//------------------------------// // Chapter 36: One Step Forward. // Story: A Demon's Second Chance // by Perfectly Insane //------------------------------// There wasn’t burning this time, neither was there that heart-clenching cold. Just like with the amulet, there was this dull nothingness that lingered in my soul, sapping away the determination.  Then, there was warmth.  Not heat, not searing, not any kind of sensation that’d come from a fire. More like water, really. It reminded me of when I first took a bath in Fluttershy’s cottage.  The sensation reached my throat, and I began to drown. With a coughing fit, I woke up, only to be surrounded by darkness once again. A lighter darkness, sparkled by a tint of blue as the moon began to fall and the sun took its place. Shining stood over me, more than just an outline now that I could make out some of his features. Most distinctly, the scowl of concentration that sat on his face.  “Hey, you’re finally awake. Good.” I slowly raised myself, once more expecting all the pain to hit me at once. It never came, nor did any sense of sensation at all.  I still couldn’t feel anything.  “You’re lucky I’m good at restoration; it’s the only thing I’ve got over my sister. Besides some real experience with the field medical training we got.” The light around his horn faded to nothingness as he stepped away, eyes scanning over my body before settling on my right leg. “You broke your foot, you had what I’m pretty certain is second-degree burns on your hip, and saying you lost a lot of blood doesn’t cover it. Like, you shouldn't be alive, let alone  conscious, amounts of blood.” I gave in to the urge to touch my face, bringing my hand to my cheek and running my finger down it. I could vaguely feel the sensation, so I was starting to get some back at least. The blood had somewhat dried and hardened, but was still kinda wet to the touch; like recently dried paint.  “You,” my voice didn’t sound quite right. Scratchy and dry, and hard to form my words properly without breaking into a coughing fit. “Saved me.” “Well, I don’t know if I’d say that. Here,” he reached into his hip-pouch, pulling out a waterskin and offering it to me. “You’re probably extremely dehydrated. Feel free to drink the rest of it.” I didn’t feel that thirsty at first. Then, as soon as the cold liquid touched my tongue, it was like divine nectar. The entire world failed to exist for a few precious seconds of me chugging the water, feeling every drop of it travel down my throat and into my stomach. When it was all gone, I let the waterskin fall to my lap as I breathed heavily,  finally hearing the tail end of what Shining was telling me. “...Basically, you were dead for a solid half-minute there.” “I was dead?” I placed my hand against my chest, waiting for that rhythmic thumping noise of my heart. After a few terse seconds, it was there; though not nearly as intense as it was when the amulet was on.  Maybe that was for the best.  “Did you not just listen to the explanation I gave?” I opened my mouth, only to be cut off with a sigh.  “Nevermind. Can you walk? That splint I gave you should let you get to your feet, at least. We need to get Chrysalis to Canterlot as soon as possible.” The ‘splint’ he was referring to were two pieces of oak wood strapped on both sides of my right leg with gauze, firm enough to hold it in place. It wasn’t bending anymore, so maybe I could put some weight on it? I glanced behind him, spotting Chrysalis prone on the ground. Her barely clipped wings were tied together with rope, and a small, black ring had been placed on her horn going all the way down to the base. Her hand was no longer bleeding, and was in fact reattached where I’d cut it off with hardly any blood showing it’d been sliced in the first place. The hand was held there by layers of gauze similar to the ones on my splint. I was tempted to look around for where the dismembered hand had landed to see whether she grew it back via changeling biology, or if Shining had reattached it and just…healed it. In all honestly, my understanding of what restoration could do was lacking considering it’s saved my life at least twice now.  “I think so.” My legs, particularly the right one, wobbled a bit more than usual as I stood up. I took a tentative few steps, nearly tripping on the first couple before realizing I had to half-limp and lean my weight to the left side of my body. If I did, I could walk well enough; though at a much shorter pace than usual.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Shining watching me with his horn lit, flinching every time I nearly tumbled onto the ground as his horn sparked.  I stood there for a moment, flexing my fingers with no real purpose in mind. There were occasional sensations that broke through: the sting of the cold air on my face, the slight throbbing in my right ankle, the odd heat radiating from my hip.  But no pain. There was, however, one burning question on my mind that was nigh painful to not have an answer to: If I’d died, why didn’t I reset? “Good. I’ll carry Chrysalis. We’re heading to Sugarcube Corner where Luna said to meet up once everything was settled, along the way you have an explanation you owe me about this amulet.” With his magic, he opened the hip-pouch and floated the amulet out, still slick with a layer of black blood. “I can’t sense any magic from it, which would mean the average unicorn couldn’t, either. So, I’d really like to know not just how Trixie knew what it was, but how you did.” I couldn’t answer that.  