I woke up in his bed, covered in sheets that smelled like him. He was long gone, and judging by the light coming in through the window, it was already midday. I had missed breakfast, and probably lunch. Not to mention whatever other meetings and business was on my schedule. Was it Wednesday? Was I supposed to meet with the city’s planners on new construction, or the civil engineers about monthly maintenance? Whatever, it must not have been super important if no servants came looking for me. Pell would normally have a sharp opinion on me sleeping in.
“Oh good you’re finally awake, my lady.”
Speak of the devil herself.
“Pell!” I said way too excited.
“Yes, me.” She nodded as she darted straight for the curtains. “And why is it so dark in here?” I shielded my eyes just in time, as the light wrapped around my hooves and stung the corners of my firmly shut eyes.
“Why was I allowed to sleep so long?” I said as I slowly opened my eyes to readjust. Shining’s room was similar to mine. The door was on the right instead of the left, and his crystal furniture had a blue semi-transparent hue instead of a magenta one. His bed was a king size instead of a queen. For some reason that irritated me.
“Are you a school filly?” She asked as she picked up linens off of the floor. “Do you need an alarm clock, or a mother to shake you awake?” She walked over as I started sitting up, and playfully tugged on my shoulder. “Cadance sweetie,” her voice was mockingly saccharine, “It’s time to get up for school.”
I couldn’t help but giggle as I batted her hooves away.
“You know what I mean.” I leapt out of bed and stretched my back. “Normally I would be interrupted by something important if I tried to sleep this long.”
“Well, Shining said you needed your rest.” She started making the bed now that I was on my hooves. “So he took on all of your appointments or rescheduled them.”
“Oh.” I felt my cheeks flush. “That was nice of him.” More like condescending. As if he needed to pick up the slack for a Princess who wasn’t qualified for her own title. Then again, after our conversations last night, maybe he thought he was doing me a favor?
“Do you plan to punish him for his kindness?” Pell raised an eyebrow at my sour expression. Maybe he was trying to be kind and let me sleep. I wasn’t accustomed to battle like he was. It made sense to give me some consideration. It was hard to not be insecure after the lecture he gave me on the battlefield. And now… oh no, I had almost forgotten about last night. Maybe he was more than happy to avoid me at this point.
“Should I move your things to this room?” Pell smiled so genuinely. “I assume you’ll be staying in here for the foreseeable future?”
“I would hold off on that.” I looked at the floor, not wanting to spoil her fantasy the way I did Shining’s.
“So you did tell him.” She walked over to the door and closed it, so no one could hear us from the hallway. “I was worried you had put it off when I saw you in here.”
“Yeah I told him.”
“How did he take it?”
“Better than I thought, worse than I hoped.”
Pell sighed as she fluffed out the pillow I had slept on, placing a new case on the feather filled cushion.
“At least it’s done.” Something about her phrasing put a pit in my stomach. “Will you be divorcing soon?” She asked far too casually.
“Is everything just black and white for you?” I crossed my hooves in a huff.
“No, I just like to be prepared for the worst.”
I had no idea what to add to that, and I hated this conversation topic. Hated it because my heart ached at the thought. And, I quickly recognized, I was scared of losing him.
“Were you afraid yesterday, during the evacuation?” I asked Pell.
She turned to face me. The bed looked immaculate enough to be in an advertisement. A royal blue pillow tucked cozily next to a magenta pillow in a cream colored comforter.
“Afraid, yes.” She crossed her hooves to match mine. “Disheartened, no.”
“What makes you so-”
“The Crystal Heart shone brightly while my lord and lady were out defending our kingdom.” Her head was held high. “I knew we couldn’t be defeated.”
“Thank you for that.” I smiled even though my chest clutched with guilt ridden pain.
“For being optimistic?”
“For always being what I need, instead of what I want.” A tiny bit of warmth returned to my cold crystal heart. I had a mischievous thought to mess up the layers of decorative pillows on the bed and run from the room giggling.
“You don’t want me, my lady?” Pell’s pouty face almost looked convincing.
