It was a perfectly normal, totally average, unassuming day in the famous orchard of Sweet Apple Acres, home of the (not-so-secret) headquarters of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, where nothing out of the ordinary ever happened….
And if any y’all believed that bunch of hooey, y’all should be ashamed of yourselves.
A magical portal suddenly opened up in front of the Crusader’s treehouse. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootloo trotted out with excited skips in their steps. They were soon followed by a unknown Earth Pony wearing a colorful sailor uniform with a pair of distinctive buns in her blonde mane.
“Phew, ah can’t believe we made it back alive,” said Apple Bloom, wiping the imaginary sweat from her brow.
“That was the most dangerous and epic adventure in the history of adventuring!” shouted Scootloo enthusiastically. “They were like – Boom! – and we were like – Pow – and they were like – AAH – and we were like – ha-hah! – and they were like – “
“We know, Scootaloo,” said Sweetie Belle levitating a fallen apple to plug her friend’s mouth, much to the Pegasus’ annoyance. “We were there, too.”
“I can’t thank you enough for all your help,” the magical pony gratefully. “Thanks to you, we can now begin a new era of peace.”
“Aw shucks, t’was nothin’,” said Apple Bloom bashfully. “We were just happy to help.”
“Good luck ruling the galaxy for a thousand years!” said Sweetie Belle.
The mysterious magical pony waved at the fillies before walking back into the portal, closing it behind her.
“Well, glad that’s over with,” Apple Bloom said to her friends. “Too bad we didn’t get our Cutie Marks for becoming magical girls and saving the galaxy from the personification of an abstract concept of evil.”
“I liked the uniforms, though,” said Sweetie Belle. “I should ask my sister is she can make one.”
“I know it’s a little late to be asking this,” Scootaloo chimed in, “but don’t you think it’s weird how we can just go into outer space and crossover into alternate universes without any real explanation?”
“Eh, ah just learn to go with the flow,” said Apple Bloom, shrugging nonchalantly.
“Yeah, no point in thinking too hard about it,” Sweetie Belle agreed.
“So what Cutie Mark y’all think we should try fer next?” asked Apple Bloom as she walked in the direction of their treehouse. “Ah was thinking we could try one fer giant robots – OUCH!”
Apple Bloom hadn’t looked where she was going and bumped her snout into something solid, knocking the filly on her flank. Sweetie Belle and Scootlaoo quickly rushed to her side. Apple Bloom groaned, rubbing her sore snout, and looked up at a familiar purple wagon with a star-studded motif.
“Hey, who parked this wagon in front of our treehouse?” Apple Bloom complained.
“Hey, isn’t that Trixie’s wagon?” said Scootaloo after noticing the wand Cutie Mark on either side of the window.
“If Trixie’s wagon is here,” said Sweetie Belle as realization washed over her. “Then that means….”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders gasped with excitement. They ran around the wagon and dashed up the ramp, bursting through the treehouse door. Inside they found their favorite heroes (well, second favorite), the Mane Six and Grubber the Hedgehog, sitting in a circle in the middle of the cramped space, apparently in the middle of a heated game of cards.
“Chew on this, suckers!” Trixie shouted triumphantly, throwing down her cards. “Three Lunas! Your pudding rights belong to Trixie!”
“Luna dang it!” yelled Sunset, throwing down her cards in frustration.
“How does she do it!” cried Grubber, tossing his own cards in the air.
“There’s no way that can be correct!” bellowed Twilight, her mane frazzled and her left eye twitching. “I’ve been counting those cards since the beginning! That’s scientifically impossible!”
“Uh, you do know counting cards is illegal, right?” Tempest commented.
“WHO CARES?” Twilight screeched.
“It’s the Mane Six!” Apple Bloom cheered, snapping the heroes out of the game. The young Earth Pony bound forward and threw her hooves around Moon Dancer. “It’s great ta see ya, Moon Dancer! Ah didn’t know y’all we coming.”
“Well, it wasn’t exactly planned,” said Moon Dancer, scratching her head sheepishly.
“What are you doing here?” asked Sweetie Belle curiously.
“Hey, girls,” Twilight greeted, patting down her mane. “Sorry to barge in like this. You’re probably wondering what we’re doing here.”
“…Yeah, that’s why I asked,” said Sweetie Belle strangely.
“Long story short, it’s Grubber’s fault,” said Tempest, shuffling the cards.
“Hey, don’t blame this on me!” Grubber yelled indignantly as Tempest dealt the cards. “I was in the hospital the whole time!”
“If you had kept your mouth shut, we would’ve found a way to defuse the situation,” Starlight stated matter-of-factly, levitating her cards.
“It’s your fault for letting it get that far in the first place!” shouted Grubber, pointing an accusing finger at Starlight.
