//------------------------------//
// Chapter 16 
// Story: A Heart of Crystal and Glass 
// by Mani-Roar 
//------------------------------//

I wasn’t in my bedroom, and I wasn’t in the Crystal Heart chamber at the top of the palace either. The room was spinning in sparkling light. If you could even call it a room at all. I couldn’t tell what was ground or wall or sky. It was like standing in a kaleidoscope while someone constantly spun the cylinder. I saw turquoise, and blue, and green, and teal. All of it glistening and forming around me in a beautiful array. My eyes were used to the magical darkness. This was an assault of colors and sparkles. It was making me dizzy.

“Please let me off.” I said to this fever dream I was having. “It’s too much.” I tucked my head into my hoof, and rubbed the side of my face.

“Sorry, sorry.” Someone responded so I braved blindness and looked up again. No one was there. There was nothing but a white void. Albeit, more subdued. I blinked my eyes multiple times, but they were adjusting quickly. 

 “It’s always too intense the first time. I sometimes forget. Wasn’t it beautiful though?” The voice spoke again.

“What?” I spoke into the void. No one was here. Here was nowhere, yet I could distinctly hear a voice. Had I gone insane?

“Never mind.” The voice dismissed me, sounding disappointed. “Would you prefer to be somewhere more comfortable? Like your room?”

“I don’t want to be in my room.” I stared at my own hooves in disbelief. None of this made sense. “I don’t want to be anywhere.”

“White void it is then.” 

“Who are you?”

“Who am I?” The disembodied voice countered with incredulity. “You called for me!” He declared as if that was obvious. “I should be asking who you are? In fact, I think I will. Who are you?”

“I-” I was at a loss. “I don’t know.”

“Hmmm, yes, I can see that?”

“Where am I?” I looked around the void. It was intense on the eyes, not having any point to focus on. 

“Now that is a much better question. Although I think it can be even better. Instead of ‘Where are you?’ what about ‘Where is this?’”

“Where is…” I started to repeat, when it hit me. “Are you the Crystal Heart?”

The room grew brighter with a burst of color that I could only imagine was in celebration of my correct answer. “The one and only.” He said. At least I think it was “he”. He didn’t have a physical body that I could see. But the voice was soothingly masculine, with a bit of humor. 

“Are you… are you alive? Like a real living being?”

“Oh yeah, just assume that the magical love artifact is an unthinking soulless power plant. It’s cool. I’m not offended or anything.”

I sucked in a breath of surprise. “I-I’m sorry?”

“Think about it.” He said, deciding to answer my question for once. “How could an object both harness and magnify love unless it was capable of love itself?”

“Love magic is essence manipulation which requires an essence to be present.” I rattled off like I was reading a textbook or somehow channeling Twilight.

“It’s so obvious when you actually think about it.” He declared gleefully.

“It just never crossed my mind.” I rubbed my eyes, still adjusting to the light. I had been blind for so long, in more ways than one. “Wait a minute. If you can see what’s going on, why did you turn off? Why didn’t you help us?”

“You know. I think I will change the room. This constant whiteness is a bit drab.”

“Don’t dodge the question!’ I demanded.

“I’d never dream of it.” In the blink of an eye, I was standing in my bedroom.

“I said I didn’t want to be in my room.” I looked around at my Crystal desk, my vanity table, and my immaculate bed. It looked like Pell had just cleaned up and made the bed. It hurt to see it again. Like it was a life I didn’t deserve. 

“Yes, indeed. However, sometimes we don’t get to choose our situation. That goes for Crystal Hearts as well.”

“Please.” I begged softly. “I can’t look at this place.”

With a small pop of light, the room stayed the same. But suddenly every surface, every piece of furniture and throw pillow was a vibrant shade of cheery, bubblegum pink and wholesome, baby blue. 

“That better?”

Somehow it was. So I nodded. I looked around my room, expecting him to appear from my closet or something. 

“Are you looking for me?” His amused voice was as annoying as Chrysalis’s was. At least he was playful instead of malicious. 