“I want my servants to be seen and not heard.” My wicked grin turned sideways up my cheek.
“Hmm.” Pell gave a single nod. “I was gonna have a feast of a late breakfast prepared for you, but how does cold gruel sound instead?” Her smile was as sweet as sugar.
“I’ll take it.” I called her bluff. “With our chefs, I’m sure even gruel will still taste amazing.”
“Well, you’re fortunate that I’m in the mood for banana-nut waffle cakes and tiramisu crepes.” She moved to open the bedroom door again. My mouth watered at the very mention of that breakfast, and that was probably only the first course. “It’s waiting for us in the east dining hall.” She gestured to the castle hallway as the sound of the midday bustle filled my ears.
It was improper for a servant to dine with a Princess while on duty. However, I didn’t give a rat's butt about that, and Pell knew it. I walked with her side by side down the hall as we chatted and caught up on the last few days. The last 48 hours felt like an entire year had passed. We arrived together at the long oak wood table in the east dining hall. As soon as we sat down, the kitchen staff brought out tray after tray of decadent breakfast masterpieces, just as Pell had promised.
“I hope you have a large appetite today, my lady.” The head chef bowed to me with a big grin on his face. “I felt the need to make up for lost meals since it’s close to 2pm.”
Was everyone going to comment on my sleeping in? I smiled gratefully as he adjusted his chef’s hat. Bowing with that hat was a chore on its own.
“Oh I am starving, Carnelian.” I had learned his name recently, and tried to learn as many of the servant’s names as possible. “And if I wasn’t, I’d make room for this.” My greedy eyes scanned the waffle tower sitting in front of me and Pell.
“There is no way the two of us will even make a dent in all of this.” I shook my head, already tasting the caramel dripping off the sides of the bananas and cream.
“Don’t worry, my lady.” Carnelian’s eyes drew to his own creation. “I always let my staff help themselves to your leftovers. They won’t go to waste.”
I paused as an impulsive idea stuck me.
“Why don’t you all join us while it’s hot and fresh?” I looked down at the many empty chairs at the long table. It never seemed right to me that the table should be so sparse at every meal. It was only ever full when a large party of dignitaries came to dine at the castle.
“My lady, we couldn’t…” He blushed as he glanced over at Pell, already seated next to me with her own table setting already in front of her.
“Why not?” I said as steam gently wafted off of the numerous trays of food. “Consider it my treat. Well, actually it’s your treat, but you get the idea.”
“I…” Carnelian stared at Pell as if asking for permission. She just shrugged in response. “My lady, we would be honored to dine with you.” He bowed one more time, and scurried off back through the double swinging doors to the kitchen.
“You’re in a good mood today. Must be all the sleep you had.” Pell commented. Her own gaze couldn’t help but linger on our feast. Like well trained dogs, we restrained ourselves from digging in just yet.
“Yesterday I was in combat for my life.” I closed my eyes to draw a deep breath. When the images of yesterday’s battle came forward, I opened them again before the thoughts could ruin my appetite. “I guess I feel like celebrating being alive today and hopefully tomorrow.”
After a moment, the double doors swung open and the entire kitchen staff walked gleefully into the dining hall. More than two dozen crystal ponies in white chef’s coats, or black serving button down shirts took their seats at the many open spots. A few of the servers brought out table settings for everyone. They calmly and professionally laid out everyone’s plate and cutlery before taking a seat for themselves. A few more servers poured juice and water for everyone, before doing the same. I grabbed my glass of orange juice and stood up.
“Friends.” I said as all eyes turned to me. “To the greatest kitchen staff in the Crystal Empire- Neigh!” I thought for a second. “In all of greater Equestria and beyond.” I held up my glass as everyone cheered and raised their glasses as well. The dining hall was filled with the sounds of glass clinking and cheerful muttering. Sounds that were all too infrequent for a hall that was meant to have it.
We dined. We laughed. We shared. We feasted. It was the first true celebration I’d had since I woke up in a Princess’s body. Everyday was filled with duties, meetings, and sometimes to our despair, tragedy. Today there would be no tragedy. We would eat, drink, and celebrate. Tradition and duty be damned.
