Ask Me When I'm Sober

by Swank


A Night (mostly) Unforgettable

What a week it had been.
Not that daring adventures with even more dire stakes at play couldn't be fun. Not to also play down the fact that everyone had to essentially prepare two royal weddings in that entire time rather than just one. No doubt something like that could prove tiring or drive anypony up a wall with tension. 
So by the time the reception of Shining Armor and Princess Cadence finally kicked off, inhibitions went a little looser as a collective sigh of relief let out. Rarity gave a very passionate fight for the bouquet throw, after which many a stallion would keep their distance in the night. Twilight had somehow pulled off an entire musical number without a hint of preparation. The resident party pony of the bunch had nearly started several political conflicts by completely disregarding social status for the sake of shooting her confetti cannon wherever she felt. Fluttershy wasn't seen outside the botanical garden much save for the dance all six of them saved for each other with the subsequent group photo.
Another notable event is how Applejack fell into the fountain after a small tipsy bout of rough-housing with Rainbowdash. Followed by the now-drenched pony to pull her in as well. A splashing showdown for the ages is what some would recount it as. However, the night was still young and both of them regretted just how cold it would make them for the rest of the night. 
Most ponies danced and others mingled. Rainbowdash ended up drying herself off by performing some air tricks in the starry sky above. Her adversary in the fountain however found herself at the bar, the only dry piece of apparel being the hat on her head, relying on the alcohol to warm her up. Despite how her dress still stuck to her skin, making her hair stand on end and nearly shivering, Applejack couldn't help but smile. From the bar she could watch the entire party, spotting many eating her own products in awe of the flavor but best of all everyone looked so darn happy. A welcome sight as ever, but sweeter especially after everything they'd been through.
She took a sip of her hard cider. "APPLEJACK!!!" and nearly spat it out at the piercing shriek down the other end of the bar.
It was none other than Rarity, waving her down with a hoof in the air, before just deciding to make her way over. In the air suspended by blue magic was a glass of wine, something so vibrantly red it didn't quite look real.
"Heya Rares," she smiled at her friend. "You find your groom to be just yet?"
"Not yet, I'm taking a break from my search." Rarity's words came out slow like she was concentrating a little too hard on how to make the noises with her mouth. "I felt like I haven't seen you since you fell into the fountain and I'd be cross if I didn't at least spend some time with you tonight. Especially when you're so stunningly modeling my work, even if it's a little wet now." 
Applejack chuckled while everything clicked in her head. Though tipsy herself, earlier the fountain cleared her up just a bit before she got back into it. Rarity on the other hand was already there, a blush apparent on her cheeks.
"Mighty sweet of you sugarcube." The unicorn hummed pleasantly as if to say 'Of course,' and took a sip of her wine before setting it on the bar's surface. "How many of those have you had?"
"This is only my second," she trailed off with a giggle. "That is of course if you don't count the shots I had with Pinkie..."
"And how long ago was that?" Applejack asked.
She opened her mouth to answer then shut it promptly to think a moment further. "Maybe just before I got this new glass..."
Attention back on her glass she levitated it once again and brought it to her mouth, taking a longer sip eyes cast downward, looking into the deep red. Then those brilliant blue eyes connected with Applejack's and remained there as she rested her lips on the brim of the glass. Maybe the hard cider she drank was working because now Applejack felt warm in her cheeks too. The blue aura raised it once again to take another sip, still locked onto green eyes until a hoof landed upon her shoulder.
"Hold it," Applejack peered a little closer at her friend, unaware that Rarity stopped breathing as she did so. Raising the hoof, she brought it across and gently pushed the wine back to the bar top. "Have you drank any water yet?"
"No." Looking past her Applejack saw that the bartender was swarmed with a tide of partygoers at this exact moment.
"Well you can have some of mine then," she pushed along a glass of her own water to her. "Don't want you feeling all nasty in the mornin', or throwing up any of that stuff either. 
"And I thought I was the element of generosity." They shared a laugh before Rarity uttered a small thank you and took a large gulp of water. 
They sat together drinking for a while, eventually getting that second glass of water so they didn't drink off of only one. Applejack thought it was just the cider getting to her but Rarity almost seemed disappointed not to be sharing anymore. The disappointment faded quickly as though it were never there in the first place as those shots seemed to come into full swing. Soon enough Rarity sat behind either the wine or water making silly little comments on all the outfits of the guests around them.


