//------------------------------// // Chapter VI // Story: Definitions // by Techno Flare //------------------------------// I was content with being a unicorn. I’d considered the possibility of either being an earth pony or a pegasus, but taking away the magic and spellcasting and Wednesday nights in the caves would be taking away so much value in my life. The pros and cons were never even close. Then, I saw Ponyville from the chariot. If I could have taken more open air travel opportunities, then I most certainly would have, after that incredible experience. It was all impressive, but not in the Canterlot Elite interpretation of impressive where regal decor shone in every corner and glowing magic permeated each wall. No, the vastness overtook my senses while I glided in its unending sky. I began contemplating how much of the world I was missing each time I teleported. So many potential connections to my surroundings could have been made with one scenic trip, ones that I hoped to undertake more often. The irreplaceable efficiency of teleportation – and most magic – still had its place, but all I needed was one chariot ride to understand the pride of the pegasi. Hay roofing lay sprawled out between the messy web of gravel streets, and a tree or two poked out from the rolling hills in between white brick houses. The lush greenery overwhelmed the unfortified outskirts, casting the houses in leafy shadows. At the center of the spidering pattern lay a plaza with a bakery, a spa, and a peculiar shop which sold both quills and sofas, according to the chariot drivers who planned to stop there before they headed back to Canterlot. The castle-crystal-tree was the crowning jewel of the town, nestled between mountains and flanked by the waterfalls of the Friendship School. As we passed over the first stretch of orchards, I could make out four unicorns waiting outside the castle doors. I knew that Princess Twilight had sent word that I was coming, but I was not expecting a whole welcoming party. Nothing like this happened when I would arrive in Canterlot after a trip home. The descent was swift and painless, but before I could thank the Guards and say hello, an amber hoof was outstretched into the chariot. “Luster Dawn, right?” I rose my head above the hoof. Housed in a collar was a head that looked to be on fire with its vibrant red and yellow mane. “I’m Sunset Shimmer, the mayor here.” “Thank you, mayor. Glad to meet you.” Matching the eager smile she wore, I took the hoof and hopped down to where the sun couldn’t reach me. I was met with three other vibrant smiles. “Let’s get some quick introductions going,” Sunset said with enough zeal for both of us. “First on the right is Starlight Glimmer, the Headmare at the School of Friendship. After that is Sunburst, Vice Headma—stallion. I said stallion this time.” The formalities gave way, interrupting Sunburst’s sheepish wave due to a fit of chuckles from the crowd. “And last in line is Moondancer, the librarian here for both collections. I understand that she’ll be the one helping you with your work, right?” Moondancer came forward, her taped glasses needing a quick readjustment to take in all of me. “I’m glad you came, Luster Dawn, because I’ve been meaning to give this key to a pony who would make use of it.” Hanging in front of me, the hourglass handle reflected bright sheens of morning sunlight into my eyes. Replacing Moondancer’s white glowing aura with my own, I stuffed the tower library’s key directly into my saddlebags. “Happy to meet you, all of you,” I said, trying to make eye contact with all of them. The Headmare was focused on Sunset, however. “It’s getting later than I thought, we should probably head to the station now.” Then she turned to me, her dress twirling out around her hind legs. “I can’t wait to hear about your apprenticeship under Twilight, Luster Dawn, but we’ll have Moondancer help you get settled while we meet some other ponies for an arrival.” Sunburst gave a swift peck to Moondancer’s cheek as he broke away, my own self just realizing that they had barely separated since I had arrived. “I’ll let Flurry Heart know that you’re excited to see her again.” My brain shorted from the sheer disbelief. “Wait, Princess Flurry Heart?” “Last night,” the mayor sighed while oblivious to my hanging jaw, “a stray letter poofed onto my bed just as I was hopping in it. Princess Cadance and company decided to move up their usual moonly trip to Ponyville a weekend early. So, we have to cut this short, but I’m sure you’re raring to get to your searching.” That cunning filly actually managed to make a change in plans that quickly for the entire royal family. I shook my mind free of those thoughts before they started doing laps. Work was the next thing in my head. “No worries, I am pretty excited about this project.” Another chuckle of approval, but they began rounding the gold chariot in order to reach the plaza. “Thanks for the warm welcome!” Another round of waves and well-wishing left myself and Moondancer in front of a different pair of unreasonably large doors. The stairs clanked on her hooves as she said, “It’s a maze in here, even though it looks small. Stay close by, I’ll take you to where