“My lord!” Carnelian’s panicked voice made me spin around to face the entrance to the dining hall.
“Oh.” Shining Armor’s blinked as he glanced around the room. He was flanked by pretty much every city organizer and politician I had seen or dealt with thus far. I recognized the mayor of the Crystal Capital, the head of the city commission, the police chief, the fire marshal, and many other important ponies.
“My lord, we were just we…” Carnelian fumbled with his hat as he waved his free hoof at the staff. In a second, they were all standing up, and moving to clean up the room.
“I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?” Shining raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t looked at me yet. Was that on purpose? The situation was pretty distracting. It could have just been my imagination.
“We were just cleaning up.” Carnelian bowed to his Prince.
“It was my idea.” I blurted out, and Shining finally looked my way. I couldn’t read what was on his face. He looked a bit confused, yet also so neutral. He was never neutral. Even when sitting through boring meetings.
“What was your idea?” He said to me, but switched to look at Carnelian before I could say anything. “We’re about to hold a meeting for the Crystal Fair Council, but we can wait until you’re all done.”
The Crystal Fair? I had forgotten about that. Twilight had told me about the annual festival. How she and her friends helped host the first one since the Crystal Ponies were asleep in stasis for a thousand years. Which was still something I struggled to wrap my head around. A thousand year nap, only to wake up in a completely different world than the one you remember. It really put my own situation into perspective.
“I’m so sorry to delay you and the council, my lord.” Carnelian bowed again. “We will have the room spotless for you in-”
“Carnelian!” Shining yelled and the head chef flinched. I gave him a nasty look for his tone as he cleared his throat. “Nopony is in trouble. I don’t care about this…” he gestured around the room. Carnelian recoiled, his face looked like Shining had struck him. “I-I mean I don’t mind that you're all eating together. It’s fine. And the meeting can wait. Please… uh finish at your leisure.”
Shining and Carnelian stood in silence for a moment. The Crystal Fair council members looked around at each other, shrugging and mumbling. The kitchen staff had frozen in place. Some had half filled a cart with used plates and cutlery. Their faces looked uncomfortable. Nopony seemed to know what to do.
“Did everyone get enough to eat?” I asked, breaking the awkward silence. The kitchen staff nodded and mumbled soft affirmations as they continued to clean up the breakfast area. As quickly as our impromptu mid afternoon breakfast began, it was over. There was a somber hush as the staff carted off dishes, and wiped down the table. Despite the slowness of their movements, the room was clean and clear of kitchen staff remarkably fast. Nobody bothered to say anything until the double kitchen doors stopped swinging for the last time. The city delegates chatted quietly to each other, waiting to be instructed before sitting at the immaculate table. The kitchen staff had placed a frilly tablecloth and a rose bouquet centerpiece to make the room look more inviting for the meeting.
“Way to read the room.” I smirked at Shining. He spun a little too sharply to face me.
“Can you not right now?” His annoyed expression caught me off guard.
“Can I not what?” I held up my hooves while leaning back in my seat.
“Can you… nevermind.” He levitated a stack of notes with his magic, placing them on the long table. He screeched the chair along the floor as he pulled it out and plopped down like a missile into the seat. He let out a grumbling sigh as he fiddled with his meeting notes.
“Who levitated your cereal off the balcony today?”
“Everypony, have a seat, please.” He called to the meeting staff, completely ignoring me. “We’ll begin in just a moment.”
“Is everything ok?” I said as everyone did as Shining asked, ignoring the two of us by chatting away with their own conversations while laying out their books, notes, and scrolls.
“Everything is fine.” He glared firmly at the table, avoiding my gaze. I had seen him more “fine” on the battlefield. Literally yesterday. “I just need you not to be a distraction right now. This is a very important meeting.”
My voice cut to a low tenor, and I did my best to keep my volume low. “A distraction?” I looked around the room. No one was staring at us. We hadn’t caused a scene just yet. “Should I leave? I don’t want to distract you from your meeting.”
