//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Mare Ruins The Misty Saga And Becomes Dirty Dan // Story: The Malevolent Multiversal Misadventures of Mare (April Fools 2024 Special) // by Admiral Producer //------------------------------// Meanwhile, in the Misty Saga Universe… Misty shot up in bed with a loud scream, sweat on every inch of her face. She could feel herself hyperventilating and her heart palpitating with each beat as the memory she had been trying to forget continued to play out in her mind, despite the fact that she had just woken up. She wanted to forget that night, but she never could. The night that Opaline found her as a filly still haunted her every being. That had been the moment her life changed forever and not in a good way. She had been forced to be a slave for years, and she could never leave as she had been indebted to the alicorn over a promise that was never meant to be. The only reason she stayed in the first place was so she could earn the one thing that she thought would make her feel better about herself. A cutie mark. The very symbol that determined a pony’s special talent had been something she had sought after for years without end, and she had done countless missions and laborious tasks in an attempt to earn it. She had always gone above and beyond the call of duty and she never gave up on her one true dream no matter how hard life got for her. No matter what Opaline had entrusted her to do, she always did as she was told in spite of the numerous conflicts she had. No matter how nice her friends treated her, she always strived to get the job done. Alas, it had been all for nought. She had been lied to for her entire life by the pony she trusted and she would never be the same as a result. She still blamed herself for being fooled the way she was. It didn’t matter that she had been far too young to understand the concepts of manipulation, perpetual servitude, or anything of the sort. She believed that she should’ve known better than to commit all these crimes for something that she wasn’t even guaranteed to get. After all, it was because of her that Maretime Bay was now doomed beyond repair, destined to become nothing more than another tiny town under the rulership of the Fire Alicorn she once served. It was because of her that the magic was gone and the ponies hated each other once more. She had turned a blind eye when the pony suffering the most needed her. What kind of pony was she? As these negative thoughts overflowed like a massive tsunami through her mind, she stared at her flank and sighed deeply. By now, she knew that she was never going to get a cutie mark. And truth be told, she didn’t want one anymore. She didn’t feel like she deserved anything in life after what she had done. She felt like a terrible friend. She felt like she didn’t deserve to be happy after all the trouble she caused. Because of her, Sparky was with Opaline and he was most likely far beyond help at this point. Either he was already dead, or he was going to be soon. She knew that the alicorn would not spare him nor show him any mercy. He had what she wanted, and he was too helpless to defend himself with him being a baby dragon. Of course, she knew deep down that it wasn’t her fault that all of this happened. It was all because of Opaline and her evil schemes that Equestria was now even more divided than it had ever been, not her. Yet…why did it feel like it was her fault? Beyond the fact that she was used to blaming and putting herself down due to experience and low self-esteem, whenever she reflected on that moment, she felt like she was to blame. She couldn’t put the Crystals back together when they shattered. She couldn’t save two of her friends from that mob attack. She couldn’t do anything right and she didn’t get it in the slightest. But one thing was undeniably clear to her and it was something that she would never shake no matter how many times she thought about it. She had failed her friends. You will never be forgiven. Your disgrace is worse than death. You deserve to suffer a horrible fate for what you’ve done. She sniffled and she felt the sudden rush of tears come to her eyes. With not a second to waste, she wiped them away with her hooves as fast as she could. It didn’t matter that she was alone. Crying was for cowards. She couldn’t be vulnerable. The voice in her head was certainly harsh, but it was right. She didn’t deserve to live. After a deep and shaky breath, she slowly got down from the bed and began walking out of the bedroom. She didn’t know where she was going and a part of her told her that simply running away would be the best option for her. Nonetheless, she continued on. The others seemed to be fast asleep in their