//------------------------------// // Chapter 8 // Story: An Earthling Earth Pony at Celestia's School of Magic: Year One // by Halira //------------------------------// It took me a while to figure out exactly where to report to class with Neighsay. Eventually, I found the room I was looking for but was shocked to learn that it was not a classroom but his office.  He looked up at me from where he was reading at his desk as I entered. “Mister Turnip Jones, you made it on time, if just barely. Close the door behind you and take a seat.” I did as instructed and then looked around for a seat. Neighsay’s office was dimly lit, with dark red curtains drawn over the windows, an equally dark red carpet that reminded me of dried blood, and bookshelves lined with scrolls and massive tomes. There were also two large lockers with padlocks on them. The only seat in the room seemed to be the one Neighsay was sitting in behind his desk. Not knowing what else to do, I sat down in front of the desk, just far enough away from it that he and I could still see each other. He grimaced as he looked at me. “It seems ill-advised to have admitted a student incapable of performing the essential tasks to pass his classes, but that is what our administration has decided to do. Honestly, in the old days, such a thing would never have been allowed, but the rulebook has been tossed aside in this desperate gamble to right the course of this institution. I can’t say I find any way this could correct our course, only worsen it, but the princess has given the headmaster ultimate power in deciding how things shall progress, and I can only do what I can to try to make something of this farce. Honestly, there is innovation, and then there is absurdity, and this clearly falls in the latter category.” Okay, I was now in agreement with Bright. I did not like Professor Neighsay.  He floated a scroll over and dropped it on the floor before me. “That is your assigned reading list. All those books are available in the library. If at any point one of them isn’t because it is checked out, you may come to me, and I will loan you a copy, which I expect to be returned in perfect condition. Your first assignment will be to read Sun Orchard’s discourse on the history of artifacts and provide me with a one-thousand-word essay by the end of the week explaining how you think artifacts most impact the realm–and do not plagiarize. While we are supposed to meet three times a week, it will be more often just at the beginning and end of the week, with me assigning you tasks to complete in the interim. By the end of the semester, I will be testing you on the proper care for artifacts, giving you a list of artifacts of which you will give detailed explanations of the risks that improper care of each, in particular, can bring, how to minimize those risks, and what the best course of action to take if for some reason a problem arises. I will do some demonstrations on and off that I expect you to take careful notes on. Do I make the expectations clear?” I nodded. “Yes, Professor Neighsay.” He nodded in return. “If you demonstrate to me to my satisfaction by the end of this course that you have retained the lessons, you shall be granted access to an artifact allowing you to use your magic much like a unicorn can. You will be allowed to use it for the rest of your time at this institution, including the breaks, but upon graduation or termination of your enrollment, you shall return it to me. Perhaps if you excel well enough, you can create a replacement while you still have the capability. While I do not think that is likely, I do not dismiss it as a possibility. I would like it if you impressed me, Mister Turnip Jones.” “I hope I can impress you, Professor Neighsay,” I replied, feeling it was the only appropriate response.  He smirked. “Well, you at least know how to be respectful. I have a question for you. You are from Earth. Have you heard of any human matching Headmaster’s description, or can you discern anything about his origins?” I shook my head. “I’ve been curious about it–everyone I know has been, but there isn’t anyone on Earth I know of is like him. He looks like he is Asian, so maybe he’s from China. I heard they have a lot of strong magic users there, but not many people know much about them because China keeps everything secretive. That’s only a guess. He could be from anywhere in Asia, or he could be from somewhere else entirely and just have Asian ancestry. I wish I knew more to tell you.” “Hmm, it is more information than I had, at least,” Professor Neighsay sighed. “Humans all look alike to me, and I’m unfamiliar with features common to different regions of your world. The China hypothesis might be worth pursuing since the Chinese school performed the best in the last two years’ games. Having two humans on staff frustrates me to no end.” Since Neighsay seemed willing to vent, I decided to try to pry for some information, especially if he was also frustrated by Professor Newman.  “I noticed that Professor Newman didn’t get any reaction from the artifact that tests our magic power. Does she have no magic?” I asked.  He grimaced. “None that I have been able to detect. If there is any, it is exceptionally weak to the point of uselessness. The woman was an errand runner for a great mage for nearly thirty years. I suppose over those decades, she learned much about magic from her employer. I’d have preferred we employ her former employer, and that mage previously worked at this school but has not been seen in the last two years, and her whereabouts are unknown. She was nearly eighty years old with power no greater than yours, so perhaps she died–pity. Professor Newman primarily teaches foundational courses, and her advanced course could only be taught better by her former employer and Starlight Glimmer, so I have fewer qualms with her presence here compared to Headmaster, who is a complete unknown.” “Well, if I notice anything odd or telling about Headmaster, I’ll let you know,” I replied. It didn’t hurt to be in the good graces of my teachers, particularly one my ability to stay at this school past the first year depended on. Neighsay might even end up giving me clues about Headmaster’s identity in turn. Was I a brownnoser? I had a very brown nose, like my fur, and brownnosing could open doors. I didn’t need to like Neighsay, but I did need him to like me.  Neighsay looked me over. “You do seem to be the observant type, the observant type who asks questions and knows how to speak to those in authority. These are the traits of a good student. You may count me as moderately impressed.” I smiled. “Thank you, Professor Neighsay.” “I have been involved with education and politics most of my near hundred and thirty years of life, and I can say from experience that those traits are also the traits of a smooth talker and opportunist. I am older and wiser than you, young colt, and am wise to you,” Neighsay continued dryly. “Not that it is terrible to be those things if you channel that to the greater good–after all, most great leaders have a gift for speaking to others and taking advantage of opportunities, and this school is not just training mages but also leaders. Still, you bear watching.”  He was nearly a hundred and thirty? He certainly didn't look it. I would have guessed he was in his sixties. Prolonged lifespans and youth were a sign of having strong magic. It was why a pony like Applejack looked young enough to be Professor Applebloom’s daughter, even though Professor Applebloom was Applejack’s little sister, or why Starlight Glimmer still looked like a young mare not even ten years older than me, even though she was well over sixty. Magic expanded lifespans. If Neighsay was that old, he must be pretty powerful.  I had a sudden vision of my entire class gathering for our fiftieth class reunion, and all of us looked old, except for Summer, who would still look like she was fresh out of college. That would be weird.  The fact he could tell I was brownnosing and prying for information was enough to make me decide to stop trying to get more out of him for the moment.  “I will do my best, Professor Neighsay. Um…so, what are we doing the rest of class?” I asked.  “Nothing,” Neighsay answered. “You have your assignment. I expect you to have it ready for me next time we meet. Make sure to double-check your spelling and use good hoovewriting. I don’t want to have to decipher what you have written. If I can’t read it, you don’t get credit. You are free to go about your own business until your next class. Be on your way. We will meet again on Friday.” I left his office unsure of what to do with myself. After double-checking my scroll, I saw my next period was lunch, then onto Physical Education with Coach Scootaloo. The only adjustments to my schedule this semester had been this class, and on the rotating day, I had Herbology with Professor Applebloom instead of Elementary Elemental Magic with Professor Glitter Drops, and I had two adjustments next semester as well. My heart sank as I also read I was going to be required to take summer classes to catch up on the four classes my classmates had that I didn't, but would eventually have some free periods next year when my classmates were taking classes I took this year, so there was some tradeoff.  That class had been particularly short, so I had a lot of time on my hooves before lunch. Maybe it was time to find the library.