~~The day after~~
The Ponyville sun hung high in the sky, casting its usual warm glow over the bustling town. It was just past noon, another ordinary day for the ponies going about their business. Applejack walked down the dirt path that linked to the busy stalls, pulling along her trolley full of apples in tow. However, a prickling sensation of unease started to crawl up her neck. Every pony she passed seemed fixated on her, blushes heavy on their cheeks, their eyes glued to a particular object clutched in their hooves: a magazine.
Odd, but she paid them no mind. Setting up her stall, a sharp ache pierced her back. Rubbing it gently, she tried to push away the memory of yesterday's events. All that posing she did for hours on end had done a number on her muscles. Finishing setting up, she took a seat behind the open cart and waited for her first customer of the day.
Hours ticked by, filled with the usual hustle and bustle of the market. Yet, no one had bought her apples. That changed when a little filly came running up to her stall, her eyes hungry for her crisp apples. Applejack's excitement matched the filly, but just when she was about to reach her stall, a mare, presumably her mother, pulled her back and away from Applejack. Giving her the most disgusting side eye she'd seen in a while before leaving the vicinity.
"Okay, that's it!" Applejack slammed her hoof onto the tabletop, the sudden noise causing a startled yelp from a nearby pony browsing vegetables. Her frustration bubbled over. "What's with everypony avoidin' me!?"
Across the way, Pinkie Pie skipped along, her usual infectious cheer radiating around her. Unlike the others, Pinkie seemed completely oblivious to the strange atmosphere surrounding Applejack.
"Pinkie!" Applejack called out, catching her attention. "Come over here for a sec!"
Sure thing, Applejack!" she chirped, hopping over with the grace of a bouncing ball. She skidded to a halt just shy of landing on the tempting display of apples.
"Pinkie," Applejack began, her voice laced with a growing unease, "do you know why everypony's been givin' me such strange looks today? And why ain't nobody buyin' my apples?"
Pinkie tilted her head, her brow furrowing in what could almost be considered a concentrated look. Her eyes darted around the marketplace, taking in the hushed whispers and averted gazes directed at Applejack. Then, a gasp escaped her lips, her eyes widening comically.
"Oh my! Don't you know, Applejack?" she squealed. "You're famous!" Pulling out the same magazine everyone had from her mane, she showed it to the barn mare and pointed to the cover. "See?"
Applejack's jaw hit the floor with a resounding thump. There, displayed prominently on the magazine cover, clutched in Pinkie Pie's hooves, was none other than herself in the same dress Rarity forced upon her the day before. She was posed in the seductive manner the director had asked of her, a hoof dragging up the dress just high enough to catch her cutie mark.
A single word splashed across the cover in bold, glittering letters that sent a wave of heat rushing up Applejack's neck: "Playmare!? R-Rarity said..." she yelled, stammering around the words catching in her throat. "That director." she finally managed, her voice shimmering.
Pinkie bounced on her hooves. "Oh, but Applejack, don't you see?" she chirped, her voice brimming with an unsettling enthusiasm. "This could be your big break! You're a model now! Imagine all the delicious treats you could buy with all that fancy money!"
Applejack grimaced. Fame and fortune held no appeal to her compared to the quiet satisfaction of a hard day's work on the farm and the familiar comfort of Ponyville. This "modeling" experience, forced upon her by Rarity's misguided revenge scheme, had been a nightmare.
"Modelin' ain't exactly my forte, Pinkie," she sighed, picking at a stray apple core on her stall. The usual hustle and bustle of the market suddenly felt oppressive and suffocating. "Besides, who in Equestria would even want to see me in a magazine like that?"
Pinkie's smile faltered momentarily, a flicker of understanding crossing her eyes. "Well," she began hesitantly, glancing around nervously, "everypony seems to be buying them up like crazy..."
Applejack's face reddened even further, a shade that rivalled the reddest apple on her stall. With a groan of mortification, she buried her face in the display of apples, hoping to shield herself from the judging eyes she imagined were all around her.
Muffled through the crisp fruit, Pinkie caught a mumbled, "I'm never going to recover from this..." Right as Pinkie went to comfort her poor friend, a voice beat her to it.
"Applejack, is that you?" A stallion asked, walking up to her.
Lifting her head out the bunch of apples, she chirped, her mood spinning to a complete one-eighty. "Yes! Interested in some apples?"
"Uh, no thanks today, ma'am," the stallion stammered, his eyes darting nervously between Applejack and the magazine he awkwardly held. "Actually, uh..." He cleared his throat, then blurted, "Can you sign this for me? I'm a huge fan!"
"Uh....?" Was all Applejack got out before another pony came in to join the nervous stallion.
"Oh my goodness! Is that the Applejack from Playmare?" The mare pointed at Applejack. "Can I get your signature!?"
"Huh? Um, Sorry I-"
Another pony pulled up from the corner, cutting off what she was going to say. "DID SOMEPONY MENTIONED APPLEJACK!?"
