//------------------------------//
// To Kill a Mocking Spider 
// Story: Arachnophobia 
// by Dennis the Menace 
//------------------------------//

The sound I made was a cross between a seizure and foaming at the mouth. My entire face twitched, and I began to spasm and squirm at the thought of those eggs. All those little, itty-bitty eggs...hundreds upon thousands of itty-bitty tarantulas, crawling all over me, swarming Canterlot, all of Equestria wrapped in a vicious web. 

"Sister?" A blue hoof waved in front of my face. "Sister?" 

I collapsed, helpless as they all clambering onto my body, engulfing me. I screamed a pitiful wail, raising a hoof into the air. 

"Sister, what are you doing?" 

I looked up at her wearily, my shimmering mane erratic and messy. "Y-You..." 

"Yes?" She leaned in. "Speak up?" 

"Come closer, my sister," I whispered. 

She came closer, her ear at my mouth.

"You devil." 

Luna smirked and laughed falsely. "Why would you ever say such a thing, 'Tia? Ha-ha!" 

I loomed over her, and she seemed to shrink slightly. "You know exactly why! I know what you're doing!" I roared. "I know everything!" 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Luna huffed. "If you mean to suggest that you are afraid of a little tarantula..." Her eyes flashed wickedly. 

My mouth went dry. I choked, stammering. "M-Me?" 

"There's no shame in admitting it." 

I had no words. I backed her into a corner, growling, my mane fiery red. I held my breath, the sound of a steam whistle audible, signalling an impending explosion. It never came. 

I slumped miserably. "Yes. I admit it. I am afraid of tarantulas." 

"Really?" 

I looked up at her, my expression matching hers. Shock. 

"I thought you didn't like spiders." 

"THAT IS THE SAME THING!"

"Ow! Do not scream in my ear!" 

"YOU MEAN USING MY OUTDOOR VOICE? WHAT WAS THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY YELLING!"

"Sister, that is really loud!" 

"OH, I'M SORRY! I'M PRINCESS LUNA, I HAVE NO INDOOR VOICE!"

Luna gasped. "Low blow." 

"LOUD NOISES!"

"Sister, on a scale of one to ten, how afraid are you of spiders?" 

"ELEVEN!"

"I thought Nightmare Moon was a ten." 

"NIGHTMARE MOON OVER SPIDERS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!"

"You can stop screaming. I never realized how deathly afraid you were. I thought everypony tended not to like them." 

"Did it ever occur to you why a pony's first instinct is to crush a spider underhoof rather than scoop it up and play fetch?" I hissed. 

"Evolutionary instincts and psychology?" 

"In my case, I plan on bringing the sun down on Atticus." 

Luna poked me. Hard. "You will not harm Atticus." She smiled. "In fact, I have a better idea." 

"What's that? Moving them into the forest?" 

"Rehabilitation." 





"I don't like this." 

"You don't have to like this, 'Tia. I promise, this will help." 

"I still think you were doing this on purpose." 

"Maybe a little." 

"What clued you in?" 

"I put a toy spider on your pillow and you blew a hole in your bedroom," Luna giggled. "Now Atticus, be very nice and slow." He crawled back and forth on her outstretched leg. 

I backed away. "Wait, wait, wait. We need to have a safe word." 

"Safe word?" 

"For when I'm feeling uncomfortable." 

"Then 'safe word' the safe word shall be." 

"No, no," I shook my head. "It has to be something we would never say normally." 

"Okay. 'Moon." 

"No, no. 'Banana'." 

"The safe word is 'banana'?" 

"Yes, okay." 

Luna approached slowly, Atticus on her hoof. 

"Banana," I shrieked. "Banana!" 

"You didn't even touch him!" 

"I felt uncomfortable." 

She glowered at me, snatching my hoof in hers. "Don't move. Simply hold Atticus for a few seconds." 

My teeth ground together as I looked away, silently screaming as I felt his leg touch my coat. My first instinct was to pull away and zap him, but Luna held me tight. 

"You're doing good." 

More legs crawled onto my hoof. 

"Banana! BANANA!" 

"Sister, look, you're holding him!" 

"BANANA!" 

"No no no, you're doing great!" 

I looked at my hoof, and shrieked, seeing only Atticus' black body and red eyes. He didn't move. He simply stared at me, his fangs twitching idly. 

"I'm...I'm doing it!" 

"Yes, yes you are!" Luna cheered. "Now crawl a bit, Atticus." 

"BANANA, BANANA!" 

Atticus crawled at a snail's pace along. Each touch of his fuzzy leg made me feel like I was on fire. I was itching all over. I squinted a bit, and on his ugly face, I saw his fangs curve, his eyes lighting up in a smile. I gave a forced smile back. 

"Good job!" Atticus crawled back onto Luna's hoof. "See? They aren't so bad." 

Sure, I was sweating all over. But I felt...better. 

"You're right," I said softly. "He is very...docile." 

"Would you like to meet his girlfriend?" Luna asked with a girly squeal. 

I gave a weary smile. "Of course." 

Out from the depths of the broom closet, a hideous creature twice the size of Atticus emerged, rumbling and hissing. 

"Isn't it amazing? The females are giants compared to the males." 

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—"