahrm, if I may interject!” Discord said as he stepped up to your side. “He did offer you three amazing gifts beforehand. And he didn’t say that is what he planned to happen. Wouldn’t it be fair to say that your friend is merely overestimating Twilight, her amazing friend, and the rest?”  “Sure, it would be fair. But you’re not a fair guy, are you, Discord?” Adagio said, turning her glare towards him. “Well, I don’t want to toot my own horn, but obviously not. But he is!” Discord said as he grabbed your shoulders and gave you a gentle shake. “Won’t you give him a chance? Don’t you want to return home?” Adagio crossed her arms once again, and began to give it some silent thought. She outreached her hand towards Aria. “Aria, bat.” Fucking hell! She was more stubborn than fucking Chrysalis! “Ugh… Fine.” Aria groaned as she went to grab her bat and give it to Adagio. “Wait!” Sonata yelled out once again. “What?! What is it this time?!” Aria shouted at Sonata. “Because if it’s about tacos this time, I’m gonna give you the bat first! to the head!” “No! This is more important! I know a way to make this all work!” Sonata said proudly. “You do?” You said, confused. Like, seriously? What could she possisDFDSFSD Sonata suddenly got on her knees and began to snuggle you, and like, really snuggle you. She was caressing your hair and rubbing your back as she blew softly into your ear. G-g-g-guh…hmmnggg… Oh god, oh god, she was walking her fingers suddenly on your chest. Aria was actually disgusted by this. “Sonata.. You know, like… That he’s a kid?” She then gave you a peck on the lips. WHAT THE FUCK WAS HAPPENING! You were putty in her hands… Until suddenly… “Yoink!” Sonata yelled out as she hopped back. Yoink? Huh? Mnnnn Mnnnnnn… “Anon…” Discord said with a groan as he pointed towards Sonata “Would you snap out of it, please?” Wut? You looked up, and… Oh no… “Sonata, wow… Just, I’m… Okay, I’ll give it to you.” Aria began to clap. Sonata was holding up your wand in victory. “Oh, it was nothing. I noticed how he seemed all gooey about me earlier, so I just worked a little magic and, well, we win! Now we can get all the tacos we want, forever!” “Or…” Adagio snatches the wand, holding it up. “We take what we want, and conquer both this world and Equestria.” Adagio cackled before she brushed her hair back, looking at Discord. “Oh, and no interview for you.” “WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU!” Discord snarled as he began snapping rapidly at Adagio, with no magic to make up for it. Adagio just snickered at him, unimpressed. “Out of gas, Discord? How convenient.” “No!” Fuck, no, how?! It was Cozy all over again! Fucking hell, it was worse! “Well, good job, Anon, you doomed everything. Oh, also I’m telling Diamond Tiara about what happened. Shameful. Just. Shameful.” Discord said with rather sudden calm disappointment. “Awww, don’t be so hard on the kid, Discord.” Adagio said as she held the wand high up. “Without him, we wouldn’t be making our universal comeback tour! HAHAHAHA” Fuck! Fuck! You rushed to grab the wand from her, but Aria grabbed and held you by the head as you tried to rush forward. “Hold it right there, Twerp, you’re not going anywhere.” NO! NO! NOT AGAIN! NOT… wait. You were a human, humans don’t fucking fight fair. And even then, these were girls. And as you thought about that, an old Dragonball Z dub began to ring in your head. You could hear Piccolo’s voice. It said… “I know for damn sure you’re not familiar with this, but the cootchy is a woman’s weak spot. You punch her in the cootchy and it goes like ‘cgh chghu', and then she be falling down to the ground on her knees like ‘aah’!...” It was your only hope… You backed up your head and bit down on Aria’s hand like a dog, causing her to yelp and pull it back as she threatened you. But you paid her no mind as your rushed towards Adagio, who was about to point the wand at you. But you were of the right size, and you were quick and nimble, so you fling back your fist and slam it right into Adagio’s cootchy, as hard as you can, with a twisting punch! Adagio suddenly fell down to the ground, on her knees, as she let out an “Ahh!”. You also swore you could hear some squishy sounds but your attention was now on the flying wand that fell from her hand. You ran back down in the confusion and managed to catch the wand. Discord actually seemed wildly impressed, and clapped. “Amazing, Anon, simply astounding! A little too violent for my taste, but you could practically taste the chaos! And- wait, where are you going?” “FUCKING RUUUUUN! FUCKING RUUUUUUUUN!” You yelled towards Discord as you made a mad dash in any direction, Discord following you as Aria and Sonata began to tend to the fallen Adagio. Goddamn…what to do now?