“Whoa, this sounds bad,” said Scootaloo, taken aback. “What’d you guys do?”
“It was all our faults,” said Sunset emphatically, shooting looks at Starlight, Tempest, and Grubber. “We kinda…mad somepony mad.”
“Who?” asked Apple Bloom curiously.
“Sassy Saddles,” answered Starlight.
“The pony at the Canterlot Carousel?” said Sweetie Belle, surprised. “She’s only of the most mild-mannered ponies I know. What’d you do to set her off?”
“It’s kind of a long story,” said Starlight. “It all started the other day – “
Starlight Glimmer was positively trembling with excitement as she stood in front of the half-circle of mirrors at the Canterlot Carousel – the premiere dress shop in all of Canterlot! She had visited the establishment quite frequently these days after receiving her invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala, often forced to drag one of her other friends along. But today, it was just her.
The cause for her excitement was that Sassy Saddles had summoned her for the final fitting for her formal gown. These were the final measurements before Sassy did the real work towards the final product.
Starlight could just imagine herself at the Grand Galloping Gala, the belle of the ball, catching the eye of every stallion as she walked into the room. One face in particularly kept cropping up, which made her giggle with excitement.
“Whoa, simmer down that, Starlight,” said Sassy Saddles, pulling back the needles. “Keep moving around like that and I’m liable to stab you. And blood would not be a good color for you, dear.”
“Sorry, Sorry,” Starlight apologized. “I’m just so excited to see what it will look like. I can’t wait to show it off at the Grand Galloping Gala.”
“Oh?” Sassy spoke in a teasing tone. “Is there anypony in particular you are hoping to show off for?”
Starlight laughed in the awkward sort of way whenever she was embarrassed and said, “Wha-a-at? No, of course not! I just…really wanna look good for the Gala is all! No other reason whatsoever! No, just that!”
“Of course, dear,” said Sassy Saddles serenely with an amused smirk.
Starlight snapped her muzzle shut, her face flushed with embarrassment while Sassy went back to her needle work.
A moment later, the bell over the front door jingles, causing Starlight and Sassy to look over as Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer entered the store.
“Hey, Sassy,” Sunset greeted. “And no surprise to see you here, Starlight. Do you live in the store now?”
“If she does, she owes me four months’ worth of rent,” said Sassy Saddles jokingly.
“Oh, ha-ha,” said Starlight with an unamused grimace.
“Is there something I can help you with?” asked Sassy Saddles, carefully working her needle around the curve of Starlight’s side. “Twilight, your final fitting isn’t until tomorrow. Sunset, I already have your measurements from the previous years, so no worries in that regard.”
“Actually, I was hoping you could do me a quick favor,” said Twilight. She reached inside her saddlebag and pulled out a frumpy red dress with one of the buttons noticeably hanging by a literal thread. “Could you please fix a button for me. It’s my dress for the Grand Galloping Gala.”
Sassy Saddle’s jaw fell in horror, dropping her sowing needles on the floor with a clatter.
“I don’t know a lick about fashion,” said Sunset, her face contorted in disgust, “but ew.”
“Sunset, that’s rude!” said Twilight, offended.
“Element of Honesty,” said Sunset nonchalantly.
“Twilight Sparkle, have you lost your mind?” Sassy Saddle gasped.
“And the hits keep coming,” Twilight mumbled.
“I already promised that I would make each of the Mane Six’s dresses,” said Sassy Saddles fretfully. “Is something wrong? Did I do something to upset you? Is there anything I can do to make it right?”
“No, it’s nothing like that, Sassy!” said Twilight, raising her hooves defensively. “It’s just that I thought it would be so much work for one pony to make six new dresses. I figured that if I wore my own dress, it might lighten the load a bit.”
“No, I insist that I make you a new dress,” said Sassy Saddles. “If one of the Mane Six – the heroes of Equestria – were to turn down the offer, it would reflect poorly on the Carousel Boutique. And that would cause Miss Rarity to lose faith after she entrusted me with managing this Canterlot branch.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to get you into trouble,” said Twilight, frowning. “All right, I accept. Thank you for your help, Sassy. Knowing your work, I’m sure it’ll be absolutely beautiful.”
“It’s no trouble at all, dear,” said Sassy proudly.
“Personally, I would be fine with wear last year’s dress,” said Sunset indifferently.
Sassy Saddles gasped dramatically, and said, “You can’t be serious, Sunset! Wearing the same dress twice? No, no, no, absolutely not! Think about what everypony would say!”
“I don’t care,” said Sunset, shrugging.
“Just…let me make you a new dress,” said Sassy Saddle, pinning the sunny mare with a creepy stare as she invaded Sunset’s personal space. “I insist….”
“…Okay…,” Sunset answered in a small voice.
“Wonderful!” Sassy Saddles cheered, turning bright and sunny in an instant.
