When we got to the grounds a few minutes early, we were met with a visibly frustrated Coach Scootaloo watching a sunglass-wearing web-winged pony stallion meddle with a phone on a tripod.
There were many names for that tribe—night pony, amazon, thestral, nocturns, cave ponies, forest ponies, urbanists, dream ponies, and sometimes bat pony, although the last was considered derogatory and never said in their presence as they tended to be much more aggressive and vicious than the other tribes, making it your fault if one of them mauled you for saying the forbidden term. The sunglasses were standard among their kind during the day because their eyes were highly sensitive to light, and sunlight was often too much for them. They were fewer in number than the other tribes, tending to gather together in conclaves in the bigger Earth cities where they were still outnumbered by almost every other tribe, but were able to get some voice in local politics by pooling enough of their numbers. They rarely traveled to the countryside and rural areas, as that left them isolated from their tribe, and though they were never truly alone when asleep, they still longed for the company of their kind when awake—they claimed day ponies, as they called the other tribes, could never fully understand them. It was said they were even fewer in number on Equestria than on Earth, having one city and a few small towns, all deep in the Foal Mountains, their numbers having been decimated to near extinction in some long-ago conflict. They were a strange tribe with magic and instincts that felt alien to the other tribes, putting them on the fringes of pony society. I'd seen them on TV before, but never in person, not until now.
“Do we really need this newfangled tech thing?” Coach Scootaloo was saying to the nocturnal pony.
The stallion grimaced. “This thing is a very simple phone design that is almost thirty years old. It is hardly newfangled. Unfortunately, modern phones need constant Wi-Fi access to do basic tasks, and Equestria lacks Wi-Fi. So you are going to be dealing with this vintage relic.”
“Sounds like the old version is better,” Scootaloo said.
“If you like limited storage and a tiny fraction of the processing power, it doesn't even come with a drone function or standard hologram keyboard projection, but this serves its purpose here,” the stallion grumbled. “Your headmaster wants a visual record of your class working out for promotional purposes. This is how you get it. Worry about your class, and stop worrying about what I'm doing.”
“I've never seen a bat pony before,” Summer said in wonder.
The stallion spared us a dirty look.
“Don't call them that. They don't like it,” Hannah said. “They say if you insult too many of them, the Queen of Nightmares will give you bad dreams.”
“That's just a foal's tale that she does that, but still, you shouldn't call them that if you want to get along with them,” I added.
“Oh, sorry,” Summer said. “Do you mean Luna when you say Queen of Nightmares?”
I shook my head. “No, it's a pony back on Earth, but they say Luna gifted her with great power. There's all kinds of stories about how she scares foals, but I've never met anyone who was visited by her.”
“I have,” Hannah said as Onyx and Rocky walked up. “There was this bully back in school, always picking on weaker foals. The Queen of Nightmares apparently took issue with this, and she came into his dreams. He wouldn't say what she did, only that she confronted him, but whatever she did shook him. He never picked on a foal again. He actually became kind of a nice guy after a while. There's all kinds of stories about how she comes to punish bad foals.”
The stallion stopped what he was doing to look directly at us. “That's right. She happens to be my big sister…adopted sister, and if you foals ever visit Earth, you better be good, or she'll get you.”
“Don't try to scare them,” Coach Scootaloo chided. “I don't think your sister would appreciate you using her to scare them.”
The stallion shrugged. “She's cool with it. She gets a kick out of being the monster under the bed that mothers use to warn foals into good behavior. Having people afraid of her gives her some warped amusement, especially since once you get to know her in person, you have a hard time being afraid of her. She's so dainty, bakes you sweets, and jumps in terror at unexpected noises—not exactly monster material.”
“That doesn't seem so bad,” Summer said, perking her ears up.
The stallion gave her an evil smile. “However, she's a whole other story when asleep and uses nightmares to help teach ponies lessons. It is never just a punishment. She isn't about just intimidating you into doing what she wants. Her nightmares are to teach you about yourself or give you a new perspective—so you can be a better pony or less of a walking piece of horsecrap. I've been on the receiving end of one of those once. I admit that I deserved it; I was being a total jerk to someone who didn't deserve it, and my nightmare sis decided she had enough and did something about it.”
Scootaloo sighed. “We're in Equestria. Nopony needs to worry about her.”
The stallion looked back to Scootaloo as Prim approached. “But I heard next year's games will be held at the Skytree Institute of Magic. That's basically on her front lawn. Best to know what they're in for.”
“Next year, not now,” Scootaloo reiterated. “Are you done setting up that doohickie?”
The stallion nodded as Twilight Glow and Lunar Light arrived. “All good to go. Have fun with your gym stuff.” He then spread his wings and flew a short distance to be under the shade of a nearby tree.
“What a strange pony,” Red commented.
“Earthlings are weird,” Coach Scootaloo said with an exasperated sigh.
“I'm an Earthling, so is Turnip!” Hannah protested while pointing at me.
