//------------------------------// // It’s Got Spiders, Spiders, and Even Spiders! // Story: Princess I Shrunk The Human - also there’s an an army of spiders under my house // by Burt //------------------------------// “Y’know, for some reason I’ve come to the realization that you’d look sick as hell in a funny little hat or something.” Anon grunts, holding the small spider in his hands how one might a burger. Despite his disgustingly hairy body, far too many legs, sharp fangs and ungodly amount of eyes, the man would admit the thing’s awed expression was… at the bare minimum, inoffensive. “Funny… little hat?” Mew squeaks, limp in the human’s hands. Seemingly unbothered by being held, and simply letting himself droop within his grasp. Anon nods. “Yessir. Funny little hats can make even the scariest of monsters into goobers.” Then he drops Mew onto the floor, where he plants softly onto the plush webbing below, before immediately racing back up Anon’s leg and shoulder. Hopping up and down until Anon palms him into his hands again and repeats the process. At least it was something mindless to do. As he thought about how strange his day had turned out. “WHAT IS… A GOOBER?” Betty is almost too big for the little alcove they were in. Nearly scraping against the ‘ceiling’ even as she lay on the floor. “The pillars of any decent society, and the most powerful individuals in a caste based social ladder. But that’s besides the point.” Anon snorts. “So spider webs huh?” He pats the ‘bedding’ he was sitting on after letting Mew flop onto the ground once again. Even if the webbing reminded him that he was in fact in a spider’s den, and that made him want to curl up into a ball, the material practically glittered in opulence. The thick strands so plush it actually reminded him of silk… not even his bed was this soft. “What’s the deal with this stuff?” “SPIDER SILK… THIS IS ONE OF MANY ROOMS WHERE IT IS PRODUCED. MY CHILDREN PREFER RESTING HERE AS OPPOSED TO THE DAMP STONE.” “Fair enough. You did say you’d take me somewhere more comfortable.” Anon hums before crying out as Mew crawls up his back instead of his side. “Don’t DO that!” He shakes at the skin crawling revulsion. “Sorry…” Mew whines, chittering sadly into Anon’s ear. “R-right… just don’t crawl up me when I’m not paying attention. Scares the shit outta me…” Anon huffs, trying to regain a steady breathing pattern. “Okay… can… can we still play?” Mew asks quietly. Anon gulps dryly before begrudgingly picking Mew up again. He shakes his head, before a small bemused smile eventually finds its way on his face. “You’re easily entertained, you know that?” “This is the most fun I’ve had in my entire life!” Mew wriggles his body and legs in excitement, which makes Anon drop him in fear. “Ugh…” Anon itches his neck in discomfort. “Not too much movement, Mew.” He mutters. “Sorry, again…” And so Mew goes back to sitting limp the next time he’s held. “WHAT WILL BE YOUR PLAN ONCE YOU’VE SEEN ALL WE HAVE TO OFFER?” “Well…” Anon purses his lips. “I’m sure Twilight is freaking out right now… so I’ll probably need to get back home. However I’ll accomplish that.” He adds with a mutter. “You… you want to leave?”Mew pauses on the floor instead of climbing, staring up at Anon in wide, sad eyes. “You won’t leave forever right?” Anon would prefer to never look back if he had the choice. But there was guilt in that desire. If his hosts wanted to eat him, they would’ve done it awhile ago. Maybe he was being unfair. “Well… I’m sure I can still visit. But I would have to find away out of here first.” “WE HAVE MANY WAYS TO RETURN YOU TO THE SURFACE.” “Word?” “WE HAVE TUNNELS THAT CONNECT TO MANY HOMES ABOVE THE SURFACE.” “Jesus fucking Christ how horrifying.” “MY CHILDREN AND I ENJOY WATCHING THE PONIES ABOVE. THEY LIVE INTERESTING LIVES.” “So uh… you ever watch me before?” “NO. I DO BELIEVE TODAY IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER SEEN YOU.” “Well I do live on the outskirts….” Anon shrugs. “WE COULD BUILD A TUNNEL TO YOUR PLACE OF REST… FOR EASY ACCESS.” “NO! No, haha… I’m good.” Anon gulps. “Please don’t.” “HMPH. IF YOU INSIST.” “But then we could visit whenever we wanted!” Mew jumps on Anon’s shoulder. “How will we do that if we don’t build a tunnel?” “You don’t, that’s the point…” Anon mutters. “I AM SURE HE HAS HIS REASONS, LITTLE MEW.” Betty makes a sound very similar to a hum. “HAVE YOU RESTED WELL ENOUGH, ANON?” “Huh? Oh, I guess…” “GOOD, I WISH TO PROPERLY INTRODUCE YOU TO THE REST OF MY CHILDREN. IM SURE THEY’LL BE LESS OVERBEARING NOW THAT THEY’VE FED ON SOME MUSHROOMS.” “Shit… I almost forgot that there were more of you.” Time has made a fool of Celestia many times. Such is the way of longevity. You may mature; wisen with experience and learn to play the game, but the rules you spent so long dancing around were not consistent. Planning can only take you so far… analyzing behavior can only take you so far. Because at the end of the day, you cannot always truly understand what lay ahead of you in a world dictated by chance. You will fail, no matter how much time you’ve dedicated to making sure mistakes didn’t happen. Sometimes, you experience a first. And you are reminded that despite existing for so long, there is still much to learn. So what lesson does this provide? A home vanishes. Seemingly carved from exist itself; no warning, no conceivable explanation. So why? “Could this be… Tirek’s doing?” Luna hisses a whisper, eyebrows knit deeply. A scowl on her face as she seemingly attempts to burn the anomaly with her gaze alone. As if it may wither under her gaze and make sense. “Tirek takes the