//------------------------------// // The Last Chapter // Story: My Little Pony: Friendship is Absurd // by Lord Seth //------------------------------// “Twilight! Twilight!” shouted Discord excitedly as he ran into the throne room holding a large stack of papers. Twilight looked up from the book she was reading. “What is it, Discord?” “I’m glad to see you’re not busy!” said Discord. “I was worried maybe you were meeting with Lavender Dust or something. However, I’ve got something way more impressive! I wrote a story, and I think you should read it!” Twilight looked at the very large stack of paper. “You really wrote all that?” “Absolutely!” said Discord. “That’s actually quite a bit. However, why didn’t you ask Fluttershy first?” “That’s a very good question!” said Discord. “Anyway, this thing’s great! It’s about this alternate universe where everything is all crazy. So instead of you and your friends finding the Elements of Harmony, it’s about how Gilda, Trixie, and some others all got the Elements of Irony. And then they go off on really silly adventures. Oh, and in the story, I visit this place called Acapulco! Never heard of it, but sounds cool. I’ll admit the ending might have been a bit rushed, but on the whole I think the story is pretty good. I was so into it I even wrote three spin-off stories along the way, though in retrospect maybe I could’ve just included them as part of the main story. It was definitely a weird experience to basically write fan fiction for the real world, but it was really exciting.” Twilight appeared perplexed at this description, but didn’t press the matter. “Did you give a name to it?” she asked. “Oh, right!” said Discord. “I did come up with a name. It’s called ‘My Little Pony: Friendship Is Absurd.’” “That sounds–” “Yep!” said Discord as he broke the fourth wall and turned to look at the reader. “It was all just a story I wrote the entire time! Great twist, eh?” Twilight stared blankly. “Discord, how is it being a story a twist? I already know it’s a story! You’ve been telling me that!” “Okay, maybe that part wasn’t such a great twist,” admitted Discord. “I think I might be so excited by my accomplishment that I wasn’t thinking quite clearly.” “Perhaps more importantly,” said Twilight, “why did you feel the need to break down a wall? That must have been the fifth wall you’ve broken this year!” “No, I’m pretty sure it was the fourth wall this year,” said Discord. “The one in the kitchen was last year, right?” “Whether it was the fourth wall or fifth wall you broke isn’t important! Why do you break it?” “Oh, I just wanted to look at the painting that was in the next room,” said Discord as he gestured through the broken wall towards a painting of a pony in a library reading with the words The Reader written underneath it. “This seemed more efficient than actually going there. But now that I look at the painting, it’s kind of boring, both in name and title.” He snapped his fingers and the painting now had Discord in it about to dump a bucket of water on the pony. “Discord…” said Twilight in a threatening voice. “Oh, fine!” said Discord as he snapped his fingers again, restoring the painting to normal and repairing the wall. “There. Good as new.” Twilight sighed. “While it’s great that you seem to have worked creatively in writing this story, I have to know. How did you get inspiration for all of this, anyway?” “Actually, I had a major case of writer’s block!” said Discord. “But after I stole… um, borrowed this typewriter I found in the castle, it was as if a spigot opened in my mind! I just wrote and wrote and wrote and couldn’t stop! I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite like that, and before I knew it, it ended up being this long.” “Wait, that’s where that typewriter went?” “Well it’s not like anypony was using it,” said Discord. “Discord,” said Twilight, “that’s a magic typewriter that chronicles what occurs in another universe. Everything you wrote actually happened, just in a different universe.” Discord stared. “Wait, really?” “Yes,” said Twilight, “though it picks different universes for each writer. Now, the personality of the writer does end up in the writing, so it would probably end up with some rather odd or chaotic things in the prose. It also would probably skip over things you weren’t particularly interesting. However, all of the events did occur. Given your personality, it probably picked a particularly chaotic universe for you to write about.” “Huh,” said Discord. “Well, that would explain some odd bits in the narration that didn’t feel like the kind of thing that I would write, like apparent references to things I have never heard of. There were also points where the story seemed to be criticizing my ideas, even when they were actually great ones. I just assumed my writing inspiration was so strong it was overpowering my very mind. This universe sounds great! I should go and write some more and see what’s going on. Not counting the spin-offs, the story’s word count was just under 200,000, so if I make an epilogue or something, it would be able to go over that milestone.” “You can, but remember it’ll only tell you things you’d find particularly interesting,” said Twilight. “Oh, that universe was so crazy I’m sure there’s all sorts of things I’d be interested in!” said Discord as he threw his hands up in the air. This, however, had the effect of throwing the papers everywhere. “Um, I’ll leave that to the janitor,” he said before teleporting away. A short time later… “This is going to be great!” said Discord as he sat down in front of the typewriter. “I can’t wait to see what kind of crazy adventures they’ve gotten up to!” Discord put his hands in front of the typewriter and began to type. And they lived happily ever after. Discord stopped writing. He stared at the typewriter and his hands, willing them to write more. “Really? That’s it?” Suddenly, Discord found inspiration. He wrote a little more. Well, happily enough that there is no purpose to continue the story. Discord stopped writing again. He stared at the typewriter and his hands, willing them again to move. Nothing happened. He willed harder. Still nothing happened. After more unsuccessful willing of his hands to write, Discord sighed, slouched back in his chair, and scowled. “Phooey.”