“Do you have a form, or some sort of body here in… uh… your mind?” I had no knowledge of how sentient artifacts worked. 

“Do you want me to have a form?” He asked as if I was picking out an ice cream flavor.

“I just wasn’t sure if you already had one.”

“How about this?”

My head snapped to the right as Pell appeared beside me. Standing in my room like she so often did.

“Pell?” I asked, feeling my face turn red. I was too embarrassed to face her. 

“Well, no.” Pell’s facial features moved in a way she never would, as the Crystal Heart’s male voice came out of her mouth. “But you clearly desire a face to speak to, and I figured a familiar one would be more comforting.” Pell’s face smiled at me with an extra twinge in her upturned cheek. The Crystal Heart spoke with more exaggerated expressions than the subtle and muted way Pell normally looked. However, they were both equally sarcastic. I blinked a few times to make sure my eyes were working properly. It was surreal to see Pell like this.

“Thank you for not appearing as Shining Armor.” I didn’t think I could take it at the moment.

“Yes, things do seem to be awkward in that regard.” He shook his head like my love life was a curious puzzle he wanted to solve. I decided to rapidly change the subject.

“Why did you abandon us?” I blurted out. 

“I didn’t abandon you.” His words and expression were uncharacteristically sincere. “My power vanished.”

“How can so much power vanish so quickly? So easily?” I glanced down at my own body. I was no longer bleeding or wearing ribbons as a bandage, but scars on both of my cutie marks remained and my wings were missing feathers. My eyes lingered on the slashes cutting through the image of the Crystal Heart on my body. 

As if reading my mind, he answered. “It’s a matter of quality, not quantity.”

“Quality?” My mind raced at the implication. “Is it because of me? Am I not good enough?” I stared at my defaced cutie mark. The wound no longer hurt physically, yet I still felt it intensely. 

“You’re always first to indict yourself. Why is that?” The heart had more questions for me than answers. 

“Because, I think what you're saying is that the Crystal Heart… you… require a genuine connection from a worthy steward. And I’m afraid that I’ve fallen short.”

“Hmmm.” He considered my words as his eyes drifted down to my flank. I might have blushed if it wasn’t the image of Pell, and the voice of what I assumed was some sort of demi god or celestial being. “You keep looking at your cutie mark. Why is that?”

“Are you going to answer any of my questions, or are we just going to trade back and forth?” His game was wearing thin on my patience. 

“Oh, I have no answers.” His smile got wider as my face contorted with frustration and confusion. “Everything that happens from here forward is up to you.” I wanted to challenge him, to look him in the eye, but my neck craned as my gaze cowardly fixated on my side. 

“Is this my real body, or am I a projection like you?” 

“Ooh, now we’re getting somewhere.” He took a step forward. “What makes you ask that?”

“My wound seems to be healed, and I don’t feel any pain. Yet the scar remains.” 

“Well of course it did. You chose to keep it there.” He pointed at my cutie mark, and my mind flooded with anger.

“What do you mean ‘I chose?’ I didn’t choose any of this.” I waved all around my quiet bedroom. 

“I appear before you in a form that I assume you want to see.” His voice explained very calm, and patiently. Much like Pell would have done. “In the same way, you appear before me in the way that you see yourself.”

“You’re saying that I’m rejecting myself?” I finally turned to look at him. “And in doing so, I’m rejecting the Crystal Heart.”

“Now you’re getting to the heart of the issue.” His eyebrow rose with his grin.

My eyes instinctively rolled. “If I were a crowd, I’d boo you.”

“Hahahaha!” He giggled with glee. “So spicy. Perhaps we’re due for a spicy Princess. We’ve had so many tender ones lately.” He flicked his hoof to the side. My mind thought of Twilight before I could stop it. I suppressed my own laugh. He noticed.

“Who are you thinking of? Anyone I know?” He dropped his voice and raised his eyebrow, much like Pell would have when telling a dirty joke.

