//------------------------------// // Chapter 15: Making Arrangements // Story: The Crazy Adventures Of Two Siblings Who Hate Each Other In Equestria. // by deadpansnarker //------------------------------// The crack of a belt as it hit its tender target… The excruciating half-second of pain that followed… A shrill female screaming in the background… “No!” I grit my teeth to calm her down: ‘It’ll be okay, everything’s gonna be okay…” If only I actually believed that absolute tripe. I brace myself for the next inevitable agonising impact… “W-What the…” Somewhat disorientated, I woke up to my new surroundings… not to the agonising sensation of pain radiating all over my body, but something hot and padded pressed against my forehead, a pleasant feeling of fuzzy warmth spread around my mid-quarters, and as for my feet (or for now at least, hooves)... …An attentive yellow pegasus busy washing them in what can only be described as a heart-shaped miniature tub. So intent was she in her cleanliness pursuit, she hadn’t even spotted my eyes flick open, but before I could decide what my next course of action could be in this unexpected situation… “Achoo!!” That’ll be the steam emanating from the tiny makeshift bath that had just made me sneeze, then. This uncontrollable burst of sound was enough to make my equine ‘carer’ flinch a little, but unlike outside when she jumped ten feet in the air upon my unexpected arrival, she seemed a lot more comfortable within the confines of her own home. “Oh, you’re awake now! How are you feeling, Twilight Sparkle? Or do you prefer ‘Twilight’? Or ‘Sparkle’? What about ‘Sparky’? Sometimes, my friends call me ‘Flutters’. You can call me ‘Flutters’. Nicknames can be fun!” It was cute she was trying to be social, but she wasn’t really that good at it. Still, judging by everything she’s trying to do for me, I’d say she deserves the benefit of the doubt. So, I’ll play along. For now. “J-Just plain old ‘Twilight’ will be alright. And personally, I’m not a big fan of nicknames. I mean, ‘Daz’ or ‘Dazza’ is just fine ‘n’ dandy, but if I ever hear my obnoxious brat of a sister call me ‘Big Brother’ again, I’ll… oh.” The wooziness of my condition must’ve been affecting my concentration, as once more I’d gone off on an incoherent tangent Fluttershy couldn’t possibly have comprehended in a million trillion years. So before she could once more regard me with the same kind of sobriety a mental patient dining out on his own faeces might’ve commanded, I swiftly changed the subject to something else I was slightly curious about. “M-My name. I never told you it before, but you seem to know what it is. How so?” “Don’t you remember, silly? The ‘Wanted’ poster our local mailmare dropped by earlier had your face on, and you were mumbling those two words in your sleep so much I assumed that’s what you were called. Especially as it fit your Cutie Mark so well…” Damn, she’s good. Wait a second… “I-I was talking in my sleep? W-What else did I say?” “Um, nothing much. You were crying a lot though, and you seemed to be quite protective of somepony called ‘Daisy’. I say that, because you kept telling another creature to stay away from her, or something. I wasn’t going to tell you because I hate to pry, but you did ask, so…”  “Right, that's it!! Thank you so much for your help Shutter… Fluttershy, but it’s getting late and I gotta go now.” This is not a conversation I particularly wanted to have with a talking cartoon horsie, or indeed anyone at all. And yes, that includes you nosy-parkers reading this right now, so mind your own beeswax. “Now, which way to the front… aargh.” Waves of dizziness engulfed me as I tried to stand, not to mention the thoroughly tucked-in blanket around my torso made movement nigh-on (or ‘neigh-on’) impossible. I was embarrassed at my own visible weakness, especially as I felt a firm pair of hooves push me back where I sat, and re-tuck the blanket that kept me confined to this chair so it was stronger and more immovable than ever. “You’re not going anywhere, Miss Sparkle. You’re going to fully rest up here until I’m absolutely positive you’re well enough to leave, and I’m going to be right here supervising your recovery all the way. Even if that means missing the Summer Sun Celebration tonight me and my birdies practised so long for…”   Oh, sh*t… I forgot all about that. If I don’t beat ‘Spike’ in meeting Celestia there, I might not ever be able to go back to Earth. My sister might just request to stay in this technicolour kinderland forever, and I’ll be forced into tagging along for the ride.  I don’t want to be a tattooed mare forever! I don’t want to have purple foals running about calling me ‘Mummy’! I don’t want to zap random passers-by with unbelievably powerful magic… well, actually I do. But the trade-in for four legs instead of two, the permanent loss of my meat and veg and the prospect of never being able to smoke ciggies or drink hard liquor again just ain’t worth it. Sorry, Dais.  “I-I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, don’t get me wrong. I would just hate to think that you and your, erm ‘birdies’ wasted so much time on your intricate melodies for nothing. I heard you out there earlier, and you were fantastic. I haven’t heard anything that good since Nirvana popped up on my playlist one day and, u-um well, you get the point. Please don’t miss out on your big performance this evening… believe me, I’m not worth it.” Fluttershy paused briefly to weigh up my words, and even though they were carefully constructed to manipulate her into ‘setting me free’, most of the praise contained within was actually genuine. If her feathered friends were talented enough to briefly soothe my cynical soul, then lord knows how those of a far more amiable position would take to them. Besides, since me and the brat plummeted into this animalistic dimension here through methods unknown, all we seem to have left in our wake is a heady mix of chaos and woe. Depriving the peaceful populace of such an enrichingly tuneful experience which might act as a countermeasure to the huge upheaval we’ve visited upon this formerly serene hamlet just wouldn’t be right. So we owe it to them that the show goes ahead, to say the least.  “Okay, I’ll think about it. Under one condition.” Well, that was a bit easier than I thought. “W-What’s that, then?” “If I do go to the festival, then you’ll go with me where I can keep a close eye on you. I’m still concerned about your health, but you seem to be a bit more lucid now at least. If you sit there for the remaining time before everything begins in a few hours, you should be okay. Just take it easy for now, while I finish up with your hooves…” This proposal seemed fair enough to me, and Fluttershy seemed to take my subsequent silence as acceptance of her terms. I was just about to drift off again with all this surrounding comfort, confident that the friendly pegasus was trustworthy enough to rouse me at the right time, when a sudden questionable thought sprung into my ailing brain. “F-Fluttershy?” “Yes, Twilight?” “U-Um, about that poster you had delivered before. Are you sure you feel safe, with me around…?” At this tense juncture, one thing I was not expecting is for the usually nervous pegasus to let out the most endearing of giggles. “Not at all. From what I’ve seen of you so far, you’re just about the most harmless pony I’ve ever met! Even if you are a bit mysterious, I could never believe that you could be capable of a single thing on that horrible list. It must just be a funny mix-up, that’s all. Now, I’m just going to change the water, so you sit tight there while I’m gone for a moment, please.” Huh. Figures that she’d see only the best in others, after not even recognising she has a furry long-eared psychopath living under her own roof. If only she knew the truth… I watched Fluttershy leave for the kitchen with a sympathetic shake of my head at her blindly trusting nature.  Maybe I’ll have the chance to explain everything properly before I go, but for now I better keep my real origins on the downlow. I don’t know where she thinks I’m going to run off to, though… these cosy adornments she’s placed over my frame are like manacles keeping me here. Very snug, toasty manacles, but still… “Cooey, anypony home? I just popped over to see if you were still coming to that treehouse-warming party I set up for the new arrival who just moved in today. Everypony will be there, and they’ll be cake, and they’ll be ice cream, and they’ll be games, and they’ll be more cake… it’ll be fab-be-rooney!!” Fab-be-what now?! Just as I was beginning to relax once more, a somewhat familiar pinkish face uninvitedly stuck its head through the front door. It’s pink mane was exceedingly frizzy, it’s high-pitched voice was grating to say the least, and the balloons engraved near its butt… “Oh sorry, I’m not sure I can go after all… I have a guest, as you can see. She needs total bed-rest until late this evening, and I have to take care of her until then. We’ll probably be at the Celebration for the Summer Sun later though, so tell everyone we’ll see them then. Send my apologies please, and have a really good time anyway.” As Fluttershy emerged from the kitchen, fresh tub of steaming water in hoof, the identity of the pink visitor revealed itself to me. That’s the total weirdo who froze in mid-air when I was first dropped off in Ponyville, after I only uttered a few trifling words to her. Now, what was she called again… Stinky? Blinky? No, it’s gotta be… “You’re Pinkie… Pinkie Pie, aren’t you?” I blurted her name out to her without thinking, just as her disappointed face turned to leave. She spun around to acknowledge my presence… …And if she was surprised to see me before, now she looked positively shocked to the core. Mercifully this time, she didn’t disturbingly suspend herself mid-jump, but instead regarded me with suspicion, gave a shout of recognition and instinctively placed a nonplussed Fluttershy at the back of her protectively whilst backing away to the exit. “Hang on a tick… you’re the newcomer? Wait, I remember now! Your evilly grinning face was the one on that piece of paper Gummy nearly choked on earlier, the one who destroyed my good friend Sesame Seed’s fruit shop down in Canterlot. She wasn’t even insured! She’s lost everything… and now you’re trying to corrupt a sweet, innocent pony like our Fluttershy?! I’m onto you, Missy! And you won’t get away with it…!” Oh dear. If only I’d kept my big trap shut. Though that, for me at least, would involve changing the habits of a lifetime. And now it looked like my sole salvation was heading right out the door, frogmarched by a well-meaning but otherwise clueless Great Pink weirdo.   Fortune vomits on my eiderdown once again. Thanks, Lady Luck.  Loving your work. Truly.