you’ll be staying.” “Don’t have to tell me twice.” I made two quick leaps and joined her in the vast hallway which extended far beyond where the tree should have ended. Even through my upward gaze scanning past the violet brick walls, the ceiling evaded my view. Ornate accents and crystalline structures jutted out in too many spots to make sense of. Carpets extended in three directions until jumbling into the staircases or massive decorative tree paintings or a banner with a book. The archways just ahead contained luminescent crystals which bounced and glared to cause streaks in my vision. I thought I remembered seeing some windows as well. My guide never once winced or slowed, her monotonous trotting clogged my thoughts. Forced to keep up with her, I could not process the entirety of my environment, and we began our trek to my room. Within the silence, I retreated into my mind in an attempt to relax it, but that proved to be a poor choice. We climbed that long staircase as I was confronted with the consideration of my future, as Princess Twilight had urged. The signals in my mind were firing in far too many areas, so I wound up latching onto her, my mentor. I attempted to remember her own stories of uncertainty, of which there were too many. That did relieve me slightly. Of course, imagining how she felt while inside of the realm of her own magic’s creation proved to only cause my posture to stiffen more. This isn’t where she planned to live when she moved to Ponyville, in fact she despised it at one point. She never planned to grow wings and rule Equestria, until the nation needed her at the helm. She adapted to her circumstances, but plans seemed to be made for her. We took a turn to a hallway which clicked as our hooves met the cold marble, reflective and gray like a mirror. My reflection stared back at me, pensive and troubled as if she could foresee my future and its woes. The ones I hoped – no, expected – to avoid. Princess Twilight’s followup questions began echoing and sending waves through my vision and the reflection. They were trivial, in the scheme of it all, but those pesky details wanted to be found by my decisions. If Twilight had those arrangements made for her in pursuit of her goals, perhaps that was my path as well. That just redirected me to the giant rabbit hole which I had been avoiding going down: figuring out a goal for myself. Moondancer once again turned on a dime, leading me into a hallway with almost completely new decor, which I had to once again digest. The columns of vibrant rocks now topped off with a gem heart, and in between each column was a cloudy night skyscape painted onto the stone with greenish blues and twinkling stars. In the doorway, I hesitated for a moment. It was involuntary, and it only lasted for just a split second. Maybe it was the number of doors, the contrast of the shiny stone with the calm carpet, or the sheer size of every detail, something overwhelmed me. And maybe I was kidding myself about what exactly caused that hesitation. Moondancer paused in front of an unmarked, undistinguished door. Her aura revealed a perfectly empty room besides a freshly made bed, a wide dresser with a lamp, and a wooden lectern with some room to pace around it. I noticed some paper within the lectern, and asked about them. “Those are the catalogs for both libraries, and the one on top should be for the school’s. We’ll cover that one first, probably stop for lunch at some point. Take your time to get settled and comfortable. When you’re done, I’ll be in the library, down three doors that-a-way. Any other questions for me now?” After spacing out, I stepped into the room which would be able to fit two of my apartments in it, gazing at the tall ceilings and gems hanging down of all colors. “N-no, this is great, everything is great so far.” She shut the door, leaving me alone with my fascination. I wandered over to the small window overlooking the town. My heart told me to come to Ponyville to look for a lost document. My place and purpose in life may not be revealed to me yet, but my mentor found her way through the world by following her heart and focusing on the work ahead of her. I focused on my work, followed my intuition, and had found success so far. I was replicating her journey, and saw no reason to change the itinerary. Research was my future — nothing more, nothing less. Life was too fluid to depend on anything else remaining, especially locations of work. My magic, and all the labor that went into it, that was the only thing I have been able to carry through my stages of life. The relationships I made in Canterlot would probably end up just like the relationships I made in Baltimare, that gloomy city. Feedback wrapped around my horn as I heard electric zaps behind me. “Dawn!”  