//------------------------------//
// Chapter Two: The Other Hoof 
// Story: A Tail of Two Ponies 
// by Lilyheart 
//------------------------------//

🥜
I couldn’t feel my hands. My head was too close to the ground. I want to move my hands. Nothing feels right about this body. I feel confined. I don’t know how Andrew could be so happy.
I look over his… (her?) silly smile. It repulsed me. I hated making these characters. I only created them to make Andrew happy. And now I’m stuck with it.
“Whoa. Um… M-m-m-Robin, I don’t suppose you see that?” Andrew with his leg (her hooves?).
But there was a thing in the sky. I don’t like seeing things in the sky. Birds are okay. So are planes. And clouds or stars. Those things are supposed to belong in the sky. I don’t like things that aren’t supposed to be in the sky. And that definitely isn’t supposed to be in the sky. Horses don’t belong in the sky.
It was a small black stick figure that quickly grew larger, until I made out blurry features. Stupid eyes. Yep. It was a horse. With wings. Grey, with splashes of yellow and brown. Oh no. Don’t tell me…
The figure wasn’t coming towards us, but was merely passing by. It looked to us, and a single limb shook back and forth. No. I don’t like this.
Andrew waved back. Ew. Broken legs. Horse legs are not supposed to bend like that. Lilyheart then quickly swung around on her belly (his belly?). “Pegasus!” she (he?) cheered with a goofy grin. It was hard to think of Andrew as a boy when he did something as girly as that with that voice. But Andrew is a boy. Yet the figure in front of me was clearly a mare. I made the figure! I knew the features. The rounded snout, the mascara eyelashes, the shorter horn, the two sparkles per eye… I could trace her figure completely with my eyes, each line and curve, which I had drawn with my hands.
Vision didn’t make sense. The contour lines were too thick. But I drew Lilyheart that way because that’s how the show did it. It made sense in a cartoon. But nothing makes sense here. I wasn’t happy.
“Robinwind?” asked Andrew.
“Nothing. I’m just happy for you,” I said.
And there… her grin returned, even bigger than before. A third sparkle even appeared in her eyes. I couldn’t fix everything for him–her, but at least I could make her smile. But I also had to make sure to not lose him. “You realize we have to go home though, right?” I cocked my head to the side, and one of my ears titled involuntarily. Dang it.
“Well… yes. But it might take a while. Weeks, even,” she said with her head leaning on her hoof. Ew. Ew. Broken leg. Nausea in my stomach. Nausea was supposed to be in that part of my stomach, not that part. And knowing that made it worse.
“Please stop,” I said in a panic. “Please, bend your leg back!”
“Oh–okay,” came that cute voice. I looked back up and she was sitting like a dog again.
“I’ll be fine,” I mumbled. I lifted up my arm to cover my mouth. I just about slugged my chin instead. Dang it! I swallowed and gently placed my… hoof on my mouth. Uuggggghhhhh.
“Broken legs?” Andrew asked weakly, pawing at the ground. “It’s actually kind of cool. My legs are just kind of elastic. I won’t practice right now, of course. I wonder if we can do the Pinkie Pie thing with our necks…”
If you’re saying this to distract me, you’re doing a terrible job.
“Oh,” Lilyheart suddenly exclaimed. She looked like she was going to move her legs back up again, but then suddenly put them back down. Her face shot up towards me with a big expectant gleam in her eyes. “I totally forgot! Am I a unicorn?”
“Yep,” I coughed.
“Yeeeeeheeeheee!” Lilyheart cheered and did a little dance, hopping back up and now again. “I’m a unicorn! I’m a unicorn! No way!” She started to lift her front legs but stopped again, before darting her eyes as far up as she could, evidently trying to look at her horn. She also managed to look like a complete doofus in the process. “Also, you’re an earth pony, by the way. Just like you drew Robinwind.”
“Great,” I said. “Of all the ponies I could be. I could have chosen to fly or to have magic. Instead I chose to be the most useless race.”
“Well, you’re probably really strong!” It was her turn to cock her head. “I figure there’s basically two types of earth ponies: strong ones like AJ and… fun ones like Pinkie Pie. You’re more the type to be like AJ, though, so I bet you basically have super strength.”
“That’s still worthless compared to the other options.” I finally placed my hoof back on the ground. Wait, did I also–
“Well… yeah, I guess that’s true,” answered Lilyheart with a shrug. “Still… some-p-p-pony has to be the muscle, right?”
“What’s the point if you can just use magic to lift anything you want? Twilight could take care of, like the whole apple orchard in a day!” My ears! Stop twitching!
“But there’s always something that magic can’t take care of. I figure it’s like DnD. Even if you can lift something telepathically, you still have to make a strength roll for it.” Always an opinion and answer for everything.
“Like the Force?” I asked.
“Yeah!”
“That’s still lame compared to magic or flying.”
“Well, that’s true.”
“I think it would be a wisdom check, by the way. Or maybe knowledge. But I don’t know, and I can’t check, because I’m stuck in a stupid cartoon!” I exclaimed.
The cartoon horse in front of me blinked, and her smile wavered. Her ears drooped ever so slightly.
“I’m sorry. That was mean.”
“What?” she asked. “You did nothing wrong!”
“But you’re happy, and I don’t want to spoil that.”
“But you’re not happy. I know this isn’t as exciting for you as it is for me. You have to express your emotions, too,” the cartoon horse pressed. Andrew pressed.
“I’m fine. Really. Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I want you to be happy.”
Lilyheart seemed to consider this for a moment, her ears fidgeting. “Okay.”
I need to calm down. Just like she said. It was becoming way too easy to think of Andrew as a she. But if I want him to be happy… maybe I should just pretend that this is a big adventure. Afterall, it’s not like I didn’t like My Little Pony, too. I enjoyed it, even if not as much as Andrew.
“So, off to Ponyville?” I asked.
“What makes you think Ponyville is nearby?”
“This looks like the area around Ponyville. Plus, why else would Derpy be here?” I resisted the urge to sigh when I said Derpy.
“Wait, you saw Derpy?!”
Involuntarily I gave out something that was between cough and a laugh. And a whinny. Ugh. “Duh! You waved at her!”
“Oh. I didn’t know that was Derpy. It could have been any grey pegasus.”
I face hoofed. Wait, I did what!? “She’s not the only derp, here.” Oh, shoot, that was mean! I should not have said that!
But Lilyheart only burst into a giggle. I never could understand Andrew. Sometimes, I had to walk on eggshells with him. Okay, most of the time. But then I say something that’s actually rude, and she laughs? He? Ugh. Now Lilyheart was gazing past me, an odd dreamy expression on her face.
“Well,” she said. “I suppose we head the direction Derpy did? Or rather, Suspected Derpy.”
“There is no suspicion! It was Derpy!” I hoofed the ground. Have I mentioned I hate this body?
Lilyheart only giggled again, and pointed her hoof. “Well, after you, my good sir!”