//------------------------------//
// Chapter 1 
// Story: A Heart of Crystal and Glass 
// by Mani-Roar 
//------------------------------//

"Cadance…"

I didn't recognize the name, but the voice that said it was lovely. So caring.

 “Cadance.”

I tried to open my eyes, but my heavy eyelids refused to move. I finally forced them open only to see a white void. 

Nothing. Emptiness. Something was missing. Part of me was gone and I didn't know what it was. I didn't even know-

"Cadance!" 

The voice was desperate now. My eyes adapted to the light and slowly the real room came into view. I was in a bedroom, laying flat on my back in an enormous bed. The sheets were silky and warm. The comforter was a thick wool that matched its name. My head rested on a cavalcade of pillows. I could feel my wings beneath my back.

I had wings?

Yes. I was a winged creature. A pony. This much I knew. 

"Cadance…" A purple colored pony smiled above me. Her eyes nearly crying, but her face shifted from concern to joy as my sight focused in on her. Tears flowed freely down her round cheeks as she sighed in relief, breathing heavily. She looked as if she had watched a family member come back to life.

Perhaps she had.

"Are you ok? How do you feel, Cadance?" The kind pony ran her hoof along my cheek. I had no idea who she was, but the warmth of her touch made me feel at home. Like I belonged here. 

"W-where am I?" I labored to speak. My jaw would barely obey my command to move. My lips were cracked and my whole body felt atrophied. Could I even lift myself out of bed? How long had I been asleep?

"You're home, Cadance. You've been home for a long time, but you wouldn't wake up." The poor mare shook her head. Her tears stopped, yet she seemed more upset all the same. "We weren't sure you would ever wake up. Oh Cadance, I was so scared."

She leaned over as her arms glided under my back and pulled me up to hug her. Instinctively I wanted to hug her back, but I was at a loss. Something was missing.

"Cadance…" I found myself saying. The word was foreign on my tongue. I struggled to find a way to ask. I didn't want to upset this gentle mare. "You keep calling me…" I watched her eyes glisten as if they may cry again. "Am I…?" She frowned. Concern gripped her brow, dragging it upwards to scrunch her forehead as I struggled to find the words. "Am I Cadance?"

She gasped. Her hoof slapped against her mouth as horrified understanding filled her face.

"Of course you are." She nodded quickly. "Don't you…"

"I can't remember anything." I shook my head as she released me from her grip. "I don't know… I…" I rubbed my forehead to ease the throbbing pain in my skull. My hoof bumped against my horn.

My horn?

I had a horn and I had wings. That meant I was an alicorn. I had to be. There was no other explanation. 

“You don’t remember?” The kind mare asked. The magenta and violet streaks in her dark hair rustled as she tucked her chin into her chest. “As in, you don’t remember what happened?” She frowned, studying my face like I was a science experiment. 

“I don’t remember anything at all.” I confessed. “I don’t know who I am, or who you are.” I pointed at her, which I regretted as soon as I did it. It seemed a bit rude and she hadn’t done anything wrong. Her face dropped as her chin quivered from frowning so hard. 

“You don’t remember me?” She leaned closer and I could feel her body heat. My eyes darted around the room. The sizeable space somehow felt too small. The whole room was made out of crystal. The nightstand and desk were shaped like wood, but the sparkling tint in them gave their true substance away. Everything in the room was brightly colored and sparkled with the tiniest bit of light. There was just enough of a shimmer coming through the closed curtains to glisten off the side of the dresser.

“No, I don’t.” I leaned my head away from her, but there wasn’t exactly anywhere for me to go. “I’m sorry.” I tried to think about the last thing I remembered doing before waking up in this bed. I strained my mind only to find myself staring into a deep fog. As if the truth was in there somewhere, but I just couldn’t see it. 

“Cadance…” The mare collapsed her hooves onto the bed. She sat there staring down at the sheets, and then at me, and then at the bed again. 

“What’s your name?” I asked, trying to break the awkwardness. Her eyes went wide. She opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated. She shook her head as she picked up my hoof into hers. I was still nervous, yet I let her. 