The one pony who could have proven me wrong spread her wings as she walked towards me. “Finally found you. Auntie said the paper might be here?” Moondancer and I whittled down the entire catalog into books that would contain any information we were looking for, but even then, a third of that list was all I had accomplished by lunchtime. She corralled me into the faculty lounge, a room partitioned by jutting stone walls and stacked boxes. Within them were all kinds of scholarly supplies, most of which were bought at the school’s founding. There were also small desk spaces and mail cubbees, right next to an overworked coffee maker. Lastly, there was the faculty dining space. “Still no dice?” Headmare Starlight took a small bite out of her sandwich, focused entirely on me as once again I was surrounded by my superiors. This time, it was at a small wooden table shoved against the corner. I didn’t have an escape from the Ponyville twenty questions. I swallowed hard, heaving my chest forward to give those flower petals some extra help going past the lump in my throat. “Nope. Not even a reference in any of the studies we checked out, some of which had to do with really intricate details of magical theory.” She chuckled politely. “It’s been a while since I’ve delved into those works. It’s hard to get approval from a review board when you can barely ever travel to it. How about you, Sunburst?” “It really has been busy at the school, but even when I do get time to read nowadays, I don’t get quite into deep theory unless there’s a stunning development.” He played with his beard while tracking the chiseled flow of the pillars along the walls. “Right,” said Moondancer. “Out of all the ponies here, I’m probably the one who has read the most in this realm recently. I want to be thorough, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up, at least not until we get to the library within the castle.” “Why are there two separate libraries, anyways? They’re both in the same location, practically speaking.” To these ponies, I was a comedian. Sunburst had to rub his glasses on his cloak before replying. “We get this question so often, especially from the students. References to things that would be useful for students go in here, according to different curricula, as well as some encyclopedias. Mostly everything else, from fiction to high level mathematics, are housed in the other library.” “It seems like we are doing a good job of that,” chimed in Moondancer in between sips of her water glass. “Even today, the boarding students were using the library.” I nodded. “I’m impressed at how motivated the students are, honestly. It feels like I’m one of the only ponies at the School of Magic that ever visits Canterlot library.” Starlight cleared her throat. “Well,” she sighed with ceiling-bound eyes, “while I would like to think that it’s because of their own motivation, they have some external factors forcing them into the library this weekend.” “Sunset doesn’t like us talking about it, but have you heard about the cutiemap debacle?” Sunburst questioned quietly. “Bits and pieces of the story have come by me.” They were all looking in different directions, and the sunlight coming in reflected easily off their eyes. “Was it really that bad?” A white hoof comforted Starlight with some gentle back rubs, and from that hoof came an explanation. “Some of the faculty, our friends, were called by the map that day. The Smokey Mountains are not far by hot air balloon. Sometimes, map trips take an extended amount of time, a couple of days even.” Moondancer hesitated, counting under her breath. “It’s been ten days.” “So, we’re short on staff.” Starlight built herself back up with one deep breath. “Ocellus as well went on one of her outreach endeavors concerning the hive, so the students have essentially been learning material from the books this past week or so. Some of the retired faculty have filled in as best they could, but multiple classes have had a jarring experience.” Sunburst gave a short glance across the table to Moondancer. “That debacle also spawned some unrest in the town, causing a fight to almost break out. Most of the students don’t realize what’s happening, but those that do will also stir up trouble. It’s been the same in other regions, with some politicians praising the violence. Sunset has really been feeling the weight of it. We all have.” Creaks squealed out from the wooden chairs underneath us, only audible because no one spoke for a minute. “You’re Twilight’s personal student, so you see her somewhat often, right?” Starlight asked. I affirmed it, not ready for the followup. “Is she doing okay?” The hug she gave me flashed through my mind the instant Starlight let go of that question. She was always caring through her words and actions, we rarely ever hugged. I didn’t need to say anything, however, for them to receive a response. “Yeah, I figured she’s got a lot more on her plate now.” Starlight zipped up her lunchbox and shoved it onto the floor. “When I was her student, she wasn’t handling nearly as much, so I can’t imagine what her mentorship is like now that she’s the Princess.” “You were her student?” Suddenly, the tall plants near the window were much less interesting. As the others finished up their lunches, the Headmare shared her journey with me. “Not long after Twilight became a royal, she wandered into my life and shook my faulty foundation. Although I had done much evil, especially towards her, she took me under her wings as a student. I learned what I could about friendship, saved Equestria a few times over, and before I could turn around, Twilight was off to Canterlot.” Her usual smile lost its vigor, just for a moment. Although she shared so many similarities to Princess Twilight, Starlight Glimmer wore a dress to keep a frivolous school in Ponyville running. The Princess had mentioned that Starlight was once her superior in terms of magical ability, even as an alicorn. Starlight lived in the shade of what her teacher created. “Are you happy with where you are now?” That wise confidence, a trademark of my lessons with Princess Twilight, overtook her face. “I wouldn’t be happier anywhere else.” We practiced this exchange.  “It’s an honor to meet you as well, Princess Flurry Heart.” “Likewise.” We practiced it once. It was a joke, a stand up routine even. The teals on the bookshelves began showing in Flurry’s cheeks, she was so pale. Even when running, I didn't sweat that much. That was the first time I had ever been nervous inside a library. Performance was neither of our strong suits, yet it was our selected option. Her parents ate it up. Princess Cadance was the first to speak outside of formalities. “Twilight has told me over and over how much she enjoys mentoring you. You’re quite the star pupil.” She unfurled her wing over her daughter and husband, creating a fortress around the family. “I’m surprised we haven’t met yet, but you must be busy as Twilight’s student.” Shining Armor tried not to laugh. “Anyone close to Twilight has an increased papercut hazard. I’m sure you’re up to the task, though, since it’s been so long without you quitting. I wouldn’t expect Twilight to bring in anypony else. You do remind me of her.” “You aren’t the first pony who has said that today,” I remarked, looking over to Moondancer who was seated in a tall chair with maroon matching the color of the carpet. She smirked and went back to the book on the table. “I’m flattered, really. It’s tough to keep up, but I don’t mind the long nights.” Flurry sat down and quietly waited between her parents, not making much eye contact with me, even at my invitation. The stoicism landed flat on her snout. “How is the school?” continued Princess Cadance. “We had thought about letting Flurry Heart attend to aid her in her spells, but I want to hear about it from a pony on the inside.” I put a quick hoof to my chin, not to buy time to think, but instead I pruned some of the select words I would use to describe that institution. “While there are a few changes I would make to the curricula, the school itself functions just fine. I’m fed well, the teachers are helpful, and the atmosphere of the school is focused on learning, not grades.” The adults exchanged a few smiling glances. Flurry, however, grew more rigid in her expression. She peered at me through those longing, opal eyes. “However,” I interjected, “the education itself was not challenging me. It was only when Princess Twilight pushed me did I truly grow in my magical capabilities. The school was the foundation of principles, but the experience of using the spells and doing research brought it all together.” Somewhere, I took a wrong step. Shining asked, “If that’s the case, then maybe you could help out Flurry Heart?” I saw the young mare freeze. Flurry held her mouth open in hopes of gaining oxygen. That forehead donned a couple wrinkles, and those legs bent into preparation. I could feel the rising heartbeat escalating her thoughts, and she shut off access to her eyes so she could preserve some of her self-esteem. “What was the spell you were working on?” Princess Cadance's parental eyes finally recognized her daughter’s feelings. “Why don’t we leave you two to talk about that before dinner? It’ll give us a good chance to catch up with Moondancer and Sunburst.” Reanimated, but not without some lingering emotion, Flurry turned to her mother. “Sounds good, but I do want to catch up with them as well, maybe after dinner.” A couple swings of green glass later, Flurry rested her head in the frog of her hoof. The slight bags under her eyes were bluish, and her eyes themselves were bloodshot at the edges. “You’re dehydrated, and in desperate need of some alone time.” I walked over to my saddlebags by the door, and I sifted through the potential references from the school’s library in hopes of finding a remedy to one of those issues. She replied to my commentary how any drained pony would. “And the sky is blue, but there’s nothing I can change about that either.” I chucked the plastic water bottle behind me, and Flurry never saw it coming. “Thanks.” Half a meter away from me, I caught a light, wide book. Without looking. “Oh, come onnn,” she groaned, upset that she had not mastered the art of a magical food fight. “Is the spell in here?” Closing my saddlebags, I turned to the mare who had already emptied the entire bottle. She coughed a bit and held her chest as she met me at the wooden table at the side of the cavernous library. “Fifth page.” This unnamed notebook contained some hefty scribbling, stick figures, and only a couple of spells. Some sketches on the designated page depicted the reappearance of King Sombra and the Crystal Empire, all tied up with a phrase at the bottom right corner. Whoever this belonged to would have benefited from some elementary level hornwriting