“LOOK OUT BELOW!”
Twilght, Sunset, Starlight, and Sassy Saddles jumped at the sudden scream, looking around for the source. Sassy let out a frightened yelp as Tempest suddenly crashed through the window, rolling across the shop like a bowling ball, and knocking over a display of mannequins that were oddly lined up like bowling pins. The dark mare scored a perfect strike, causing the mannequins to collapse on her. Everyone waited patiently in awkward silence before Tempest poked her head out, rubbing the sore spot on her temple.
“Ow…,” Tempest groaned. “Sorry ‘bout that. Was not expecting to take up flying lessons today.”
“Tempest, what happened?” gasped Sunset.
“Did you know Princess Luna installed a catapult in the vault security?” said Tempest, climbing out of the mannequin pile. “Because me and Grubber do. Now.”
“Hey, where is Grubber?” asked Starlight, looking around for the hedgehog.
“Huh…,” said Tempest, also looking around. “Guess he must’ve got launched somewhere else…. Oh well, I’m sure he’s fine – “
Strawberry Sunrise was enjoying a nice cup of chamomile tea and a slice of strawberry shortcake on this nice winter day at Cinnamon Chai’s Tea and Cake Shop. It had been a while since she had been admitted to the hospital. She was starting to think that whatever curse must have placed on her had finally lifted and she decided to splurge in celebration.
But just as she was about to take her first bite in her delicious strawberry…a pudgy hedgehog fell from the sky on top of her, smashing through the table.
“MY WING!”
“So what’s happening?” asked Tempest curiously. “Any particular reason why two-thirds of our little friendship circle are here?”
“We were just talking about how Sassy was making dresses for all of us for the Grand Galloping Gala,” Twilight answered.
“Dresses? We’ll still doing that?” Tempest groaned. “Can’t I just wear what I normally do?”
“The rules clearly state that that everypony must wear a gown or a tux,” said Sunset. Tempest opened her mouth. “No, you’re not wearing a tux. No matter how handsome you would look.”
“Oh, you think I’m handsome?” said Tempest smugly.
“Very handsome,” Sunset admitted slyly.
“…Are they going to kiss?” Sassy Saddles whispered to Starlight.
“No, but I wish they would,” said Starlight, rolling her eyes. “This whole slow burn thing is taking forever.”
“So it settled then!” Sassy Saddles brightly, using her horn to collect her fallen needles and summoned several rolls of fabric from the back. “I’ll make a new dress for all of you. And, of course, Trixie and Moon Dancer, too. When I’m finished, you mares will be the talk of the Gala!”
“That sounds wonderful, Sassy,” said Twilight positively. “But are you sure you can handle it?”
“Oh, it’ll be a little work,” said Sassy Saddles, “but making dresses for Equestria’s heroes will an enormous boost to the Carousel’s reputation. And while I’m not on the same level of design as Miss Rarity or her apprentice, Miss Pommel, this is a huge opportunity to test my skill.”
“As long as you’re having fun,” Sunset commented.
“Oh, it will be fun,” said Sassy Saddles giddily. “Especially when we add a quirky musical montage. Cue the music!”
“Oh no, you’re not getting me to – “ Tempest rejected firmly.
“ – e-e-e-e-e-ess!” Sassy Saddles finished her big musical number with a flourish while the Mane Six were scattered around the boutique, striking various poses.
“…I hate everypony,” Tempest, dropping her pose with a furrowed scowl.
“Wait, how did we get here?” asked Moon Dancer, looking round wildly, blinking in confusion. “I was just working my shift at the bookstore a second ago.”
“And Trixie was ordering an oat smoothie when Trixie was mysteriously transported by the power of music,” said Trixie, who looked at her empty hoof. “Hey, where’s Trixie’s smoothie?”
“Girls, I’m so happy you could make it!” said Sassy Saddles cheerfully, unconcerned by the random addition of two extra ponies in her shop.
“Not like we had a choice,” Sunset commented. “Your song made us dance for thirty hours.”
“My hooves are tired,” Starlight groaned.
“Yes, well, they do say that fashion is pain,” said Sassy Saddles, giggling nervously. “But, I think it was well worth it in the end. Behold: your new outfits for the gala!”
The taller mare stepped aside and gestured to six pony mannequins behind her with a wave of her hoof. Sown together onto each mannequin were six unique dresses that will be written in detail, but revealed later down the line because the writer is too lazy.
The Mane Six gasped in unison, though their expressions seemed underwhelming compared to what Sassy was expecting.
