//------------------------------//
// 14 - Playing Chicken 
// Story: Turn of Luck 
// by David Silver 
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Maya considered her newest client. They were small, had even smaller wings, and were smiling nervously. "No reason to be shy," she gently started. "This is a safe place, to share and be supported. Let's start with your name."

"Scootaloo," they squeaked out in a rush. "Ma'am. Um, hi."

"Hello, Scootaloo." Maya smiled gently. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Maya. May I ask why you're here today?"

"Well--" They fidgeted in place. "I heard you were a good pony to talk to, about stuff." She shuffled. "and things, you know?"

"I do know." Her hooves glowed green as she caused new flowers to bloom, spreading soothing scents in the room. "I'm listening entirely. What would you like to talk about?"

"I guess I should just come out and say it, huh?" They shrugged. "I think I like boys. I mean, I do like girls too. I like a lot of ponies!"

Maya inclined her head a little. "Does liking both make you nervous?"

"A little." Scootaloo rubbed one leg with the other. "Most just like one, or the other, right? It's just another way I'm an oddball."

Maya eased gently to her hooves and walked to Scootaloo. "You're not an oddball. Lots of ponies like both. It's not common, but it's also not unheard of." She reached out, placing a hoof on Scootaloo's shoulder. "Don't get me wrong. Most do like one, and are happy with that, but there's nothing wrong being open to either."

"Really?" Scootaloo glanced up. "I was so sure that I was just strange. I feel bad that I still like boys and girls."

"You don't have to feel bad." Maya sat back with a smile. "I like both too."

Scootaloo's eyes widened as if she had just beheld some mythical creature. "No way! A pretty mare like you? I doubt that."

Maya raised a brow. "Why do you think a pretty mare would, for sure, not like both? I think I do."

"Oh, uh." Scootaloo shuffled. "Well, I mean, I guess that's a good question."

"What is a good question?" Another pony poked her head through the door, but Maya recognized the voice.

Maya winced faintly. "Hello, Sweetie. I was just talking with your friend." She made a gentle shooing motion. "I love seeing you, but conversations I have in here are private. We'll gladly play with you later, alright?"

"I understand." Sweetie Belle turned for the door, but paused to look back. "May I come to see you when you're done? I have a question of my own."

"Absolutely." Maya wasn't sure when she became so famed among the foals, but she felt no need to argue it. "Where can I find you? I'll come when we're done."

Sweetie pointed the sweet. "I'll be at Sugarcube Corner. Thank you." She nodded at Scootaloo. "Have fun." And she scurried right off, door clicking behind her.

Maya went to properly lock the door. "Sorry about that. She's very excitable and very sweet."

Scootaloo shrugged. "She's always like that. I'm actually amazed she had a question too. What would she need to talk about?!"

Maya waved a hoof as she slid up into her seat. "You don't want her prying into your business. Let's leave hers alone too. Now, if you don't mind my asking, are there ponies you feel are—Do you feel attracted to any ponies right now?"

Scootaloo darkened swiftly. "Yeah, kinda, yeah. I, uh, don't know what I should do about it though."

"That's alright." Maya chuckled softly. "You're still young. You don't need to act on these feelings at all." She slid from her seat to go to a closet. "But you shouldn't hide from them. You think a pony's pretty, or handsome, or something else, and that's alright."

Scootaloo looked Maya up and down with a perking brow. "Uh huh. Is that what you do with your ponies? Think they're cute?"

Maya held the blush in as she came back with a small box in tow. "To be honest, yes. I do think most ponies are cute." She flicked her ears back, remembering her strange reactions around the deer. "But I know what it's like to feel that 'special' attraction." She set the box down on the floor in front of Scootaloo.

Scootaloo took the bait and opened it. "What are these for?" The collection of gems, shiny rocks, and other small trinkets within the box confused the little filly.

Maya dipped her hooves into the box, causing the trinkets to spill and tinkle about. "This is a delightful little present I am offering." She dug out a sheet of paper. "I want you to put pictures of ponies you're thinking about, and decorate those pictures with whatever rocks and things fit what you feel about them. Maybe the color, or the texture, or anything else. Let your heart decide, and don't judge yourself for it."

"What will this do?" Scootaloo cocked her head as she stared down at the box. "Are the colors special or something?"

Maya chuckled. "They mean what you decide they mean." She drew free a big red rock. "Maybe this is for fierce love." She waved it at Scootaloo. "Or maybe it just reminds you of their fur, or their eyes. Or maybe the color of some clothing they wear. What it means is up to you. It's for you. Do with it what you like."

"Oh, I get it." Scootaloo considered the box again, then grabbed for it. "So, if I say this is about the feeling I have, it's totally on the hush hush." She started picking through the contents of the box.

Maya set out a few sheets of paper. "Only you can know what they mean. If you like, bring them with you next time, and share, or don't, and keep it to yourself. It can be your secret, or ours. You decide."

"I don't think I could tell you right now, even if I wanted to. That's not easy." Scootaloo grabbed a paper and started scribbling with her pencil.