“My name is Twilight Sparkle.” Her voice was soft and tender. “I’ve known you since I was a filly. You were my babysitter when I was little and now you’re my sister in law.”

My eyes went wide this time.

“Sister in law?” I repeated. It felt weird to say. “I’m married?”

Twilight nodded her head rapidly, like a bobble head toy. 

“Yes, Cadance, that’s right.” She squeezed my hoof. “You were married three years ago in the Canterlot Castle. It was a beautiful wedding, except for the part when…” she trailed off. 

“I was married in a castle?” I was surprised by the prestige of the venue. However, I had no idea what I should have expected in the first place. My blank thoughts could only think of one thing to say. “That… must have been expensive.”

“Well, yeah.” Twilight said, laughing a little. “It was expensive, but you’re a Princess. You were always going to be married in the castle.” Her dreamy eyes looked lost in memory. 

A Princess? I slid my hooves over my wings and horn again. If I was an alicorn, it made sense that I would be a Princess as well. Yet, I didn’t feel like one. Would I feel like royalty when I had my memories? Does any Princess “feel” like a Princess?

“Twilie?” A loud male voice came from outside the door. I flinched as the partially cracked bedroom door swung open in one quick motion. A tall white stallion burst into the room and I gripped Twilight’s hoof harder. “Twilie, I’m heading into town to check with the pegasi patrols. Is there anything you need…?”

He froze, staring directly at me. My jaw hinged open as I looked over his bulky figure. His blue hair curled around his angular cheek; touching him gently as the rest of his mane flowed down his back. His chest stuck out, protruding and exposing his pectoral muscles. He looked as strong as an ox, yet lean enough to still be quick and agile. A toned athlete or warrior.

He moved straight toward me and my mind panicked. I wanted to speak, but my voice wouldn't come. My heart beat furiously as he approached the bed. His face was determined and desperate as his hoof reached out. It came within an inch of my cheek when I blurted out,

"Don't touch me!" 

I didn't mean to sound so harsh, but terror gripped me just looking at him. He was handsome, but unfamiliar. Would anything ever be familiar to me again? 

He backed away one short step after another. His hoof was still reaching out toward me, but slowly losing the ground it had rapidly gained a moment ago. A knot turned in my stomach as I glanced at his face. He looked like someone had struck him. His eyes, much more gentle now, appeared like they might fill up with tears soon. 

"Cadance…" He said in a breathy voice. The name meant nothing to me. "What's the matter? Are you still hurt?"

He looked up and down my figure, causing me to blush. 

"I…" my voice wavered. "I don't know, I just…" I turned my gaze to Twilight, still sitting on the bed with me. My nose wrinkled as I silently pleaded for her to assist me. Even though I didn't remember either of them, it was harder to tell this stout stallion what was happening. As if there were more at stake. 

"Shining," Twilight began as she nodded at me before turning her gaze to him. "She doesn't remember anything. Whatever spell Chrysalis was conducting must have caused severe memory loss." 

Shining, apparently that was his name, stared blankly at Twilight. As if he couldn't quite process what she was saying until he looked at me again and the pieces fell into place. Or, perhaps rather, the pieces fell apart. His face looked gutted as he regarded me with pain filled eyes.

"You don't remember me?" 

The question stung, filling my mind with guilt. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do to assuage him unless I lied. I couldn’t bring myself to do that. 

"No." I looked away from him. "I don't remember you or her or anything. It's all blank." I rubbed my head again as if somehow massaging it would work the memories back into my brain. 

“I’m Shining Armor.” He started to move towards me, but stopped when he saw me shiver. “I’m your husband.”

My throat flooded with dread. “Cadance” was this stallion’s wife. “Cadance” was a Princess who lived in a castle. This was “Cadance’s” home, but I had no idea who I was. The thought of being married to a stallion I didn’t know horrified me. 

Cadance’s home was now my prison.

The corners of my mouth throbbed as I observed Shining Armor. Despite how strong and regal he was, his posture had collapsed. His shoulders slumped and his eyes looked like he hadn’t slept well. Everytime his eyes met mine, they quickly darted away. He had no idea what to do with himself. It wasn’t his fault. Assuming they were telling me the truth, he hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t hurt me. Yet having him in the room with me felt like a prison warden watching over me. 