“Well, what do you think?” asked Sassy Saddles enthusiastically. “For you, Sunset, I went with a dusky theme to match your name, using a mostly purple style with gradating hues of yellow and orange. And Twilight, I made this dress for you to reflect your personality, mostly centralizing on a starry theme. Oh, Tempest, I know you don’t like bright colors, so I went with something dark that’s equal parts mysterious and alluring. Oh, and you’re going to love your dress, Moon Dancer. It’s absolutely dreamy in a literal sense. Starlight’s dress was a bit harder to nail down, but I think the reflective accents were just the thing. And Trixie, of course I would make yours as flashy as the mare who wears it.
“So, what do you think? Aren’t they all amazing?”
Rather than an applause or gasps of awe, Sassy’s response was…painfully awkward silence. The Mane Six just stared quietly…and stared…and stared…. Sassy’s sales-winning smile was starting to hurt now.
“…Wow…they’re…,” Twilight spoke up awkwardly.
“Yeah, they’re…uh…,” Starlight added unhelpfully.
“They sure are…something…,” Sunset continued with a painfully forced smile.
“Yeah, they’re…something, all right,” said Tempest, who was avoiding eye contact.
“Trixie loves…something,” said Trixie with an anxious giggle. “Something is…Trixie’s favorite.”
“They’re…nice,” said Moon Dancer quietly.
“What’s the matter?” asked Sassy Saddles, dropping her smile. “Don’t you like them?”
“They’re very nice…,” said Twilight anxiously.
“And we’re grateful because you worked so hard on them,” said Sunset, laughing awkwardly.
“Even if your song forced me to cut my shift at the bookstore and make us dance around,” Moon Dancer added with an unamused grimace.
“Mine’s not as impressive as I was imagining,” said Tempest bluntly, earning heated stares from her friends. “What? She asked.”
“I guess what we're all saying is that they're just not what we had in mind,” said Starlight Glimmer. The others vocalized their agreement, some nodding their heads. “I mean, they’re great. Just a little…underwhelming, I suppose the word is.”
“Okay…that’s okay, it’s not a problem,” said Sassy Saddles, letting out a huge dejected sigh. She immediately perked up and her smile returned. “They were only a first pass. You're my friends and I want you to be one hundred and ten percent satisfied. Not to worry, I'll redo them.”
“You don’t have to do that, Sassy,” said Starlight. “They’re fine just the way they are.”
“I want them to be better than just fine,” said Sassy Saddles firmly as she took the finished dresses, folded them up, and stuffed them in the backroom. “I want you to think they're absolutely perfect.”
“Are you sure?” asked Sunset, concerned. “I mean, we wouldn’t want to bother you.”
“Oh, it’s no bother at all,” said Sassy Saddles. “Really, I insist.”
“Well, in that case…,” said Twilight, “thanks again, Sassy.”
“No problem, Twilight!” said Sassy Saddles, waving the Mane Six off as they exited the parlor one by one. “I promise, they’ll be the best dresses you’ve ever seen! I swear it!” She waited until they were gone before letting her smile drop and muttered, “Dear Luna, what have I gotten myself into.”
Sassy had been working frantically for hours, stitching and re-stitching and re-re-stitching – there was a lot of stitching involved. The whole event with the Mane Six left her so on edge that her mane was starting to look frazzled and her normally stylish outfit was showing signs of wear and tear. But she had no time to worry about her appearance when there was so much work to be done!
Suddenly, there was a soft knock on the door and Moon Dancer stuck her head inside the backroom.
“Hello?” Moon Dancer called cautiously. “You wanted to see me, Sassy?”
“Moon Dancer!” Sassy Saddles shouted brightly. “Your new-new gown's ready. I completely revised it and I know you're going to love it.”
She gave Moon Dancer no chance to reply before telepathically picking up the bespectacled and practically throwing her into the changing room. Moon Dancer stuck her head out from behind the curtain to say something, but was cut off when the fashion mare slapped her in the face with her new dress. Moon Dancer sighed and ducked back inside, seeing no choice but to go along with it.
It took a few minutes to figure out where everything went, but Moon Dancer eventually got the dress on and stepped back out. Sassy presented her with a full length mirror, giving Moon Dancer a chance to look at herself.
This new dress was similar to the one Sassy made before, but had tossed out the starry dream theme for an emphasis on a crescent moon pattern with a special attention to the heavy moon pendent strung around her neck.
“Well, what do you think?” asked Sassy Saddles with an excited grin.
“I…like it,” Moon Dancer forced a smile after a moment’s hesitation.
“Oh, you’re just saying that…,” Sassy’s good mood instantly deflated.
“No, no, I do,” Moon Dancer insisted. “It’s…nice.”
“Nice?” Sassy Saddles repeated, staring her down with a cocked brow.
“Nice,” Moon Dancer parroted.
“If you don't like it, you should just tell me,” Sassy Saddles huffed.
“But I do like it,” said Moon Dancer, who at this point was not even convincing herself.
“Like it or love it?” Sassy Saddles questioned.
