Why did I even take history as an elective? It’s useless!
My sometimes fun history professor lectured, “There have been many threats to Equis over the ages. The Progenitors of Equis were wiped out for an unknown reason, hundreds of thousands of years ago.“
The cream-colored unicorn stallion continued, “The Dark Forest Hypothesis is generally agreed to be the most likely reason for the events causing their disappearance. It argues that ’the intentions of any newly contacted civilization can never be known with certainty, meaning that, if one is encountered, it is best to shoot first and ask questions later, in order to avoid the potential extinction of one’s own species.’“
I bet that Twilight read all about that. That mare loves books and shooting magic at things.
He went on, “This has several other implications. If other civilizations follow this policy, then it would be best to stay hidden, to avoid being encountered by them. And there may be many civilizations that we don’t know about because they’re hiding.“
“We suspect that the downfall of the Progenitors may have been due to otherworldly demons, but aren’t sure of it. How many of you know what those are?“
My face scrunches up. What the buck are those?
A few of my classmates raised their forelegs.
The professor frowned, and said, “That’s even fewer students than last year. I’ll write to Chancellor Neighsay again; we really need to raise educational standards for fillies and colts.“
He cleared his throat loudly and hit his forehoof against the lectern to get the class’s attention, then lectured, “Otherworldly demons can often be identified by using words, place names, and slang that nocreature else uses, such as ‘sus’, ‘human’, ‘anybody’, ‘internet’, or ‘rizz’.”
He animatedly went on lecturing, ”Otherworldly demons have arrived from a variety of different dimensions, and a few are very powerful. Only a few arrivals have heard of this hypothesis. If you suspect that you see an otherworldly demon or somecreature possessed by an otherworldly demon, then stay calm, act like everything’s normal, then leave, and quickly inform the local Secret Monster Intelligence League of Equestria office or a mature alicorn Princess, if you suspect that you saw one. That way, responsible ponies can figure out their goals, and level of danger. Then, they can coexist with them, figure out how to send them back to their dimension, or deal with them.”
They sound terrifying! Is the real Pinkie Pie an otherworldly demon? Also, I better keep quiet for the rest of this class, so that nocreature thinks I’m ‘sus’ despite my ‘rizz’. Am I even using those words correctly? Wait, I shouldn’t use those words at all!
The professor asked, “Before I continue, does anycreature have any questions?“
“Is Lyra an otherworldly demon?”, one mare asked.
The professor smiled and responded, “No, she’s just that weird. But a S.M.I.L.E. agent checks on her frequently, just in case she gets possessed by one without anypony noticing.”
I start quietly taking notes of the rest of the lecture, while sketching funny pictures in my notebook.