I let out a delighted sound as I tried the latest batch of tea from Moonshine.
"You're getting better." I told her.
"Yes." She quietly celebrated. "Still can't get it as good as yours."
"I've made tea for forty years Moon, I just have more experience." I stated and took another sip.
It's actually quite good. With how easy it goes down, and the pleasant aftertaste.
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. You're old." She said with a playful smirk.
"Right. And I'm only sixty, and still in my prime. You'll be wrinkly soon enough." I told her calmly.
"Bullshit." Ah, I think she got that one from me. "Even after a few centuries, I'll still be as beautiful as today." She finished with a smug expression.
"I doubt that." I told her with an impassive face.
"Fine, I'll bring you back from the grave when the time comes. Just so I can rub it in your face." She said with a challenging grin.
I finally broke and laughed out loud as her grin crumbled into laughter as well.
We soon stopped with a sigh and calmed down.
"Ahhh, we're so bored." She stated the fact.
And she was right. We were so dreadfully bored as we just lazed around under the previously built platform. As much as I would like for us to continue building our tree house, after the heavy rain last night, all our prepared wood became soaked.
I don't know how much it affects buildings, but I do know that wet wood brings out mold. Or at least, I know it's related.
"Try to imagine a fight scene from a book or something." I simply told her.
"What, like a foal?" She asked back.
"No, like a bored foal."
"The fuck, is the difference?"
"The bored part."
"Fine." With that, she fully laid on her back and stared upwards, a distracted look on her face.
I simply closed my eyes and started to loosen my body to try and go to sleep. I do need it somewhat after last night.
*Rustle*
Hmm?
I slowly opened my eyes back up and observed our surroundings. Seemingly nothing, but I heard some movement. Focusing on my hearing, the natural sounds of the camp slowly drown out as I focus on everything else. My hooves naturally go towards the axe as I stood up.
"Huh? What're you doing?" I heard Moon ask from behind me.
*Rustle*
My head whips to the source of the sound. Considering the last time this happened, I was more than ready to behead whatever that came in.
I slowly raised the axe, preparing to throw it.
"Hey, what the fuck are you doing?" Moon asked with an annoyed tone.
"There's an intruder here." I reply and focus on the sound.
"What?"
I respond by throwing the axe at the sound as it cuts through the air with a swishing sound.
A dull thud rings out, telling me I missed.
"WHAT THE BUCK!?" I heard somepony yell.
Who the hell uses 'buck' as a cuss?
"Dude. I think you just threw that axe at an innocent." Moon stated a bit anxiously as she stood next to me.
"Fuck." I cursed out loud and started walking.
I guess I've had my guard up too much since 'dying'.
"Finally, something to do." Moon jokingly said and followed suit.
"Anypony here!?" I asked out loud while tensing up to defend myself.
Because of my idiocy, whoever is here might attack.
"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I-." There was a loud slapping sound and loud groan was heard.
I raised an eyebrow and got closer. Pushing away some shrubbery, I was met with a fearsome glare of a griffin who had, her, talons on her beak. Yes, the skull is feminine shaped. Like most griffins, her fur and feathers were brown except both her head and neck.
"What the? A griffin?" Moon was surprised.
"A griffin cuck." I now felt shittier since I saw the axe inches away from her head.
"A cuck? Seriously?" Moon asked with a slight smirk and an amused tone.
"Yes, that is the correct term." I told her with a bored voice.
She burst into laughter and started to joke around.
Ignoring her, I turned to the griffin, who, admittedly, had a right to have a scared glint in her eyes, as well as hostility. The area around her eyes were wet. Though, Moon doesn't seem to have noticed it.
"So, uhh." I started off a bit nervous. "I, apologize for throwing that axe." I finished it with what I hoped was an apologetic smile.
She stared back with disbelief and distrust clearly evident on her face.
Finally finished laughing her ass off, Moon leaned on my shoulder with her hoof and looked at our visitor.
"So, who are you child?" She asked casually.
"Why should I tell you!" She yelled back with a defensive voice.
"Because I asked?" Moon asked back sarcastically.
The griffin, cuck is too foalish for me to use now, only glared back, now with more anger than fear. That's, somewhat of a better development. Then it turned back to fear.
I let out a weary sigh and push Moon away first, earning a surprised yelp from her.
"Look, I thought you were some wild beast. I'm sorry I threw the axe." I apologized once again and held my hoof to her.
