//------------------------------// // Unicorn College Convention pt. 2 // Story: Source Code // by Nugget27 //------------------------------// I took a seat at my booth next to Celestia. Seeing as the two of us basically publicly announced our relationship, she decided to hangout around me most of the first day. Right now, I was just sitting around, waiting for somepony to walk up, and then try to sell them a textbook of Python. I made sure to make sure you couldn’t just make a copy of it using any spells, by putting as many anti-copying enchants on each copy as possible, for when I end up selling even more copies later in the year. So far… uh, only a small amount of ponies showed up at my booth. Yeah, a really tiny amount. “I’d like another copy of Python!” Twilight said, at the front of the line of several dozen ponies who were probably just trying to meet me. “But you already have a copy that I mailed to you…” I said, looking a bit defeated. She was arguing this point for a good five minutes as to why she wanted a second copy. Until she ended up coming up with a very good point. “That is my personal copy, something that I will probably cherish forever! The copy I want to buy will be for the library’s catalog. For the public to use! I’ll pay extra if I have to!” “...How about a discount?” “No, you put in way too much work into developing this! And I’ve read through the textbook. The way you explain everything and how it works is so good! It’s so simple, yet not condescending! Anypony, even a non-unicorn can pick it up and learn Python really easily with this! You clearly spent a lot of time on just the textbook alone, excluding all of the time spent coming up with Runes and spells! Let me pay you money!” Twilight handed me over a hundred bits, when my textbooks were only eighty per book. I stared at the bag for a moment, before Twilight gave me a bright smile that made me want to say yes. It was that face that every, single, fucking mare is capable of. And I’m not even a pony at heart, yet it still thoroughly worked on me. Any stallion that laid eyes upon usually became emotional puddy and let the mare that used this weapon on them to do whatever they want… within reason. Usually if the mare is a piece of shit, this doesn’t work. However, Twilight is actually somewhat adorable, so when she did this, I nodded and let her take a book. Never before did I think I would be so against selling a product I made, but I didn’t want to damn near a hundred and fifty bits for a fucking book! Twilight put some more bits on the table, took her newly acquired textbook, presumably to her library. She teleported away, and teleported back to sit beside me while Celestia sat on the other side of me. I chuckled nervously as I realized that I was currently the center of attention of a couple dozen unicorns, and that was the only ones I could see. “Howdy,” I said, trying to keep my nerves under control. It didn’t work very well, but it did well. The next unicorn in line was… actually one of the professors, the one from Filydephia, who was actually pretty damn young for a professor. I think the average age for a professor was around fifty to seventy years old, yet this lady looked around thirty or so at the oldest, or about ten years older than Twilight, and Twilight was about a year or two older than my shitty body was. The mare sat down in front of me with a look not too dissimilar to the look Twilight got when she got excited about something. Starbright was a bright, yellow mare with a nicely orange mane and tail that looked very pleasant on the eyes. She wasn’t Celestia, so she didn’t get to be ‘prettiest mare I’ve ever seen’ prize, because she wasn’t my marefriend, and my marefriend is, and will always be the prettiest mare I’ve ever seen. Adorning her flanks… was a carrot. “Hello! I’m Starbright, it’s nice to meet you!” the mare reached over the table, and I felt my hoof, that I had folded on the table like a human, it looked weird to Twilight, since she hasn’t gotten to spend much time with me after she moved to Ponyville, but Celestia told her it was a normal occurrence for me to sit like I was still human, even if my posture was awful because of this. I shook and found my anxiety quickly killed itself upon seeing how happy somepony was to just meet me. “Hello Starbright, you’re from Fillydelphia, right?” I asked. “Of course!” She sounds like somebody from Philadelphia, but whatever. “I’m so happy to finally get the chance to speak with you. Celestia didn’t say much, but when we heard that she was taking on another student, I knew I had to meet you. And a stallion no less…” Her smile was so damn bright that I think she was trying to hit on me, but she seemed pretty eccentric, so I chalked that up to her just being excited. “I heard you came up with another magical system, and I was hoping to buy a textbook to teach it to some of my… less gifted students. It would help them out so much!” “Eighty bits per textbook.” Her smile was actually starting to get creepy. Nopony smiles for that long except Celestia, and it’s usually a fake, serene one that Celly usually wears while out in public. This smile was huge, toothy, and started looking faker by the minute. “Perhaps… you