Those colors could work really well together but it's a shame they couldn't figure out how.
Yes, that ensemble is no doubt complex and takes a master of the craft to achieve but you look closer and none of it makes sense!
White is always a bad choice to a wedding darling...
Oh, I wouldn't be caught dead in a hat like that!


The farmer was just happy enough to sit and laugh along with her. Sometimes they'd sit in silence, other times it seemed there was no end to Rarity. Regaling designs in her head, their inspirations, what colors perhaps they'd best work in. A question would be asked and Applejack tried her best to have some useful input but then Rarity would think of something else and go on for another few minutes. The earth pony wondered why she hadn't run off yet when there were many fetching stallions to catch her eye. At the same time, she was grateful because sure enough she was delving in a state where it was better to keep her here and stave off any potential embarrassment from her inebriation. Enough was evident by the fact that she practically had begun to lean on Applejack while hanging off the edge of her seat. Rarity didn't even care that her hours of washing, drying, and shaping her mane became what a sober Rarity would call ruined, resting it upon Applejack's slightly damp shoulder.
"You know what, Applejack?"
"Yes, sugarcube?"
"I have been talking your ear off for some time now." Before Applejack could protest she realized she'd just been smiling and humming along for some time now. "I want to hear from you, darling."
"Well, what dya wanna hear then?"
"That shouldn't be up to me-" Rarity paused, tilting her head upward to look at her. "But if you insist on what I would like to hear..." She lifted herself away from Applejack's shoulder, sat firmly back on her seat, and took yet another sip of her dwindling wine. "Who was your first crush?" 
Applejack waited for her to start giggling wildly again and tell her it was all some fib. But she just stared intently, for a moment she wondered if the unicorn was taking lessons from Fluttershy. Speaking of, she hadn't seen much of the particular pegasus that night. She shook her head as what Rarity was asking registered.
"This is a little outta nowhere, don't ya think Rares...?" She went for a sip of cider, forgetting she'd already finished the bottle a few minutes back. A few drops hit her mouth and for a second she considered getting another.
"As one of your best friends I have decided, no, discovered? Realized may be a better term... In short, I don't know anything of you romantically! Meanwhile, I have gone on and on about finding my perfect match and my own fairytale romance." It was true, several times the unicorn even included Applejack in her plots and ventures over the year. Meanwhile the farmer thought of other things first and foremost. A pony like her had little time for dates and the like between farming, spending time with her friends, and helping Granny around the house, so why even spare it a thought?
But it wasn't like she never thought about it. 
"Ya know, it's the funniest thing-" She nearly raised her hoof to call the bartender over for that next bottle only to decide against it at the last second. Instead, electing to drink some more water as it was getting hot, especially under Rarity's gaze. If it was anyone else maybe she would go on, to her, Applejack was tempted to tell a fib. She was a lousy liar, however. "Never mind..."
"Oh, darling, please do go on! You have me at the edge of my seat!" With that Rarity began to sway and Applejack reached to secure her in the stool again.
"It's embarrassing, I think I'd rather not say-'' Rarity put a hoof to her lips, shutting her right up.
"You fell into a fountain at the reception of a royal wedding. In front of not only the most important ponies in Canterlot but perhaps all of Equestria!" As though she had won the grandest and most tantalizing debate in all of time, she sat back with her hooves crossed and muzzle pointed smugly in the air. Applejack had to keep herself from laughing. "I think you are far past the point of embarrassment tonight!"
Rarity would consider it a social catastrophe. Anypony else would think the same no doubt. As long as those ponies' names weren't Applejack and Rainbowdash of course, who'd never let such a tumble ruin their night.
Sitting back in her seat, she whistled low, looking from rarity to her glass of water and back and forth and back and forth. There was the possibility that Rarity wouldn't remember if she gave her the honest answer. Not that she was dangerously or near blackout drunk, but she was indeed drunk. Another big gulp of water, as if it would magically dispel the tipsy she also felt, Applejack avoided eye contact but went on.
"Fine, I'll tell ya. Remember how I left for Manehattan way back when-" GASP
"You fell in love in the city! Oh, how romantic!" She giggled wildly for a second before stopping herself, blue eyes larger and sadder than ever before. "And you had to depart, the orchard calling to you while the city demanded they stay behind, how tragic!" Applejack smirked back at her wholly unamused. "What? I am only expressing my sympathies."