“So it’s not that I’m not good enough, or unworthy.” I steered us back on track. Gossiping with a magical artifact was a step too far on the weird scale for me. “You’re saying I’m getting in my own way.”

“It was never a matter of competence.” He sighed. Did he need to take breaths? Or was he just mimicking bodily functions? “The qualification to connect with me, has always been a matter of heart.” He tapped on my chest with Pell’s hoof. I reeled momentarily at the sudden touch. “It’s right there in my name, for goodness sake.”

“You mean I just have to believe hard enough?” I scoffed. “Like some sort of poorly written children’s fantasy?”

His voice dropped to a low hum. “I thought you were a fan of children's stories.”

“The Changelings.” My cheeks flushed.

“What about the Changelings?” 

“Are the stories true? Did they used to be good?”

I knew he was going to ask before he even said it. “What do you think?”

“I think they were cursed through no fault of their own. I think they can be good again.” I thought of Thorax just wanting to see his brother returned safely. He knew he would be punished. He knew it meant failure, and a loss of his standing. Yet he did it anyway. Not out of greed, hunger, or selfish interest. Just pure love for his brother.

“Then they were good.” He nodded. 

“Is it that simple?” 

“It should be.” He shook his head. “But folks like to complicate things.”

“Well then, how do you solve the problem of the curse? The need to feed?”

He threw his hooves up in surrender. “Like I said, I have no answers.”

“Where do we go from here? What can I do?”

He paused for a few moments. Eying me, and considering his own options. 

“I’m at a bit of an impasse.” He admitted. “I’m going to be blunt with you, since you seem to like that sort of thing.” He waited to see if I would react, but I let him continue. 

“What happened to Cadance was tragic, and you seem…” His eyes darted as he tried to find the right word. “...Nice.” He settled on. “However, I cannot operate with a conductor who refuses to be a conduit.”

“Wait, is this a train metaphor or an electric circuit metaphor?” I tilted my head to the side. 

“Yes.” His sideways grin infuriated me. 

“Ok.” I wrinkled my brow thoroughly confused. 

“The point is, I cannot go forward if your doubts are going to poison the well.”

“But I want to help! I’ll do anything, please let me help.” I reached out to grab his shoulder, but he disappeared. Only for me to hear his voice behind me.

“I have no doubt of your will.” He was sprawled out on my bed. Pell would have lost her mind over the wrinkles he was making in her perfect tuck. That is if this room was real. “In fact, I pity anyone who dares match up against your will.”

“Then I accept the challenge!” I slapped my hoof down on the bed, causing it to jiggle. “Let me help. Let me do my job.” 

“But I don’t accept.” He sat up on the bed and folded his arms. Looking like an incredulous child. 

“Why?” I demanded.

“You’re so wishy washy.” He shook his head. “One moment you’re all gung ho, and the next you shrivel up.” His gazed pierced me, showing he could be quite serious when he wanted to be.

“I- I just don’t want to mess it up.” I admitted. “I only have a few weeks of memories in my head. I don’t remember anything.”

“Boring!”

I reeled back. He kept speaking. “Everytime you doubt yourself, you doubt me. You doubt the resolve of everyone under your charge.” 

He rolled off the bed and lept over to the desk. He pulled out my vanity seat, and plopped himself down with his hind hooves up on the counter. He leaned back with his hooves beyond his head, putting the chair on two legs with undo pressure on its small frame. I would have yelled at him if it was really my room. 

“Fine. Yes, it’s a boring answer. I can try. I’ve been trying. But what happens when I mess up? When I don’t know what I’m doing or what to do?” I watched as his hooves stretched kicking all my bottles and hair brushes off of the counter. I felt my eye twitch.

“When you doubt yourself, believe in me.” He waved his hoof and the room disappeared. We were back in the open chamber at the top of the castle spire. “When you don’t know something, defer to someone else’s knowledge.” The magical darkness had lifted, and the Crystal Heart lay on the ground behind the image of Pell in front of me. 

