//------------------------------// // I Sense Something's Wrong in Ponyville // Story: Pinkie Pie's Evil Clone Saves Equestria // by owlicious //------------------------------// I woke up early one morning in my apartment, next to my sleeping husband. I feel a terrible sense of unease and wrongness that was a doozy. That’s definitely my Finger Food Sense, but that’s the first it felt like that. It didn’t feel like fun. This sense wasn’t even sadness, boredom, or pain! The feeling was more like emptiness, and it seemed stronger whenever I turned towards Ponyville. My back right leg twitched three times, too, when I thought about going to Ponyville. If I remember correctly, that means… I softly exclaim so as not to wake him, “There’s free Maneican food? In Ponyville? That can’t be right.” I write a note for my husband saying that I was going on a short visit to Ponyville to investigate some things. I put it on the nightstand where I usually leave notes. It stood next to other things that made me happy: a tiny piece of mica rock, a crude wooden sculpture of a starfish covered in light pink dots, as well as a pot of imitation felt hydrangeas that he bought. Looking at those mementos, I smile. I was terrible at wood carving when I started, but keeping my first attempt makes him happy, which makes me happy! And the real ones that he used to buy were delicious. He said that they were the same beautiful light blue as my eyes, and he hoped that these flowers would last forever, just like our marriage. Well, ponies like us don’t live forever, but I’m still planning to try for both of us! If I make more friends that can use the rest of the Elements of Harmony, then it might be possible to repeat Starswirl the Bearded’s spells. I can be Laughter, Puzzle Box can be Magic, Maud can be Honesty if she’s cool with becoming an alicorn, and then I just need to find ponies that embody the other three Elements! We would just need to steal the Elements, as well as steal the Alicorn Amulet or anything else that lets anypony cast powerful spells. Twilight hasn’t mentioned anything about immortality in the books and research papers that she’s published, probably because she wants everypony else to be mortal. And if my first plan doesn’t work, I have backup plans such as becoming a lich. Preparing to go to Ponyville, I called in sick for my job, put on my caterer’s outfit, saddlebags, as well as a cloak as a disguise, then I went to the train station to go to Ponyville. I arrived in Ponyville, and quickly galloped out of the train station. Looking around, I wasn’t sure what the wrongness was. Catchy dance music was coming from somewhere. A pair of horrifyingly familiar light blue eyes popped up from nowhere, staring at me. Pinkie Pie asked, “Do I know you from somewhere?” I said in a way that she would find as boring as possible, “I don’t believe we have. I’m only visiting.” “You look strong and you have an awesome cloak! Are you a wrestler? Or a superhero?” “No.” A look of recognition appears on her face. Oh, no. She enthusiastically asks, “Wait, are you Maud’s old study buddy from University? The one from ethics class, who had a pet mica rock? She mentioned you in her stand up routine!“ How does she know so much about Maudileena? She excitedly went on, ”Anyway, you picked a great time to visit! Princess Flurry Heart’s throwing a grand opening party for her new restaurant Maneican Bell, and there’s free music and food. They’re giving away ManeFlurries, desserts, and Maneican food such as quesadillas and burritos. You’d probably love it! Just follow the music! Oh, and Rarity’s holding a fundraiser for the orphanage!” I frown. It’s a good thing that Pinkie Pie emotionally matured and learned that she couldn’t be in two places at once, I read all about it in the Journal of Friendship, and heard it from outside the library when I was hiding in a barrel, I think sarcastically. Hopefully, all those quesadillas and their cheesiness will keep Twilight far away from Ponyville, if the tabloids are right. I know that the Journal of Friendship says that she got over her fear of ladybugs, but it didn’t say anything about quesadillas. ”Oh, sorry! Maud said that you never talked about your family. Are you an orphan?”, she rudely asked. That depends on what your definition of orphan is. I answer, “No, but my husband and I were thinking of adopting one. We aren’t able to have children.” I keep frowning. Why do I keep blurting out