“Why are you do this?” Moon Dancer groaned. Why did she have to get stuck with the Element of Kindness? “Can’t you just accept the compliment?”
“It’s not a compliment if you’re lying,” said Sassy Saddles heatedly.
“Come on, that’s not fair,” Moon Dancer groaned.
“Then tell me what you really think,” Sassy Saddles demanded.
“Can’t you go bother Sunset?” Moon Dancer whined. “She’s the honest one…most of the time.”
“JUST TELL ME!” Sassy Saddles screamed, which caused the entire building to shudder.
“Okay, okay!” Moon Dancer cried, backing away in fear. “Well…If you really want to know….” She took a deep breath…then went into a long rant. “the armscye's tight, the middy collar doesn't go with the shawl lapel, the hems are clearly machine-stitched, the pleats are uneven, the fabric looks like toile, you used a backstitch here when it clearly called for a topstitch or maybe a traditional blanket stitch, and the overdesign is reminiscent of prêt-à-porter and not true Prance haute couture.”
Sassy’s jaw dropped, her eyes practically bulging out of their sockets. Whether it was because of Moon Dancer’s critique or her odd understanding of fashion design was anypony’s guess.
“…But, uh... you know... um, whatever you want to do is fine,” Moon Dancer backtracked quickly.
Things hardly improved for Sassy from that point. As she called in each of the Mane Six one by one, they all had their own opinions on the designs of their outfits.
Twilight Sparkle.
“Now, the stars on my belt need to be technically accurate. Orion has three stars on his belt, not four.”
Trixie.
“Don’t you think Trixie’s dress would be greater and more powerfuller if it was reminiscent of the great Harry Hoofdini? Ooh, and smoke bomb! Lots and lots of smoke bombs!”
Sunset Shimmer.
“It should have a hardcore rocker vibe. You know, like the Swords n’ Tulips or AB/CD. Oh, maybe I should grab one of my guitars so you can match.
Starlight Glimmer.
“I wanna match with Sunburst to show how compatible we are. Maybe some orange – no, blue – no purple – no, green! You know what, let’s just throw in all the colors to be safe.
Moon Dancer.
“It should be fancy, but not too fancy. Prance haute couture would be fine, if you can manage that, I mean. Please and thank you.”
Tempest Shadow.
“I’m not the dress wearing type, so I don’t care. Just make it dark. And skintight, but make the material breathable. And throw on some flankplates. Fancy parties are prime targets for assassins.”
With every new request and alteration, Sassy could feel a little bit of her sanity be chipped away. Not even a hoof-tapping song about ‘the Art of the Dress’ could fix the damage that had been done.
Sassy worked herself tirelessly for two days straight with zero sleep, surviving only on coffee dregs, stale crackers she found in her desk, and her own literal sweat and tears. At one point, in the middle of the night, Sassy Saddles came close to having a nervous breakdown spent four hours huddled on the floor in a fetal position, muttering incoherently without blinking.
But on the morning of the third day, she finally – finally – finished!
Sassy collapsed on her front with a tired groan in the middle of the backroom. Her mane was unkempt and filthy with glue, glitter, and bits of confetti and her favorite outfit was reduced to little more than a scrap of cloth. But she could say that she had completed all six dresses as they requested.
And Sassy hated every single one of them.
“Oh my Luna, they’re awful,” Sassy Saddles moaned, covering her eyes with her hooves so she wouldn’t have to look at the abominations she created. “If anypony sees these hideous things, The Carousel franchise will be a laughing stock and then Miss Rarity will fire me….
She took a deep, cleansing breath. After a minute to let herself relax, Sassy stood up.
“But…I made a promise,” said Sassy Saddles. “Even if I hate them, as long as Starlight and the others are happy, then it’s fine. Right?”
Sassy summoned her clients to the boutique a few hours later. The Mane Six lined up with curious interest as the taller mare stood in front of a large curtain in the back of the shop.
“Okay, everypony, I did exactly what each of you asked for, so – why are Tempest and Trixie in prison clothes?” asked Sassy Saddles, just noticing the two ponies in black-and-white striped uniforms.
“We took a short trip to Appleloosa,” Trixie explained, “and then Tempest made us accessories to a train robbery!”
“How was I supposed to know that trunk was filled with gold bars?” Tempest argued.
“Never mind Tempest and Trixie’s wacky adventures,” Starlight waved them off, looking up at Sassy excitedly. “Show us the new dresses you made.”
“Yeah, I can’t wait to see them,” said Moon Dancer eagerly.
“The original dresses were already pretty great,” said Twilight. “And I bet these will turn out even better.”
“They better…,” Sassy muttered to herself. “Okay…here they are. Now don't hold back. Let me know what you really think.”
Everypony leaned forward eagerly as Sassy parted the curtains with her horns…then reeled back with restrained gasps at what they saw.