Maya trotted back to her seat, waiting to be shown or not. "It's more important that you open up to yourself. Telling me about it is not required." She smiled at the busily tinkering foal. "But I'll keep the secret. It would become our secret then."

"Neat." Scootaloo laid down the finished picture with a satisfied grin.

Maya peeked over to find a rather nicely drawn picture of a stallion and a mare. She wanted to ask about it, but that felt rude. She sat back patiently, letting Scootaloo decide what would be shared or not. "Can you tell me how you feel about what we discussed?"

"Yeah." Scootaloo twiddled her hooves a moment before shrugging. "I dunno, I guess I don't mind if you see the picture." She put her hooves and held up the picture. "But I have something else, um, I want to talk about. It's something I've had to deal with a long time."

Maya perked both ears. "That is a lovely picture, but, please, do share."

"Well." She looked over her shoulder at her wings, spread as they were. "These are too small. More importantly, um, my magic's too weak. I can't fly." She shrank, picture falling to the ground. "I'll probably never fly. It hurts a lot."

Maya hopped down and grabbed a blanket from her office couch and draped it around Scootaloo. "Let's cuddle under this together and talk, okay?" Soon the two of then were nestled together. "That must—" She caught herself, clenching her teeth a moment. "How does that make you feel?"

"I try not to think about it." She hugged herself, eyes closed. "But when I do, I feel like I'm just a broken pegasus, like I messed up, and I don't know how to un-mess it up. I'm just broken."

"You aren't broken." Maya nuzzled the crying filly. "You are a wonderful foal, loved and cherished by her friends and family. Flying is not the only thing that makes a pony, even a pegasus."

"I know that," Scootaloo wailed, guiltily shrinking on herself. "I know. I know up here." She tapped at her head. "But I don't always know here." She moved the same hoof to her chest. "I've done cool things, but I won't fly. I won't ever fly." She swallowed unevenly. "It hurts."

"It hurts." Maya hugged Scootaloo gently. "And it's alright to hurt. This is worth feeling hurt about." She rocked the foal slowly in place. "You aren't bad for feeling awful about this.  I won't lie and say I know how it feels, because I don't. I have all my parts, and they work. But, just imagining one of them not? It scares me. It scares me a lot. You are so brave, Scootaloo. You keep pressing on anyway."

"I don't want to let them down," Scootaloo breathed out in a broken whisper. "My mom and dad. I want to live up to their example. I want to show them that, even if I can't fly, I'm still an amazing pony." Scootaloo rubbed behind her head. "If they even know I'm alive."

Maya jerked at that. "Do they not pay attention to you?"

Scootaloo snorted powerfully at that. "They're always off on some wild adventure or another. They—" Scootaloo suddenly hiccupped, tears welling anew. "That's why they left. I couldn't keep up with them, not with these." She flapped her wings even as she flailed at them as if she could knock them off. "That makes sense!"

"No! No, please." Maya intercepted the angry hooves with her own. "Hurting yourself won't help, please, Scootaloo."

The furious bout faded into a sullen misery, the two nestled together in defeat. 

Maya squeezed Scootaloo gently. "You are not broken."

"But—"

"But nothing. You are a wonderful pony." Maya nuzzled Scootaloo firmly. "And you're amazing at a lot of things, right?"

Scootaloo grumbled but nodded. "Y-yeah. The girls say so." She smiled awkwardly at that. "I think that, most days, but this hides underneath. What do I do? I don't want to feel like this."

Maya stood up and pointed to the box. "Take that with you, and make your pictures. Decorate them with your feelings, the good ones and the bad. No feeling is bad, on its own. They get bad when you bottle them up and don't face them." She stomped a hoof suddenly. "You are so brave for coming to me, feeling like all that. So very very brave."

"I'm brave?" Scootaloo watched the box get pushed closer to herself. "Thank you." She gently collected it, tucking it away against her chest. "I can be brave. I've been plenty brave. I've fought monsters and got cutie marks! I can be brave with this."

"Yes, you can be. You can be anything you want." Maya sat back with a little smile. "But if you feel sad, that doesn't make you any less brave. Be sad, or mad, or anything else. You're a pony. Ponies feel things. That's how it should be."

"I can feel things. I'm good at that." She rubbed her teary eyes on her foreleg. "I should go." She glanced towards the window, noting the angle of the sun.

Maya pointed towards the door. "Go on home then." She hesitated. "You have a home, right?"

"Yeah?" Scootaloo looked confused at the question. "I have parents, even if they aren't around much. I'll go home." She took as calming a breath as she could manage. "I don't need anypony seeing me like this."

"Come back, when you're ready." Maya extended her arms. "I'll be happy to talk with you some more, quietly, between us. Okay?"

Scootaloo hugged her tight before bolting for the door. "I like you." She didn't wait for a reply as she shot off.

Maya took a breath. "I like you too," she whispered with a smile. "Glad I don't have to charge you, or anypony else." She nodded with simple joy at that one. "Poor thing."