"Oh no," Applejack groaned, her face turning the same shade of red as her signature apples. She instinctively backed away, bumping against a nearby stall, sending a clatter of vegetables cascading down.
The crowd, however, had grown considerably. What started with a few curious ponies had morphed into a surging mass, their eyes fixated on Applejack and the magazine clutched in their hooves. Not wasting a moment, Applejack turned tail and galloped away, trying to get a headstart. As for the growing crowd of fans, they rallied together into a wave of stampeding ponies, giving chase to the rising erotic star. All the while, the distance cursing of "Rarity!" was mixed with the crowd's wants for a piece of signed merch of their Playmare magazine.
Pinkie giggled into her hoof before resuming her bounce away from Applejack's cart.
~~~~~~
Rainbow Dash watched the commotion unfold with a mix of amusement and something akin to pity, still unable to wash away the incident of yesterday's date with Zephyr. Speaking of, there he was, approaching Rainbow with Mayor Mare beside him.
"Cupcake!" Zephyr declared, his voice radiating an artificial cheer. "There you are! Just the mare I want to see~."
"Again with the nicknames, Zephyr?" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "What did you want now? Was making me pay for yesterday's date not enough for you?"
"Actually, that spectular date is precisely the reason why I'm here!" Zephyr paused, looking over to the Mayor. "After our lovely, romantic, and amazing date. I paid Rarity a visit, and told her all about our little fun time at the resturants. How we captured each other's hearts, our eyes never breaking contact, the music--"
"Okay okay!" Rainbow cuts him off, "Get to the point already! I don't have all day listening to you blabber on and on!"
Zephyr coughs into a hoof. "In her infinite wisdom, she explained the next step after a successful date."
Rainbow snorted. "Successful? Is that what she called it?"
Undeterred, Zephyr beamed and wrapped his arms around Rainbow in a suffocating hug. "Exactly! And according to Rarity, the next step is marriage and starting a family."
"WHAT!?"
"I know!" Zephyr snuggled into Rainbow's cheek. "I just as excited as you are!"
The world seemed to tilt on its axis as Rainbow froze. This had to be some kind of elaborate joke, a bizarre extension of Rarity's revenge prank. But the Mayor's flustered expression and Zephyr's oblivious enthusiasm told a different story.
The Mayor stammered something about a special marriage license and a ceremony "conveniently" scheduled for that afternoon. Stepping in between the two pegasus, Mayor Mare opened a book she had stashed away on her back. "Rainbow Dash," she squeaked, her voice barely audible over the pounding in Rainbow's ears, "do you take Zephyr Breeze to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Rainbow's mind whirred. Her mouth opened, a desperate "I don'—" forming on her lips. But was quickly interrupted by Zephyr's excited squealing.
"I'd knew you loved me, angel!" He cuts her off, pulling her in and connecting their lips together. The kiss was deep, awkwardly long, and awfully loud. The sound of wet smacks echoed through the marketplace, punctuated by the occasional strangled gasp from Rainbow as she tried, in vain, to breathe.
The onlookers, a mix of bewildered shoppers and curious vendors, stood frozen, unsure whether to cheer or gasp. The sound of wet moans between the two only served to make Mayor Mare, bless her flustered soul, even more red than she already is as she covered her mouth with the still-opened book.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few excruciating seconds, Zephyr pulled back with a loud "Mwuah!", his face flushed with exertion and misplaced pride.
"See, Mayor Mare?" he declared, completely oblivious to Rainbow's distress. "She totally loves me!"
Rainbow, momentarily freed from his suffocating embrace, sputtered, a strangled sound halfway between a cough and a scream.
"I—" Rainbow began, her voice hoarse from the lack of oxygen. But before she could even attempt to explain the massive misunderstanding, Mayor Mare stepped forward, desperate to try and salvage the situation.
"A-ah, ahem!" she cleared her throat, the sound echoing through the sudden silence. "By the power vested in me by Princess Celestia, I now pronounce you husband and wife!"
The crowd, still unsure of how to react, offered a smattering of nervous applause with quiet "Woo!"s and weak whistles. Rainbow stared at Zephyr, his dopey grin mirroring the sheer absurdity of the situation.
Married. To Zephyr Breeze. Legally married. The words echoed in her mind, a sickening thud accompanying each repetition. The world around her began to spin, probably because Rainbow's was actually spinning on the spot now. Her hooves desperately tried to keep her upright.
This couldn't be real. It had to be some cruel joke. But the smug look on Zephyr's face and the official document clutched in the Mayor's hooves told a different story. The daunting realisation of it all finally hit her.
She was now shackled to the biggest lovesick oaf in Equestria.
Unable to handle it anymore, she flicked her head back and fell onto her knees, yelling out an ear-piercing cry that shook Ponyville into a stupor.
"NOOO!!!"