“...For the last time. I do not have an eye infection, I do not have glass eyes, nor do I use food coloring or contacts for the color. Furthermore, I am not an alien, of the undead, or a metallic automaton!” Discord said with a growl as he raised his hands towards Sonata, their trembling showing his frustration.
“But I didn’t say automawhatever, I said robot.” Sonata said, with blank eyed blinking.
Discord’s eye twitched as he stepped backwards, grabbing and rubbing onto his face in utter befuddlement. “Ngh, how do I even get through to such an inferior min-hm?” Discord looked over to you, in shock, as he noticed you snickering. “And what is so humorous, hmm?”
“Do I have to say it?” You said, smirking at him, as you placed your chin on your hands and fluttered your eyes. “You’re getting jerked around so freaking bad, it’s hilarious”
“And you can do better?” Discord asked, with doubt in his tone.
“Yeh, I can, I know how this works.” You step towards Discord and reach your hand out. “C’mon, don’t take it so hard, alright? Tag me in, partner?” You felt a little sympathetic towards him. Maybe his plan was pretty petty, but you were pretty sure Twilight would be pretty appreciative of his efforts. And besides, Chrysalis isn’t Discord, she’s not going to give a shit about being upstaged unless he was specifically trying to give Fluttershy a ‘better’ gift. So, all things considered, there really weren't any consequences to his actions.
Also, you just really wanted to get this over with anyway.
Discord looked at you with scorn for just a moment, then shrugged with a cool grin. “Sure, why not?” He gently slaps your hand with his own and steps aside. “But do not think, for even a second, that this is due to me being so annoyed that I’m willing to rip this world’s reality asunder to quench my rage.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” You stepped up to the plate. Alright, Anon, it was game time. You can do this! You patted your cheeks to redden them, put your arms together adorably, and gave Sonata the cutest face you could. “Pwease, Miss Sonata-chan? Can we pwease pwease get that interview?”
Discord just looked on with disgusted astonishment, then slapped his own face as he muttered “I regret this decision.”
“Awww!” Sonata grabbed onto you gently and snuggled onto you. “You’re so cute! Of course I can give you that interview! And some pictures too!”
Oh baby, this worked much better than you ever could have imagined. She was so soft and huggable, her snuggles so warm. You didn’t give a shit how Discord took this right now, this was truly a golden momen-OH GOD!
“SONATA!” Came yet another familiar voice as the van’s side door slammed shut! “SONATA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”
“EEP!” Sonata let out a yelp as she accidentally flung you up into the air, causing you to slam down onto your face, into the snow.
“Mnnnggmmnnn” Welp, you were close. At least it seems your human head is as strong as your pony one.
“Sonata!” It was Aria Blaze, dressed in a heavy coat as she stomped forward towards Sonata, surprising her as she pointed at her accusingly. “How many times do I have to tell you not to leave the door open!? You’re letting all the hot air out! Do you know how ann-wait.” She suddenly stops when she notices Discord standing there. She then looked back at Sonata as she pointed towards Discord. “Please tell me you didn’t make a deal with that guy!”
“Erm, well, not yet? I didn’t sign anything.” Sonata said with a shrug and sheepish smile.
“Ahrm.” Discord cleared his throat as he pulled you out of the snow and planted you on your feet with one hand movement. “I’m Mr.D, and this is my, well, little associate. We’re merely here for an interview with the most amazing singing group in the world, the Dazzlings.”
“I know who you are…” Aria said as she crossed her arms, giving Discord an angry stare.
Discord sighed as he once again became frustrated, pointing to his eye. “This isn’t an eye infection! And he comes from a country where millions like him do cheap labor, so he’s used to it!”
“What?! You’re seriously going with that!?” The hell was he on? You weren’t that kind of kid!
Discord turns his head towards you with an intense look. “Well, you were when I found you, right?!”
You raised a finger as you were about to tell him he was wrong. But…
Er…
No, no, he wasn’t wrong.
When Discord turned around to face the girls once again, however, he found Aria’s accusing finger in his face. “Whatever, I know you’re actually Discord!”
Oh…
Oh shit…
Actually, why did Discord feel like hiding that fact, anyway? It wasn’t like they wouldn’t figure it out when he began to question them on them being actual sirens from Equestria. Then again, he probably thought that whole ‘Mr.D’ shtick would have flown throughout his entire charade.
“W-wherever did you get that i-idea?” Discord said as he was taken aback.
Aria crossed her arms as she gave Discord quite the stink-eye. “Everyone knows who you are. You’re the Mad Music Mogul, Discord, of Discordant Records.”
“Mad Music Mogul?” Discord said in confusion. “Mad Music… Mogul?” Discord said in further confusion as he pointed to himself. He then slowly looked towards you. “Mad. Music. Mogul?”
You just shrugged. You don’t remember a human Discord at all. But, huh, so what? Was Aria excited to meet him?
“Are you telling me my alter self amounts to nothing but an eccentric mu-oh?!” When Discord turned to face Aria once more, he comes face to face with her fist, threatening to slug him. “Excuse me?”
“You can excuse yourself out of here! Or do you want my fist in your face?!” Aria growled at him.
“Huh? But Aria, isn’t this a good thing? He wants to interview us!” Sonata said in visible confusion and excitement.