give it to me for free? You did it for Twilight Sparkle just now… My student said you two were dating after all. Perhaps if I treated you to a nice dinner, you could-” Oh. She is trying to swindle me. “Aha! So you're teaching that stallion that was creeping on Twilight, staring at her flanks and lady bits!” Twilight started blushing at how blunt I was. The mare’s smile cracked just a little bit. “But uh, yeah no, Twilight and I aren’t dating. I’m not exactly from Equestria, and where I’m from, it’s very uncommon for a stallion to be dating more than one mare. And… my marefriend,” I nuzzled Celestia. “Is sitting right beside me. That is a lot more of a spine than what I’d expect from any pony though; many would immediately try to stop hitting on me as soon as they found out that I’m dating the Princess.  “So seeing you try and flirt with me right in front of Celly is a pleasant surprise. However, I can feel Celestia getting warmer, a lot warmer. I don’t think she’s excited about seeing somepony trying to openly flirt with me, especially for their own personal gain. There’s many things my marefriend is, and she’s usually not jealous. Nah, she’s just pissed at you.” I think only then did Starbright realize what she was doing, before ignoring any sense of self preservation that she may have had. “Just give me a textbook, you stupid mustang! It’s probably bogus anyways and-” “Whoa lady, I would hold it if I were you. You already said a slur. Just pay the bits, apparently eighty bits is still on the cheaper side for magical textbooks. That’s ignoring enchantment costs, that I made myself using the very magical system that’s contained within these textbooks, so that it is literally impossible to copy or duplicate through normal spells. And even then, they’re smartly enchanted; if it senses somepony trying to pirate its contents, it will set itself on fire and come straight back to me. Celestia told me that a textbook like that with all the enchants is damn near two hundred bits; this is still a bargain.” I felt Celestia go from ‘warmer’ to almost ‘uncomfortably hot’.  I don’t think Celestia was happy about this hoe calling me a slur. “Here’s a discount just to get your stupid arse outta here. Thirty bits; what I was originally going to sell all these for.” “Fine!” She threw the bits at my face, which kinda hurt since they were literal golden coins, before catching them with my magic before they had the chance to scatter everywhere. “Now what else can I do for you? A hoof massage, a carrot? Perhaps a carrot will help you calm down and quit being a bitch!” I singsonged. I honestly wasn’t even mad, I didn’t even care. I was a tired, stupid college student that just found a way to make bits in a way that didn’t involve starring in a porn because you’re an unpaid intern. I side eyed Celestia and then Twilight, both of whom looked about ready to snap this bitch’s neck. “What did you just say?” Her eyes were twitching. “Mrs. Starbright,” Celestia said very slowly and calmly, despite how hot she was. Everypony that was in line was staring wide eyed at Starbright, and had been after she had called me a mustang. “While I appreciate you attempting to support my student’s endeavors, I believe you should leave. As a teacher, I am beyond angered that somepony called my student’s work a load of horse dung. As a Princess, I am angry and could have you arrested for assaulting one of my little ponies right in front of me. As Source’s marefriend, I want to burn down everything and everyone you ever knew or loved for hitting my coltfriend. So, please take your heavily discounted textbook before I lose my patience. I can tell that my star pupil is less than thrilled to see one of her peers being assaulted either, and she has far less self control than I do.” Only then did Starbright give the mares on both my sides an actual look. Rainbow Dash was sitting off to the side to try and talk with Twilight whenever she could, who was even more ready to jump the bitch, but was being held down by the aforementioned unicorn. Celestia genuinely looked ready to use Solar Beam on the mare, and Twilight was about ready to let go of Rainbow’s tail and join in on beating the ever living crap out of Starbright. The mare slowly shrunk back, grabbed her newly acquired copy of Python: Everything You Need to Know, and started running while feeling the glares of everypony in the crowd. “Well, holy shit,” I said, leaning into Celestia’s still burning side. “Seeing you get mad like that was sexy, just lettin’ you know, Celly.” Celestia became comfortably warm, and was now just blushing, instead of angrily glaring at the bitch that ran off. After that whole Starbright debacle, a lot more of the ponies in the crowd were way nicer to me. Either it was because they felt bad about me literally being hit in the face, or because they were just scared of Celestia. Or Twilight, Twilight could probably kick the asses of most of these ponies through sheer power alone. Most of them were just genuinely happy to meet me, some were excited to get their hooves on a copy of Python, and soon, all ten copies that I had were gone. The main comments were the same as Twilight’s, easy to understand, helpful, and pretty well made. “So you’re Celestia’s coltfriend?” One of the younger students, from Baltimare, asked. In fact, they were a foal, probably around fifteen years old, and a filly. Yes, she was adorable, yes, my human brain wanted to poke her nose, but I refrained. It took a lot out of me, but I managed to not poke a filly on the nose with my hoof and go ‘boop!’ “Yes I am.” “How did you… manage to land her? No offense, mister, but you’re not very attractive.” Ow. My pride. Me and Celestia locked eyes for a second, before I decided to open my mouth. “Fuck if I know,” I shrugged. “I was part of a magical accident, and some guards came and collected me. In fact, I had a magical accident here in Ponyville, and the Guard found me and took me to Canterlot Castle’s Infirmary. Celestia came by to check in on me and the two of us started talking. I didn’t exactly… treat her like the princess that she is, and she actually liked that for some reason. I called her Sunbutt because I couldn’t say her name properly without fucking it up, and… then she took me out to a cafe, and then we started dating some time after that.” “Source Code, like many stallions, is a bit dense. Don’t tell anypony this, but I wore makeup for our first date at a tiny little cafe in Canterlot. For some reason, he didn’t notice, and then proceeded to wonder why I had makeup on to begin with!” “...I kinda never noticed the makeup, Celly. You straight up don’t need it. Yeah, I’m an idiot, but I’m your idiot, aren’t I?” “That you are!” “That is the first time I think I’ve seen you break character in public, Celestia,” the old, angry looking dude, that was the angry looking professor from the same school the filly was from. “If that stallion managed to make you drop the Princess act, then perhaps he is at least something.” “Yeah, I call her Sun Butt and stare at her butt when she isn’t looking. Then get embarrassed when she teases me about it, and then bumps me with said lovely butt.” “Source! We agreed to not talk about the time I knocked you off your hooves with my flanks!” Everypony stopped and stared at Celestia after she had accidentally shouted that. “Uh…” “Hey everypony, quit staring at my marefriend, or I will get the wrong idea!” I shouted. That got everypony to go back to their usual business, while the angry looking old dude started chuckling.  “Oh, dear, Princess, I think Source Code may be a bad influence on you!”  “...This is the first time I’ve seen anypony act like Celly’s grandpa, are you secretly a trillion years old?” I asked. “No, but at one point, my grandson did date Princess Celestia, with a mare as old as her, she has had many, many coltfriends in the time that she's been alive…” Both Celly and the old dude sighed. “She requested that I treat her like she was my granddaughter… unfortunately, my grandson passed away during a particularly bad winter from a really bad disease, but myself and Celestia still remain somewhat close. I like to check in with her at these little conventions once a year, and sometimes write to her and she usually responds." “...Huh.” I nodded. “Well, nice meeting you, my man. And… uh, sorry about hearing about that-” “Oh think nothing of it… It hurts, but it wasn’t like you were the reason my grandson passed away. You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.” We both shook hooves and kept on chatting after that. Surprisingly, despite him looking constantly angry and being a little judgy, he was genuinely just making sure that I was a good fit for Celestia, and quickly decided that I was a good fit for Celestia after I made her shout about bumping me with her booty a little too hard. The dude’s name was actually Scripted, and had some serious proficiency in enchanting.  “You know,” he said. We had long since moved from my booth since I just gave up on that after I sold out of copies of my Python textbook. I quickly whipped one up, which showed that I could just create them, but I didn’t wanna sell more than ten, for Scripted. “I was critical at first, but after testing the enchants on here… these enchants are like nothing else; its Runes are so similar to the basic Rune based spells that most ponies use, if they learn spells at all, yet so different.” Tale said, looking through the book. “You really…” “Wanted to make sure nopony could copy my work and sell it as their own shit. Try copying it with a spell.” Scripted did as told, and the textbook lit itself on fire and burnt into ashes, before I pulled the exact copy out from under the table and handed it back over to the old stallion. “Pretty cool, huh?” “...That…” “The textbook even says how to do that… though it doesn’t say how to bypass the enchants, because either you have to be Twilight and bruteforce it with magic, or you’re fucked. And even then, if it senses that somepony was trying to bypass the enchants on it in any way, it will literally burn in their hooves and turn to ash, or end up back in my hooves.” Scripted nodded, before taking the copy and putting in his saddlebag. The filly that was with him was busy sharing gossip with Celestia, who was happily sharing her own gossip about who Luna was possibly seeing.  We both blinked a couple times.  “Mares.” “Women.” We both blinked. “What’s ‘women?’”  “A name for a female creature doesn't really specify what. It’s a thing from my homeland; there were… a lot of different creatures where I’m from.” Scripted accepted that before we just sat, contented to watch Celestia and his student gossip like grade school students. The next day, I woke up and began rubbing my temples as soon as I realized what would be happening today. It was going to be a magical competition, luckily, it wasn’t the part that involved combat, that was for tomorrow, but it was also a bad thing that it wasn’t the thing that involved combat. Trixie was competing this year, and she was a showmare at heart, so she was going to do well. The Royal Guard’s School for Gifted Unicorns were going to not do well at all; their whole thing is literally combat, but Shining Armor isn’t a slouch when it comes to regular magic; he is Twilight’s brother after all. Speaking of Twilight, she’s competing, and she’s insanely talented at magic, so my work was cut out for me already. The winner would get a nice, big trophy, and a ribbon, but besides that, it was mainly for fun. Occasionally there was a small prize in bits, or just a Celestia plushie, because those exist, I guess. Lucky me, everypony here is definitely going to be better at magic than I am on a scale of pure power, which is actually a competition(it was more like a fun carnival game that happened yesterday) and everypony basically knew how much weaker I was than even some of the foals at the convention. I sat up with a groan and slipped on my trench coat while Celestia put her regalia on after she had brushed her mane. “Oh come now, Source, I’m sure you’ll do fine. Nopony is going to judge you when it comes to the competition.” “I dunno, Celly, some ponies might. Given… my background and education that focused more on the results than the work put in, I don’t feel too good about how this is gonna go. I know it’s all for fun, but I know I’m probably only going to do well during the combat competition tomorrow, and even then, Shining Armor will break my ass and show me inside of a trashcan once he’s done with me; he does it when we’re sparring.” “But that is while you’re sparring. During the competition tomorrow, you can go all out if you wish; the enchantments that will be placed on everypony will gauge if a hit is fatal or not, and will remove anypony from the arena, and there are two events for it. One is a bunch of magical duels, and another is like a free for all…” “Oh. I might be able to win the free for all. I’ve got a strategy for winning that.” “Why are you putting your trench coat on?” “If I’m gonna lose in the next few magical competitions, I might as well do it with style.” I lifted my hoof and lit my horn. Soon, it was replaced with a griffin talon. “I figured out how to change the shape of my body recently, and made a spell with Python Plus. I think it might give me a fighting chance against some of the ponies here.” “It… probably will. If you grow wings with that spell, it may be a funny way to throw the competition.” “Oh yeah, make everypony think that Celestia’s new coltfriend is also an alicorn prince. That won’t make everypony here shit themselves.” “But it would be funny.” “No, bad Trollestia, come back when we prank Luna on her birthday.” “Fine,” Trollestia said before sighing. “I suppose I will behave myself until then. Perhaps we can turn Luna into a foal using a spell and baby her the whole time?” “Luna may like that; I know she adores you. She is still trying to bring you an edible breakfast to your bedside every morning.” “And I try to eat it, even if I know it wouldn't be edible.” “And it’s adorable…” I point out. “Seriously, how did Luna become Nightmare Moon again? She’s a huge dork.” “...Try being demonized everyday, and your only source of protection doesn’t do anything to stop it.” Celestia drooped slightly. “That’s how.” “I know… Luna told me. Did she tell you it happened?” Celestia shook her head. “How would you know if she was being demonized then?” “I… Don’t know.” “Don’t beat yourself up over it. Both you and Luna fucked up, but you’re both sisters at the end of the day, Luna adores you, and I know you’d probably kill for a week of just waking up with Luna snuggled up under your wings instead of me. It may not be able to happen often, but my point still stands; you two love each other despite what happened.” “You’re right. Thank you, Source. I still blame myself-” “No blaming yourself, everypony had a hand in Nightmare Moon, not you alone.” We kissed, and I nuzzled her right after. “C’mon, you and Luna are going to be judges for the competition. Y’all’ll get to watch me make a fool of myself and pass out on stage.” “That… Is a good point. Perhaps you’ll dive under my wing for protection?” “That’s if I lose to a filly. If I lose to a filly, I will hide like the little shit that I am.” Celestia giggled. “I doubt you’ll lose that badly.” I was up after Trixie, who was the second to last performance of the competition. I watched all the flashy colors and all the fancy little spells that I was surprised to find out that the showmare knew. Like the showoff she was, she was wearing her showmare outfit, as in the cape and