//------------------------------//
// Life Lesson 
// Story: Within You 
// by Boopy Doopy 
//------------------------------//

The lizard thing– Discord, I knew– made a point of ignoring me, annoyingly enough.
Twilight glanced at our approaching group, but must have assumed that we were going to walk past her because she didn’t give us more than that. Instead, she turned to talk to the lizard thing with her friends. I saw Discord glance at me, but he, too, remained silent. Hopefully that wouldn’t stay that way for long.
“Can you explain what the heck that was all about?” I asked, interrupting Twilight as I sent my look up at the snake-lizard. I, of course, was naive enough to think he would answer me, or even look at me when I asked my question. I wasn’t that surprised though when I was ignored. Same old, same old, even if it was the first time in years I had to deal with this again.
“I just don’t see how it wouldn’t be friendly if I changed the rain clouds into pillows of chocolate and made the rivers flow with icing,” he said, speaking to Twilight’s group of friends. “In fact, I would argue quite the opposite! I’m spreading happiness by doing such!”
“I mean, he’s got a point, you gotta admit, Twilight,” Pinkie Pie agreed. “Imagine what kind of party I could throw if there was a river of icing in Ponyville, and clouds of chocolate! It’d be the biggest one in Equestria!”
“As fun as that sounds, it’s not friendly when you consider that–”
“Discord,” I said again, interrupting the purple pony, to her annoyance. “Tell me what the heck that was all about. I know it was you.”
“See? Pinkie Pie agrees with me,” he said. “You’re not going to just deny her the opportunity to host the largest party Equestria has ever seen, will you?”
 I closed my eyes and took a breath to push down the anger over him intentionally ignoring me. I wasn’t going to scream– not yet anyway. Over the last ten years, staying calm when I was angry was a skill I learned. I’d give it a couple of more tries, and then I’d just go send a letter to Celestia instead. Answers were going to be something I was going to find. Hopefully.
“Asher, can you and your friends get out of here for now?” Twilight asked. “I’m kind of in the middle of something, and I don’t need you guys distracting us.”
“I want to talk to Discord,” I told the unicorn. “I know he was part of it, since he was in my dreams. I’m not that dumb. That was a whole lot of mess a few minutes ago that I want answers about.”
He didn’t turn, but the draconequus finally acknowledged me as he flicked an ear. “Twilight,” he started with a little tone in his voice. “Would you please tell that little filly in front of you that I’m under direct orders from the princess herself not to utter a word to her?”
“Why?” I jumped in, the book horse looking like she was actually about to tell me that. “You were talking to me in my dreams! Does that not count?”
“Twilight, please inform that little filly in front of you that my instructions for how I should interact with her were given just this morning.”
“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked. “Seriously? Why put me through that…” I wanted to curse again, but held myself back, and closed my eyes. It had been… what? Ten years or so in Earth time since stuff like this happened? Why again so out of the blue was it coming up? I didn’t know, but I already hated it. That whole scenario significantly intensified the dysphoria I was doing my best to keep down. How many years had I built up the ability to ignore it?
Don’t get worked up, I told myself. Don’t stress out, and don’t yell at people. You need to keep being nice, in spite of… all of this. I seriously wanted to cry. This was extremely infuriating.
I held back from that though. “Discord,” I started again, more desperately. “Please. I know you did… whatever thing you did to turn me and Caramel into what we want to be. Can you please turn me into a stallion again? You kept her the same way!” It felt nothing but mean spirited to do something like that. It felt intentional.
“Twilight,” Discord started again, “please inform that little filly that, while I appreciate the unexpected politeness, I was informed by Princess Celestia strictly to not associate with her.”
Just stay calm. Just stay calm.
“But you were just associating with me by doing that!” I argued, still trying not to get worked up. “You’re associating with me right now by trying to talk to me through Twilight! I’m just asking for one thing! A thing you already did! Can’t you just do it again, please?”
“Twilight, please inform–”
“If Celestia asks,” I cut in, “I’ll tell her that I asked you to change me, okay?” I said. “Please, for everything, just do this for me? Please?” I didn't know if he knew exactly what I told Celestia, but I hoped he didn't. Nothing about this was making me feel any better about whatever hoof she had in this.
Don't get stressed out. Don't start yelling. That won't help anything.
To my surprise, the lizard-snake looked like he was actually considering it. He put a paw on his chin and looked up to the sky at nothing in particular, like he was lost at thought. Twilight shook her head and let out an annoyed huff of a breath, but I didn't care. This was important. I could actually feel my hope rising slightly.
“Hmm… I wasn't prepared for this,” Discord said, sounding thoughtful. “I thought you'd demand I'd change you to prove I'm a god or you'd run off to Celestia to complain again. I wasn't expecting you to be civil with me.”
