//------------------------------// // Examining Shining Armors // Story: Too Many Shining Armors (are Terrible Dads) // by owlicious //------------------------------// Flurry stationed the guards outside around the abandoned building she’d silently nicknamed the Armory and went inside. “Which of you are clones!?” “I’m a clone!”, one yelled enthusiastically, before Flurry heart hit him with a spell. He made a horrified face, bloated up, then transformed into a puff of blue magic smoke. Shining and his brethren finally realized what was about to happen, and started yelling in panic. “I’m the real Shining Armor!” Other stallions objected, “No, I’m the real Shining Armor!“ Flurry Heart had a revelation, exclaiming “I know! The Mirror Pool can’t clone items, so it must be the one that still has their saddlebags!“. “I think we forgot our saddlebags in the castle,” one stallion said, embarrassed. “Okay, I’ll do what Twilight did last time. Stare at that blank wall. I’ll banish the first ones that say something, use magic, or look away, straight to the Mirror Pool. Got it?”, Flurry Heart ordered. They stood up straight and faced the wall immediately. An hour later, despite many distractions, the former Captains of the Royal Guard were still stoically looking at the wall. Strangely, one of them was sweating a lot. “Look! A balloon animal!”, Flurry Heart lied enthusiastically, from behind them. A few minutes later, she turned her head to the window and yelled, “The earth ponies are revolting!” She paced around for a few minutes, trotted to the door, opened it, slammed it shut, locked it, and stage whispered “Changelings have replaced every Element of Harmony in Ponyville. We have to do something!” Nopony reacted to those lies. ‘Maybe I should ask them something that only the original Shining Armor would know,’ the Princess thought. “Do you like bananas?“ “No!“, they roared. Flurry cleverly pondered, ‘I should say something that only an impulsive idiot would react to,’ then looked out of the window, exclaiming “Hey, is that Twilight and my old foal-sitter?”. They all turned their heads. “That’s great, maybe Twily can solve this!“ “Wait, which foal-sitter?” another Shining Armor yelled, and they all rushed towards the window. “Where’d she go?” “Sorry, I was trying to find the impostor,“ she said, embarrassed. She yelled out another brilliant idea, “Cast your best barrier spell around yourself, dad! That spell needs the original’s magic, knowledge, and special talent!“ Seven shining, spherical barriers appeared around the unicorns. Flurry Heart facehooved, wondering why this was harder than Twilight said it would be, and was confused. She thought, ’Twilight would have already used the Mirror Pool to clone important ponies to help everypony in Equestria, if clones were as good as the originals at their special talents. She must be trying to stop clone rebellions from wiping out everypony else, or something like that?’ Minutes later, a perspiring, pink, panicked, muscular mare bucked the locked door off of its hinges, then hopped in and looked around. “Hi, I’m Finger Food! My Finger Food senses told me there was going to be a tragedy AND free Maneican food in Ponyville today!” The intruder looked around at the clones, and exclaimed “Oh, good, it’s the right building this time! I’m getting too old for this.” She turned to face Flurry Heart and yelled, “Don’t do anything hasty! You should tell Twilight that her brother was cloned and ask her to help! And probably take off those cursed looking amulets?“ The vandal continued, “I know! I brought snacks, manuals, quills, and paper, in case of an Ogres and Oubliettes emergency. They could form a party!”, then took out five precut cinnamon butterscotch pies and other party supplies from under her mane and put them on a table. The Shining Armors took down their magic barriers, then levitated slices of pie towards themselves. Flurry Heart picked up a slice of pie and ate it, looking at the muscular vandal that had just evaded the guards. Flurry Heart didn’t recognize the pink mare’s outfit, but Flurry recognized her bright pink coloration and her cutie mark. “Sorry, Princess Twilight Sparkle can’t be in Ponyville for the rest of the week. By the way, are you good at escaping from locked rooms?”, Flurry coldly inquired. The clone enthusiastically smiled, and cheerfully and quickly blurted out, “How did you guess that?! I’m the best at it! I once won Los Pegasus’s escape room championship in 10 seconds flat, then threw the gamemaster a party to celebrate how fun and difficult the puzzles were. He wasn’t sure how I got into the locked observation room, but he loved the pie!” Flurry Heart worried, ‘this is definitely a clone, it got past my royal guards, and it will escape or do something if I don’t act quickly,’ preparing to finish an extermination that Twilight began long ago. Pinkie Pie’s clone continued reminiscing, “We started dating later, and…”, before the ambush hit the now-horrified clone, returning it and all its belongings to the Mirror Pool. Flurry looked back at the stallions, asking “What did you teach me about gun safety when my teacher was late for the Parent-Teacher Conference?” “Look into the barrel to check if your gun works!” the first said confidently. “I never taught you about gun safety!“ “Say something cool and pose before you shoot!” After thinking hard, the rest finally responded. “Always treat your gun like it’s loaded.” “When you should use eye protection.“ “Hide and ambush your enemies! It’s kill or be killed.”, the last, sweatiest Shining Armor recalled. Princess Flurry Heart banished the incorrect unicorns who had given the first three answers. She asked the remaining Shining Armors, “What day is my birthday?” One stallion answered after pausing, “It’s December 25th.”. “Wait, was today your birthday?!” “It’s today.“, another confidently said last. After all three had answered, she started to cast the spell. All three Shining Armors defended themselves with a magic barrier wall. The magic bolt was blocked by the barrier of the scrooge who thought that her birthday was on Hearth’s Warming Day. She aimed and repeated the spell, and it ricocheted off of the building’s ceiling and wall to hit the stallion in the back, sending him to the Mirror Pool.