“How long have I been unconscious?” I asked, changing the subject. I moved my hooves and twisted my torso, trying to feel out my physical being. I barely had any muscle on my bones whatsoever. I was weak and hungry, although food did not sound appealing at the moment. 

“A week.” Shining said and I felt my jaw drop.

“A week?” I yelled back a little too loud. No wonder my muscles were so decayed. 

“Yeah, you were hurt really badly.” He swallowed as if speaking was painful for him. “You were in a magic induced coma. I was afraid you would never wake up.” His brow lifted, lightening his expression which went from sorrow to hopeful, but then back to sorrow again. His fleeting joy evaporated by the reality of the situation. 

“I’m sorry.” Was all I could think to say. 

“Don’t be.” He smiled just a little too big. I didn’t know him and even I could tell he was attempting to be strong for me. “The important thing is that you’re ok.” He started walking forward again and I swallowed a lump in my throat. I tried to hide my anxiousness and put on a face for him too.

“Everything is gonna be fine now.” He creeped closer to me, his smile wide and his hoof outstretched. “Once you regain your memories, we’ll be back to how we were.” He was standing close enough that I could pick up his scent: a pleasant, yet overbearing musk. “It’ll be like nothing ever happened.”

He reached for my cheek. I wanted to let him. He obviously cared about me. He probably hadn’t slept the entire week while I was in a coma. Imagine waiting every night for your beloved to finally wake up, worrying that you may never see them again. Never getting to say “goodbye” or “I love you.” Wondering how many opportunities you had missed to say it now that they were gone. Then they finally come to. You think your prayers are answered, but then they…

“I can’t.” I closed my eyes and turned my cheek from him. I couldn’t stand to look at his reaction. I didn’t love him. I didn’t remember loving him. He was a stranger to me. And love, being in love, sharing love, well, that resonated with me. I understood it. But, towards him, I felt… nothing. When I opened my eyes again, he was past the foot of the bed and almost to the door. 

“I should let you rest.” He said to the floor. “You’ve been through a harrowing experience and you need time to process it. I don’t wanna…” He paused to look up at my uneasy expression, “I’m just afraid that I’m making it worse somehow.”  

Twilight pounded the bed with her hoof. It was absorbed by the mattress, but the sudden movement frightened me. 

“Queen Chrysalis.” She grunted through gritted teeth. She glared at me with a fierce rage. I could feel my own body heat rise as my heart rate went up. I wanted to believe that this mare was my friend, perhaps even my family, but I hesitated. I didn’t know her. I couldn’t be sure of anything. Who could I trust? What if they were the one who captured me and did this? No, that couldn’t be. It didn’t feel like they were faking their reactions. 

“Who is Queen Chrysalis?” I asked

“She’s the evil Queen of the Changelings.” Something about the way Twilight hissed “evil,” made me shutter. “All we know is, she kidnapped you and took you to the Crystal Caves under the mountain to conduct some sort of sinister experiment on you. That’s why your memories are gone.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “We didn’t get to you in time before she did permanent damage to you. I should have stopped her. Maybe then you’d remember. I’m so sorry, Cadance.”

Twilight wrapped her hooves around my waist and cried on my shoulder. She sobbed like she’d been holding it back for the entire week I was unconscious. Putting on a brave face. In some way, I could relate to that. I needed to do the same. Absorb this information in my own time but smile and nod for now. I could feel the warmth of her tears and breath in my chest as I ran my hoof through her soft violet mane.

“It’s alright, Twilight. Your name was Twilight right?” I laughed nervously, which sounded more like a chuckled cough. 

“Yes.” Her muffled voice was strained as the sound buried into my collarbone. 

“I’m sure you did everything you could.” I assumed that they had saved me from this Queen Chrysalis and brought me back alive. What was left of me anyway. Yet, she still blamed herself for what happened under the mountain. I was suddenly relieved that I couldn’t remember anything. It was probably an intensely unsettling affair. 

“But how could you know that if you don’t remember what happened?” She looked up at me with her foal-like gaze. Sniffling and frowning like she was about to be punished by a parent. I certainly had no reprimands for her. Unfortunately, I also had no answer to her point. I just stammered out something unintelligible and trailed off.