She alternated her gaze between me, my hoof and Moon, clear signs of distrust evident on her face. As seconds pass, Moon got up with a pissed expression and punched me in the shoulder. I barely felt it.
In the end, I let out another sigh and was about to put my hoof down. Surprisingly, I felt a somewhat weak grip around it. I let out a small smile and pulled her to her hooves, talons? Claws? Paws?
"So." She started with an extremely confused expression. "You're not, her mind controlled servant."
What?
Oh. Right.
"Uh, no. She's too weak to do anything big." I explained with a calm smile.
"Hey!" Moon shouted.
"Talk back when you can chop firewood." I simply told her.
She became pouty after that.
I turned back to the griffin looking at both me and Moon with a bewildered face, absolutely confused by what she was seeing.
"So, kid, what's your name? I'm Natural Remedy, by the way. That one is Moonshine." I asked the griffin child.
"Gilda." She said with a bit of hesitation. "And I'm not a cuck. And that term hasn't been used since like, a hundred years ago." She stated with a slight frown before letting go of my hoof.
Huh, could've sworn that's what that other griffin said.
"Sure." I simply shrugged and reached for the axe.
Gilda watched closely as I simply pulled it back and held it on my shoulder.
"If you'd like, you can join us for lunch back at our camp. As an apology of sorts." I asked carefully.
"You're really not gonna ask for my opinion?" Moon asked, her pout having gotten slightly bigger.
"Are you going to be cooking?" I asked her.
She seemed to think of a counter argument as she raised her hoof. Then seemed to shut it down by lowering it.
That elicited a chuckle out of me and I turned to our visitor.
"So. Will you be joining us?" I asked her.
"Depends, what are you going to make?"
"Some fish, from a nearby river." That seemed to win her over as I heard a slight growl from her stomach.
"Uh, sure, I'm down for a bite." She tried to act casual.
I gave a nod and turned to walk towards the big tree. The two followed behind, creating a rhythmic thumping sound on the ground. A continuous harmony that was soon interrupted.
"Hmm?" I stopped in my tracks and looked towards the source.
"What is it?" Moon asked.
"Should I be worried?" Gilda asked with hesitation.
I prepared to throw my axe, then I stopped after hearing Gilda's voice.
"I heard something over there." I simply told them.
"Just don't throw your axe at another innocent creature." Moon said with a teasing voice.
I only rolled my eyes at her antics. We've been, closer, after last night, I suppose. Either that, or the boredom of not doing anything for the whole day was driving her mad enough to open up to me.
"Hello? Anypo-, uh, anycreature here?" I corrected myself.
Not hearing a response, I walked closer as I slowly let my guard up. Suspense filled us as I slowly held the axe in front of me. Using it to push away some bushes, I let out an annoyed sigh at the sight.
"It's just a bunny." I said out loud and turned around.
And the two were no longer there.
Suddenly, something powerful slammed into me from behind me. I felt my body lift off as my vision became a blur for a bit.
BUCK! BUCK! BUCK! BUCK! BUCK! BUCK! BUCK! BUCK! BUCK! BUCK! BUCK!
WHY DID WE HAVE TO ENCOUNTER A, WHATEVER THAT THING WAS.
I should've known something like this was gonna happen when I first saw this weird kinky version of Nightmare Moon. Speaking of her, Moonshine was it, isn't she gonna go back to her friend or something? Ponies like that sort of thing right?
As we both ran through dense trees, I felt parts of myself getting scratched by the low hanging branches and earning a few bruises from bumping into some trees.
Gah. If only I could get to someplace slightly less dense with trees, I could get the hay outta here!
Soon enough, I heard a masculine scream coming from behind me. Making the mistake of turning my head back, a sudden impact fell on my head. With my senses becoming muddled, I staggered a bit and fell to the ground as the world started spinning around. I saw a green blur crash into the tree I had ran into, and continue further out of my vision.
"Ughhh." Letting out a confused groan, I tried to move my body again.
Suddenly, I was yanked from my position and felt a sharp sting on my cheek.
"Ow!" I yelped and my mind started to wake up.
I felt and heard something loud falling right behind me. Craning my head, I saw the upper half of a tree laying down on where I just was.
"Get up kid! We gotta run from that hydra!" I was violently shaken by the mare.
"Got it! I got it!" I yelled back and grabbed her hooves before standing up.
Immediate regret came as I instantly felt sluggish and almost fell down again.
"Come on!" I heard her yell with frustration.