Wait, what? “Why– why the heck would I ask you to prove that you're really a god?” I got out, an exasperated tone in my voice as I wore what was surely an incredulous look. What was going on? How deep did this all go? I might have been nervous by the thought, but I had doubts that he was one to begin with! I certainly wasn't going to be asking him to prove it. Heck, I wanted nothing less!
He dodged the question. No surprise. “Nothing, forget I even said anything,” he told me, waving a claw dismissively. “Although this does answer the question of whether you prefer being a mare or a stallion. Thank you, it's appreciated, more than you know.”
And what the heck did that matter, outside of my own discomfort? I didn't know, and didn't care to ask about it right then. “So then you'll turn me into a stallion?” I asked, heart rate picking up. “A human would be even better, or heck, going back to Earth in general, but being a stallion would–”
“No,” he interrupted now. “I don’t think I will. And before you ask, I’ll tell you why. As the Lord of Chaos and one of the Six Features that rule over this universe, I know when I should consider staying out of the activities of others. Certainly, I don't want to come face to face with whatever Feature unknown sent you here! I might have to introduce myself! And then Fluttershy will want me to make friends! And I say to that, neigh way, José!” He finished by putting on a Mexican looking sombrero and poofing a curly black mustache onto his face, shaking maracas in his hands.
So then I was being screwed with, a little bit anyway. How much, I couldn't say, but some amount. I still had a sneaking suspicion that he was just lying to cover for Princess Celestia, but I obviously couldn't be sure. I couldn't even know if I wanted him to be telling the truth. I had no idea what was going on.
God, is this meant to be a way to reawaken my faith? I wondered to myself. It felt like the worst way it could be done, but—
No, there is no ‘worst way’, Asher, I told myself. It just felt bad. More likely though, this lizard thing was just messing with me at Celestia's behest. But it would've been a little bit comforting to know it was true. It was reawakening all those old feelings I had about what I was doing here for the last… I didn't even know.
“Actually, I'm going to teach you a lesson while I do it, Ashely,” Discord continued. “For your own good. In the same way that I—wait, I can't say that yet, it's too soon. But anyhow!” The maracas disappeared as he waved a paw in the air, telling me, “You live in a world of opportunity, Asher! Waiting around and asking others to change things for you is quite lazy, if I do say so myself. And trust me, I am pretty lazy. The point being though, opportunity is something you can grab for yourself, without the help of others, rather than wasting away in sorrow wishing things would change.”
“Okay. So, yeah. I shouldn’t be surprised.” I had nothing else to say to that. If that wasn't a force fed line right from Celestia's mouth, I didn't know what was. I was lazy and waiting for things to change on their own? I didn't expect my body to change until it was shoved in my face out of the blue for no reason! And I was bad for asking for the quick solution to happen for once so far?
“Hey, Asher? Maybe we should go?” Silver Spoon said quietly, putting a hoof on my shoulder. I didn't waste time in taking her advice, and turned to follow behind her and the others. I couldn't remember the last time my blood was boiling like this.



“What the heck was that all about?” Twilight asked as she watched Asher stomp away angrily. The filly looked like she was about to tell the draconequus off, but held back instead. What was that even about to begin with? They spoke like they already knew each other.
“Okay, fine, I admit it,” Discord said halfheartedly, holding up his arms in a defensive shrug. “I may have gone into her dreams, but only as a little test for myself! I needed to see if what she believes is true! You could say I’m doing important scientific research, just like you’re so fond of, Twilight Sparkle!” He snapped his fingers and poofed up lab equipment that floated in the air, along with a white lab coat and goggles for himself.
None except Pinkie Pie look particularly happy by that. Lightning Dust and Rarity both shared a look while Twilight stomped a hoof against the ground, more frustrated than she was angry.
“Well, I'll have you know, in Equestria, we don't call people that we don't know lazy,” she reprimanded firmly. “We also don't turn the ground into chocolate syrup and the clouds into cotton candy, or change ponies into other creatures they don't wanna be! And we certainly don't enter their dreams without permission unless they have royal authority from the princesses!”
“Ah, of course! I see!” Discord exclaimed, giving off faux misunderstanding. “I thought those were acceptable things to do here amongst you ponies! I only wanted to be like the princesses, radiating kindness and peace wherever they—”
“Ya know,” Big Mac interrupted. “We can tell when yer bein’ sarcastic like,” he said.
“Huh, I didn't believe earth ponies could tell anything,” Discord muttered. “I thought you were all useless laborers.”
Now Fluttershy gave him a stern glare. “Discord, that's not very nice,” she told him, no differently than a stern parent. “Just look. You made Asher cry.” All turned to see the gray pony a few hundred feet away now, putting her head in her hooves while each of her friends offered a hug to her.
“I'll admit, I do feel a bit bad about that,” the draconequus commented. “But it's for her own good, I tell you, just like it's for Equestria’s own good that I turn every river in the country into a stream of cherry soda!” He snapped his fingers, and a nearby creek turned bright red and fizzy.
Twilight could only roll her eyes. This was going to be fun, wasn't it?