“I was there too, Twilie.” Shining Armor stood over his sister and placed his hoof on her back. My hooves were just below his, almost touching. Both of us were now comforting Twilight together. I wondered if this was normal for us as a family?

Family?

This was my family. For the moment, I didn’t mind their closeness. Shining Armor was standing right over me again, but he also respected my wish not to be touched. Not by him. 

“And I do remember what happened.” He continued and Twilight gripped me tighter. “You acted quickly and decisively. You destroyed the orb that Chrysalis was using to modify or enhance her magic. We’re not sure exactly what she was trying to do with her experiment.” He gave me a quick shrug. “There was nothing more you could have done.”

“But it wasn’t enough!” Twilight whipped her head around to face Shining Armor as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I’m supposed to save the day. I’ve done it so many times, me and my friends. We’ve saved Equestria from many evil beings and it always works out in the end, but this time…” She looked at me and lost control of her tears, sobbing and gasping for breath to continue speaking. “It’s not ok.”

She shook her head and repeated, “It’s not ok. I’ve lost you, Cadance. I’ve lost my sister in law.”

I could feel my own tears welling up. It was hard not to be emotional when the pony grasping me so tightly was sobbing uncontrollably. Blaming herself for a failure that I could not condemn her for. I took a deep breath and forced them back down.

“I’m still here.” I pressed my forehead against hers, our horns crossed with a gentle tapping sound. “I may not know who I am, but I’m here because of you. Safe, alive, and obviously loved. Thank you, Twilight.”

“Her memories will come back.” Shining smiled at Twilight and then me. His eyes betrayed the doubt and anguish he was hiding. “We’ll find a way to fix this, to heal her. And failing that, I’m sure it will just be a matter of time.”

“How can you know that?” Twilight argued back. “We don’t know the nature of the magic being used. There’s nothing to base a working theory on whether it’s temporary or not. Without more data, there’s no way to…”

“Twilie.” Shining interrupted her. “It’s going to be alright. We will get Cadance's memories back.” He turned to look at me as he added, “I promise.” 

I saw the hope in his eyes. His promise filled me with a hope that was steadfast. I felt myself blush. Twilight didn’t look convinced so I decided to change the subject and hide my feelings.

“Why do you always have to save the day? Save Equestria?” I asked as my eyes drew to the wings on Twilight’s back. 

“Because I’m Equestria’s Princess of Friendship.” She loosened her grip on me to sit up straight and square her shoulders. “It’s my duty to protect Equestia from all who would threaten it, foreign and domestic.” 

My jaw dropped. Everypony in this room was royalty. Just one big happy royal family, I suppose. 

“So we’re all Equestrian royalty?” I asked as the mood in the room improved slightly. 

“Yes.”

“Sort of…” 

They spoke simultaneously. Shining Armor looked perplexed so Twilight elaborated on her comment. “Well, you see, I’m Equestrian royalty. This is technically the Crystal Empire of which you and Shining Armor are co-rulers.”

“The Crystal Empire? So, we’re not part of Equestria?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. I suppose that explained the crystal furniture. I wondered if the roads themselves were carved out of crystal.

“Yes and no.” Twilight tilted her head back and forth as if to answer my tilt. “It’s an independent protectorate state with its own ruling body. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna of Equestria are sort of like watchful friends and guardians for the Crystal Empire.” She smiled warmly as she mentioned the other Princesses. That made four in total by my count and one Prince. Just how much royalty these territories had I was uncertain of. 

“So we’re an Equestrian puppet state.” I said flatly, simplifying it rationally to myself. I didn’t mean to imply anything by it, but Twilight gasped and shared an uncomfortable glance with Shining Armor. 

“What? No!” Twilight’s face contorted in panic as she tried to find the right words. “I mean…” She sighed. “I suppose from a cynical point of view you could describe it that way, but it’s not like that at all.” She shook her head fervently.

I reeled back instantly. Embarrassed to have caused friction amongst the close group. My cheeks heated so much I must have been bright red in the face. 

“I’m sorry. If you, or we, don’t see it that way then that’s fine. I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” I could hear the wheels turning in my brain as I backpedaled. 