We both froze as an axe embedded itself on the trunk of the broken tree. That Natural guy was holding it as he coughed up some blood. He had plenty of small injuries and a large purple are around his chest. Breathing heavily, his eyes slowly traveled to us.
I don't know what it was, but something about his glare was extremely terrifying.
"A little warning would've been nice." He spoke to us with a rough voice.
Before I could think of a response, the ground trembled once again. The, hydra, I think, was walking towards us as its three heads roared to the sky. Its every step sent tremors strong enough to make my body jump on its own.
"Gilda." I heard him call me. "Get the fuck outta here before you die." He told me with a serious voice and walked forwards towards the beast.
"Don't tell me twice." Moonshine spoke up and tried to run.
Natural hooked her back with the axe. "Not you. I need you to act as a distraction." He told her with a hint of amusement in his voice.
"Oh, come on!" She yelled with an annoyed face.
Although I was still slightly dizzy, I could tell by their faces. Moonshine barely cares about dying, and Natural is more angry than scared.
These two are crazy.
"I. Uh. Um. Good luck, I guess." Unable to find the right words, I told them that and started to walk away.
As much as I wanted to sprint, my body wouldn't let me. Flying would be even worse, since I can barely walk straight right now. So I took off at a slow pace.
"Alright Moon, we'll need to either take it down or drive it away before it does too much damage." Remedy told me as he took a running stance.
"Why do we care about the forest damage?" I asked him, more annoyed that I should've been about fighting a hydra.
Seriously. I hate that yellow color of it.
"Because we live here." He responded as if it was the most obvious thing. "Don't cut its head if it isn't necessary." He spoke up before running straight at it.
"Everypony knows that." I replied and ran after him.
How the fuck could I even decapitate it.
Remedy took the lead and climbed up a tree. Taking his signal, I ran up to the hydra and thought of a way to distract it.
"HEY!" I shouted as loud as I could. "WHY DON'T YOU FUCK OFF! YOU SHIT FOR BRAINS!" With that, I stared as the hydra heads slowly turned to me one by one.
OH SHIT!
Cussing in my mind, I rolled away as a head crashed into the spot where I had stood.
"You blind or something?!" I continued to annoy it.
At my insult, the head that crashed into the ground rose slightly and looked me in the eyes.
While shouting some other profanities, I picked up speed and started running. Weaving through the trees, I heard plenty of the forest being thrown away for the sake it chasing me down.
"REMEDY! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!" I shouted to the sky as I kept running.
I was only met with the stomping of the hydra and its roars. Loud thumping to the ground and a roar of anger.
Wait. That doesn't sound right.
After realising that the roar felt more pained than angry, I turned to look towards the hydra.
"What the fuck!?" I was absolutely shocked as I stared at the hydra with a tree sticking out of its chest.
It roared again at another direction. Following its roar, I saw Remedy picking up another tree with a somewhat sharpened end, creating a makeshift spear, or a stake. With a shout he threw it at the hydra. It smacked it out of the air.
I simply stared for a few seconds. "Holy shit." I muttered in shock.
"REMEDY! FUCK DO I DO!" I yelled the question.
"KEEP DISTRACTING IT! I NEED TO GET A CLEAR SHOT!"
"ALRIGHT!"
With my task at hoof, I took off towards the hydra, who was currently roaring and smashing its heads at the spot where Remedy was.
"HEY! WHY DON'T YOU GO SUCK YOUR MOMMA'S TITS! YOU BIG BABY! OR ARE YOU TOO MUCH OF A BITCH TO FACE HER!" Shouting another insult, I ran past the hydra who looked towards me once more.
Wait, that's only one head.
Realizing my mistake, I looked back and saw two of its heads roaring at the one in the middle. The middle one roared back with clear agitation in its voice.
As I was starting to get slightly nervous, I saw another tree flying through the air and stick itself into the hydra. All three heads roared in pain as it started to chase after Remedy once again.
I ran after it once again. Fuck, I'm tired.
Oh. Fuck.
I silently cursed in my mind as I stared at the jaw that was coming towards me.
After about half an hour of constant back and forth, I was finally caught as I was too tired from all that running.
The hydra started to fully focus Remedy halfway through, thus allowing itself to other dodge or block most of the tree spears Remedy threw at it. There were seven trees stuck in its chest in total.
Just as I let my guard down, I got caught by surprise. Staring at the slimy insides of its mouth, all I felt was an utter sense of disgust.
"FU-!" My scream was cut off as I was swallowed.