Scootaloo rubbed her head while looking down. “Sweetie's going to be mad at me. Don't put your hoof in your mouth on the first day, Scoots. You've got this. You deal with foals all the time,” she muttered. She then looked up and smiled. “Well, weird is just another word for unique and interesting!”
Not the most graceful save ever.
“Anyway,” the coach said as she scanned us with her eyes. “Looks like you are all here now, so we can begin. I'm Coach Scootaloo. A little about myself—you might notice that my wings are tiny; I was born with underdeveloped wings, and they never grew to full size. I can manage very short flights—enough to get me over a big gap that I might not be able to jump, come down softly from a height, or hover for a few seconds, but I've never been able to fly properly. I found other ways of using my wings and became a good athlete. Just because you don't have earth pony strength and pegasi flight doesn't mean you can't all be athletic.”
I raised a hoof. “Um, I'm an earth pony.”
She rubbed her head again. “Right…I kinda had this speech planned out for a bunch of unicorn students.” Summer raised a hoof, and Scootaloo facehoofed. “Okay, I get it.”
“You're doing great!” the stallion yelled from his shady spot under the tree.
“Don't know if he's trying to be encouraging or sarcastic,” Scootaloo muttered. “Alright, everypony…and everyrin-”
“Everypony is fine,” Summer interjected.
Scootaloo visibly took a deep breath. “Okay, everypony, I know that you are all at magic school, and your focus is on magic, but a strong and healthy body helps with that just as much as it helps with an athlete. Using magic can take a toll on the body. I heard about a pony who once strained herself so much using magic that she literally started bleeding everywhere, and her fur was so soaked in blood that it seemed to be black. I hope nopony here ever has to strain themselves that much, but it highlights what magic can do to you when you are pushing yourself hard. It is important that you keep yourselves healthy and fit with regular workouts and good eating habits. These are important to everypony, not just mages, and anypony can learn how to properly care for their body. That's why I'm here, to ensure you learn the right habits to keep you fit.”
“Do you think she left bloody hoofprints everywhere she walked, and everything she touched, she ended up smearing blood on?” the stallion asked.
Scootaloo looked at him in disgust. “How can you even think about that?”
“How can I not?” he countered. “I mean, the imagery is just so…wow.”
“I presume she did, and I presume it hurt a lot,” Scootaloo answered in exasperation. “Can you stop interrupting? You are distracting me while I'm trying to stress the importance of physical fitness to my students.”
The stallion held the little thumb nubs on his wings up. “Sure thing! You're doing great! Hey! I was told I needed to be more supportive and complimentary and not so crude and mean. Am I doing a good job?”
Scootaloo gave him a forced smile. “You’re doing great!”
“Great!” the stallion called back. “You know, the trick is that every time I want to call you a technologically impaired hick, I say you're doing great. Who knew it was this easy to be supportive and complimentary? I will be the most supportive and complimentary pony on this planet.”
“Great…” Scootaloo said with bemusement.
“You're doing great!” the stallion reiterated.
Well, at least I wasn't bored by gym class so far.
The coach stood up straight as she could and spread her wings, which were indeed fairly tiny.
“Okay, students! I think we have had enough talking. I'm about action,” she announced. “I want you all to put your saddlebags in a pile near me. Afterward, we'll do some stretches and then jog a few laps around the school building to warm up. Then the real workout can begin.”
So much for not being bored. I hated running.
It ended up being ten laps around the school, which I found nine too many. I wasn't at all winded by it. Being an earth pony did come with certain advantages. I was just bored. Hannah and Bright kept pace with me the entire time, as did Rocky and Onyx. Summer had started tiring out around lap five, and Red not long after that, although both eventually finished the entire ten laps. Twilight Glow fell flat on his face on the ninth lap and was taken over to the shade by Scootaloo. Lunar Light looked like he might end up falling over, too, but eventually got through the tenth lap. One of us was struggling more than the others, and the way she was panting, the sweat she was dripping, and the greenish hue of her face almost made me feel sorry for her.
Prim passed in front of Coach Scootaloo to complete another lap. Her jog at this point was barely more than a crawl as she struggled to put one hoof in front of the other.
“Am…am…am I done…yet,” Prim panted as she glanced at Scootaloo.
“That's only seven, but I think you're done all the same,” Coach Scootaloo said as she looked Prim over. “Sit down in the shade. I'll get you some water.”
Prim pulled her tongue back in her mouth and set her jaw as she picked up pace just a little. “No! I'm…I'm going to finish this! I'm not going to be outdone by everypony!”
“No, you are going to sit down and take a break before you hurt yourself. That's a direct order,” Coach Scootaloo said firmly. “Everypony else is done. Part of fitness training is knowing when you have pushed yourself too much. You're severely out of shape. If you push yourself too hard, you will make yourself sick and possibly tear a muscle. We'll get you where you can do the ten laps, but it isn't happening today. Sit, relax, and get something to drink. You'll be doing light stretches for the rest of the class to make sure you don't cramp up—along with the half the class that had a hard time doing ten laps. They also pushed themselves hard, just not as hard as you.”
Prim sat, and there were tears in her eyes as she looked at the coach. “But I can't afford to fail!”