“But you think foreign powers might see it that way.” Shining Armor glared directly at me. No, not at me. Straight through me. As if he could read my mind and hear my thoughts. Maybe he could with some kind of royal magic or marriage bond spell. The more I thought about what I didn’t know, the scarier my situation was. I decided it was best to just stick to the conversation at hand and not let my mind drift too much.

Oh no. What was I going to do when I was alone and trying to sleep?

“Yes.” I answered him honestly and returned his serious stare. I didn’t care how frightened I was on the inside, I wasn’t going to let some stallion intimidate me. Even if he was supposedly my husband. That was probably unfair. It’s not like he was trying to intimidate me. I thought. I hoped.

“Then you think that the Crystal Empire may look weak to outsiders?” He said like he was trying to sound neutral and unimpassioned, yet just a tinge of attitude slipped through. 

“I think we may look dependent on Equestria, yes.” I furrowed my brow as I answered back, equally neutral. “And Equestria may look imperialistic as a result.” I expected Shining to get a little upset and respond, but it was Twilight who looked offended as she answered.

“Equestria is not imperialistic!” She sounded just as upset as when she spoke of Queen Chrysalis. Her cheeks flushed as fumes came off her glare. “Celestia would never oppress any country or race.” I wanted to apologize, but she continued before I could jump in. “And the Crystal Empire is not a puppet state. They have their own voice in Equestria and are free to rule themselves. You have your own laws and officials. And if you and Shining disagreed with Celestia on something she asked, you could absolutely refuse her request. Your independence is paramount!” She slammed her hoof on the bed again. Suddenly I felt like we were foals having an argument at a sleepover. Arguing with raised voices while lounging on a bed seemed a bit ridiculous. I half expected a pillow to fly at my face.

“I’m sorry.” My voice dropped to near a whisper. Twilight’s expression instantly softened. “I was just thinking about what someone else may think.”

“But you don’t seriously think that, right Cadance?” Twilight made the saddest, most puppy-like expression at me.

“I’m sure the relationship between the two powers is just like you say.” I smiled as kindly as I could muster at her. My family risked their lives to save me and all I could do was insult their homeland. A homeland that they themselves ruled. I must have been a miserably selfish creature. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just open up to them? Let them be my family. 

Why didn’t I feel safe?

Twilight returned my smile, taking my hoof into hers again. 

“Well that’s good.” She sighed for a moment. “I’m sorry I raised my voice at you. You’ve gone through such an awful ordeal and it’s not fair for me to lash out like that.” She rubbed my upper arm with her hoof. The rustling of my body fur felt nice to her gentle touch. 

“Uhm, while I hate to break up our touching reunion…” Shining Armor cleared his throat as he carefully watched his sister touch my arm. The jealousy was seeping into his furrowed brow and tired eyes. It was my fault. I was guilty of this hypocrisy. I could remember neither of them, yet I was ok with Twilight’s touch, but not his. I looked away from him in shame. “But, we do have a kingdom to consider.”

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked and I was grateful that I didn’t have to. 

“Princess Cadance has been absent from the public eye for a week.” He gestured to me. I saw his pointed hoof out of the corner of my eye. “We didn’t want the public, or our enemies for that matter, to know she was in a coma. But word has been getting around that she’s sick. We need to make a public appearance to show our subjects that Cadance is fine and life is going on as normal.” 

“Is my presence that critical?” I asked, finally looking at him again. There was nothing but coldness in his eyes. Maybe he was angry that his wife was so cruel to him. Maybe he was just dealing with such rejection by putting on a strong face and talking business. Rather it was either or both I didn’t know. 

“If you were just on vacation it would be one thing.” He sighed and made a conscious effort to lighten his expression. I almost preferred the cold one. This guy could not hide that he was in a bad mood at all. Was I into such sensitive and earnest stallions? His muscles sure didn’t look sensitive, but meeting him for five minutes revealed his true nature. 

“However, your magic controls the Crystal Heart.” He continued. “It’s an artifact that stores the good will of our kingdom. It forms a protective barrier around our capital, and powers the city. Your love magic is what keeps the heart functioning. If the Crystal Ponies knew you were unconscious, the public might panic.” He trailed off for a moment.