“So…what do you think?” asked Sassy Saddles nervously.
“What do we think…?” Starlight parroted with an anxious edge in her ton. “I think…you definitely did exactly as we asked for.”
And that was the worst decision they could’ve made, Starlight thought. Sassy had gone above and beyond to incorporate every one of their demands in their individual gowns, only for them to understand that they didn’t know what they were asking.
Twilight’s dress was essentially an ugly shower curtain with a bunch of constellations printed everywhere. Sunset’s looked more like she was part of a grunge band with a mixture of ripped fabrics and punk-styled patterns. Moon Dancer’s dress had somehow gone from dreamy, to moon themed, to an oversized abomination of lace, feathers, and rhinestones. Starlight’s gown looked more like an abstract painting than something to wear, sown with patches of every color under the rainbow. Trixie’s outfit looked an old vaudeville entertainer’s outfit combined with showmare’s sequins and a bunch of little smoke bombs sown into it. And Tempest’s dress wasn’t even a dress – it was a full suit of armor totally not reminiscent to a certain weather-themed supervillain.
The Mane Six were locked in stunned silence. Starlight glanced sideways at Sassy Saddles, who smile was so forced it looked like it hurt. She was so desperate for their approval.
“So, what do you think?” asked Sassy Saddles earnestly.
“…Wow, I am…words escape me,” said Sunset hesitantly.
“Trixie…cannot even begin to describe how…unique these dresses are,” said Trixie with a nervous giggle.
“You definitely…did everything we asked for,” said Twilight, forcing a smile herself.
“So you that means you’re happy with them?” asked Sassy Saddles with a desperate, almost crazed look in her eyes.
“We’re…happy that you did so much for us,” said Starlight, avoiding the taller mare’s eye. “We made a lot of unreasonable demands of you.”
“Oh, it was no trouble at all!” said Sassy Saddles, perking up. “As long as your happy, I’m happy. I know you’ll knock them dead when you walk into the Grand Galloping Gala wearing these gowns.”
“Yeah, ‘cause they’ll gouge their eyes out,” Tempest muttered quietly before Sunset elbowed her in the flank.
“I’m just relieved to finally be done,” said Sassy Saddles, sighing contently. “Now we can put this nightmare behind us – “
Just then, the boutique door was thrown open much harder than necessary, making a loud banging noise. Sassy and the Mane Six looked to the front of the store as Grubber waddled inside, stomping his little feet.
“Hey, everypony, so glad to see you!” Grubber shouted loudly. “How’s everypony doing? Me? Oh, you know, I’ve just been in the hospital for FIVE DAYS! Not that any of you came to visit me!”
“Grubber, not the time,” Tempest hissed through gritted teeth.
“I mean, I get that I’m not a big deal like the rest of you ponies,” said Grubber furiously, marching around the shop. “But the least you could’ve done was acknowledge my existence” – he stopped in front of the awful dresses, staring up at them with bulging eyes – “…Wow, those are the ugliest dresses I’ve ever seen.”
“Grubber!” Sunset snapped, glancing anxiously in Sassy’s direction.
“Oh, come on, you can’t actually think this is good,” Grubber critiqued, waddling between the designs. “I mean, these amateurish designs look like a piled-on mishmash of everything but the kitchen sink! It’s like the designer had no idea what they were doing and just threw a bunch of random stuff together to make the most hideous dressed in ponydom. It's a downright horror show. If you wore these for Nightmare Night, you’d terrify every little foal in the kingdom – “
The pudgy hedgehog was suddenly lifted off the ground by a cyan aura and tossed across the store, landing in a large pile of discarded and scrapped fabric.
“I’m so sorry about that, Sassy,” Starlight apologized to the taller mare, who had gone stock-still during Grubber’s triage. “I’m sure Grubber didn’t mean it – “
“I did mean it!” Grubber yelled from across the store.
“…Starlight…,” Sassy Saddles spoke in a hollow voice.
“Yes…?” Starlight replied nervously.
“Do you actually like the dresses?” Sassy Saddles asked in the same hollow voice.
“Well…we’re very, very grateful for your generosity and the hard work you put into making them,” said Starlight. “But it’s come to our attention that we should not have gotten involved in your work.”
“Yeah, asking us for our opinion was a big mistake,” Trixie commented.
“We don’t know a thing about fashion,” said Moon Dancer.
“And these designs are proof of that,” said Sunset, cringing as she looked at the dresses again.
“We’re sorry for all the trouble we caused, Sassy,” Twilight apologized sincerely. “We should have let you make our outfits without our input. Those first dresses you designed were perfect.”
“But, hey, I think we all learned an important lesson from all this!” said Starlight brightly. “I’m sure we’ll all look back and have a big laugh about it!”