"That ain't how it went and I'm fairly certain I'm the one telling my story." Rarity sunk into her stool, hiding behind her glass of water while muttering a small apology. "So, I came back to Ponyville after living with Auntie and Uncle Orange for a bit. And all of a sudden you became so interested in me?"
"Yes?"
"I ended up telling you squat about stuff I didn't even know, because for the first time in all my time in knowing you it was like I had something worth keeping you around me." She'd told her all this before back when they were fillies when she first had come clean about the the fibs. Not in such emotionally mature language as she could now, but in essence it was similar. "Well, I'm pretty sure looking back on it, that an even bigger part of it was me crushing on you. Wanted to keep you interested in me." Pausing to adjust the hat on her head, she scrunched her eyes closed. "And yeah that went on for some time after." Applejack chose to omit that it went on into her teenage years too, but she didn't have to mention that part.
After a sip of wine, a moment of silence and an intense side-eye. "Huh."
"Whaddya mean, huh?"
"I just don't see why that would be embarrassing darling." It almost frustrated Applejack just how mellow of a reaction it was. Frustrating her even further because she couldn't place why she was getting frustrated in the first place. "Look at me, I'm gorgeous. and no doubt I was serving looks back then too. It's only natural for anypony to become infatuated with me." That's when Applejack got the bright idea of turning it back onto Rarity, as some sort of payback.
"Yeah? Well, I'm remembering why I stopped crushing on you too." In reality, there came a point where she decided to just live with the fact that a pony as beautiful as Rarity wouldn't ever see much in her or even be into mares with how much she fawned over stallions. But this moment came with a wonderful opportunity to tease. Rarity rose a single brow towards her. "Yeah, I knew that someday I'd have to watch over my would-be crush as she got mighty drunk and absolutely full of herself like a total brat." 
Rarity gave her a shove as Applejack laughed out hearty and full. The laugh was much more infectious than she anticipated though, returning it with her giggles of her own and the two of them throwing back silly insults towards one another. Not getting quite to the extent that she'd get with Rainbowdash, but Applejack shoved back too, making sure she didn't quite topple her over.
The party got nowhere near rowdy, it wasn't in the nature of such an event held in Canterlot. Still, Ponies spun in circles on dance floors just further away. Laughter hung around like an ever-present cloud in the space. At some point, a fireworks show had begun and ponies all around clapped with interspersed ooohs and ahhhs. It was a delightful air, as was deserved after such an ordeal with the first wedding.
The two ponies at the bar settled down from their mini bout. Applejack gently smiled down at Rarity as she rested her head on the bar with a sigh. For some reason, she kept wanting to hear her voice, as slurred and unfocused as it became as the unicorn was caught in her state of inebriation.
"I mean, if it makes you feel any better I also had a crush on you once upon a time." What.
"What?" Applejack asked, incredulous.
"What?" Rarity repeated, unfazed.
It made no sense for Applejack to start to feel the blood pumping in her ears, heart ready to burst from her chest. No sense for Rarity to have been blushing even harder than before. Or at least, it looked like she was. 
"Rares, dya mind repeating what you just said?"
"What?" Then she laughed with a snort. "I'm just pulling your leg, darling don't fret!" Finally, she sat back up and levitated her glass before her face, taking an extra moment to clear her throat. "I said: I also had a crush on you once upon a time."
Ponies around them began to move in slow motion. The surrounding ambience comes to a quiet. Like it was just the two of them in all of Canterlot, no, the whole wide world.
"How long ago is once upon a time?" 
"Oh, you know...." Rarity trailed off muttering a single word into the glass.
"Sugarcube," something felt different about the way she used the endearing term. A catch-all before for all of her closest friends, but not quite appropriate anymore."I didn't catch that..."
"Now." She quickly finished the contents of her glass. "Once upon a time is now."
Now, the word echoed in the other pony's head, as her world began to sway. All over again she was just a teenage filly, following Rarity around with nothing with the shyest of looks and the emptiest of minds. All that time just wishing she could muster whatever it was she needed to finally do something about it. All at once remembering the hopelessness she'd felt as Rarity went on crushing on one colt to the next, moving on with her life to bigger and better things than just some farmer earth pony too scared to make a move.