Not without telling him about the resets, at least. And that was a conversation I wasn’t prepared to have with anyone, less so someone I barely knew and who likely hated me. I brought my right hand to my necklace, receiving little comfort as its cold warmth hardly registered in my hands. Something on it did stick out in my vision, however. The crest was still there, faintly glowing in the dark and ticking down; borderline shrouded in the dark shadows of the night. I could use it to make him drop the subject, if I wanted. But that’d be a bad idea. Not only would he tell Luna and Cadance about it anyway, just as well any chance of him coming to trust me would be gone. Once more, I needed to tell the truth.  “I, um—” I tried to think of what I could say that wouldn’t be a lie, starting to move only to for a sharp pain to shoot up my side.  “You really didn’t hear me earlier, did you?” Shining tossed Chrysalis over his shoulder, keeping one arm on her and his other one free. “You can’t move too much or your wounds will open. I managed to keep you from dying, but you need actual medical attention. Or the second best thing: an alicorn’s healing. For now though, you can use me as support.” He outstretched his free arm, gesturing for me to lean on him.  Then, he bit his lip, retracting his arm and shaking his head. “Wait, ‘no physical contact’, my bad. Here.” His horn came to life once more as he summoned some sort of…floating rectangle? It hovered beside me, and was almost my height. “Lean on this, it’ll follow you until we get back to Ponyville. Luckily, I have these woods memorized, and we’re not that far out. First though,” he grunted, readjusting Chrysalis and turning away from me. “Where did you stash the anti-magic rocks? We need those to stifle any chance of the changelings getting their hands on them again. Just point in the direction and we can go from there.” With a bit of hesitation, I put my body against the wall, moving one step at a time as it followed me. Most of my weight was taken off my legs, making it more tolerable to walk without having to move the rest of my body. Like a moving wall, it came alongside me, hovering just above the grass and staying next to me no matter what.  My arm trembled a bit as I raised it, though it didn’t feel particularly weak.  “There. Straight ahead until there’s a fallen tree.” “Lets go then. I’d prefer to get to Canterlot before she wakes up.” Like before, Shining took the lead, walking at a slightly faster pace than me. I couldn’t tell if that was on purpose, or if Chrysalis really weighed that much. He was noticeably limping, leaning towards one side of his body more than the other. It was hard to notice, but impossible not to with nothing else to look at.  A few minutes of rigid silence went by as we entered the woods, before he cleared his throat, gesturing for me to explain.  “I…heard about Trixie from a friend of mine, Dark Moon, and what happened in Ponyville. I recognized her from his description, and,” ok, telling the truth so far. I gulped, scratching at my neck with my freehand despite no real sensation of itchiness. “Well, she really did me a favor once, I’d rather just not go into what that is; but I did owe her for it. Once she started talking, she told me about how the amulet would help her beat Twilight. So…” “You signed a contract with her to get her to give you the amulet.” Shining finished for me, relaxing his shoulders as he glanced at me. “What did you give her to make her do that?” “I promised her that Luna would,” I could see him tense up, ears flickering in my direction. “Meet her and consider taking her in as her student.” “What.” It wasn’t a shout. In fact, he didn’t raise his voice at all; speaking through gritted teeth and clenched jaws. Despite that, it carried this absolute stillness that stopped me where I was, trying to hide behind the wall like a child behind a curtain.  “You promised someone who endangered the entirety of Ponyville, and planned on taking revenge on not just an Element of Harmony, but my sister!” “She didn’—” “Didn’t what? She didn’t cause an Ursa Minor to attack Ponyville? She wasn’t going to use that amulet against Twilight?” I stayed quiet, muffling a whimper as I looked away. I could have defended Trixie, but to what end? I only knew pieces of the puzzle, not enough to make a solid case either way. Even if I could, everything I knew about Trixie’s side of the story came from my last reset. If I tried to defend her, he’d without a doubt press me and ask how I knew; which I couldn’t answer.  “Just,” his breathing calmed down with each second passed, until finally culminating into a single sharp inhale. “Tell me this: did you help her just because you owed her, or did you care about Twilight at all?” I’d have crossed my arms if I could, but one of them was preoccupied keeping me from falling over.  “Hm,” I rubbed my necklace, trying to ignore the growing aching in the left side of my leg. “Both. I didn’t want Twilight to get hurt either. It was the only way I could think of getting the amulet away from her. I’m sorry.” I didn’t mean to make my voice so disgustingly meek and small, but talking was proving to be a little more difficult with each sentence I tried to utter. Whether that was the dehydration, or my body was just exhausted from doing anything, I couldn’t tell.  Something about what I said, however, made Shining’s gaze soften. His eyebrows pulled away and his shoulders relaxed as his chest caved in.  “No, I’m sorry. Fuck.” I tried to hide my flinch, holding my breathe and pressing as much of my body against the wall as I could. If he noticed, I couldn’t tell.  “You’re trying to help. You were trying to help by getting that amulet, you were trying to help by coming back and fighting Chrysalis, even if it nearly killed you; and I’ve been nothing but a hard ass since we’ve met. Caddy was right, I can be a dick when the helmet’s on.” He said with a sigh as he reached up with his free hand, undoing the clasp around his neck and holding his helmet under his arm. “Look, if it wasn’t for you changelings would have attacked Ponyville, and i…might have died in that fight back there. So thanks.” He put the helmet back on, turning around on beginning our trek in the same direction.  “But I can’t help you with Trixie or Princess Luna, that’s out of my ballpark; I’d have to roll a nat 20 for any chance.” “A…” I raised an eyebrow. “Nat 20?” “Oh, you don’t play? I would’ve thought with Brash as one of your guards, she would’ve introduced you to—” With no warning but a swift flicker of his horn, the wall vanished, and I fell to the ground. Well, almost. Before I even had a chance to put my arm in front of me, Shining jumped back, catching me in his magic that had reactivated. My entire body experienced a semi-whiplash, a painful heat that centered in my chest that made me want to cry out and close my eyes.  I dared not, knowing what awaited me in that lapse of darkness.  “Don’t move, let me check your wounds.” Shining raised my shirt, using his horn as a light to examine my hip. “Ok, they didn’t reopen as far as I can tell. I’m guessing that was the anti-magic rocks? And that,” he raised his head, squinting his eyes in the distance. “Is the log you were talking about.” I nodded, leaning once more against the wall he’d conjured.  “Good. Then I just have to do this.” He reached into his hip-pouch, pulling out some sort of gun. It wasn’t like the revolver Frisk found, instead being a much older design. It had the look of old scratched metal cobbled together into the vague shape of a gun; I’d be surprised if it fired without falling apart.  He pointed it to the sky, shooting out a ball of sparking fire that produced a shrieking whistling noise that made me want to cover my ears. It got more and more muffled as it ascended into the sky, curving until eventually stopping in the sky. Spreading its light and staying there before fading, like a shooting star from the ground.  It was pretty.  “Alright, that should signal the nearest night guard; if not the princess herself. Until then, I’m gonna do what I can for your wounds while we wait for someone to pick up the bag of rocks and get the ones in the cave later, then put them in a hole somewhere far away. After that, you can tell Luna all about the deal you made.” “What deal?”  A shiver went up Shining’s spine as he jumped away, barely landing on his hooves as he fumbled to bow. Luna had appeared behind us, holding her arms behind her back with her wings tucked into her sides.  “P-princess! I didn’t hear you teleport.” “Yes, tis the point of silent casting; It's how I have fun in these tense times. However,” she began to walk, tilting her head as she moved in front of us. “I meant to teleport here infront of you. Why did i—oh.” She stopped, tensing up as her wings curled uncomfortably. “I see you found some stowed away rocks. That’s…” Luna slowly stepped back, holding her breath until getting behind us again and finally letting it out in a loud sigh. “Relieving. Now, what is this about a—” She stopped as soon as her eyes landed on me, her star filled eyes widening as she grew still, then leaning closer as her eyebrows drew together.  “Chara, you’re…stand still.”  The very air around us grew warm, any cold on or in my body dissipated and was washed over as a blackish aura encased my body. Condensed on my hip, the soreness in my body ebbed away, along with the fatigue that had been plaguing it. I gradually leaned off the wall, moving my arms with more vigor than I had moments ago.  I felt better.  I felt…good.  But, my face was still… “Sticky.” I muttered as my hand touched my cheeks, dry and yet wet at the same time. I hated it.  I had the near overwhelming urge to bathe myself.  “Sticky?” Luna asked with a curl of her lip, shaking her head as the expression wavered before falling entirely. “Nevermind. I have not healed you entirely, only time can accomplish such a feat; I’ve merely given you the ability to walk to your next place of rest.” “Ma’m, what about the rest of the changelings?” Luna sidestepped, turning to halfway face me and Shining as she wrinkled her muzzle.  “There are no rest of the changelings in these woods. When we received the nightguard escort with Mrs.Cake and Trixie, all of the night guard had returned with prisoners of their own. After they’d been handled, there was a second scouting done just to ensure there were no,” Her eyes dragged to Chrysalis as she scowled. “Stragglers. I see you caught the queen.” “With much difficulty, and Chara’s help, yes.” “Chara helped?” Luna glanced at me. For a second, I thought I saw a smirk on her lips. “That would explain the state she is in. Very well, you have both done more than your part for this mission. I believe we can declare it a success, huzzah!” Luna raised an arm above her head, wings spreading to the side as she peered up into the night sky.  “Huzzah?” Shining raised an eyebrow. “Yes, huzzah. It is a celebratory phrase.” “Well, yes Princess I’m aware of that. But I think it’s far too early to be celebrating.” Shining picked up Chrysalis, once more throwing her over her shoulder as she let out a groan.  