It was late evening and the dark indigo blanket that is night was fast blotting out the last of the day’s light. The young apprentice of Princess Celestia felt more depressed to be leaving Canterlot than she ever had before, more than when she had left her brother years before even. As she sat in the train-car waiting for its departure, she couldn’t help but feel cheated. Here was the first new creature to arrive in Equestria in centuries and the Princesses refused to let her stay in Canterlot longer. Not only that, but Celestia had neglected to even explain to her why she had to return to Ponyville! Despite Twilight’s reassurances, her friends knew that there was something amiss with her, however, she refused to acknowledge it. Applejack had done her best to cheer her up, but when that had not worked, she begrudgingly decided to give Twilight her space, but reminded her that she was always there for her. Applejack nodded in resignation as her friend gave her a forced smile for her sake. Indeed Twilight was so engrossed in her own thoughts as she stared out the window of their private train-car, that she didn’t hear the murmur of her friends as the door to their cabin opened, why should she care? Its not like any of the ponies on the train would interrupt the Elements of Harmony, nor disturb them, they were famous after all! Not that Twilight really wanted the extra attention that came with their fame… Even as their guest sat next to her, she neglected to recognize their presence.
“What do you call a pony with no ears?” A flat voice asked her from behind.
“What…?” She snapped at the foal, as she spun in her seat.
“You don’t.” I grinned cheekily.
“Tau Niem?” She stared at me in shock.
“Twilight Sparkle.” I stated with the same grin still on my face.
“Why? Why’re you here? This train’s to Ponyville!” She balked.
“I would hope so, or else both of us would be on the wrong train.” I chuckled.
“You’re coming to Ponyville? You’re coming to Ponyville!” Her skeptical tone made way for one of joy.
“Yes, for a short while. The Princesses thought it would be a good idea for me to stay out of the limelight.” I explained simply, oblivious to her growing glee.
“O-my-gosh!” Pinkie exclaimed, popping up between us, seemingly from nowhere, “This means I can give you one of my world famous ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ parties!”
“I suppose it does!” I exclaimed jovially, taking her in a one-armed hug and scooping Twilight in the other, before I looked at Pinkie, “Just remember, batter in the oven, confetti in the cannon?”
“Of course!” Pinkie giggled, while Twilight looked at us both curiously.
“You’re going to be there, right Twilight?” I paused to look at the still stunned pony.
“Yeah…of course,” she said, unsure of what she was agreeing to first.
“Awesome!” I exclaimed, releasing the two, “Applejack?”
“Uh, yeah?” She blinked, surprised to be brought into the conversation so suddenly.
“You do have something harder than cider, right?” I asked her.
“Harder?” Being the Element of Honesty meant that bluffing wasn’t exactly her strong point either.
“Oh, come on Applejack.” I gave her an incredulous look, “You know…something with a kick? A little bit of the ‘hard-cider’?”
“Uh, we dun’t usually drink the hard stuff, ‘sept on special occasion.” She informed me.
“Yeah, but how often do you meet a new friend from far away?” I said with a smile.
“Not tha’ often ah suppose…” She mused.
“Exactly!” I exclaimed, “Come on, it’s a special occasion! I’ll make it up to you…”
“Alright…?” She acquiesced.
“That’s the spirit!” I grinned.
“Ooh, this is going to be the most stupendous party ever!” Pinkie exclaimed, confetti appearing out of nowhere, as she leapt almost a half-dozen feet into the air.
“Oh Pinkie Pie, you’re so random…” I chuckled, before catching Dash’s gaze.
The two of us stared at each other silently for a long moment, before she broke into laughter! I couldn’t help but join her, after all, if she knew that I was quoting her, what would she have thought?
The mane six initially thought my more relaxed behavior was strange, but after assuring them it was simply that I was no longer in the presence of their royalty, they took the change in stride. Indeed, I settled in nicely, conversing with each of them one at a time, or in the case of Applejack and Rainbow Dash, the both of them about my martial arts that they had heard of, thanks to the little scuffle between Twilight and I. Even Fluttershy and I had a stimulating conversation about the local avian species that called Kelovo home – the four-winged bird of prey called the Ko’shol, particularly fascinated her. I don’t blame her, it was one of only two avian species that I knew of in Danårian space that had two pairs of wings. Eventually I came full circle and ended up back with Twilight, in the same seat no less.
“So, what’re your initial observations?” I asked her curiously.
