//------------------------------//
// 5) Oxidane 
// Story: Feghoot 
// by Dan_s Comments 
//------------------------------//

Oxidane

There were times Twilight wished her friends were less - enthusiastic.  Yes, enthusiastic was a polite way of putting it.  The fliers Pinkie Pie had put up for a town meeting would help.  Pinkie hadn't meant it to, she had meant to 'warn' everypony, i.e., spread the panic, but Twilight could use it to end the hysteria.

So Twilight had a scroll from Princess Celestia, a separate one from Princess Luna, and the largest chemistry book she had.

The other bearers were there, along with Discord.  For once, the chaos in Ponyville and slowly spreading to the rest of Equestria had nothing to do with him.  She idly wondered if he resented that even a little bit.

She did resent that he hadn't helped lessen it, but every time somepony brought it up around him, he literally dissolved in laughter.  The sight of dozens and dozens of tiny mouths on scattered pieces of draconequus would forever haunt her dreams.  Thus the panic intensified, and the latest rumor was that 'even Discord is affected  by it.'

"I heard it will dissolve any metal!" came the anguish cry among the flower ponies.

"It's involved in more deaths than any other industrial chemical," the panicked mayor said.

Twilight sighed.

"I heard it is involved with more boiler explosions than anything else," one of the train engineers gasped.

"I heard even a small amount can kill you!" a plumber said.

Twilight sighed.

"I heard once you survived exposure, you have to keep drinking it, or you'll die!" Rarity exclaimed and swooned.

"Is it true the gas form can give terrible burns?" Fluttershy asked.

Twilight sighed.

The meeting wasn't officially set to begin, but Twilight thought it was important she take the stage first, and hopefully nopony else would need to speak.

"I heard when it's solid it can give you burns too!"

Et tu Sweetie Belle, Twilight thought as she passed terrified huddle of the Crusaders and their antagonists Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

"It's in the water supply!" gasped Cheerlee, who should have known better.

"Easy we jist ban Di - ah maxin hide," Applejack said, "From the water supply."

"Dihydro monoxide," Derpy said as she stood beside a vastly amused Time Turner, "And removing that from water isn't as easy as that."

"SILENCE!" Discord thundered and gestured at the stage.  He gave her a wink, then loudly pointed out she'd arrived, with a stream of exploding, neon banjos.

Twilight sighed again but set the scrolls where everypony could see the Royal Seals, and the massive book clearly labeled 'CHEMISRTY' on the spine, she glared at Discord and the title returned to CHEMISTRY.  "When I heard about the concerns about Dihydro monoxide, all the concerns, I contacted Princesses Celestia and Luna separately, and the Royal Academy, and all three have independently confirmed what my research had already verified.  Our water does not, never has and never will contain Dihydro monoxide, two words, nor dihydromonoxide, one word.  This is something spread by the uneducated and comes from an ancient rumor spread by our enemies, or from one tribe to another during the Three Kingdoms period, and something we've all outgrown."

Twilight pulled out a scroll.  "Per the Royal Academy, 'Per our best scientists, and backed by Royal Decree by the Highest Authority: water in Equestria contains no Dihydro monoxide.  It does contain the fully approved Oxidane, which does not change the physical, chemical, nor physiological characteristics of water, as proven in test after test some carried out under the direct supervision of Princess Celestia over the span of centuries and more recently performed by Princess Luna Herself.'  Princess Celestia and Princess Luna independently confirmed that, and have suggested I should pour several gallons of Dihydro monoxide on the head of anyone who started or continues these rumors."

There was a gasp from the crowd as they heard the dire fate of rumor mongers.

"Relax everypony," Spike said, "Even we don't have any Dihydro monoxide."

The crowd relaxed.

Twilight sighed.