Gross. Gross. This is disgusting.
I could only complain in my mind as I struggled to get a grip on anything.
"YOU SHOULD WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP!" I yelled out as I struggled to keep myself from puking at the pungent smell.
I feel so dirty right now.
"REMEDY! GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I yelled in hopes of him finding out a way.
I felt myself going down through its neck. The walls felt so slimy.
"Eep!" I let out a surprised sound as an axe head stopped about a breath away from my face.
I watched as the axe was slowly pulled back outside, and two hooves came through the tear in the hydra throat. Pulling hard, he ripped it open as I finally got some fresh air.
I stared in slight awe as he stood there with the axe in his mouth, panting heavily whilst covered in blood. The sun shone behind him like he was some sort of angel.
"What the fuck?" I asked absentmindedly. "LOOK OUT!" I yelled as I saw another head rushing right in.
Without even a moment to think, I was thrown to the air by him as I screamed on the way down. Panicking, I unfurled my wings to at least glide on the way down. They creaked in pain as I hadn't used them for a while.
A groan escaped my mouth as I saw the ground fast approaching.
"Ok. How did Luna use her wings again?" Going off of memory, I tried to imitate flapping my wings the only way I knew how. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Cussing my heart out, I started panicking more and more as the ground got ever so closer.
Right as I was about to hit the ground, I felt a rather weak impact as I closed my eyes.
"What the hay!?" I heard a rather rough voice speak out in shock.
I opened my eyes and looked at the pony holding me.
"Oh! The gay one!" I recognized the rainbow maned pegasus. "Thank you, so much." I hugged her tightly as we got down.
"Uhhhhh." She seemed to be extremely confused by something.
Letting go of her, I stood on the ground with a stagger. I never want to fly again.
"Get away from her, Rainbow!" I heard another familiar voice.
Just as I was about to speak up, I was hit by something as I flew away. Did the hydra catch up that fast?
Slamming into a tree, I stopped as I slowly down. Groaning heavily, I no longer had the energy to stand up.
"No! Don't shoot her. Shoot the bucking hydra." I heard GIlda yell out.
After hearing Gilda's yell, I turned my attention towards her. Although I was still mad about her being a jerk towards Pinkie, I still gathered the girls and went to the Everfree when she said that there were two ponies fighting a hydra.
As fake as it sounded, her injuries and overall tone told me that she wasn't lying.
"Do you even know who-"
My question was interrupted as I stared at the hydra that had fallen down. It had trees sticking out of its chest, one of its heads were cut off. It was still alive, just wounded badly.
As me and the girls, plus Gulda, all stared in shock, I saw something moving in its chest.
After confirming that the hydra was no longer moving, I started walking closer. I took a peek at Nightmare Moon to see her knocked down.
The others followed me and we stood in front of the spot where something was moving. It was like something was trying to get out.
"Eugh, gross." Rainbow complained.
To be honest, it did look rather gross.
"Should we do something about this?" Rarity asked with hesitation.
"Well, I can try a cutting spell." I explained and moved closer to aim my horn at it.
Only to be cut off as I saw a broken stick pierce through the skin and keep going. Aiming straight at me.
"TWILIGHT!" I heard my friends worried shout.
I involuntarily shut my eyes, expecting to feel a sharp pain of sorts. Only to feel nothing but a tap on my nose. Carefully peeking out, I saw the stick, barely touching my snout.
"Whew. Thank Celestia." I almost collapsed down as I saw the stick being dropped by a red hoof.
Looking towards the base, I saw another hoof sticking out as both hooves grip the hole that was torn through. I felt queezy as I stared at the blood that kept flowing out of the wound.
"Wait. Somepony's in there!" I had the sudden realization as I thought of opening the wound.
Then I stopped as I saw the tear get larger, and a loud yell as a red pony becomes visible. Heavily panting with blood flowing down through his body, he simply steps out with a fierce glare that sent shivers down my spine. His irises were a light green, and his pupils were a deep green.
I heard somepony puke behind me as I had my sights locked on the new pony. He slowly took a look around as I felt like there was a certain aura around him that terrified me. Something cold, and cruel. Something bloodthirsty.
"MOON!" He suddenly shouted, waking me up from my stupor.
"WHAT!" I heard Nightmare Moon yell in a tone I never expected from her.
"FUCK YOU FOR NOT WARNING ME!" He yelled back and promptly face planted to the ground.
Soon enough, I heard him snoring.