“Hmm, of what?” Twilight asked, clearly distracted.
“Of me, of Danårians, from what you can observe of me?” I specified.
“Have I been that obvious?” She chuckled.
“Yeah,” I nodded, “…but I’ve been doing the same.”
“You’re much better at it than I am, I never even noticed.” She stated plainly.
“I’ve been a diplomat in the service of the Imperators for decades.” I reminded her, “So…?”
“So, what?” She asked, forgetting the question.
“Your thoughts?” I wondered.
“Well, I’d say from what little I’ve been able to observe of you, that you’re an honorable, if not prideful race.” She stated simply.
“Prideful?” I repeated, with a tilt of the head.
“Would that be inaccurate?” She returned with a raised eyebrow.
“I suppose not.” I conceded, “We do have a long history full of magnificent accomplishments behind us, so to take some pride in them is understandable, no?”
“I suppose a thousand years must be a rather short time for a civilization that dances with the stars?” She only then noticed the soft glow on my face, “Tau Niem?”
“Ah, I forget that you cannot hear your words in my language, as I can.” I grinned guiltily.
“Why? Did I say something wrong?” Twilight asked nervously.
“No, quite the opposite. It was rather beautiful.” I smiled.
“Could you, recite it for me?” She asked me somewhat timidly.
“I suppose I could deactivate the translator for a moment.” I nodded.
Reaching my hand under the robes on my left chest, where the device sat, I pressed a bio-neural sensor on the side, giving it the command to standby. I noticed the others had quieted down and stared at me intently, eager to hear a little of my speech… I cleared my throat and inhaled deeply.
“Prensari E’orino y-sol kred-amar astri haja.” I spoke, my native tongue untainted, unaltered in any way, allowing the words to flow like water from my tongue. It had been an age since I had recited anything in the poetic verse, but it did not affect the flow or pace one bit. With a single touch, I reactivated my Universal Translator, “Mind you, I’m no-”
“That was divine…” Rarity said, still partially entranced.
“No, really, that was just shorthand.” I chuckled dismissively.
“Um, I thought it was elegant…too…” Fluttershy said meekly, her voice finally trailing off.
“Thank you, really.” I blushed, “Truth be told, I’m not much for open verse. Now an epic, a tale from the ancient times. One of heroes and villains, warriors and monsters, that’s where it’s at!”
“Well, how about it?” Applejack suggested.
“We do have plenty of time before we arrive in Ponyville.” Twilight reminded.
“I suppose…” I nodded, “Well now, how about one from Earth of ancient times?” The six slowly, but eagerly converged on where I sat as I began, “This is the first history written by humans, and it all beings in the city of Mycenae, in the mountainous Peloponnesus. There ruled King Agamemnon…”
I regaled them with the tale of the twenty-year siege of Troy by the Achaeans… The fight between the noble Hector and the mighty Achilles, wherein the wrath and savagery of Achilles is exposed and the grief that he was supposed to inflict on his enemy was returned to him, particularly caught their morbid interest – it was no surprise that they took to disliking him immediately. Despite their obvious loathing, not one of them was anything but shocked when Paris, the seemingly cowardly, inept son of King Priam of Troy, slew the mighty Achilles with an arrow to the heel, avenging his brother. Finally, I ended the tale with the conclusion of the siege, by the crafty Odysseus and his wooden horse, the Trojan symbol of their city, as a ‘peace offering’. Whence it was wheeled into the city, the Trojans celebrated their victory and feasted, and partied until they all passed out. Then, when night fell, Odysseus and his men slipped from their hiding place in its belly and took the city by storm! Silence reigned over them for several long moments, as I let them process the tale in their minds.
“They should’ve listened to Laocoön.” Rainbow Dash finally stated decisively.
“Indeed.” I nodded.
“Why would you tell such a tale?” Twilight asked me incredulously, which turned all their attention back to me, as the storyteller.
“It’s simple Twilight Sparkle, the tale is a cautionary one.” I replied.
“How’s that cautionary? All it is, is a tale of death!” She exclaimed.
“Yes, yes it is, but you need to look deeper.” I explained, “Achilles is the main character of the Iliad. It was his wrath that sees him lain low. His disrespect for his enemy.”
“Why would you respect your enemy?” Rainbow asked skeptically.