At the noise, we all tensed up, expecting that to be a sign that the latent queen had awoken. When she remained quiet, Luna lowered her arm and her wings once more hugged her hips.  “We have to get Chrysalis along with the other changelings to Canterlot as soon as possible. All without letting the residents of Ponyville know how close they were to being overtaken.” “Hmm, thou is—” Luna coughed, clearing her throat as she looked in a random direction. “You are correct. Just as well, you and the nightguard deserve rest. Chara, you especially deserve rest. I will come to collect your side of the contract soon enough.” Shining’s eyes widened at the word ‘contract’, pupils darting between Luna and I before constricting in comprehension. He didn’t audibly say anything, but I could see his mouth speak something wordlessly. “Actually, Luna, I…” My conversation with Fluttershy the night before I left for Canterlot came to mind; the goodbye that wasn’t. I couldn’t say with an ounce of confidence I was more ready for that conversation now than I was then, but it was here regardless. “Owe Fluttershy the same thing.” “Oh?” Luna raised her chin, her mouth parting. “Is that so?” “Yeah.” I nodded, shuffling my feet as I tried to shake the discomfort in my body. “I know she’s not awake right now. Even so, do you think you could meet me there when she wakes up? I’d,” I brought a hand to my chest, feeling a strange bump there that I hadn’t noticed before. “Rather not have to repeat it. Besides, I could really use a bath. I feel,” I gave myself a once over for the first time since I took off the amulet, standing in the fading moonlight I was bathed in.  My clothes were drenched in my own black blood, only patches of green to be spotted in between. Hands, especially my right one, caked in a layer of it. It was a miracle I could even move them properly. A dry itchiness came over my face as I imagined how it must look, glad more than ever that I didn’t have the chance to peer into my reflection.  “Dirty.” “Yes, I imagine you would.” Luna stared at me for what I was sure felt much longer than it was, before her horn glowed in magic that surrounded Chrysalis, hovering her off of Shining’s shoulder and leaving her floating beside Luna with hardly any strain. “Captain Armor, please escort Chara to Fluttershy’s cottage and then make your way to Sugarcube Corner; she should know where it is. I will take Chrysalis back to Canterlot personally, fret not.” “Understood.” Then, Luna was just…gone. No woosh, no popping noise, no magic coating her before she vanished. One second she was there, and the next she wasn’t.  It was more than a little unnerving.  After finding myself transfixed on the spot Luna was, I turned to Shining, who had already made his way to the log. He reached in, quickly finding the bag I’d stashed there and placing it in his hip-pouch.  “Fluttershy’s Cottage is…'' he closed the hip-pouch, looking up in the sky at the stars before and not saying anything before dropping his eyes in a direction. “That way, I think. Right? I only know this place from the maps I have memorized.” “Um,” I didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t know these woods very well. There was still this underlying anxiety that we’d get lost or run into some animals, but Luna letting us know that the changelings were no longer a threat made it somewhat more managable. “I think so.” “Good. If you can walk, then let’s go.” At a noticeably faster pace than before, we began trekking through the woods. I was able to stay a few feet behind him at all times, which meant I had no idea what he was thinking. Minutes of silence passed before he cleared his throat, more than loud enough to startle me among the nothingness of the woods.  “So, you made a contract with the princess? You’re the first to do so in a thousand years, so I’m guessing you can’t tell me what it is you owe both her and Fluttershy .” Despite the ambivalent feelings of good and bad inside and outside of me, some part of me couldn’t help but smile at his question. “My soul.” __________ By the time we made it to Fluttershy’s cottage, the sun had mostly risen and the moon was gone along with the stars. Shining had left to go his own way, leaving me in front of the treehome that she lived in.  I should have felt something; a sense of accomplishment, or happiness, or even just relief.  Instead, there was nothing.  Just like the void. Just like the woods.  I began to wonder what exactly that amulet did to me.  I opened the door, half-expecting Fluttershy to be on the couch waiting for me again. Having fallen asleep on that uncomfortable couch, surrounded by the animals she cared for.  Instead, there was a bunny.  Angel Bunny, to be specific.  He was napping on the couch, using a pillow as…well a pillow. He raised his little head after I shut the door behind me, failing to muffle the noise to not reach his adorable ears. Angel rubbed his eyes, once while seeing who was at the door, and then once again as soon as he saw it was me.  He made a chittering noise, then squeaked as he jumped off the couch and made his way to the stairs.  “Angel, wait!” I hushscreamed, outstretching my arm and begging for him to stop. He listened, halting on the first step and very slowly glaring over his shoulder at me.  “Please, don’t wake Fluttershy yet.”  Just as slowly, he took a single step off the stairs, facing me and crossing his arms as he made a chirping sound.  “I, uhm,” I still didn’t know what he was saying, but I could take a guess. “I’m sorry for being gone so long?” He raised an eyebrow. “And I’ll pet you for hours without expecting anything in return?” He tapped his foot repeatedly.  “Please?”  With a sigh, he chittered and gave me a nod. Then he began to walk up to me, no doubt expecting that petting I promised.  “Wait, wait. Not right now. I’m,” I placed a hand on my opposing shoulder, the urge to clean myself getting stronger the closer I was to a bath. “Really gross right now. Can you get me a towel and help me sneak into the bathroom? And, uhm,” I glimpsed at the crest on my hand, which was glowing as faintly as a dying firefly, but glew nonethless. Fluttershy would ask about it, and I couldn’t lie to her.  Not anymore.  “A pair of gloves?” His ears curled in, titling his little head at me before shrugging. He gestured for me to follow him, taking very slow and silent hops up the stairs, waiting for me to take a step before he took the next one. It was a rarity, but I was briefly thankful for my small stature.  Once we made it to the top of the stairs, he opened the bathroom door for me, somehow doing so without making any noise. With a salute, he was off, leaving me alone in the room. As I shut the door, I felt this sense of dread well up in my chest reaching my throat.  There was a mirror to my left, I remembered the layout of this bathroom too well. I got in the habit of placing a towel on it and Fluttershy was content to leave it there without bringing up the subject, but I could tell out of the corner of my eye it wasn’t there.  Now, more than ever, I couldn’t stand my reflection. I don’t know what would happen, and that was leagues more terrifying than expecting anything.  “Ok, ok, ok. It’s ok.” The mantra never made me feel better, but it was preferable to doing nothing at all. “It’s ok.”  I turned the water on, as hot as it could go. Once it began to form something resembling a puddle, I stepped away from the tub and began taking off my clothes. They put up more resistance than usual, an odd dryness in between that made it much harder to take them off.  The second I had, it was obvious why.  Inside my clothes was a layer of black that had dried like paint, without a doubt a sight that would make Rarity scream to see. By the time I got all of them off into a pile, it was like I had taken off my own skin. It didn’t hurt, but what was left were splotches of black that wouldn’t come off. It was my blood.  All over me, all over the clothes. There were brownish spots on my hip where Chrysalis almost burned me, likely the scars Shining referenced. My knees were shaking, begging for me to relax, arms hanging at my sides as I was almost too afraid to move them.  And I was scared of my reflection.  My shadow.  I sighed as I dipped my body into the hot water, every fiber of my being, which had been coiled and rigid since I walked beneath those hordes of leaves, finally getting to unwind. They unrolled, and I watched as the water turned black.  I curled into myself, bringing the knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I lowered my head and placed as much of my face into the water as I could, breathing out of my nose and staring straight ahead to not see myself in the water.  Waiting. I was waiting. For what? Anything, really.  The bathtub was soon filled with blackwater, making the mirror the only place where my reflection could hide.  I was home, I was safe, I was warm. Fluttershy was just down the hall, the changeling threat was over, and Luna would be here any moment. Waiting for the truth I owed her, that I owed Fluttershy. That the others deserved, too.  And I still… “Can’t feel anything.” ____________ The second pair of clothes Rarity had for me were now my only ones. I didn’t know what to do with the original pair, so I put them in my backpack, coming up as ‘dirty laundry’ in my inventory. The ‘gloves’ Angel had slipped under the door were dark green, and not plural.  “Just one?” It was a right handed one, so at least it was the one I needed. It was dark green, so dark I wouldn’t be able to see them at night.  Question was, were they dark enough to conceal the glowing of the crest? I slipped it on, trying to recall the last time I wore a glove, if ever. The only time that came to mind was when Toriel prepped me before going to Snowden, since I didn’t have the benefit of fur like Azzy did. Those gloves were oversized, and probably could fit Asgore, these were much smaller and fingerless. Fitting around my hand like…well like a glove.  Were these Fluttershy’s? Did she need them for something?  “Chara?”  I literally jumped at Fluttershy’s voice and knocking, despite how many times I’d heard it before.  “Angel told me you were in here, weren’t you supposed to be here around noon? Did something happen?” “Hmmmm,” I droned, bringing my hands to my neck just to feel the vibrations of my breathing.  “N—no, I just ended up here early. Can you wait for me on the couch? Luna’s going to be here soon.” “Luna? Princess Luna is going to be here soon? Oh my, no no no, I’m not ready. Mmmm,” I heard her tap her hooves against the floor. “I have to put out the candles and make sure all the animals are fed. Are you okay by yourself? I’d love to catch up but I’m not presentable, to you or the princess.” “I’m fine.” “Are you actually fine or are you just saying that?”  “I’m,” I placed my hands on my ears, trying to, just for a moment, to hear nothing.  I never thought I’d miss the void.  “Not ready. Please.” “...Ok.” There was tapping that grew more distant, until I didn’t hear it at all. I was fully dressed, my back facing the mirror. Inch by inch, I stood up, straightening my spine until I felt good enough to walk.  