Starlight started laughing, but it was obviously forced. She snapped her head to the other mares and urged them to join in. One by one, everypony joined in, including Grubber, but there was an noticeable sense of apprehension about it. Sassy Saddles remained still as a statue.
“Uh…Sassy?” Twilight called nervously.
The taller mare’s right eye started twitching.
“Are…you okay, Sassy?” asked Sunset anxiously.
Sassy started to shake violently, her face turning red like a volcano about to erupt.
“Should we call an ambulance or…?” Trixie questioned uncertainly.
Steam was literally starting to rise from Sassy’s ears. The Mane Six cautiously back away until the fashionable mare literally exploded! Sassy Saddles screamed furiously and her horn unleashed a pulse wave of magic that pushed everything in the store against the walls, including the Mane Six, so that the entire middle was clear. Sassy then started bouncing in circles, bucking her hind legs at the air like a wild bronco.
“She’s totally lost it!” Trixie screamed, hiding behind Tempest.
“Sassy, calm down!” cried Twilight, terrified. “We said we’re sorry!”
Twilights words went ignored by the enraged mare, who suddenly started braying out of nowhere.
“Oh my Luna, she’s gone donkey!” Moon Dancer shrieked.
“Sassy, if you don’t calm down, I’ll force you to!” yelled Sunset, lighting up her horn.
Sassy lit up her own horn in retaliation. The door to the backroom flew open and a badass gilded battle axe levitated to her side!
“WHERE DID SHE GET THAT!” screamed Tempest.
Celestia gasped hopefully as she poked her head inside the ancient, worn-out treasure chest, only to be disappointed that she didn’t find what she was looking for and shut the lid.
“Luna!” Celestia called out to her sister on the opposite end of the royal treasury. The midnight mare had been admiring a gemstone-covered egg when she heard her sister’s cry. “Have you seen my badass gilded battle axe? You know, the one I used to fight Sombra during the Crystal War?”
“You didn’t leave it lying around again, did you?” Luna asked exasperatedly.
“No!” said Celestia, chortling nervously. “Uh…excuse me for a second.”
And on that note, the princess of the sun teleported herself to who knows where. Luna face-hoofed herself with an exaggerated sigh, then rubbed her muzzle thoughtfully.
“Hmm, now that I think about it,” Luna hummed. “Whatever happened to my badass silver broadsword?”
“Sassy, calm down!” cried Starlight, holding up her hooves. “I know you’re angry – “
Sassy took a swing with the axe. Starlight ducked underneath, but the surprisingly sharp blade sliced three mannequin pony heads off clean.
“Uh…should we run?” Moon Dancer asked Twilight fearfully.
“That would the smart decision, yes,” said Twilight.
The Mane Six and Grubber ran out of the store before Sassy took another swing at their heads. Trixie opened the door to her wagon, which was conveniently parked out in front, and let everypony inside before shutting it behind them. The stagemare then climbed to the front and used her horn magic to move and wheels and took off down the road like a bat out of Tartarus.
Sassy Saddles smashed through her recently repaired window, her nostrils flared and mane wild. Everypony on the street screamed when they saw the swinging battle axe and ducked out of sight. Sassy spied Trixie’s wagon, rearing up on her hind legs with an enraged whinny, and chased them.
Trixie made a beeline for the city gates, scaring the guard ponies who dived out of the way as the wagon barreled through the giant wooden doors. Trixie looked back and yelped when she saw Sassy Saddles keeping pace with her speedy wagon.
“How is she so fast?” the stagemare shrieked.
“Her rage has given her super pony powers!” yelled Tempest, sticking her head out the window.
“Trixie, cliff!” Twilight warned, poking out underneath Tempest and pointed ahead.
Trixie looked forward and realized they were rolling towards the edge of the mountain, but they were moving too fast to stop. Thdey flew off the edge of the cliff and plummeted down the mountainside. And Sassy dived after them with the battle axe between her teeth –
“And that’s how we ended up here,” Starlight concluded.
“Wait, you fell off a cliff and survived?” Sweetie Belle gasped.
“It wouldn’t be the first time,” said Moon Dancer nonchalantly, throwing away two cards.
“Yeah, we’ve gotten really good at it,” said Sunset, exchanging one card.
“Pardon me fer sayin’,” Apple Bloom spoke up, “but y’all are a bunch o’ jerks.”
“We realized that as we were falling ten thousand hooves to our deaths,” Trixie agreed, exchanging no card.
“We’re going to apologize to Sassy once she’s had a chance to calm down,” Twilight explained, also exchanging no cards. “Until then, would you mind letting us hide here for now.”
“Sure, ah guess that’s okay,” said Apple Bloom.
“Aren’t you guys worried she might hunt you down here?” asked Scootaloo.
“Nah, we lost her when we went through that bat cave,” said Grubber, exchanging three cards. “She’ll never find us here.”