“No, you should be at the meeting. We’re talking about the Crystal Fair and everypony is nervous and scared…” He paused, calming himself down. Inhaling with his hoof on his chest, and exhaling extending his hoof outward. Similar to what Twilight did to calm down. Except, unlike Twilight, it seemed to visibly work for Shining. “We need you at the meeting, just…” he made circle motions with his hooves. “Don’t be a distraction.”
“So don’t participate.” I leaned against my hoof with my elbow on the table.
He turned to glare directly at me, making me miss him avoiding eye contact. I could deal with no eye contact, the glares were making me angry.
“Stop putting words in my mouth.” He hissed.
I wanted to get up and leave. Screw this. I didn't know what his problem was today. I didn’t want to know. Was it because of last night? He finally accepted the truth, but he couldn’t handle it yet. Pell’s mild comment of divorce sent a shock of panic to my heart. I stayed silent in my seat, moving as little as possible so as not to distract anyone. I had never seen this many ponies for just one meeting. Almost every seat at this obnoxiously long table was filled. The Crystal Fair was the most important event of the year, so I was told, and it was happening in the middle of a crisis.
I was about to get up and storm out when Shining turned away from me and abruptly began the meeting.
“Friends.” He stood up, leaning over the table with his hooves resting on his notes. Everypony ceased their private conversations to give the Prince their undivided attention. “I won’t mince words with you.” Most of the Crystal ponies looked to be about middle aged or older, with a few young faced exceptions. Their sparkly coats blended together like a stained glass menagerie. It was a sight I had gotten used to seeing. The vast majority of the population was of this crystalized variant of pony. Their bodies were still fur, and their manes hair. The natural glow was an aesthetic appearance that was chalked up to a mix of magic, and genetic adaptation to the Crystal Mountain regions. Today it stuck out to me like it did on the first day when I woke up. The stark contrast between the matted, pastel colored ponies (myself, Flash, and Shining), and these crystal creatures who otherwise looked like us.
“The Changeling threat is far from behind us. Our Captain and brave soldiers have been successfully returned to us, following a victorious battle where the mountains meet the forest. However…”
Shining’s sober eyes didn’t match the triumph of his speech.
“The enemy outnumbers us. Greatly. Our best posture is a defensive one. Captain Flash Sentry and I believe their likely next target is our most well defended position: the capital.”
He paused, but no Crystal Pony even considered interjecting.
“As much as I would love to take the fight to them, to spare the capital and its citizens the horror and trauma of being the epicenter of a battle…” He bit his bottom lip. His shoulders started to slump before he forced them back to a better posture, sticking out his chest. “The truth is we would likely lose that battle. We were lucky enough to outmaneuver the Changelings while their Queen was absent. Without the Crystal Heart boosting our shields and weapons, we are vulnerable. The highest probability of winning, resulting in the lowest casualties, would be to rebuff an assault on the capital itself.”
The elegant and well respected Crystal Pony representatives whispered and muttered to each other. Shining allowed them a moment to digress amongst themselves.
“When they attack, not if, when.” Shining made a point to make direct eye contact with as many ponies as possible at that comment. Everyone except me. “The civilian population will be evacuated to the underground shelters, and the battle will begin properly. The shields will buy us enough time for the evacuation under normal circumstances, so as the innocent are protected, and also not a liability to the defense effort.”
I raised my eyebrow at the word “liability.” I wasn’t the only one who reacted to his word choice. A soldier may be required to think of things this way in a battle, even if it comes across diminishing. Was I just another liability to him? Along with his entire Kingdom?
“Unfortunately, this leads me to the heart of the issue today.” Shining glanced at Flash Sentry, who was sitting directly across from Shining and myself. “I won’t sugar coat this, the Crystal Fair is likely an enemy soft target. Our evacuation plans are designed for normal daily hoof traffic circumstances. The Crystal Fair will have everypony centralized in one location, which could easily lead to congestion and panic in an emergency situation. A botched evacuation could lead to catastrophe in the event of a Changeling assault. Therefore, I conclude that the Crystal Fair must be canceled until the Changeling threat is diminished.”