“When you don't know what to do, follow your heart and do what feels best.” Shining lay on the ground next to me. There was no sign of the Changelings. Was this reality, or still an image?

“And when, inevitably, you mess something up. Take responsibility and fix it with the help of everyone around you. You’re not in this alone, Princess. You never were.” He looked back at the heart on the floor. Looking at himself I suppose. 

“I can’t even imagine that kind of resolve.” I hung my head. “Especially when the stakes are so high.”

“Ridiculous!” He shouted in such a high pitch, it could have been Pell. “You see that sort of resolve every single day.”

“The Crystal Ponies.” I was starting to understand where he was coming from. The Crystal Ponies lived every day fearlessly, and full of conviction. Some of them had no power or magic, yet they believed. That’s why they could bow to me so reverently, yet I felt like I was the inferior one. 

“If you want to save the Crystal Ponies…” He began, and I finished. “Be more like the Crystal Ponies.” 

I thought of all of them down below. How many had been drained? How many had been killed or injured in the fighting and confusion? Were they as terrified as I was? Or were they looking up to the castle, waiting for their Princess to fix the Crystal Heart. Confidently waiting for everything to be returned to normal. My thoughts shifted to the Changelings. Lost, alone, hungry, and being misled by a mad mare leading them to destruction. 

“What if I want to save the Changelings too? Is it even possible?” I asked, worrying he would rebut me. Instead he smiled with the same warmth and kindness that Pell, and many others had shown me. 

“Do you think it’s possible?” He turned the question onto me yet again. 

I closed my eyes, but I no longer saw my nightmares. I saw what Pell had described in those children’s stories. The Crystal Ponies and the Changelings living together. Getting along, and loving one another. It was a naive dream that only a child could believe in.

“I do think it’s possible. I want to help them. I know there is good in them. I can feel it.” I opened my eyes, but the image of Pell was gone. Instead the Crystal Heart was floating in its place once more. Its glow was dim, but it was glowing nonetheless. 

“Wait.” I looked down at my side. The ribbon bandage was there, covering my dried blood, and partially cutting off my circulation. Had he already left me? It was dark outside, but I could see. I activated an illumination spell, and it made the whole chamber glow. 

“When did you…?” I began, but his voice filled my ears again.

“Alright. I’ve made up my mind.” The floating heart twinkled with each syllable. 

“I thought you said it was up to me?” I grinned, finally letting myself smile.

“It is.” He said confidently. “I convinced you to convince me. And you did a good job. I’m proud of myself.” His incessant giggling filled the room and sky. 

“Can you heal them?” My eyes drifted to the barely conscious Shining Armor. 

“Yes we can.” It felt like his arm was reaching out to me, even though he was a glowing Crystal Heart again. 

“How do I…”

“Leave that to me.” he reassured me. “Just open your heart, reach out to me with your essence.”

I did what he said. I allowed my essence to flow into the Crystal Heart, connecting us through a magical flow. It was the first time that I had truly connected with it, with him, since I’d woken up. I tried to leash it to me. Grabbing on with a panicked grip as if afraid I’d lose it.

“Stop trying to control it!” He chastised. “Just let it all pass over you. Let your energy echo with mine. With everyone’s.” 

I pulled back, loosening my reins. “I’m the conductor, but I’m also just the conduit at the same time.” I indulged his line of thinking.

“Now you’re getting it.”

I relaxed as I felt the love magic pass in and out of my essence. It was calming, fulfilling. I felt more enriched and fed than ever before. No amount of crepes or waffle towers could fill me up like this feeling. 

I chuckled to myself. “I can just hear the university scholars losing their minds over this ridiculously mixed metaphor.” I shook my head, as the love and hope of every mare, stallion, and foal flooded into me. 

“Yeah, well how many Crystal Hearts do they deal with on a daily basis?” He laughed back with me. I think the laughter was part of the medicine. That must be why he was so eccentric. 

“If they knew you could talk, they would never leave you alone. They’d spend eternity picking your brain and studying you.”

“And now you know why I stay quiet most of the time.”