THUNK!
“What was that?” asked Scootloo, looking up as the entire treehouse quivered.
THUNK! THUNK!
“It’s coming from outside,” said Twilight as the shaking became more frequent.
Everypony dropped what they were doing and squeezed themselves through the door. They looked over the railing down to the base of the tree and gasped.
Sassy Saddles had found them and she still looked peeved. She was chopping the tree with the battle axe and was halfway through.
“She found us!” screamed Starlight, panicking.
THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!
CRACK!
“We’re goin’ down!” Apple Bloom as the treehouse tilted sideways –
CRASH!
Trixie stepped out of her wagon levitating a cup of freshly brew potion. She carried it over to a now coolheaded Sassy Saddles, who was surrounding by a circle of concerned mares and one pudgy hedgehog. The stagemare offered the potion to Sassy.
“Here you go,” said Trixie. “One calming brew – one sip will wash away all their nerves and anxiety.”
“Thank you,” Sassy Saddles said gratefully in a small voice. She took a sip and, just as Trixie said, her entire body felt relax. “Mmm, that’s much better.”
“Are you okay, Sassy?” asked Starlight, patting the taller mare’s back in concern.
“I’ll be fine, Starlight,” Sassy Saddles reassured her. “Sorry I kinda…blew up on you guys.”
“Hey, it’s totally understandable,” said Tempest reasonably.
“We’re the ones who should apologize to you,” said Twilight understandingly “We shouldn’t have been critical on your dresses – “
“Especially when we have no sense of fashion,” Moon Dancer chimed in. “I mean, look at me. I’ve been wearing this ratty sweater for months.”
“The point they’re trying to make is…,” Sunset interjected, “you were generous and patient with us, and we took advantage of that. We’re sorry. Right, girls?”
The other mares nodded and make noises of affirmation.
“Oh, thank you, everypony,” said Sassy, relieved.
“You know, if you still have those dresses,” Starlight piped up, “I’m sure we’d be happy to try them on.”
“Really?” Sassy gasped hopefully. The Mane Six nodded together; Sassy clapped her hooves happily. “Splendid!”
Sassy Saddle’s horn lit up and she magically teleported all six folded dresses that she had left in the backroom of her boutique. She levitated the dresses to their respective owners and trotted over to join Grubber and the Cutie Mark Crusaders as they waited patiently for the mares to change behind the trees. After a few moments, the Mane Six trotted out into the open and posed for their small audience:
“Wow, they’re amazin’!” Apple Bloom complimented.
“That’s totally something Rraity would come up with!” Sweetie Belle praised.
“I like Tempest’s look,” said Scootloo. “It’s both stylish and mysterious!”
“Looking good out there everypony!” Grubber cheered.
“You know, now that we’re actually wearing them,” said Starlight, looking over herself. “These are absolutely perfect. Thank you, Sassy!”
“Oh, really, it was my pleasure,” Sassy Saddles smiled, clapping her hooves together.
“Ah’m so glad y’all had a peaceful resolution,” said Apple Bloom…who then pointed to the giant pile of splintered wood several yards to the right. “Now who’s gonna fix our treehouse?”
You could almost hear the needle scratching on the record as everypony froze in place. The Mane Six exchanged glances, then looked toward Sassy Saddles. The fashionista chuckled sheepishly.
It had taken hours for Sassy to finish fixing the Cutie Mark Crusader’s treehouse. It was only right since she had chopped it down with a badass battle axe Princess Celestia left in her shop for some random reason. She was grateful that the Mane Six offered to help.
By the time they finished and Sassy took the last train on the Friendship Express, it was already night time when she returned to Canterlot. The fashionista would’ve like nothing than to head home after a long day, but there was still the mess she left at the Canterlot Carousel after her…meltdown. That would undoubtedly take the entire night to clean up.
Sassy sighed dejectedly as she approached the boutique doors and pulled out her keys…not even realizing that the window she had broken earlier was mysteriously repaired.
“Well, might as well get this over with,” Sassy Saddles sighed. “This if going to be a long night….”
“But when she unlocked the door and flipped on the lights, she was shocked to discover everything was…normal.
All of the dresses were back on the racks, the mannequins were fixed and back in their proper places, and there wasn’t a single scratch, dent, or even a speck of dust on any surface.
“Wha – I – how did – “ Sassy Sputtered incoherently, walking further into the store.
She reached the back of the boutique where she found her hideous designs still on their mannequins. However, she also noticed a folded piece of paper taped to Starlight’s design. Sassy telepathically picked up the note, unfolded it, and read:
These designs may be ugly, darling, but the love and generosity you put into making them is beautiful. I know I chose the right mare for the job.
Love,
R
Sassy finished the note and smiled to herself…not seeing the streak of white light flying past the boutique window.