things without thinking about it? I should have lied! That’s super specific, and makes it easier to find out where I live from government records! But maybe it’s a good thing if she takes pity on me and thinks I’m not evil, if she ever finds out I’m her Mirror Pool clone. And why are we still talking? “By the way, which do you like more? Cinnamon or butterscotch?” I continue giving uninterested responses, “Cinnamon, I guess.” She frowned, and asked, “You don’t dislike butterscotch, do you?” “It’s alright?” She exclaimed, “Here! I baked some Cinnamon Butterscotch pies this morning. Have some free pie! She hoofed over six pies, and I absentmindedly took them and put them away below my mane. Celestia damn it, did she notice the way I put the pies away? I blurted out, “Wait, why did you even ask, if it didn’t matter? And it isn’t even Pi Day!” She responded enthusiastically, ignoring my question. “I’m just glad you like cinnamon and butterscotch! They’re delicious! I’ve been baking and giving away free pies since 3 am.” Annoyed, I pointed my freed up hoof at her face and asked, “What would I even do with six pies?!” “I’m not sure, but my Pinkie Sense told I should give you at least five pies, and I have no idea why! And I made it a Baker’s Five and gave you one more. Maybe you’re supposed to share them with your friends or family, or bring them to a potluck?” Her Pinkie Sense, too? Nothing about this day makes sense! “Oh. Well, thanks. I’ve got to go. Bye!” “Bye!” I galloped away. I overheard her say, “Hey! Can you stop by Sugarcube Corner later?” I pretended that I didn’t notice what Pinkie said, turned around a corner, and sped up. Thankfully, she didn’t follow me. I bumped into Lyra when I was looking around Ponyville. I gave her one of the pies when we apologized to each other. Thankfully, she didn’t recognize me and I didn’t tell her my name; that was still the nickname that I overheard her mention back then. It took over a decade, but I finally found that mare again and showed that her that I wasn’t annoying! I go to Carousel Boutique first to investigate, since there weren’t many ponies there. Rarity was crying. I ask her, “Is something wrong?” Maybe she knows something about the disaster, but I doubt it. She said, “Yes. This is the worst possible thing! Why is every Prince from Canterlot such a horrible stallion? Ponies are saying that several clones of him were galloping around Ponyville, and not even one showed up to help! And almost everypony went to his daughter’s party instead of my fundraiser for the orphanage! I’m going to write an article about why he’s such a villain, and send it to every newspaper and magazine I know!” I frown. Damn that Prince to Tartarus, and whatever his reasons are. Now everypony will be thinking about clones from the Mirror Pool, and the spell to banish them. I decide to pretend to be a good pony, and reason out loud “Maybe he isn’t a terrible pony. Maybe he just forgot, and he made some honest mistakes, or he needed to use the Mirror Pool because of an emergency?” I take out twice the minimum suggested donation of bits out my saddlebags, and place them as a donation in the donation box, for her to see. Trying to helpfully think of an alternative, I throw out ideas and encouragement. “I think this can still be fixed. This event is about helping the orphans. Prince Shining Armor causes a lot of problems, but he’s solved many of them by throwing bits at it and hoping his problems go away. And the orphanage sounds like it really needs those bits.“ Forcing myself to make a compassionate looking face, I say “Maybe you could write him a letter politely explaining your problems, and ask if he could help with another fundraiser? And if he doesn’t help, maybe Princess Twilight Sparkle could help? Isn’t she one of your best friends, and his sister? At least try that, before burning bridges.” Hopefully, tricking Rarity into thinking that I’m a generous creature like her will help me if her friends ever find out that I’m a clone. “I suppose you’re right. I’ll write a letter to Twilight. I can’t stand the thought of talking with him right now. How should I thank you? I know! Your tie sticks out like a sore thumb. If you come back later, I could make you a new one, on the house!” Somepony else in Manehattan can tell me what’s wrong with my tie, instead. I’m leaving as soon as I end this wrongness. I lie, “That sounds great! If nothing else comes up, I’ll be there!”