“You aren't failing this class on day one, don't worry,” Scootaloo assured her. “Shade, now. The others mentioned can join her over by our supportive light-sensitive stallion.”
“Great effort!” the stallion called out. He then climbed the tree he had been sitting under, startling everyone who watched. Climbing trees was not something hooved creatures typically did, at least not most tribes. There was a reason they were sometimes called forest ponies.
Scootaloo shepherded Prim, Summer, Twilight, Lunar, and Red over to the shade, got them some water, and then focused on walking them through some stretches they could do while sitting. The stallion was probably watching, hidden among the branches of the tree. That left the other five of us standing around in the sun, wondering what we should be doing.
“Ah thought that there Twilight Glow was outta shape, but the prissy filly would be plum worn out tryin' to feed a bunch of sleepin' chicks,” Bright remarked.
Rocky stretched and flexed. “Well, some of us are more natural athletes than others.”
“Yeah!” Onyx agreed and raised a hoof towards Rocky, who clapped it with his own.
Hannah batted her eyes at Onyx. “How do you feel about athletic fillies who can keep up the pace with you?”
Onyx pushed himself back, butt sliding across the ground. “I…uh…they're…nice….”
A wandering part of my mind wondered if Rocky and Onyx were more than good friends. They were always in each others' company, and Onyx was clearly uncomfortable with a filly hitting on him. Other than being together all the time, there wasn't any strong evidence for it. The pair had been friends before coming to the school, and they were roommates, so it made sense that they would continue to hang around each other. I guess that part of my brain was only wondering that because a small part of me wanted to see Hannah flabbergasted that she was coming on so strong to a gay colt, just for the amusement factor. She’d get over it, but that might mean she'd transfer that interest to some other colt in class since she made it clear on the first day she thought she had pick of the litter due to supply and demand. That made me hope Onyx wasn't gay because I wasn't sure I could deal with a filly coming onto me like that. Red probably wouldn't return the interest of any non-noble. Twilight and Lunar didn't seem her type. Bright was a possibility; he was athletic and reasonably well-connected. She might indeed have pick of the litter. Summer might be the most appealing filly under normal circumstances. Summer was quiet, sweet, and exotic, but I think every colt might also be a little wary of her, considering any argument with her could result in her bursting into flame. The threat of immolation was a turn-off. Love might be described as a burning fire, but I doubted that most wanted that to be literal. Still, that was more appealing than being with Prim.
I decided to save Onyx again. At some point, he might owe me a favor. “So, Hannah, Rocky and Onyx obviously work out. Bright grew up on a farm. I'm an earth pony. How'd you get to be so strong and athletic?”
She stopped tormenting Onyx to look at me. “I may not have grown up on a farm, but I still grew up doing a lot of heavy work. My parents are salvagers and ran a scrapyard. Even when I was too young to use my horn, I tried to help out. We were always pulling appliances and cars apart to get usable parts or scrap metal. It was hard work, and even when I got to using my horn, I would still put a harness on and haul things around, just out of habit. Doing all that built up my muscles.”
“Gathering metal is cool. My dad is really into metallurgy,” Onyx said.
Hannah immediately started making doe eyes at him again. “And what are you into?”
“I…uh…stuff…”
Welp, I'd done my best to save him, but some people couldn't allow themselves to be saved. I decided to try once more since I had nothing better to do.
“Do you think that stallion over there really is the Queen of Nightmare's adopted brother?” I asked Hannah.
Hannah took her eyes off Onyx again, this time to look at the tree the stallion was hiding in the branches of. “Not sure. He does seem to be from Earth since he knows all about phones, but he seems a little young to be her brother. She's been in that position for over thirty years, so she's got to be in her fifties, if not older. He doesn't even look like he's thirty, so that's a huge age gap. I think he's just making things up. Who from Equestria would know any better?”
“I heard him say next year's games were being held somewhere called Skytree, and the coach didn't correct him, ” Rocky said. “Is Skytree on Earth?”
“Yeah, it is,” I confirmed. “It's a newer city that has massive trees.”
“It isn't that big. It's like three times the size of Canterlot,” Hannah added. “The trees are supposed to be the biggest in existence and break the rules about how tall trees can get. They say some residents track time by where the trees' shadow falls on the city because it is like a giant sundial. They also say there is a big forest just beyond the city that has zombies in it, but I don't believe that part.”
“I heard everyone in the city is secretly a ninja assassin,” I added.
“That one's just silly and stupid,” Hannah said with a snort.
“Next year, we’ll be the ones competing in the games. Guess that means I'll get to see if all the stories about Earth are true,” Rocky said with a grin. “I don't believe cities get that big. I'd believe the stories about zombies in the woods before I believe a million ponies can live in one city.”
Going back to Earth was a troubling idea. I wondered if there was any way I could get out of doing the games.
Scootaloo returned. “Alright, while they are doing some light stretches, you five will be doing a legitimate race. Just one lap around the school. After that, I'll have you join the others in relaxing, and we can start discussing nutrition.”
Ugh! Someone save me and send me back to regular magic classes.