magic of individuals,” Both sisters stand next to one another. The cornered off section of what was once the library had been contained by their military. Celestia has a similar expression on her face as she breathes deeply through her nose. “Surely if he was powerful enough to do this we’d have already seen battle. He is anything but patient.” The pit radiated a strange aura that only made her more unnerved the longer they stood near it. “It cannot be Tirek…” “How can you be so sure, sister?” Luna mutters. “My magic doesn’t fizzle; it doesn’t drain. Luna, it dies.” Celestia shivers. “There’s nothing there. No resistance. No barrier. No pull to coerce my magic away. But you can feel it can’t you? This… whine.” “There has to be an explanation. We have come across many a dead zone in the past. Perhaps this one is simply stronger? Harder to push against?” “Try to reach out.” Celestia nods to the crater. Luna raises a brow, looking to her side. “Sister?” “Reach out. You’ll see.” Luna shuffles, before turning her head back to the crater. She closes eyes in deep concentration, and her horn begins to glow. Bright energy ebbs from her consciousness, invisible to the naked eye as it pushes forward. But as the extensions of herself gets closer, wading through the dormant energy much like one might swim through a body of water, something feels… wrong. She grits her teeth. Bitting down a sudden spike of anxiety as she felt… Nothing. One moment her magic is sifting through a strange void, and the next, it’s as if she never even used it in the first place. It wasn’t a severing of the connection, as much as she’d simply forgotten the connection. Luna flinches back. “What manner of…?” “I dare not risk one of our ponies stumbling into this… void. I shiver to imagine what it would do.” Celestia glares. “Although I’m hesitant to use the elements of harmony.” Luna lowers her head, eying her sister as she speaks in a low tone. “Spike has not been found?” “No, and neither has Anonymous.” “And you think this thing is to blame?” “Yes, I do. But if we destroy it…” “We may never see them again.” Celestia breathes deeply. “I pray that will not come to pass.” “I’m at a lost, sister… what do we do?” Luna mutters. This situation was as strange as it was frightening. “Remiss as I am to say this, but perhaps Discord could be of help.” Celestia sighs. “Bending the rules of nature is what he’s good at. At the mean time. May I ask a favor of you?” Luna nods. “Twilight needs to occupy herself. This whole troubling event—she blames herself. Could you show her Starswirl’s personal studies? Perhaps we may even get lucky and stumble upon something regarding… this.” Luna smiles sadly. “His personal studies? You do want her occupied.” Celestial returns the sad smile. “I need to think of what to say say to her, if I cannot fix this.” Her feathers ruffle and her eyebrows furrow. Was it just her, or was the grass surrounding the crater growing… duller? “THIS ONE IS GERTRUDE.” “Hey… buddy.” “SHE IS MUTE.” “Oh.” Gertrude waves. Anon waves back and snickers. “Hello Gert.” Before she suddenly skitters behind Betty. Showing very little of herself as she leans out from behind her mother. “Did I say something wrong?” “SHE IS SKITTISH.” Betty clicks. Before pointing a single hairy leg at another spider. “THIS IS CLEM.” “Heh, I don’t even need to shorten their name!” “Clem.” “Uh… yes, hello Clem.” “Clem.” “HE SPEAKS ONLY WITH THE WORD CLEM.” “Clem.” “Did… you name him Clem because it’s the only thing he can say?” “Clem.” “I MAY HAVE.” “I’M LEVITICUS,” The largest baby spider, about the same height as Celestia, cuts in seemingly unable to hold still. “THE GREATEST MC TO EVER HAVE HER GRIP ON THE MIC.” “Yeah, I’m gonna call you Levi from now on.” “SHIET DOG, I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE CHILL LIKE THAT.” “LEVI IS MY ELDEST. SHE WILL BE QUEEN ONE DAY.” Leviticus preens under the attention. “WE DO QUEENLY SHIT UP IN THIS BITCH, CUH.” “Why… why does she talk like that?” “LEVI IS… GIFTED. THE OOZE SPEAKS TO HER, AND SHE’S ABLE TO LISTEN. IT HAS FOREVER EFFECTED HER WAY OF SPEECH.” “What does it tell her?” “IT SHARES ESOTERIC KNOWLEDGE OF A TIME LONG SINCE PASSED. ONLY SHE CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT IS BEING SAID.” “I CAN MAKE AN ORANGE RYME WITH BANNA.” “Really?” “BOOOORNANA.” Anon gasped in surprise. “How did you do that?!” Betty points again. “THIS ONE IS JULIUS.” “Hello. I’m Julius.” He speaks in a deep and dull tone. “…so what’s your character trait gimmick?” “I don’t know what you mean.” “JULIUS IS THE GREATEST SILK SPINNER OF MY ENTIRE BROOD.” “I can spin you a sweater if you’d like.” “Uh, I’m good. Thanks for the offer.” “I will spin you a sweater.” Julius’ tone grows dark. “Why did you say that like it’s a threat?!” “SO, YOU’VE MET SOME OF MY CHILDREN, HOW ABOUT THE REST?” Betty places a leg on a web and pulls it back, before letting it snap back into place. Where it warbles like sheet metal bending back and forth. A rumble seems to shake the cave. Before hundreds of familiar baby spiders emerge from the many holes in the cave, and quickly surround the group. “hello again not food, hello again not food, hello again not food!” They all say in unison. “We finished eating our delicious mushrooms!” A tiny voice shouts triumphantly, unaware of the many bombastic side-eyes that were sent their way. However their brothers and sisters are cowed by Betty, who narrows her eyes to scrutinize their movements. This spider would not be jumped… this time. Betty nods to Anon. “AS YOU CAN SEE, QUITE A FEW MORE.” “Damn.” Anon was probably gonna be here for hours.