I sat on the couch, watching Fluttershy spruce up her living room with a fervor I’ve never seen from her before. Setting candles that gave the room a lavender scent, and cleaning every scrap that was out of place in the room. I asked once or twice if I could help, but Fluttershy barely gave me more than a glance, a shake of her head, before continuing.  Near the end, she ran up to her room and returned with a plushie, setting it in the center of the couch between some pillows. It was a small lamb, with baby blue eyes and a dark blue ribbon tied around its left ear. I picked it up, finding a strange sense of familiarity as I held its artificially soft fur in my fingers.  “Who’s this?” “Ah, that’s Gossamer. He’s my lucky lamb! I,” Fluttershy awkwardly smiled, sitting beside me. “Set him in your bed when you first came here. He’s half my age and has been with me since.” “Really? Huh.”  Its beady little eyes stabbed into me, piercing my very soul with its lack of one. It was comforting, and yet unnerving at the same time.  Before I could lose myself in those orbs of blue, there was a knocking on the door. I could see Luna’s large figure through the window, standing out among the light.  “She’s here! Oh, uhm, can you answer the door for me, Chara?” “Yeah.”  I gave her Gossamer, opening the door and seeing Luna waiting patiently. Her peytral and crown were gone, making her seem smaller; though not by much. She gave me a small smile, before dropping into something hard to read as she noticed the glove on my right hand.  “Oh, I see. You wish to conceal your crest so Kindness won’t suspect your involvement. It suits you well.” “Please, just,” I rubbed the glove, plucking at it as I tried to get used to the feeling of its clotch against my hand. “Call her Fluttershy. I think just calling her Kindness freaks her out a bit; it’d be like if I just called you Princess.”  “Truly?” She tilted her head. “But, many individuals call me Princess.” “Even your friends?” “Well, no, I don’t believe you’ve ever referred to to me as anything but Luna.” My mouth fell, a heat tingling my face. “I—I didn’t know you considered me,” I cleared my throat, curling my hand into a fist and tapped it against my chest. “A friend.” “I have ever since I took you to see Haylet. Is that an issue?” “No, no—not at all. I,” the intent was in my mind, but it trembled and fought against being transformed into words. “Consider you my friend, too.” “Wonderful.” she walked past me, approaching Fluttershy, who was surrounded by pillows and holding on to Gossamer for life itself.  Angel rolled his eyes. He was not impressed.  “K—Fluttershy. Tis nice to meet you outside of your dreams, and not in a castle forgotten by time.” “Y—you, too.” Fluttershy’s entire body vibrated as they shook hands, which lasted a very long few seconds before they sat down on the couch at opposite ends.  I approached the chair beside the couch, directly facing them. The moment I sat down, Angel hopped up on my lap, resting his head in his paws and gesturing to his stomach. I couldn’t help but giggle at the display, placing my hand on him and as gently scratching him as I could.  I hope he and Lumi get along.  “Chara.”  Luna broke me out of my stupor, yanking my attention back to them. Luna waited with crossed legs, one arm resting on the couch itself and the other across her legs. Fluttershy was pressing her legs against each other, fidgeting as she occasionally glanced at Luna.  This was pretty close to my worst nightmare. “I…don’t know where to start.” “That’s easy; at the beginning. Who were thou before you came here?” “I was just Chara, no Dreemurr yet. And I was,” my hand cramped up, more from the throbbing tension throughout my body than anything. “The most hated child in my village.” I could actually hear Fluttershy stop breathing, those beautifully green and bright eyes of hers constricting as they focused on me. “It was a small village, nothing really notable about it; it was hell for me. I’d really,” I picked up Angel, holding him to my chest. He didn’t resist. “Rather not go into the details of why. At least, not for a while. All that’s important is that near my village was a mountain, named Mt. Ebott. There were stories about monsters that lived in those mountains, and every child who went there never came back. So, I left my village, and went to the mountain.” “You went knowing your life would be in danger?” “I went because I knew my life would be in danger.” I’d only ever told Asriel why I went to the mountain, though in an admittedly much more direct way. It took Luna a moment to understand what I was saying, but Fluttershy seemed to grasp it immediately. Wringing her wrist and keeping her eyes on me like I would vanish at any second. “I,” her eyelids fell, nostrils flaring. “See. Continue.” “When I fell down, I thought I’d died. Instead, I found the monsters. And they,” I gripped the necklace, holding as tightly as I could into my palm until the edges dug into my skin. It didn’t hurt. “Were kind. They adopted me, and I became a Dreemurr. I had a family, and I was happy. For a while, at least.” “They were monsters?” Fluttershy leaned forward, raising her legs to her couch. “What does that mean?” “It was a general term for them; they were basically animal people. The Dreemurrs in particularly were pure-as-snow goats. Just my luck at the time, they were the rulers of the underground, with my new parents the king and queen; Asriel the prince. It was fun learning how different they were from humans, yet how similar. At least, until I learned about the delta rune prophecy.” I uncurled my fingers, scraping the fingernail of my thumb against the symbol on the heart. “It said than an Angel—” Angel perked his head up at me. I smiled a bit as I ran my free hand on the edges of his ear. “An angel who’s seen the surface would make The Underground go empty. They thought it’d be me, I thought it’d be me. But the problem was, I hated humanity. Maybe, just as much, I hated myself.” Why was this so easy for me? I should have been a sniveling mess, stuttering over my words and unable to get past a sentence without some memory stopping my thoughts where they were. Yet, I didn’t feel anything. Not any unease or anxiety or even my heartbeat, which was as calm as I’d felt it.  