“Sonata! Do you realize who this is?! This is Discord! He’s a huge jerk, that’s all he is. You should know what he wants. It’s what he always does. Tricks bands into playing so he can call them terrible on his April Fools albums. Or bring them down in his stupid rags. How could you possibly listen to him?!” Aria asked in befuddlement.
Sonata shrugged. “He gave me a taco… I think. I may have been dreaming.”
Aria just put her hand to her head as she sighed. “Sonata…”
So, that’s what it was. It seems even in this universe, Discord was also a prick.
“Pardon me, but I can assure you that I don’t wish to put you in any magazine. This is more of a personal venture, you see.” Discord said as he tried to reassure her that he had no ill intent.
“Yeah, no, you can either get out of here, or I can put you on a venture to the ground. Six feet under.” Aria said as she began to crack her knuckles.
“Wow, Aria, you’re extra mad tonight. So, um, are you going to put that kid in the ground too?” Sonata asked as she pointed to you.
“Wha? Kid?” Aria then turned her head towards you, and actually seemed astonished at your presence. “Oh man, who’s the twerp?”
Oh, here we go! Game face, Anon. “I’m, uh…” Fuck! You didn’t plan for this! “I’m Discord’s son?”
“What? Discord doesn’t have a son.” Aria then looked back at Discord, with utter disgust. “I know we're bad, but that’s just gross. What? Did you adopt a kid to make yourself look better or something?”
Discord nodded, with no shame whatsoever. “Why, yes, I did exactly that.”
“Yeah, I’m gonna go get the bat, no one will miss him.” Aria was about to turn around when suddenly the van’s side door slid opened and then slammed shut. As the final Dazzling stepped out of the van, in a heavy coat and a cup of hot cocoa in hand. “Save it, Aria. And stop overreacting. It’s pretty rare to have someone important in our midst.”
“Adagio! C’mon, not you too! Don’t you know who that is?!” Aria said, arms wretched in frustration.
“Oh…” Adagio takes a small sip of her cup. “Of course I do. Hello, Discord. It’s been, what? Over a thousand moons?”
Oh shit, both you and Discord were massively surprised by that. She completely saw through the facade,
Discord let out a bit of a nervous chuckle. “Ah, yes, I… Hrm, I suppose you know I’m from Equestria then?”
“Seriously?! It’s him?! That Discord?! C’mon, we have to get our revenge! If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be here!” Aria said, pointing back at Discord, her face becoming red with rage.
“Wha?!” Wait, what?! “Hold on, you’re the reason they’re here?! I thought that was Starswirl.”
“Oh, don’t be mistaken, it totally was Starswirl that sent us here. But we wouldn’t have had to try to sap so much negative energy from a village all at once if Discord here didn’t trick us into performing for a bunch of angry badgers that scratched us up from Tartarus and back.” Adagio then looked to Sonata with a scowl. “Or if someone didn’t let him worm his way in with the promise of tacos.”
Sonata gave a sheepish smile as she recoiled back. “Ah, hrm, erm… Sorry?”
“Oh, it’s fine.” Adagio said as she approached you and leaned down to give you a poke on the nose. “So, adopted son, huh? Adorable.” Adagio then looked at Discord with a cocky smirk. “So, who wrangled you in, Discord? It’s clear you’re not here to take over, it seems you’re oh so over that.” Adagio let out a mocking chuckle. “What happened, really? Did Starswirl spank you and make you cry and turn over a new leaf?”
Discord was now visibly pissed off at the insults and insinuations, he was snapping his fingers continuously at his side, but nothing was happening but sparks. “No…” He growled lowly. “Just. Here. For an interview.”
“How cute, of course you are.” Adagio said with an adoringly false smile as she looked at him with dominating eyes. She then took a sip once again, her eyes never leaving his. “Silly me, it’s been so long and here I am talking about old times. So uncool, that stuff happened long ago. Clean slate, right?”
Oh no, she wasn’t gonna give us shit. You looked over to see if Discord was buying it. Thankfully, it looked like he wasn’t.
“Hrm, I can practically taste the petty hatred you have for me from here.” Discord said as he did his best to calm down, wiping back his hair and straightening his suit. “But, it is extremely misguided. I may be from Equestria, yes. But I’m not the Discord you speak of. You see, that Discord exists beyond the rift between here and the Equestria you know of. And I can assure you, that Discord doesn’t have a son. Knowing that, surely you can give us some of your time? Just a bit, and we’ll be out of your hair.” Discord said, giving her a reassuring smile.
Huh, actually, that’s true. The timeline of your Equestria didn’t have the mirror. So maybe Discord didn’t do that?
“Oh? Well, that makes everything better then! So, what happened to your version of us then?” Adagio said with a big smile.
Discord stopped…
Shit, it was the same shit, wasn’t it?
“Yeah, thought so.” Adagio said in a mocking teenage tone. “Alright, girls, let’s get back inside. I’m done dealing with these dweebs.”
So, that was it, wasn’t it? You looked over at Discord, who didn’t seem defeated quite yet, as he was muttering to himself, trying to figure something out.
But you? Was there something you could do? You reached into your coat, and began to pull out a magic wand. It was, in fact, your trust horn, turned into a wand for this world. You actually wanted to help Discord, even if it was for petty reasons. Fuck morality, he was your partner, and whenever the chips were down, he was there for you.
So it was time to be there for him.