“Because that’s what separates us from beasts,” I said simply, “War is a horrible thing. Even in victory, there are no winners. There is only sacrifice. So, we honor those we fight, because they’re willing to sacrifice everything, just as we are.”
“You Danårians are an odd lot.” She remarked in passing.
“We’re not so different as you may think.” I cautioned her, “If I recall the tale of Hearth’s Warming Eve properly, your three tribes were once at odds. Mistrustful of each other. Look at you now, three clans working together as one for the betterment of your kind.” I leaned in toward Rainbow with a grin, “Sometimes, yesterday’s enemy, is tomorrow’s friend.” I leaned back in my seat once more, “A long time ago, before the first Federation, our people were divided. Rivals, enemies even. We fought and we suffered. We gained nothing. Then, we awoke thanks to the Theologians…”
“The who?” Twilight interrupted.
“They were the first outsiders we met. They warned us of our future, that we would cease to exist if we continued. They showed us an alternative. They showed us harmony and unity.” I explained, “They told us of a greater world beyond our own, one that we could join if only we put aside our differences and worked together. We did, and within a generation, our children inherited the stars. Within the first long-span, we had formed the Trade Coalition and expanded our influence in every direction for light years.”
“What’s a span?” Twilight asked.
“Light year?” Applejack remarked, “Day for a whole year, that don’t sound too good…”
“No, Applejack, a light year is the theoretical distance light can travel in a year.” Twilight informed her farmer friend.
“Actually Twilight Sparkle, the distance of a light year, assuming no outside interference, is approximately seventy-trillion measures.” I hummed a brief moment, in realization, “Yes, that is a problem, you no doubt have no idea of our system of measurement.” I cleared my throat, “To answer your first question, a span is sixteen greater cycles, formed of sixteen lesser cycles. A long span is then sixteen spans…so that comes to 4,096 years.”
“Hexadecimal?” Twilight remarked.
“Yes, our numeric system is hexadecimal in nature.” I confirmed with a nod, “The integers 16-0-0 is the mathematical expression of a perfect hypercube.”
“Shouldn’t it be 1-0-0-0?” She retorted.
“Under some systems, yes. However, we count to sixteen on the first digit, then seventeen, or 1-1 would be the first in the next decimal place.” I explained.
“That is most odd.” She remarked.
“Can somepony speak plain?” Applejack exclaimed.
“Oh, so I don’t count?” I said cheekily.
“Ya know what ah mean…” She said dismissively.
“What he’s saying is that his people use more numbers than we do.” Twilight responded to Applejack for me.
“How’s that? Aren’t numbers, numbers? Where do they get more?” Applejack clearly wasn’t following and it was frustrating the cowpony.
“Applejack, starting at zero, count until you reach a double-digit number.” I prompted.
“Easy.” She exclaimed, “Zero, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.”
“Right.” I nodded, “Riai, umi, di, om-dui, quati, v’en, qua’di, ouar, pereh, e’mi, tak’s, swa, ti’qu, vaah, mr’oah, um’tas, and on the highest digit, to’as.”
“So…” She tried to comprehend what I was saying.
“We have seventeen digits to use in our numeric system. You count to nine, then start adding zeroes. We count to sixteen, then add to’as, or a zero…” I elaborated.
“Uh, you and your fancy mathematics!” She growled, causing me to laugh, “What?”
“Oh, Applejack…” Twilight started laughing too, and before we knew it, everyone was laughing merrily, Applejack included.
“Next thing…next thing you know, you’re going to tell me that you use different letters!” Applejack said in her mirth.
“We do,” I said between chuckles, which only caused her to laugh harder, “I’m serious.”
“I know, that’s what makes it so funny!” She laughed even harder.
“Yeah…” I rejoined them in laughing, though it would’ve been far odder if we both used the same letters!
The rest of the trip was spent in lighthearted conversation. Things like what was my favorite color - dark-green - and what was my favorite food - glazed Kelovo-Fruit… I found it amazingly entertaining that the lot of them so quickly adopted me into their herd, welcoming me so easily and completely. We Danårians are usually very slow to trust, but once it is earned, you have a stalwart friend for life. I had not laughed so merrily in nearly a span. Human company just didn’t suit me the same as living with my own people. I slowly quieted as I came to remember the good times I had spent in the service of the Federation. The rest of the mane six continued laughing, save Twilight. She saw my distress and was just about to subtly ask me about it, before Pinkie’s loud voice rang over the jovial mares…
“We’re here! We’re home!” Pinkie exclaimed.
