Lightening the Load

by Silent Bob


The Nameless Man

"It is the dim haze of mystery that adds enchantment to pursuit." - Antoine Rivarol

Every nerve in her body was frozen as she stood in the dark. She couldn't shiver, she couldn't even glare at whatever had caused this, all she could do was remain motionless. And then, as if he had been a part of it all along, a humanoid shape melded out of the black, walking towards her with slow, menacing steps. As he came closer, she began to make out the details of him, the most prominent among them being a fine, blue suit he wore with a tie he quickly straightened as if out of habit.

"My apologies if I am... interrupting something," he spoke, his sentence shattered in the middle. It was one of the things she would soon realize about this man; he had a habit of pausing in odd portions of his speech. "However, you'll find that I have a way of.." He smiled slightly. "Making time, you could say?"

He then straightened his tie once again, and suddenly she found herself not in a black void, but in the spawning chamber of her hive cluster. The room was wide, misty and damp, with a blue haze filling it like usual and obscuring the scattered green, glowing pools.

"I must say, there couldn't be a more interesting people chosen to host this event... the most unique quality of them being their food source."

With that, she found herself in yet another room; this one containing hundreds of stasis cocoons filled with creatures frozen in terror; ponies, zebras, gyphons, and more.

"It is an... unfortunate disposition for someone to be in, especially one with such a..." He leaned down towards her, her eyes gazing in terror at his cold, green ones as they pierced the very fiber of her being. "...mixed bag for a mind."

He then gave an amused chuckle.

"And it seems this limitation has led to you to another... unfortunate disposition, and like usual, one out of your control..." he said. "It's something I often feel sorry about placing my clients in..."

The background changed again, her again in a black void but with two more humanoid shapes inside what could be viewed as a technological version of her own stasis cocoons. One was wearing an orange suit of some kind with the letters 'HEV' upon it, and another wore what seemed to be a military uniform with a tag on it labeled 'Adrian Shephard.'

"You and I are so very much alike in so many ways," he said as what seemed to be an empathetic smile came upon him. "We both do what we need... to survive."

Chrysalis couldn't feel anymore numb at those words if she tried.

"Because of that, I thought It would be nice to have a little... heart to heart, as two people fighting the hand of fate. Perhaps it will help set your troubled mind at ease..."

And so the background changed once again. This time, Chrysalis was in another black void, though this one was laced by millions of stars. Floating within it were the two of them, with a massive, triangular looking object hovering a bit away; a ship of the heavens.

And suddenly, they were inside it, or so she presumed. She stood upon a metallic, gray floor, her gaze set upon a humanoid figure wearing a white uniform and a blue complexion for skin. He stood frozen and motionless, pointing at another humanoid with a gray, finely pressed uniform as if he were in the midst of giving an order. In back of him were a number of windows showing showing the black, starry void, and surrounding him were a number strange looking rectangular machines being worked upon by a number of other gray-uniformed humanoids. This must have been the bridge.

"Admiral Thrawn..." the man explained. "Is thoroughly in my pocket. I have given him certain... incentives to keep his loyalties towards me and me alone..."

An image flashed of another humanoid's upper-body, this one wearing a black cloak partially hiding an old, saggy, face. However, his yellow, putrid eyes spoke of many other things besides senility.

"And not any other master during this next week or so..."

They then stood in a large, grassy field with great mountains in the background. A man wearing what looked to be the humanoid version of chain-mail armor was currently swinging a sword down upon the neck of a hideous, orcish creature. He too stood motionless in time.

"And he is not the only asset I've managed to..." He smiled in pride. "Acquire...." He then turned his gaze upon the man. "He may not seem like much, but I've come to realize that the right man... in the wrong place... can make all the difference in the world."

With that, he turned back towards Chrysalis as the scene faded to black once again. "Your people will remain safe under my watch, my dear. Call it a businessman's word." He lifted a finger. "Though unfortunately, my gaze is frequently averted. Therefore, it would be in your best interest to always keep an eye on the back of your head." His voice deepened in tone. "Because some dancing partners have two left feet."

An image flashed of... something... standing within a field of fire, though she couldn't make out what.

At that, the suited man knelt down to pop open a briefcase he held, acquiring a few sheets of paper with an archaic style of writing upon them. "Here is what I was sent to bring you." He then gave her a smile. "May you have a..."

He chuckled in amusement, straightening his tie.

"Fun time..."

With that, he turned and began to walk into the black.

"I will see you again soon, most likely. However, for now I have other... business to attend to. There is a certain world that requires the work of one of my clients."