The meeting room was silent. Everyone sat thinking and reflecting on the bomb Shining Armor had just dropped on them. The meeting room sat still like a painting, with Shining leaning over the dark wood table facing his stunned council members.
“My lord, if I may...” A silver unicorn spoke up from a few seats down. His eyes were wrinkled with worn fur wrapping around his cheeks. His beard was peppered gray and white on his chin that tucked down into his exposed collar bone. He looked as if sitting was tiring for him. I recognized him as the current mayor of the Crystal Capital. The oldest citizen in the Crystal Empire.
“Of course you may.” Shining nodded, sitting down and putting himself at eye level with the Crystal elder. “This is a discussion. I want to know what everypony is thinking and feeling. The Princess and I may have final say on the issue, but I won’t go against the will of this council.”
Do what I say or fight your Prince on the issue, and if it goes south it’s your fault not mine. Was that me putting words in his mouth again? It was hard for me not to read into what he said that way.
“Your risk assessment is correct, and you are wise to be cautious. A large festival crowd does indeed bring greater risk to a potential evacuation.” The elder took a moment to breathe audibly. I would have thought he was asleep if his eyes weren’t appraising Shining as if he were some sort of puzzle.
“So you agree it should be canceled, Mr. Mayor?” Shining asked and got a long solemn gaze as his response.
“Do you remember the first Crystal Fair we held after our long slumber?” The elder finally said. The Crystal Ponies in the room straightened their backs and drew in deep breaths at the mention of the thousand year stasis they had experienced.
“Of course I do.” Shining looked offended. “I was there. We defeated Sombra. The Princess and I were crowned under the light of the Crystal Heart. I will never forget that day.”
The Princess? Was he avoiding saying my name?
“I’m sure you do, my lord.” The mayor’s soft head nod took longer than breakfast did. “We usually remember the what, and the where, and the who, and how.” His rhythmic whisper of a voice was like listening to a poetry reading, or a song. “But we often forget the ‘why.’” His song cadenced.
“I don’t understand.” Shining shook his head. “What does this have to do with…?”
“When did we hold that festival?” His song went into the next verse.
“Well, let me think.” Shining scratched his chin as he pondered. “It was after my wedding, but before…”
“Was it before or after Sombra was defeated?” The mayor interrupted.
Shining’s jaw tightened as he pondered the old stallion’s question.
“Before.” He finally answered. His face remained confused, but his shoulders relaxed. As if his body understood the meaning behind the question.
“What sort of irresponsible leaders would hold a festival while a threat like Sombra- the very evil who put our people asleep for a thousand years, still loomed over us?” The mayor tilted his head as he finished his sassy quip.
A shift occurred in the meeting. Only a moment ago, crystal faces of respected members of the community had looked upon their mayor with sympathy. The same sympathy I had seen afforded to me way too often since I woke up. A loving sympathy disguising an unfair truth that the one you sympathized with was naive. Mistaken. Out of touch. Unaware. Incapable.
Wrong.
Those same faces shifted to their Prince. Faces that shared a burning question within them that none of them dared express outloud. None of them except the gentle, naive, old stallion.
“That was different.” Shining shook his head. “You had just woken up. The Crystal Heart was depleted. There was no defense against Sombra unless that ancient magic could be awakened. It was our only recourse, so we took it.”
“Is the same not true now?” The elder pleaded. Shining and Flash shared a pensive glance with each other. I guess they finally agreed on something. It was weird to see them on the same page.
“The Crystal Heart is fully functional.” Flash chimed in for his Prince. “It’s emitting plenty of power to run the city, and our defensive measures. We appreciate the love and community of the Crystal Ponies.”
We appreciate, he says.
“And we know that the Heart converts that love energy directly into power.”
But, I knew a “but” was coming.
“However,” close enough. Flash continued, “With the power reserves being as high as they are, it seems excessive and greedy to put the population at risk, unnecessarily, just to obtain more power.”