“Fair enough. I promise to keep your secret.” I breathed a long overdue sigh of relief.

“And I’ll keep yours as well.”

I am enough. I told myself. I am good enough. I can do this. I am not alone. 

“Brace yourself.” He warned me. “This part is going to be a little intense, but you must trust me.”

“I trust you.” It was the second time I had said that tonight, and I’d meant it both times. I felt my body heat up, and my eyes opened instinctively. I was floating just like the Crystal Heart. There was a glowing tether connecting us, and countless strings of tethers heading out of the open chamber, down to the streets below. 

“Wh-what’s happening?” It was surreal being surrounded by such powerful magic, yet not casting it. I was just allowing it through me.

“I thought you trusted me?” He sneered.

“I do!” I pouted. “I just wanna know what’s going on, that’s all.” I would have crossed my hooves, but it felt out of place. Instead I opened my arms and embraced the flow of energy inside of me. 

“We’re about to heal everyone who was drained by the Changeling’s love magic.” 

I glanced over my shoulder to see the tether connecting me to Shining Armor. His eyes were open, glazed, but focused on me and the Crystal Heart. He looked stunned, yet showed no emotion on his face. All emotion had been taken from him.

“Love stealing magic.” I corrected the Crystal Heart.

“If you say so.”

I was about to question what he meant by that, when a radiant beam of magic burst from my chest.

“Ahhh!” I cried out, caught off guard. It was hot, but not burning. It pierced out of me, but there was no pain. 

I couldn’t see what was happening down below. My only frame of reference was Shining Armor. Who was blessedly awake. I watched as the color returned to his face. I watched his eyes reclaim their gleam. He managed to get to his knees and stand up, as his blank stunned face filled with concern. He looked afraid of what was happening to me, yet also full of wonder and amazement.

“Cadance?” He questioned. It was both comforting, and hurtful to hear his voice again. 

“It’s alright, Shining.” I saw my own glowing white eyes reflected in his irises. “Everything’s going to be ok. I promise.”

“I believe you.” He nodded. I let the magic feel its way through the city. I went on the journey with it, healing and touching hearts and minds. Each revived pony left my own heart feeling more whole. 

What could have been seconds or minutes passed, and we were back in the tower with the spell on its last breaths. 

“That felt… really good.” I told the heart. It gave a little pulse of light in response. I descended back to the marble platform of the Crystal Heart. The spell was finished, and the heart calmly floated over me. Still humming with its comforting glow like it always had. 

“Well done, Cadance.” The heart spoke to me, but Shining didn’t seem to hear it. “If that’s what you want to be called.”

“I’m not sure.” I said aloud. 

“Not sure of what?” Shining asked as he knelt over me, taking my hoof into his. 

“Hmmm.” The Crystal Heart pondered to me alone. “I suppose we’ll deal with that later.” And then, he was gone. Not completely, but his presence quietly left my mind. I was glad, because I was suddenly staring at a very concerned stallion.

“Cadance, you’re hurt!” I felt Shining caress the wound over my left cutie mark. “Who did these bandages?” He complained.

“Shut up.” I replied as my vision blurred. I felt like I wanted to go to sleep for another week long coma. 

“Oh, I see. My bad.” He awkwardly bit his bottom lip. “Well, don’t worry. We’ll get you fixed up properly.” He cradled my head with his hoof, ready to pick me up.

“Shining.” I said as my breathing grew heavier. “I’m sorry.”

“What do you-” He began, but I interrupted.

“I’m sorry that I tried to replace her.” I could feel tears welling up again, and I fought hard to suppress them. Unfortunately my strength was all but sapped. “I promise I won’t bother you anymore. I’ll let you grieve her. I just want…” 

“I heard you, you know that right?” He whispered. I could only blink up at him, fighting to remain conscious. 

“Do you…?” I couldn’t finish the thought. I couldn’t ask him if he felt the same way about me. My vision darkened around the edge of my eyesight. 

“I just want you to be happy.” Was the last thing I said before the exhaustion overcame me.





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