techniques, but the eloquence of the notes suggested that it was a certain pony who was there on that day, casting a spell of her own. “Amore meo hoc populum munio.” The particulars were intriguing, everything down to the word order was incredibly intentional. In history classes, they recalled the force of the barrier and its ability to repel Sombra’s fear. Seeing the spell itself made it clear that this magic was designed to focus a powerful emotion through a small scope in order to increase its effect radius and strength. It was fascinating. “This is a deeply complex spell, Flurry.” “Starlight, my parents, Twilight — they all tell me that I need to master this spell. It’s a requirement, part of my royal duty. For years, I’ve only struggled with it, and although I can read all this ancient language stuff, I can’t say that I understand it all.”  The School of Magic teaches only how to use spells through focusing, even though some casters are more attuned to an intuitive approach. Flurry Heart was in the latter category. Most of these users do need to have some basis in the study, rather than working purely artistically. “Have you ever learned the working theory of magic?” Her deadpan maintained the dead air for an uncomfortable time. “What do you mean?” “Lucky for you,” I paraded with a glowing horn, “I’ve given a presentation on this exact topic. If you really want to stop bashing your head against a wall when learning newer spells, pay close attention.” A neon, flowing diagram of a unicorn silhouette appeared in a cloud of magic over the table, and the room grew bright from its glow bouncing off the reflective branches that encased it. “So, although some ancient ponies proposed that magic was innate, the discovery that magic is an ambient resource that is all around us came from innovations in instrumentation. Through some unification of several theories from the past century, the current model describes four necessary components for all magic.” The pony in the diagram flickered between red and white. “There is always a tie to physical matter, and the general term used for the physical conduit of magic is the ‘corpus’. In most cases, it is an organic or carbon-based material, which is why crystals have been fantastic magical objects.” Swirls of speckled lines began flowing through the body of the unicorn and out through the horn. I took a look at my audience, and there were no signs of misunderstanding. “Magic, as we usually think of it, is referred to as ‘animus’. These are the spells we cast, the emotions we feel, and the bonds between ponies all wrapped up into one broad umbrella. As an intuitive caster, you know that your visceral emotions empower you to cast spells, right?” She was still focused on the diagram, so I gave her cheek a quick poke. “Wha-? Yeah, right, my spells come from my heart.” “Exactly.” The diagram began showing shimmering particles around the unicorn, but it wasn’t my doing. The glass door swung closed. “Then, of course, there’s the ambient magic all around us.” Sunset Shimmer’s red aura gave life to the simple line art, drawing in eyes and filling in the background with a rushing river and trees. “These are ‘momenta’, a formless, stateless ether which ponies draw on to power our spells. If the ‘animus’ is the output, then ‘momenta’ are the input.” Sunset, out of her formal attire in favor of a pair of saddlebags, sat across the table. Her eyes were restless, enthralled with the magic in front of her. “There’s a certain unicorn mage who was fascinated with momenta, but I’ll let you finish your discussion first.” Her horn powered down. “Don’t let me forget to ask you, mayor.” She nodded, quiet as a lamb now. “Lastly, there’s the least known aspect. Something must process the inputs and give form to the spells. This is referred to as the ‘anima’, the muscle of magic. This is what separates powerful wizards from the weaker, what distinguishes the pony races in their magical abilities. There’s a biological area in the brain right here —” a thick arrow pointed through the chin of the unicorn “— which has been linked to this phenomenon. When Tirek went about stealing ponies’ ‘magic’, he was actually stealing this component, thus increasing his magical capabilities.” As the cloud faded away and my horn quieted, the room grew colored with the hues of sunset. Flurry rubbed her hooves against her eyes because the tiredness had only increased during that lesson. “So, how will this help me with my mother’s spell?” “Well…” I wandered off, gazing over towards the now quiet pony. “You’re here to let us know that dinner is ready, right?” She chuckled, shaking her head. “Nothing gets past you, huh. They said no rush, to let you all finish up first. Like I said earlier, though, that isn’t the only reason I’m here.” Flurry had put her head down between her hooves on the table, turned away from the two of us and the notebook. If she wasn’t adjusting her weight so much, I would say she was asleep. “I think we can continue working on this spell after dinner, if that’s alright with you, Princess.” She spun her head around to gaze up at me, just to nod once, the tired soul. After years of frustration, a couple hours was not a long wait. I