//------------------------------// // Ponynaut Dossier: Soarin // Story: Ad Astra Per Derpy Aspera // by SparklingTwilight //------------------------------// Applicant Dossier #003: Soarin "Soarin, at your service," the dark blue pegasus inclined his head. "Hoofsberg, between Gatlingberg and Tackling." "Nope, I never met Elvis, or saw his ghost. Don't even play guitar myself. Just a country-ish boy at heart who remembers crop dustin' a field or two." "You're right, I don't affect an accent when I'm usually speaking. I was born in Hoofsberg and grew up there, but in my adolescence, I moved to Manehatten to train for the Wonderbolts. Left the country behind." "I've been serving for a number of years. My specialties are aerial maneouvers and artistry. Cloud dancing, et cetera." "I joined the Program due to a bet. Rainbow Dash said no stallion could make it to the moon and back." "I don't think she was being mare-supremacist about it. I think she wanted her wingstallion at her side and figured I wouldn't sign up otherwise." "She wasn't wrong. I've no interest in space, but I am interested in getting Dash to do the Wonderbolts' laundry for a year. The right way. When she was a newbie, she shrunk all our uniforms. Three times." "I guess it is pretty stupid to want her to do it again. She also put too much detergent in and had us all itching for a week, once. But she really hates doing it." "No, I don't hate her. I tease because I like her! As a Captain. It's comradely. Don't earth ponies do something similar?" "Well, you're missing out. Little japes, jibes really bring ponies together." "Next of Kin? My parents, a couple siblings, nieces, nephews." "Not married, ma'am. There aren't a lot of stallions to go around, so I figured I'd live the celibate life." "Not all the time. I had a minor medical incident once and swore it off after that." "It's in my medical files. I'd rather not discuss it." "Yes, I could use protection if I feel like exploring what's out there, but I need to keep in tip-top shape. Don't want distractions. It's never a good idea to hang out too much with groupies. Gets to one's character. Wears on one's soul. Probably will go looking, though, after I settle down and I'm not swamped with adoration. Besides, any pony: mare or stallion or whatever can imagine themselves with me now. If I settle, then they won't," Soarin beamed. "Sure, I like the attention. And the sponsorship deals. I'm going to be able to relax." "Might retire in a few years. Nopony stays too long in the Wonderbolts. I could see myself helping out again at the farm and in the community. Skywriting, crop dusting again. Good calm tasks." "No foals. Couldn't happen." "No. I wouldn't take money from a mare. I'm not money-mad. I just want some honest bits and then I won't need to bother with promotions and signing autographs." "I am not planning to adopt children. I like foals, but I'm a terrible uncle. Wouldn't be a good dad." "Okay. You got me there with those recommendations from my siblings and their progeny. I admit it. I'd be glad to have a foal and I regret not having one. Maybe something will happen after I retire. But I don't need the distraction now. I'm great at my job, but that's because I focus on improving myself. If I don't focus, I'll lose my edge. Not everypony can be Blaze. Don't know how she does it." "Blaze is a fellow 'bolt. She's got four kids and returned to the job each time only two days after giving birth!" "No, there's nothing between me and Blaze. Didn't we just go over this?" "Fears?" "Commitment, probably. I'll admit it. Connection, yeah. I'd rather joke about things than not. I'm self-aware, but I'm doing what I want on my terms." "Don't worry about it! I'm happy! See this smile?" "That's all? This was a really easy interview!" Soarin, the only stallion considered for the program's first round, had an impeccable record. It started rather poor in elementary school, improved in flight school, then his marks and achievements ballooned when he reached Manehatten and he received his private tutoring and eighteen hour-a-day training. Cleared for project Marred Mare. What they didn't know, until he was hospitalized, was that he used performance enhancing drugs.