beds and none of them woke up at the sound of her hoofsteps. She couldn’t bare to look at them. It was too painful. Despite the fact that she knew they weren’t even looking at her and were most likely lost in their own worlds, she still felt the weight of their hypothetical scorn and judgement bearing down on her. Each step she took out of the room was like balancing on knives and needles, each stab more painful than the last. She kept her head forward and headed outside and down the ramp. Once she was downstairs, she breathed a sigh of relief. Now was her chance to leave. She would go back to Opaline and slaughter her in cold blood. She would end the nightmare herself, and rid the world of the alicorn’s dark presence once and for all. She had failed last time when she had gotten her friends involved, but she had faith that she would succeed on her own this time. She couldn’t live with the guilt on her consciousness, and she was finally going to do something about it once and for all. After that, she figured that she would strike out on her own and attempt to live the rest of her life as a lone traveler in the wilderness. She knew that wasn’t a sustainable life, but she didn’t know where else to go. As she put on her purple cloak and prepared to walk out the doors of the Crystal Brighthouse, Misty began to hear talking coming from outside. She distinctly knew it was Izzy’s from the sound of one of the mares’ voices and she hesitated for a moment. How would Izzy, her sister of all ponies, react if she knew that she was leaving? The thought terrified her, but she knew that being indecisive was worse and could lead to her getting in trouble anyway regardless if she wanted to or not. With a deep breath, she opened the doors and peeked her head out, only to see Izzy talking with a bland looking earth pony. They were in a bit of an argument and the strange mare was getting frustrated, but Izzy maintained a calm demeanor throughout. “Nuh uh!” Izzy insisted. “If you want to get into the Brighthouse, you need to answer the secret password correctly! Your past 100 attempts have been incorrect.” “Incorrect?!” The mare shouted indignantly. “You told me the answer was 7!” “It has changed again,” Izzy replied confidently. “Now you’re gonna to do this my way, or else you’re not getting in. Zipp’s actually taught me quite a lot about managing strangers.” “You think you can manage me?!” The mare demanded, punching Izzy to the ground with the full might of her Mary Sue-ness. “I am the main character and you’re going to let me in or else!” Izzy recovered from her fall like it was nothing. “You’re gonna have to try a lot harder than that, silly.” “Oh yeah?!” Mare answered angrily. “I’ll have you know, my mother trained me in Martial Arts. You’re going down!” She charged and the unicorn was down in an instant. “All right, Pinhead! Your time is up!” “Hey, who are you calling Pinhead?!” Izzy demanded, getting to her hooves again and pouting. “I wanna be Dirty Dan!” “What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?!” Mare shot back in a challenging manner. “‘Cuz I’m Dirty Dan!” Izzy replied, smacking Mare upside the head with a baseball bat. The earth pony quickly recovered and produced a mallet in her hooves. All the while, Misty watched this whole exchange with a concerned expression on her face. “Well I say I’m Dirty Dan!” Mare yelled, landing a hit on Izzy’s head with the mallet. She smiled triumphantly before she was promptly wacked again by the baseball bat. This process repeated multiple times. “I’m Dirty Dan!” “I’m Dirty Dan!” “I’m Dirty Dan!!” “I’m Dirty Dan!” “I’m Dirty Dan!” “I’M DIRTY DAN!!” “I’M DIRTY DAN!!!!” Meanwhile, the constant ruckus from both ponies shook the entirety of Maretime Bay and reached the Sheriff’s Station, where Hitch was sleeping. As the ground constantly shook with each whack, the disillusioned former sheriff began to stir in the makeshift bed he had made for himself. Finally, his eyes shot open. Back near the entrance, Mare and Izzy were still fighting over who was the real Dirty Dan. Neither of them were getting any victories against the other, but the playful fight was abruptly cut short when Mare looked behind her and screamed. Izzy giggled. “Silly Mare. Screaming will get you no-“ She couldn’t finish as a familiar tan hoof suddenly grabbed her horn and ripped it right out of its socket. Standing behind her and holding the severed, bloody horn was none other than Hitch Trailblazer himself with the angriest expression on his face. It was at moment both ponies knew they were screwed big time. “WHICH ONE OF YOU FELLARS IS THE REAL DIRTY DAN?!!” Hitch demanded, his voice sounding like a beast with how low and growly it was. He wasn’t messing around