turned to Sunset, who had put her saddlebags on the table now. “So, who is the unicorn you’re talking about, mayor?” Out of the cyan sack came a photo which slid towards me with ease. There was Sunset, just as vivacious but with a bit more spunk, alongside a few other unicorns in front of Fleety’s house (before he lived there, of course). She pointed to the one next to herself, at the edge of the group. Her icy blue coat sharpened her lean form, and her foggy gray mane carried two white streaks that spiraled along its shoulder length. “This is Comet Tail, my old classmate.” My goal was right in front of me. “I thought Moondancer was the one who was supposed to help us find her. Where is she now?” “Slow down, tiger, this picture was taken a long time ago, and a lot has happened since.” I looked at my hooves which were now on the table. The image of me pouncing was not far fetched. I slid down slowly back to the floor. Flurry, still holding back yawns, knew about Sunset’s history. “That was before you went to the human world. Have you ever reconnected with her?” Sunset took the picture back to her own hooves. “We weren’t too close, and I never got to know her before I, well, took off.” She shoved away the piece of mane which had fallen over her face, holding it back behind her shoulder. “The weird thing is that up until Moondancer said that name just a few minutes ago, I hadn’t heard of her since then. Nopony seems to know where she is, only that she had taken residence in Golden Oak Library when she graduated from Celestia’s school. “What I do know, though, is that she was obsessed with momenta and the working model. Celestia entrusted her to work on it, to oversee that the inner workings of magic were fully explored and understood, for the safety of ponies everywhere. The more they knew, the more they could predict the future and prevent disaster.” She chuckled. “I guess it didn’t really work too well, though, considering the crazy things that happened to Twilight and her friends.” My gut sloshed and spun until it required my hoof to calm it down. A pony, committed to the same ideas that Flurry and I were, had not only disappeared off the face of Equestria, but hadn’t even succeeded in her goals. Was that my fate? The form of Comet Tail floated back onto the table, solemn and determined. The last remaining trace of a researcher was here, forgotten to time. Lost. Unimportant. Sunset got up and asked us to get some food. Something was said about me being sick, but I just dismissed it and told them I only needed a minute to think. The swirling cerulean sea within Comet’s eyes sucked me into her hopelessness. Air was something I barely considered needing under all that ocean. Fatigue came over me like a wave, crashing into my head and rippling out to my eyes and ears. All those years of studying, all the helpful hooves at my side, all these late nights could have been forgotten as well. Purpose escaped me, diffusing into the salty waters. I joined Flurry Heart on the table. I saw her, and she saw me. We were just two young mares trying to swim through our world, looking for stable ground. The chances of drowning in it all increased with the passing days, and the skies would close around the sun whenever it tried to shine. We could swim and swim and swim until the water simply eroded us away with unavoidable time. The young Princess, lifeless against the glossy wood, echoed what she said once before. “And the sky is blue, there’s nothing I can change about that either.” Yet within her words, in her helpless state, I realized that I could never let myself get so low.  “I can’t just give up on what I’ve worked so hard for, not with one blow.”  I put my hoof on hers. “And for once in my life, I’m not letting another pony give up, either.” She scoffed, and I would have too in her position. “I don’t care if this is naive ambition talking, but we can do this. You’ll figure out this spell, and I’ll figure out this research, as long as we keep going. We have to just keep going, because hard work is the only way to realize our dreams. It’s what got me here.”  I smiled, finally realizing that this situation was far from negative. “Let’s go get some food, Flurry.” Soon, Flurry Heart was back on her hooves. My energy started to rub off, she was cracking jokes again and almost nailed me with her empty bottle. We closed up everything and made our way to the dining hall, but my heart had been jazzed up during that speech, and I couldn’t stop its flow. Even with the tides of time ebbing away at my being, I was prepared to sift through every single book. No magic could hide from me, and since Comet Tail hadn’t come up in any obituaries, she was somewhere, and so was her work. Although it was an exhausting, thankless task, I loved every minute of searching through those tomes with Moondancer. Tomorrow, ten years from now, and on the day I passed on from this world, I needed the research of Equestrian scholars in my hooves. I was content with being a unicorn, because otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to research magic. It’s where I had always been aiming for, and it’s where I had always belonged, no matter what this world had in store for me.