An image of the man wearing the orange suit flashed in front of her.

The suited man gave her a smirk over his shoulder after it dissipated. "Though luckily for you, the uninvited guests of that world's party are very... far away."

With that, she gasped for breath as she found herself in the familiarity of her quarters in normal time, a haunted look upon her as she began to shiver uncontrollably.

"-more," Pinkie finished, suddenly gazing at Chrysalis in shock.

"My queen!" Sarius said, quickly moving towards her. "Are you alright?!"

Chrysalis let loose a deep, haunted breath, the memories of her encounter with the suited man flooding her mind. She felt like she was about to hyperventilate.

"S-Should we get her a doctor?!" Pinkie squeaked.

"Y-Yeah!" Sarius said, his voice in shambled. "Hang on, I'll go get someone!"

With that, Sarius turned to book it towards the quarter's entrance, though he was stopped in his tracks at the last second.

"W-Wait!" Chrysalis said, her voice finally returning to her, the feeling of extreme anxiety starting to dissipate. "I'll be alright... just give me a second."

"Are you sure?" Pinkie asked, concern lacing her words.

"Yes... I just need to breath..." she said, doing just that and taking a deep breath. "I think I just met the Nameless Man..."

"You look like you've just met the King of Tartarus..." Sarius said.

Chrysalis let loose a shiver, taking another deep, haunted breath. "I'd rather it be that than meet this new... benefactor of mine in the same fashion again."

She never had felt so out of control in her life, and being out of control was something she was quite used to. It was almost like she had been violated in a way. It was simply... indescribable. However, the most curious thing about the whole encounter was how it actually left her with a bit of... assurance. Having such a powerful being looking after her was not something to take for granted, though if his words could be trusted were anyone's guess.

At that, she noticed the sheets of paper the man had pulled out of his briefcase were sitting in front of her.

"Is that.. the guest list?" Pinkie asked, her tone of worry submitting to curiosity.

"I didn't even notice that until a second ago," Chrysalis sighed, finally composing herself. "Well, I guess we should have a look."

With that, she magically levitated the papers before her eyes, gazing upon the formal, ancient looking, but very readable text that was before her. Her eyes scrolled down the length of the paper, them widening in surprise at times.

"Hmmm... this is pretty interesting."

"What's on there?" Sarius asked.

"Oh, what you'd expect, and some of which of what you wouldn't."

Pinkie and Sarius raised an eyebrow.

"Alright, I'll read a few:

Name: 'Invader' Zim.
Current Whereabouts: Planet Earth, Dimension 54-143.
Homeland: Planet Irk, Spittle Province, same dimension.
Species: Irken
Description: A technical genius and soldier of the Irken military. Currently on a fool's errand to create anarchy on this dimension's Earth. Severly lacking in common sense."

"So wait.. he's an alien among bunch of aliens, it seems," Sarius said. "Uhhh.. and lacking in common sense? I guess that means he's got book smarts but not anything else."

"Hmmmm... a soldier though, huh?" Pinkie said, the gears in her head beginning to turn. "Go on, who else is on the list?"

With that, Chrysalis nodded and continued:

"Name: Dr. Horrible.
Current Whereabouts: Planet Earth, Dimension 54-32.
Homeland: United States, same planet, same dimension.
Species: Human
Description: Technical genius. PHD in horribleness. Wishes to better humanity by creating an autocratic anarchy stat-" Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. "Wait what? How can you have anarchy and order at the same time? Is this some sort of joke?"

Sarius and Pinkie shrugged.

"Wait, he's on Earth too?" Pinkie said.

Chrysalis nodded, gazing over the list. "Yeah, there seems to be a lot of people from coming from there... I don't know what's so special about the place."

"Good health care?" Sarius added, Pinkie and Chrysalis giving him a blank look. He simpered at that. "Yeah, not one of my best ones. Just not feelin' the joking mojo today."

"Don't worry!" Pinkie said, smiling slightly. "It happens from time to time. Eating a lot of sugar helps for me!"

"Heh, but we both have two types of humor though," Sarius said. "You got the whole goofy thing going on while I do more smartassy kind of stuff."

Pinkie winked. "Oh trust me, I know. Still, I have some cupcakes for later!"

"Do you two want me to read this list or not?" Chrysalis groaned.

With that, the two frowned shamefully. "Sorry..."

"Alright, next up is...