hat, not a showgirl outfit. As her horn lit up, flowers slowly started falling like breaths, it was almost like Twilight’s performance, though flashier and with less objects. Soon, wisps of magic raised up and formed into Triixie’s cutie mark, before the flowers landed on the ground. There was a moment of silence before the crowd, which was mostly made up of ponies from Ponyville, started cheering. I was a good sport about losing, so I started cheering too; it was a good performance. In fact, everypony here, even Shining Armor did extremely well, except me because I haven’t gone yet. Trixie started trotting off stage with a solid twenty eight points, the second highest in the whole damn thing. Twilight was in first, because she decided to show off and perform six spells at once, while building a house of cards and played chess(and won) against one of the judges that wasn’t Luna or Celestia. While making hundreds of flowers gently shower the crowd.  “Holy shit, I am going to fucking lose so damn badly.” “You’ll do fine, Source,” Twilight nuzzled me. “I know you apparently have something planned; you always seem to come up with new spells by the week.” “...No, I just find spells that already exist, convert them into Python somehow, and call it a day. I don’t think I’ve made an original spell besides DragonFire ever.” I sighed, realizing I can’t stay off stage forever. “Well, I’m gonna break a leg, Twi. See ya when I come back with a score of ten, because Celestia ended up paying more attention to my butt then the magic I was performing!” I skidded on stage and started wishing I had just walked off away from the convention and into the Everfree Forest, because there was a sea of ponies just staring up at me expectantly. Sitting in the judge stand at the very forefront of the crowd were four judges, Celestia, Luna, some dude from Stalliongrad, and the mayor of Ponyville. I took a deep breath before I began my performance. First, I teleported two trees into existence before promptly lighting them a blaze. From there I just started juggling them while I started writing something down in my journal. Once the trees were damn near ashes, I set my journal on the ground, before bursting into flames myself, and flying through the air with my fancy smancy fire spell, flying through the air, cutting right through both the flaming trees and disintegrating ash before it could make the crowd, and by extension, the judges, not very happy about being covered in ash. Celestia watched on in wonder, since she seemed to love anything that I did, while Luna actually looked kinda impressed. I landed on the ground as the flames disappeared, but I had used a transmutation spell to turn myself into an owl, the feathers were the same color and my fur, just with the colors of my mane and tail mixed in for good measure, with the head of a unicorn(so that I could still turn myself back into a pony),  “Hooo, hoo go there?” I asked hauntingly. “DAMN FOALS EGGED ME HOUSE AGAIN!” I yelled. The whole crowd was mostly in shock, even Twilight, because I was now an owl. I transmuted myself back into a pony before glancing at my sides. “Whoops! I forgot the wings, hold on. Wait, that means I can fly!” I started flying with the use of levitation to keep myself afloat(since I didn’t have any clue how to actually fly) before landing back on the ground with a bow, and getting rid of the wings. Of course, I didn’t exactly stick the landing(because I totally meant to) and fell face first into the stage, my ass high in the air as I tried to get off my face and back on my hooves. That elicited a chuckle out of the crowd, even if most of them were broken for some bizarre reason. “You’re… an alicorn?” The dude from stalliongrad asked. “No. I figured out how to mimic being one though; transmute into a thing with wings, don’t put the wings away when I turn back into a pony. It’s pretty cool.”’ “Are thou a changeling?’” Luna asked, by the glint in her eyes, I knew she knew I wasn’t, she just wanted to ask. I never heard of whatever a changeling is, so I just shrugged. “Uh… the fuck is that?” “Don’t worry about it then.” I actually got twenty six points and scored a nice, crisp third place for the whole competition, purely based on the face that I told the judges that I did everything with Python Plus, or the magical system I developed strictly for me and me alone, and because I did all of that with as little magic as I had, and did more than some of the ponies with four times my magic pool, to do the same thing. And teleporting trees, entire fucking trees from the Everfree Forest, was hard to do. I got a bronze medal for my troubles, Trixie got a small, silver trophy and medal, which she was more than happy about, and Twilight easily secured first place, a large, gold trophy, a blue ribbon and gold medal, and even a certificate saying she was the most magical pony of the year. Despite Trixie wanting to boo, to act like her stage persona, she was actually a surprisingly good sport about Twilight beating her. “Trixie will simply have to incorporate Python into her sequences next year; if it won Source third place, imagine what Trixie could do with it!” The three of us went and got ice cream, since the