He kept referring to it as power. I didn’t think the elder nor the other council members were interested in obtaining power. I looked at Shining and Flash’s faces, noting their complexion. I looked at my own hooves. Compared to the Crystal Ponies we were drab, matte, and pale. I couldn’t help but notice that the dull colored outsiders seemed to be the ones directing the conversation. Making all of the decisions.
“It is the same now as it was then.” The mayor’s gentle voice carried a weight that gave Shining and Flash pause. “Our people are afraid, lost, confused, uncertain of the future. We are suspicious of each other to the point where one can’t turn a street corner without three ponies demanding you undergo a Changeling test. We need the Crystal Fair now as much as we did then. Perhaps more so. We must, once again, be reminded of who we are.”
“We understand the risks.” Mr. Mayor looked directly at Flash, then to Shining. Calculated risks win wars, the Captain had said to me recently. “If we cannot be allowed to be who we are, then you should take down your shields and let the Changelings in.”
Shining and Flash staggered back in their seats. Both blinking stallions looked at each other, not sure if what they heard was real. They looked at the other council members for a reaction, but the community ponies, some young, some old, looked soberly at each other and said nothing.
Shining rubbed the back of his neck. Collecting himself enough to respond. “I-I understand how you feel.”
Do you? I thought. I wasn’t sure I understood, but I knew that he meant it. The Crystal Pony’s identity was more important to him than their safety. Did all of them feel that way?
“But safety is paramount in the current climate.” Shining sounded like he was quoting someone else.
“I ask that we put it to a vote.” The mayor said as his fellow council members turned their gazes back to Shining.
“Well, certainly.” Shining looked away from the elder to his notes. “I don’t mind that, but you must understand that the royal party has final say on matters such as this.”
I thought you weren't going to go against their will. I remember his words from just a moment ago.
“We are well aware.” The elder smiled. The cracks in his cheeks outlined the warmth from his eyes that surrounded and filled the room. His stare wasn’t one of resentment, but of pity. It was Shining’s turn to be the out of touch, naive voice in the room. “All the same. We would like to put our votes on the record.”
“Very well.” Shining stood up and scanned the faces of everyone in the room. Forcing himself to make eye contact with them, even if he wanted to look away.
“All in favor of proceeding with the annual Crystal Fair, please raise your hoof.” Shining watched as every crystal complexion raised a sparkling hoof into the air. He was completely and utterly outvoted.
All of the confidence drained from his voice. “Any opposed?”
He swallowed as he looked down at the Captain of his royal guard. “Flash?” Flash took a moment to absorb the room.
“I have no vote. I stand with the decision of my Lord.” Flash’s eyes drew to mine. “And Lady.”
Shining turned to me for the first time since the meeting began.
“Princess?” He regarded me with suspicion. I had fought him so many times. I would lash out and rebel anytime I thought he, or someone, was trying to impose their will on me. I had acted on impulse so many times in the name of my own self expression. My selfishness had gotten in my own way and risked many lives. Including his and my own. He expected me to vote against him. I could read it on his face. Just another rebellious act from the naive Princess who thought she could get away with anything. Impose her will while denying the will of others. Yet, if I voted with him, I would be imposing his will onto the Crystal Ponies, as if it were my own. Their voice was clear. It was their time to be heard, not mine.
“Abstain.” I threw my tie break in the trash. Everyone’s face looked shocked, except for the elder, who sat amused. He stroked his considerable beard as he pondered my decision. Or lack thereof.
I stood from my seat and walked towards the exit door.
“Where are you going?” Shining demanded. “You’re just gonna walk out on this?” I turned to look at his betrayed eyes.
“The Crystal Ponies have made their decision clear.” I watched as Shining’s expression turned dumbfounded. “I don’t know why you and I would even bother to cast a vote. This is their identity and culture, not ours. We should, above all, respect that.”
I turned and left the room without another word. No one called for me to stop. If Shining was going to overrule the will of his own Kingdom, he would have to do it on his own. I wouldn’t contribute to any pretense of consensus or compromise. The Crystal Ponies knew who they were and were willing to fight for it. Possibly die for it. It was time I learned who I was.
****