Then Applejack imagined what it would be like to go up to the smaller version of herself, look her in the eyes, and tell her that someday Rarity might just like her back. She imagined the filly she was to brighten up like the stars above and leap in joy, nothing but the biggest smiles plastered on her face. It felt good, she decided, almost pitying that her younger self never got that. Shifting her mind back to the present, to a bar stool as her dress finally seemed to dry, Rarity hiding behind an empty glass of wine, either of them redder than a tomato, that happiness didn't exactly fade away. Now Applejack smiled too, and she realized she was happy too while being wholly unable to distinguish why.
Rarity levitated the glass a little further up so that she looked through it directly at Applejack. It made her face look magnified and distorted like one of those mirrors you'd find at the fair, raising up and down slightly as Rarity began to giggle softly.
"This makes your face look so adorably tiny, you know..." Rarity kept giggling through a wide smile while hooking a hoof onto the bar for support. Applejack remembered that the unicorn was drunk.
"Maybe we should get you some more water before you say anything else you don't mean, Sugarcube..." The blue aura surrounding the glass dissipated and the glass plummeted straight to the floor. Applejack tried her best to catch it, but her reflexes had taken a toll by then, extending a hoof to at least halt the fall just a little only far after the thing crashed into a million little pieces. "Darn it!" No doubt everyone around was staring by now.
"I am not a liar Applejack, and I am quite orfen-" From above Rarity huffed, "Offoned- oreded" She groaned in frustration and pulled Applejack up with a hoof at either side of her head. Now face to face she tried again; "Offrennsed!"
"Offended."
"Yes, that!" Those blue eyes could pierce through a mountain as they gazed directly into Applejack. If anything about this evening or this very interaction weren't so intoxicating, she would've sworn those blues made their way to her muzzle more than once. "You should know by now that I mean what I say and if I didn't, mean what I say, then I wouldn't say it at all. In the first place," The words only confused Applejack just a bit further. "Just stay there looking handsome, nod, and hear me out."
Handsome reverberated in every notch in her spine. It left Rarity's mouth just so naturally. If just a single word could make a mare melt, then Applejack would be a puddle on the ground by then.
"Uhm, Rares...?"
"SHHH!"
"But-"
"BUHH bu bu buh buh buh!" Rarity gave a zipped lip motion with her hoof before brushing aside a strand of golden hair off of Applejack's face. "Why make a fuss out of stallions when I could fuss over you? Is that the question at the center of this?" Applejack opened her mouth until those eyes pierced her once again, so she simply shrugged her shoulders and shook her head with unease. "I'll give you an answer anyway, darling. You see, I care about you, a lot. A lot. As nice as they are, these stallions aren't such a good friend as you or any of the girls are to me. It's not as scary to disappoint them as it would be to disappoint you." It took a bit longer than a while to get there but she did, almost looking proud of herself for being able to manage all those words on top of upholding the dramatic flair that accompanied her speech. A thought visibly crossed her mind with a small gasp and she went on. "Also I have just discovered you are into mares, that is also a big part of it too..."
"Really?" Applejack couldn't help it. "I thought that much was like, the most obvious thing about me."
"That is not the point of all this!"
Applejack sighed, a hiccup escaping her, putting a hoof on Rarity's shoulder. "Look, Rares, it's late and probably the alcohol talking at this point. Maybe we should get you back to your room and into bed soon."
"Then you can ask me when I'm sober and I'll tell you again when I'm sober." Rarity asserted as she gently let her head rest on the bar again. "Applejack, darling, do you feel the same way? Not then, but now?"
"I-!" Applejack started only to be met with a hiccup and something stirring in her chest. Buzzing even, all in this large swirling that tickled her from the inside out without ever bringing her to erupt in laughter. Then looking back at Rarity, it was like she didn't know where she was anymore. "I think you'll need to ask me when I'm sober too."
"So we'll talk again sober, promise?" Rarity practically yawned out the last word, and after what felt like forever, she got her answer.
"I promise." Applejack slipped down from her stool, carefully sidestepping the broken glass on the ground and finding herself in front of Rarity. "Wanna head out?" silently she nodded and Applejack helped her down. "You can hold on for balance if you need it."
"Thank you, darling..." 
"Of course, sugarcube."