Her cheery attitude only served to depress me more. It had been so long since I had seen my home that I almost forgot what it looked like, what the first breeze off the eastern sea smelled like in the morning, what the faces of my family looked like. Most depressingly, I would never forget the solemn feeling of tending to the shrine of our ancestors that now bore the name of my wife…
“We’re here, Ponyville!” Pinkie exclaimed once more, grabbing me by the shoulders as she bounced.
I forced myself to smile. Heart of stone, mind of stone. I repeated in my head, as I urged myself onward. Like some kind of robot, I rose to my feet, running more on instinct than anything else, as I willed myself to forget. Live in the now… I told myself. I danced in circles with Pinkie like some sort of marionette, not out of any real joy on my part. What joy I might’ve gleaned from such a moment, had been lost the moment those memories came back to me… It was only the gentle lurch of the train as it came to a stop that shook me from my thoughts.
I offered to exit the train first, after all, I was the only male on their company and as such, it was my duty to protect them. However, they politely declined, citing the fact that if an alien were to suddenly exit the train there might be a panic. I wondered who would be there at this time of night, but I bowed to their wisdom nonetheless. A part of me wondered if the mares had decided that the numerically inferior males of their species were either incompetent of protecting them, or if they had become too valuable because of their scarcity to lose? Something I’d have to inquire about the next Twilight and I had time to speak?
The Mane Six exited before I did, but much to my surprise, there were two ponies awaiting us. The first was a tough looking red stallion with green eyes and a golden mane, that even if I had not known, I would’ve assumed to be related to Applejack. The second was an older, tan mare with a grey mane. She looked at me, mildly surprised by my appearance, however, it was the stallion that gave me a death-glare. Though the seven mares spoke, their words were lost as the two of us stared into each other’s eyes, unwilling to so much as blink. Very quickly, the women noticed our staring contest, and Applejack and Twilight, came up to Big Mac and myself respectively.
“Are you two alright?” Twilight asked me.
“Big Mac, is there a reason you’re staring this stallion down?” Applejack asked her brother.
“E’yup.” We both remarked at the same time.
Big Mac took a big step towards me, one that I matched.
“There a reason you’re mockin’ me?” He asked intensifying his glare.
“I do not mock, ‘tis a low form of insult,” I said, voice steely.
“You speak like Princess Luna.” He observed.
“I hath that ability.” I remarked plainly and the two of us relapsed into staring at each other silently.
“Brother, this is Tau Niem. He’s a guest of the Princesses,” Applejack said softly to him.
I extended a hand to him, which he eyed suspiciously. “I’m Danårian, not Human, if that’s what you’re thinking?” I said, hoping to pacify him.
Twilight nodded to him, while still next to me. He looked up from Twilight and back to my eyes. He glanced down at my hand for a moment, before taking it. I strongly gripped his hoof to show him the respect that he clearly deserved.
“The name’s Big Macintosh,” He said rather simply, still not completely trusting me.
“E’gah Tau Niem A Ne Ni Nei Vas Kelovo,” I said with a bow of my head, and I noticed that he looked to Twilight, “That is my short-name, however, you may call me Tau Niem.”
“Short?” He replied brusquely.
“Short.” I nodded.
Releasing his hoof, I stood straight and tall once more. He was the first to openly check my ‘flank’ for a ‘cutie mark’. His brow rose when he noticed that I had none, none that was visible anyways.
“Why do you hide your mark?” He asked bluntly.
At this, each of the mares looked at me curiously, Twilight more so. “Our species has no such feature.” I informed him.
“Then how’m I to know what your talent is?” He asked once again – I was starting to like this stallion, he asked a lot of questions, good questions.
“Ask me.” I replied simply.
“What are you?” He asked simply this time.
“Since I already told you my species, I shall assume that you meant my profession?” With this remark, I earned a critical glare from him, “I’m a linguist, anthropologist and warrior.” This earned me an even more critical gaze, “However, I was born and raised a farmer…grew up on an orchard.”
Like his sister, he was honest to a fault, exposing his shock plainly.
“It’s true brother, he’s told us all about his family and his home, while we’re in Canterlot.” Applejack grinned, as her brother regarded her curiously, “Some of his story was a bit fanciful, but if you’d told me that his kind were real before ah had left, well…”
My kind? I thought critically, though I decided to let it pass… Then the new mare, wearing an interesting garment about her throat, gingerly, yet determinedly approached me. Taking the fact that I knew their society to be matriarchal, much like an ancient form of our own, I quickly deduced that she held some sort of high office.
