Chapter One: The Epiphpony
I wake up every day and as I get ready for everything I plan on doing, I can't help but feel this growing hurt in the deepest pit of my heart. I don't know what it's from, but I do believe it has been the cause for all my anxiousness these past years while I've lived in Ponyville alone. For some reason, what I do in my everyday life just seems wrong. I can't quite put a hoof on it, but it's there and something is very, very wrong. I spend hours in the night thinking about what exactly it is that could be missing.
One particular morning after a rather sleepless night, I laid in bed and thought some more about an answer for my predicament. My groggy thoughts were interrupted though by Angel hopping up onto my bed with his usual morning impatience.
"Oh...Good morning, Angel!" I said, happy to see my furry friend, despite his pushy behavior. I was used to it by now and this routine felt as normal as anything else in my life. "How did my little bunny-wunny sleep this morning? I'll get your carrots right away." Angel then hopped off of my bed and bounced away and out of the room. I sleepily got up and went to greet all my animal friends.
Admittedly, a small idea of the reason for feeling this void has been in my head for months now, but the idea seems silly and illogical to say the very least. I also can't deny that the idea feels right, though. I walked through my house gathering all the different types of food I need for those staying in my house with me. Suddenly, a sharp bell ringing throughout my house startled me and caused me to drop all the food I had ready for the animals. I hadn't been expecting any visitors that morning, so I started galloping across my house to see who it could possibly be. I opened my door as soon as I reached it and was looking at our town mail carrier, Post Haste. Post had a small envelope in his mouth.
"Oh, h-hi Post. Good morning." I whispered, happy to see him. That was when an idea hit me. I'd been wondering for a while what it would be like to be a colt, and what better pony to ask than a colt?
"Morning Miss Fluttershy! Beautiful day isn't it?" he asked as I took the letter from his mouth.
"Yes, very!" I muffled as I set the letter down on a small table next to the door. "Uhm, Post, who else do you have letters to deliver to this morning?" Post Haste paused for a second, but then told me that no one else was on his list, "W-well...I was wondering, i-if you don't mind, if you and I could talk for a little bit...if you don't have other plans that is. It's okay if you do..."
Post Haste smiled, "Miss Fluttershy, I'd love to talk with you. What about?" I looked down timidly, not wanting to talk about it unless I was in my house. I bit my bottom lip and shrugged. Post Haste nodded, "Well alright. Want to go back inside so we can talk?"
I looked up at him, "Oh yes!" I cheered and ran inside. As I arrived in my kitchen, I realized my mistake, I galloped back to the doorway and faced Post. "Uhm, the kitchen is this way. Please close the door and help yourself in." I then turned back around and continued in making my way towards preparing some mint tea for us both. Once the tea was finally ready and we were both settled in at the kitchen table, I was finally ready to start asking Post questions. I was very nervous, afraid he would think I was a freak.
"So, what brings me here today, Miss Fluttershy?" he asked, sipping his tea and smiling. I sipped from my own cup, stalling and trying to find the right way to put this.
"W-well, what is it like to...be a c-colt....?" I asked, terrified as the words came out of my mouth. Post looked at me quizzically, but didn't hesitate to answer,
"You mean as opposed to a mare? Well, I like being a colt just fine! You're strong, tall, and nopony has any strong opinions over what you should wear or do or dress or act. Well, except the Mayor. Lots of mare fashion, less so in stallion fashion. Yeah, uh, being a colt is fun I suppose. I don't really know how else to describe it, I don't think I've had to before." Just that small description was enough to make my heart feel fuzzy and I knew my idea was on the right track.
I smiled and nodded, "Please go on." I cooed.
"Well, you don't have a long stringy mane like most mares do, which makes for us having easy and less grooming. I work at keeping everypony happy with everypony else. I tend to tease mares, but it's all in good fun and nopony ever seems too upset about it." I kept my eyes closed as I started to envision all the things Post Haste was talking about, but rather doing them myself. It felt very wrong at first, but by the end of his description, I was smiling to myself. "Why do you ask, Miss Fluttershy?" He laughed and then sipping his tea asked playfully, "Don't like being a mare anymore?"
I shot my eyes open registering what was actually going on. He probably thought I was a freak. Of course he did, nopony that's normal would ever want to be a colt instead of a mare. Hearing his question out loud made me squeal out of fear of what he might say or do next.
I jumped away from the table grabbing my tea and brought it to the sink, "I-I'm sorry Post, it's getting late and I still haven't fed Angel yet and I still have so much to do and I'm sorry but I must ask you to leave." I spit out. Post Haste brought his tea to the sink and smiled,
"Well thank you for the tea, Miss Fluttershy. And thank you for the chat. Just remember, I'm here for you if you need anything. I won't judge you or anything. Nopony should be judged for how they feel inside. Have a good day." I couldn't even look the colt in the eye. Tears came to me and I quickly shut my eyes, still scared regardless of what he'd just said.
"Thank you, Post. H-have a good day." Post Haste smiled and saw himself out. As soon as I heard the door close I collapsed on the ground sobbing. I knew something had been wrong with my life and now I know what it is but I don't know how to face this. I searched my brain for the term that was associated with a mare who felt like they wanted to be a colt and at first nothing came to mind. Then it hit me, "I-I'm not a t-trans...pony...I-I...can't....be...." I muttered in between sobs. All of this was hitting me so hard. The more I thought about being a colt, the more it felt right to me. It didn't make sense though because I'd only ever heard of one transpony, and I don't even know if that was just an old mare's tale or not.
I got up and found myself standing in front of my mirror in the hallway. I placed my mane so that it was mostly hidden except for what was on the top of my head, trying to picture myself as a colt. After a minute of starring I found that Angel had joined me. "Well Angel, what do you think?" Angel just looked at me. I faced away from him and looked back at myself. It felt wrong, but it also felt right, and looked right. So what did this mean?
Before I could have another thought, I felt my door slam open and high pitched cries coming from a hysterical mare filled my house.
"Fluttershy!" she cried, "Fluttershyyy! Get a pot of mint tea ready would you, darling?! Something terribly dreadful has happened!" Rarity whined.