rest of the day was spent on resting and relaxing for those of us who partook in the magic show contest while the teachers had their turns. “I only won third because I literally grew wings and flew around for a little while,” I said, waving a dismissive hand. “Which all required my own system of magic to do, not just Python. In fact, Python is actually kinda limited because I had to make it for the masses. When developing it for specifically my use? I know how to optimize a spell specifically for me, and do well because of it. Meanwhile, Python is made for the masses; it’s meant to be a one size fits all, even if it may not fit the best to some ponies. You could literally kick my ass if I used regular Python, Trixie. And while that sounds like a stallion’s dream come true, if I used my own offshoot of Python, I could actually fight back. “Luckily, in the textbooks I was selling, I included a handy-dandy guide to tailoring Python specifically to anypony. They just have to spend a few weeks figuring out how much magic they’ve got and how much they need to optimize each spell… I even included a guide for making equations to help optimize it for whoever may use Python in the future.” “Wait a second,” Twilight pointed an accusatory hoof at me, which would’ve been scary if her cheeks weren’t covered in ice cream. “You made your own version of of your own fucking magic system and didn’t tell me?” “Yeah.” “YOU MADE THREE BUCKING MAGICAL SYSTEMS IN A YEAR AND ONE OF THEM WAS MEANT TO BE A PRANK!” She shouted.  “Yeah.” “How the ever living buck… Source, you’re good with magic in your own way, but I must ask why you decided to do that?” “The prank system was going to be given to you on Hearth’s Warming, and the other two were genuinely meant to be good; unfortunately, the prank one’s good for working on precision.” “I am going to bucking slap you in the face.” “If I turn my hooves into very dull talons and scratch your ears, would you reconsider hitting me in the face?” “...Why would that-” “Because ear scratches would probably feel good. I was going to experiment with it on Celly after we get back to our motel room for the day, but I could test it on you first if you want.” “Hmmm, I will try it-” Soon, Trixie asked for ear scratches after seeing how much Twilight was enjoying them. Soon, I was stuck where I was with two sleepy mares using my shoulders as pillows. I will admit, scratching other ponies’ ears satiated my desire to want to do it for so damn long, and I’m glad I got to do it. But now I literally can’t move. I can’t leave the pony pile I had accidentally put myself in. Celestia and Luna found me shortly after the teacher’s competition and Luna was simply sitting there with a smirk on her face. “Source, why are you cuddling with two mares? And why are your hooves in the shape of bird claws?” “Twilight was going to slap me in the face, and so I asked if she wanted to experiment with something. The experiment involved seeing if ear scratches were just as good, or better than having the inside of your ears licked. It was meant to only last about ten seconds, but Twilight literally used my shoulder as a pillow and told me to keep going. Trixie followed suit after seeing how happy Twilight was at the prospect of ear scratches… I found a way to scratch pony ears as a pony, and I am suffering from my success, Celly. Please help me; I’ve been stuck like this for three hours. And I don’t wanna move because Trixie snores like a kitten and Twilight looks so peaceful when she’s sleeping. However, my coat is covered in drool, I am covered in drool, and I want to go shower and possibly test how effective ear scratches are on you.” “I suppose you’ve learnt your lesson?” Celestia asked. “Don’t serve any mares that aren’t you because most of you ladies are crazy?” I said most for a reason. I don’t wanna sleep on the couch when we get back home. “Well, yes, but I am the only mare you are to pamper, Source. I am your marefriend, after all.” “Very good point, can you help me out please?” I gave her my best pitiful look, and I immediately saw the will for Celestia to let me sit and suffering from the snuggles of Twilight and Trixie melt away in milliseconds. Celestia carefully extracted me, before laying Trixie’s head on top of Twilight’s withers, and laid me across her own withers. “Thank you,” I whispered. “Am I relegated to riding on your back until tomorrow?” “Yes, yes you are. This way you can’t accidentally service other mares by scratching the insides of their ears. I have a few friends I would like to meet before the day turns out; then we shall head to our motel and you shall scratch the inside of my ears.” “Can I borrow your stallion as well, Tia? It has been a while since I’ve been groomed by one.” “Perhaps… meet us at mine and my coltfriend’s motel room and-” I wasn’t getting any say in this at all. I’m not complaining, but like… I would also like to have a word about this whole situation. Tia and Luna were literally discussing custody rights over me while they walked and talked about basically nothing. I feel like a child. I feel like a little kid watching his parents yell about divorce with how both of these alicorns were talking about custody over me.