and they knew it too well. One wrong move and they were toast. But Izzy just couldn’t help herself. “Um…I am?” Izzy answered with an adorable smile. At that, she was promptly sent hurling into the horizon with a flick of a hoof, where she disappeared into the night sky. There was a massive explosion in the far distance, which shook the whole town, and then nothing. Mare stood there, staring at horror at what she had just witnessed. She had to get out of here now. Whoever this stallion was, he was utterly unhinged and had just murdered that poor unicorn. And she was next. She knew this was a bad idea. But she couldn’t just turn back now. The fate of her fellow ponies depended on her. That was when Hitch turned his attention to her. “OKAY, PINHEAD LARRY!!!! NOW YOU GET YOURS!!!!!” Seeing no way out of her situation, Mare screamed at the top of her lungs and took off in the other direction as fast as she could. She didn’t know where she was going. All she knew was that she had to get away from this stupid place now. “PIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNHEEEEEEEEAAAAAD!!!!!!” Hitch roared. He was after her in an instant, hungry for her blood. He didn’t care how tired he was. He was going to get them no matter the cost. He had no other goals other than vengeance. He was a carnivorous predator in the wild, only knowing how to hunt and catch. All while she was running, Mare cursed herself for agreeing to Edge’s request. This was a horrible idea. Why had she agreed to get herself killed for this?! This wasn’t worth it. She hyperventilated as her hooves accelerated, trying to carry her as fast as it was able to. Tears of desperation filled her eyes as she sprinted through the open town square. Hitch pursued her down the streets, knocking over abandoned grocery carts and stop signs in the process. He ran after her and saw the terrified mare disappear into a hardware store that was closed for the night. With little effort, he burst through the automatic doors, shards of glass falling in every single direction. Seeing him right behind her, Mare shrieked and disappeared behind an aisle of smartphones and chargers. He followed her, picking up the pace so as to not lose her. In his mad pursuit, he inadvertently bumped into the shelves to his left, sending it falling towards the ground. Boxes flew all over the place and some cords that had been opened fell out and landed on the floor. Fortunately for him, he ran out of the way just as it collapsed, narrowly avoiding it. Some of the chargers caught fire and began to smolder from the electricity. He was after her again in an instant, trailing close behind her as she burst out of the exit. He broke through the glass again just as the interior of the store exploded and lunged straight for her. She ducked and move off to the side, resulting in him in landing headfirst on the hard concrete. He groaned, wiping the fallen leaves and sticks out of his eyes. By the time he got up again, she was gone again. After checking behind her and confirming that the mad stallion wasn’t behind her, she grabbed her cellphone and hurriedly texted Prince Edgelord, trying her best to get him to send her back to the lair. “Edge!! Mission abort! Mission abort!!” Mare screamed desperately. “HELP!!! EDGE!!!!” She took a couple of panicked breaths to calm herself just as Hitch emerged from another alleyway and headed straight for her. Meanwhile back at the lair, Prince Edgelord was sitting on his favorite couch and watching the television screen. He loved watching past broadcasts of the Equestria Games and was witnessing the last annual game before the extinction event when the screen suddenly switched to the news out of nowhere. He glanced at it in confusion as he didn’t remember changing the channel. Perhaps he just did and didn’t remember, but he could have sworn that he didn’t touch the remote. “And now it’s back to some K.R.U.D,” the news anchor pony announced with a smile. “With all your favorite-“ That was when the screen glitched and Mare’s voice came through instead. “EDGE!!!! ABORT THE MISSION!!!! ABORT THE MISSION-hits.” The footage then cut to Mare being brutally mauled limb by limb on the corner of an alleyway by Hitch. He was tearing into her flesh, all while she shrieked and screamed for help as loud as she could. Blood squirted out ended up on the filming camera as the stallion roared like an animal and gouged out her eyes using his hooves next. Edgelord grabbed a bag of popcorn sitting on the table and contently ate them as the slaughtering of his new servant commenced. He couldn’t care less about her right now. For him, this was comedy gold and he was enjoying every single minute of it. “This is fine.” he mused to himself.