“The Princess informed me that you’d be coming.” She spoke gently, much like a clan-leader on my own world, at that my mind was made up…
“Tau Niem, this is Mayor Mare.” Twilight looked up at me, introducing us.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Elder Mare of Ponyville.” I bowed my head to her respectfully.
She looked at me curiously with her violet eyes, before Twilight elbowed me. “That’s Mayor Mare.” She corrected me.
“Is that not what I expressed?” I looked to Twilight curiously.
“No, you just called her, old.” Twilight informed me.
“Is that not the meaning?” I cocked my head to one side.
“A mayor is an elected official, selected to govern a settlement.” Mayor Mare spoke up.
“Ah, I see…” I nodded, “There is no such word in the Danårian language. It is our elders that manage our families and clans. I do hope you took no offense, the term elder carries much respect with our people.”
“None at all.” She smiled at me kindly, as though she expected such a situation.
“Thank you.” I bowed my head lower, before placing my hand into my robes and on my translation device, “Computer, access database, Equestrian-one. Make addition, word, noun, station; Mayor. Definition as previously received.”
Both the Mayor and Twilight looked on with rapt attention, before the Mayor decided the device was innocuous enough.
“Tau Niem, the Princess has informed me that you’re a special representative of your people and are to be conferred the status of diplomat. We ask that you follow Equestrian law as best you can while in Ponyville, however, you have been granted diplomatic immunity…” Mayor Mare stated, drawing quite a few curious stares to both herself and myself.
“I am still restrained by both my customs and the oaths I have given Princess Celestia.” I reassured her.
“I’m glad to hear that.” She nodded, “I’m also to inform you that all your expenses shall be paid for by the crown for the duration of your stay.”
Several of the ponies gasped in shock at that, though because I was looking at the Mayor, I did not see which.
“I appreciate the sentiment Mayor Mare, however, if I am to remain here for any length of time, I do not wish to be a drain on your community. I have much I can offer your fair village.” I declared honestly, both Applejack and Rainbow Dash seemed particularly relieved to hear that, “I am of course limited somewhat by my people’s code of non-interference, however, I will do what I can to aid you, in whatever way I’m able.”
“That’s very kind of you,” She said, smiling brightly, “Have you given any thought to your lodging?”
“Honestly, no, I had not. Are there no public domiciles, I believe the term is an Inn?” I inquired.
“Strangely enough no.” Twilight responded.
“Ponyville doesn’t get a lot of tourists.” Mayor Mare elaborated.
“Don’t worry about it darling.” Rarity spoke up, causing me to turn around.
“Are you quite sure? I would hate to impose,” I said in shock.
“Not at all.” She waved a hoof, “I would not see you sleep on the street!”
“I’m once again in your debt, Dame Rarity…” I said with a bow and a gentle smile.
“Don’t mention it, it’s the least I could do!” She once again waved her hoof dismissively.
I turned back to the Mayor expectantly. “That settles that.” I stated decisively, “Do you have further need of me?”
“There’s some paperwork to be done, but we can do that tomorrow. I’m sure that all of you’d like to get home to your beds?” Mayor Mare assumed correctly, receiving nods and murmurs in response, “Very well then, I hope that you find Ponyville comfortable Tau Niem.”
“Thank you, Mayor.” I bowed once more to her, before she started back for her own home and I turned to Rarity who was slowly approaching me, “I’m ready when you are, my host.”
“Very well, let me say goodnight to my friends?” she said, before approaching Applejack before hugging her.
I approached Big Macintosh once more. He gave me a critical gaze, more curious than suspicious at this point. I could tell that he was having a hard time seeing me as anything other than a Human. I couldn’t blame him, there was little in outward appearance that distinguished Danårians from Humans…
“I take it from your reaction that you’re well read and that you know of the old pony tales about Humans?” I asked, already assuming the answer.
“E’yup.” He said regarding me intently, I think he was having a hard time reading my body language?
“Well, I assure you that I would never try to bridle and mount you.” I chuckled.
“Darn right,” He said with a solid hoof to the chest, one that I returned in kind with a closed fist.
The two of us looked at each other for a moment, before laughing loudly.
“Stallions…” Rarity remarked overhearing our exchange.