Name: Sarah Kerrigan
Current Whereabouts: Planet Char, Dimension 12-243.
Homeland: Tarsonis, Terran Confederacy Dominion, same dimension.
Species: Human Zerg
Description: Tactical, strategical, and manipulative genius. 'The Queen Bitch of the Universe.' A former slave to the Zerg Overmind, she is currently tending to the Zerg Swarm. Psionic powers beyond comprehension."

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow at that. There was a note written in another person's handwriting following the description:

"Treat this guest with extreme caution. Be sure the psionic nullifiers work on her. Keep her away from Arcturus Mengsk if at all possible or there will be trouble."

She squinted in thought. Who had added this note? Was it possible the Nameless Man was giving her a helping hand?

"Psionic wah-?" Sarius said.

"It might mean she's psychic or something," Pinkie said. "Something like my Pinkie sense?"

Sarius and Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. "Your what?"

"Oh, it's just these feelings I get from time to time that let me predict future events. Twitchy tail for instance means something's about to fall!"

With that, her tail promptly twitched as she sneezed.

"Oh crap!" Sarius said, covering his head. "Is one of us about to be hit by something?!"

"Nope!" she beamed. "I sneezed at the same time! That means a snarky comment is about to be made!"

"You know, if it was coming out of anyone else's mouth but yours Pinkie, I wouldn't believe it..." Chrysalis grunted.

"Wow, it really works!" Sarius said, Pinkie smiling at that.

"Hmmm..." Chrysalis mused, reading over Kerrigan's description again. "It says I should keep her away from Arcturus Mengsk." She then sighed slightly. "Great, this means that some people might have personal grudges here... just what I need. I probably should have seen this coming."

"Well, maybe there will be so many people here they won't run into each other?" Pinkie mused.

Chrysalis raised her eyebrows, nodding in agreement. "That's actually possible. It seems this list is over one hundred fifty people long... then again that might not be enough."

"We're going to have to buy a lot of complimentary fruit baskets..." Sarius groaned.

Chrysalis rolled her eyes before continuing:

"Name: Ursarkar E. Creed. Note: Not the rock star turned office worker of dimension 23-143. He's not getting an invitation; I don't care what the Master says.
Current Whereabouts: Planet Cadia, Imperial Fortress World, Dimension 234-154.
Homeland: Same planet, same dimension.
Species: Human
Description: Current Commander of all imperial forces on Cadia, as well as its governor. Tactical and strategical genius. He has brought countless victories against the forces of a demonic race known as the Chaos Marines, and plans to fight them until their ultimate defeat."

Again, there was a note in a different handwriting:

"This one might be trustworthy."

"I guess that means he's not so bad?" Pinkie mused, scratching her head. "Another soldier though... hmmm..."

"What do you have in mind?" Chrysalis said.

"Eh... I'll need to think about it a bit more. Keep on going, Chryssy! The wheels are turning!"

With that, Chrysalis nodded again.

"Name: Sylvanus Windrunner
Current Whereabouts: Undercity, Eastern Kingdoms, Azeroth, Dimension 234-634
Homeland: Quel'Thalas, same planet, same dimension.
Species: High Elf Forsaken
Description: Former elven ranger of the Alliance turned undead. However, she eventually found freedom upon her former master's diminished power. Currently leads her fellow free undead, now called the Forsaken. Her skill in archery and dark magic is unmatched."

Another note:

"Don't trust this one. She may come off as sympathetic, but her current track record can... raise a few eyebrows, you could say."

"Undead, as in... zombies?" Pinkie said, her voice filled with a bit of fright.

"That's what it says," Chrysalis said. "I don't think they're the type of zombies you see in movies though, kid."

"She's still not sleeping in my stasis pod room... I like my brain, thank you," Sarius said.

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "I doubt she eats brains, and since when did you watch zombie flicks, Sarius?"

"Eh, some civilian brought back an old film projector and a few movies after he was done feeding in Equestria. Left it in one of the rec rooms."

"Popcorn and movie night!" Pinkie beamed.

"Mmmm... maybe once my people warm up to you a little more, Pinkie," Chrysalis said.

She then began to read over the list more... eventually stumbling upon something that shocked her to the core.

"Wait a minute, what is this?!"

"Huh? What do you see?"

"No, it can't be possible..." Chrysalis chuckled in an exasperated manner. "She's an Element! There's no way!"

"Say wah?!" Pinkie said, her eyes going wide.

"It must be another stupid joke..."

"Just tell us what it is already!" Sarius grunted.

With that, Chrysalis took a deep breath before incredulously reading off a single name:

"Rainbow Dash."