“And our enemies might take the opportunity to strike.” I finished for him. 

“That’s right.” He nodded. “Chrysalis is still out there.”

“Oh my Celestia!” We both turned as Twilight slapped her forehead. “How could I forget about the Crystal Heart? I’ve been so focused on Cadance’s recovery I forgot to consider the risk to the city. I’m such a bad Princess, I could have…”

“Hey, hey, hey…” Shining interrupted Twilight. “It’s alright. Nopony is a perfect royal, myself included. I’ve been keeping an eye on the Crystal Heart. If I saw any signs of trouble, I would have asked for your help.” He smiled at her. Finally a genuine, brotherly smile. I couldn’t help but smile myself.

“When do we need to make our appearance?” I asked and Shining Armor tucked his shoulders back

“If you need more time to rest, that’s fine.” He began walking towards the door again. The shifting light of day caught a magenta crystal vase on the nightstand, illuminating his exit with spectral light. “But I was hoping we could make a statement today. The sooner we address this the better.”

“Today it is then.” I replied. Shining looked like he wanted to say something else. Instead he chose to just nod in agreement.

“Cadance.” Twilight tugged on my hoof. “Please don’t overextend yourself. I would hate for your condition to worsen and for you to get hurt.” Her eyes pleaded with me again. For some reason I didn’t find it comforting this time. I was in a weakened state for sure, but even though I had no idea what my strength was before, I knew I wasn’t fragile. 

“We do it today.” My brow furrowed. “You say I’m a Princess. That means I have a duty to my citizens, and I will not fail them.” 

Twilight and Shining Armor fell silent as they each shared a nod with each other. We were all royalty. We all knew what was required of us whether we felt like it or not. Or at least, they did. I could only guess. 

“I’ll let everypony know that we’re going to make an official announcement from the balcony overlooking the grand plaza.” Shining opened the bedroom door with such a purposeful vigor, my eyebrow rose in intrigue. “I’ll summon Pell to help accompany you to the dressing room.”

“Who’s Pell?” I asked.

“Oh right…” He sighed and took a breath. “This is gonna take some getting used to. Pell, or rather Pellucid, is your personal servant. She can get you anything you need.”

“Servant?” My voice rose more than I wanted it to. “You mean like a slave?” I regretted the question as soon as it left my lips. Twilight and Shining both gasped this time. I apparently had a talent for blurting out social taboos. Shining Armor chose to grin this time while Twilight shook her head disapprovingly. 

“Call her a slave to her face and she may have some choice words for you.” Shining chuckled. It was nice to hear some genuine laughter out of him. “But, no, Pell is paid handsomely for her work here in the castle and she is free to resign anytime she wishes.”

“I see.” I turned to face Twilight and her grumpy expression. “I’m sorry for my weird comments.”

She smiled back at me. It was her turn to fake it this time. 

“It’s alright Cadance.” Her voice was warm and bright again. “You’re just trying to understand how everything works. You have to re-learn your whole life from scratch. I understand.” She rubbed my hoof one more time before standing up. The mattress jostled as she hopped off.

“I’ll set the announcement for two hours from now.” Shining stepped through the door but turned back around to face us again. “I recommend you wash up and get something to eat. If you feel faint at all, let me know and I’ll delay the appearance.” 

“I’ll be fine.” I said in a deep tenor, much harsher than I should have. He left without another word.

“You will say something if you’re not feeling well, right?” Twilight asked as she headed for the door.

“I will.” I lied. I would collapse on that balcony if I had to. For some reason, I couldn’t stand being looked upon as weak. Even if they only had the best intentions and I was physically weak at the moment. I moved my hooves into my lap and even that simple motion felt challenging. 

“Twilight.” I called her name and she turned around halfway out the door. I knew I shouldn’t push the issue. I had already said enough and should just leave well enough alone. I also couldn’t help myself. “When was the last time Princess Celestia allowed the Crystal Empire to disagree with Equestria on something?”

Twilight grinned bitterly at the floor.

“I hope you get better soon, Cadance.” She said and left me alone in the bedroom.



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