Something was wrong with me.  “I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to do that. See, the reason humans feared monsters so much was because monsters had the ability to absorb human souls and become really powerful, but only when they had just died. The barrier keeping the monsters locked in the mountain needed seven human souls, but just one would be powerful enough to get that many from a nearby village. And the nearest was mine, so…” Luna grasped the implication of what I was saying before I had to finish my sentence.  “You were going to kill six of the humans from your village?” Luna leaned forward, her wings unfurled. “That’s what I told Asriel to convince him. Really, I was going to,” I still vividly remembered how long it took to convince Asriel to go along with it, how many tries it took me to learn the right words to use and the right buttons to press; how manipulative I was.  A sour taste filled the inside of my cheeks.  “Kill them all. Every single one.” “Chara,” Fluttershy remained uncharacteristically stiff, gripping her wrist so tightly I could see her skin begin to pale. “Tell me you didn’t.” “I certainly tried.”I laughed. Why did I laugh? I hate laughing. “But no, I didn’t even kill a single one; besides myself. Asriel took control of our shared body after he absorbed me, and he took my body there to my favorite batch of flowers. Of course, the humans thought that he had killed me and attacked him. They threw spears, bows, stabbed him, and yet he never fought back. In the end,” I stopped petting Angel, staring into the empty eyes of Gossamer on Fluttershy’s lap. “Maybe he was the Angel. With our dying body, he took us back to the underground, and we died in front of Toriel and Asgore. He turned to dust, as monsters did when they died, and I was buried.” I couldn’t bring myself to look at their face, what expressions they had, what reactions. I was briefly thankful that my hair had gotten long enough to obscure most of my eyes, leaving only Luna and Fluttershy’s lower visible.  “I have a feeling that isn’t the end of this tale, is it?” Luna spoke up, eager to break the silence that had fallen upon us. “It’s not.” Angel raised himself, the look of satisfaction on his face shifting to that of concern. “Many humans fell down after me, but one in particular named Frisk literally brought me back from the grave as a ghost. To this day, I’m not sure why that was. Were we matching souls, was it some twisted form of destiny? Or maybe just some comedic, cruel comedy, as my life always seems to be.” Angel hugged me.  I can’t remember the last time he did that. It might have been warm, soft even; a gesture of sweetness. But it barely registered to me. “This may sound odd even to you, but humans have magical abilities unique to every one of us. Frisk’s was the ability to reset, he could turn back time at given points as many times as he felt like. Usually, him and I were the only ones who could remember, with a few exceptions.” I placed my hand on his head, playing with the fur between my fingers. I gave him a small smile, but I could tell by his frown he knew how hollow it was. “Things were fine, happy, even. For a lot of resets, they just kept spending time with them. Showing me how they’d lived all those years without Asriel, without…me.” I couldn’t speak for a moment. I tried, my mouth opening and closing over and over again, but it was hard. Frustratingly so.  Neither of them pushed me to continue, not even so much as a gesture. They waited for me, with complete and utter patience.  I wet my mouth, setting Angel to the ground. He was reluctant to leave, but eventually obliged. Making his way to the kitchen and getting himself a snack from the sounds of it.  “Eventually, he got bored. And when people get bored, they do things. Terrible, terrible things.” I leaned back in the chair, wrapping both of my arms around my sides. “He started slaughtering them, just for fun. Over and over again, he betrayed them. Toriel, Asgore, all of his friends, just to do it again and again. Until one day, he just stopped. For years, he never came back. And—” Angel returned from the kitchen, using all of his body to carry a plate of something. He stopped in front of me, jumping up and down and begging me to take it.  It was a piece of pie. Cinnamon butterscotch pie, the same kind Toriel made for me. The same kind I begged Fluttershy to make for me after we talked to Twilight. It wasn’t hot, but not quite cold either. She must have made another one in preparation for me coming back.  Judging from the way I noticed her blush and look away out of the corner of my eye, that was exactly the case. “Oh, Angel. That was meant to be a surprise.” Angel chirped something angrily at her, to which she pulled her eyebrows together but didn’t say anything else as she pursed her lips.  “Quite a mouth on that one.” Luna added.  I was tempted to ask her what he said exactly, but somehow I felt like I was better off not knowing.  “Thank you.” I took it from him, placing it on the nightstand beside me. I was probably hungry and couldn’t feel it, so when I could I’m sure I’d be swallowing it faster than I could taste it. For now, however, I didn’t have it in me to eat. “See, when I wasn’t haunting Frisk, I spent most of my time in a literal void as, well, a ghost. I couldn’t feel anything, couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything until Frisk came back. And he didn’t for six years. “ Six years. Why did I know that number? I paused, placing my hands on my knees and pressing down in a futile attempt to stop them from shaking.  “Then, I woke up in The Everfree. In this new body, with a backpack and the necklace I was buried with, in a patch of flowers. Like some kind of joke.”  The room went silent again, this time because I didn’t have it in me to continue. At least, not without vividly remembering my first death.  I couldn’t decide if that was the worst one or not. “So, you do not know how you came here?” Luna once again broke the silence. “You just…did?” “As far as I’m aware, yeah.” “And,” Fluttershy coughed, placing a hand on the tip of her wing as she fiddled with a feather. “That’s when you ran into Applebloom and the others?” “No, that’s when I went into Boggy Bottom Bog.” Luna’s face pinched in confusion, while Fluttershy’s did the opposite.  “How did you—” “And that’s where I died for the first time.” Her jaw closed.  “I came back, for the first time. And then again to the timberwolves. Then, later to the diamond dogs. I can reset, but only when I die. I don’t get to choose when I go back to either, so every death is a gamble. Once it changes, I can’t go back to the previous one. Or, at least I haven’t figured out how to.” “That’s how you knew about…” Luna glanced at my hand, and then to Fluttershy. “Well, everything, I suppose. “ “So, you really did try to,” Fluttershy muttered, closing her hands over her mouth. “With the diamond dogs?” “Yeah, I did.” I rubbed my stomach, a phantom cold stabbing my gut. “Three times.” “I see.” Luna closed her eyes, uncrossing her legs. “Magic capable of sending someone back to a set time is not unheard of; I believe Starswirl had an unfinished spell that does exactly that. However, for death to be the catalyst, that is,” she stood up, briefly spreading her wings. “Beyond cruel.” “You believe me?” “Of course. The contract we made declared that you give me what you believe to be the truth, and I trust that you’re telling that.” she stretched, turning to Fluttershy and bowing. “Fluttershy, it has been a pleasure to be in your home. I must depart now, I am needed in Canterlot for celebrations.” Fluttershy barely responded, biting the corner of her lip and nodding as she trembled. “Chara, you have a day here before you are required back in Canterlot to…settle matters. Just as well, Cadance has a gift waiting for you there. I think you’ll be,” she smirked. “Pleasantly surprised. Or perhaps not, knowing what I do now. We will discuss this at more length at a later time,” there was a gleam in Luna’s eyes as she leaned down, whispering something in my ear that sent a shiver down my spine. “Princess Chara.” My entire body coiled as I sharply inhaled, raising my chin and digging my nails so tightly into the chair I almost got them stuck. Then, Fluttershy and I were alone. Angel had skittered off somewhere, leaving no sign he’d been around except for the pie on the nightstand and the tidbits of his fur stuck to my shirt. Fluttershy herself was silent and as unmoving as a frozen tree, not even messing with her clothes like she’s opt to do when she was anxious about something. “How many times?” I let go of the arm chairs, resting my hands on my thighs.  “‘How many times?’”  “How many times have you d—” Fluttershy bit her tongue, hiding behind her mane. “H—how many times have you reset?” “Oh.”  That was a good question.  I reached into my backpack, pulling out my journal and flipping to the page with the tally marks. With a dragging hand, I added one to the count, writing a small note beside it. “Eight.” Fluttershy whimpered.  It hurt my ears.  It hurt my heart.  She stood up, making her way to my chair. In one swift motion, she picked me up, holding me tightly against her chest. Her arms wrapped so tightly around me it was painful, but somehow, I didn’t mind. Wings, too, extended from her back and gripped me tightly like a second, gentle pair of arms.  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” I almost couldn’t breathe, couldn’t quite hear her fervent apologies. It was muffled, distant, and in between choked sobs.  “You tried, didn’t you? You tried so many times with the diamond dogs to rely on our help and it didn’t work? That’s, that’s why you…” It was warm.  I could hear her heartbeat, erratic and calming, but clear as day.  I wasn’t afraid she’d hurt me, even though she was.  I held onto her as tightly as she did to me, and I felt something.  This relief.  This warmth.  Deep in my soul, deep in my heart.  It was light.  “I did!” I began to cry like a baby, hot tears streaming down my face as this immense pressure built up in my chest. I gave into her hug entirely, sniveling with snot coming out of my nose and on her clothes. “I tried, I tried, I tried! I c—couldn’t, I—i didn’t.” “It’s ok.” Fluttershy placed a hand on my head, resting it there as she ran a finger down my face.  “You don’t have to talk anymore.” Our eyes met for that instance, and I saw that she was crying as much as I was.  I gave in. I trusted her.  I cried.  I was home.