//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 - EileenSaysHi // Story: Cheerilee's Normal Day // by PseudoBob Delightus //------------------------------// Whatever the sound was, it certainly had the entire class’s attention firmly within its clutches. Unable to see the source from her position, Cheerilee simply frowned. “Scootaloo…” Without turning her head, the messy-haired filly waved her forehooves in innocence. “This isn’t us, we swear–” Suddenly, a face slammed against the window – the whole window – and grinned disconcertingly. Its voice, an all-too-familiar mix of sultry and grating, boomed inside the building. “Oh, yes, Miss Cheerilee, don’t blame poor Scootaloo, she’s indeed right. This particular batch of chaos has nothing to do with the antics of the Crusaders, as proud as I am that they’ve adopted so many of my teachings in absentia.” Cheerilee’s expression, ever-so-briefly a wide-eyed look of surprise, was now an even deeper grimace than before. “Class is in session, Discord.” “Oh, and what a class it is,” came the reply, as the paper-thin visage peeled itself off the glass and reformed to its normal state – though Cheerilee supposed normal was probably a misnomer – before then gliding effortlessly through solid matter as the Lord of Chaos made his entrance into the schoolhouse. “I mean Magonomic Theory really is one of the more interesting subjects for young minds, though I’m afraid this modern variant is far too refined and–” Discord shuddered “–structured.” Cheerilee opened her mouth to respond, but before she could speak, the floating abomination had disappeared in a loud poof, only for an identical noise to manifest behind her. She turned to see a chalk outline of a draconequus ambling about across her diagrams, tsk-tsking frequently as it hopped from arrow to arrow. It was a delightful sight for her students, their giggling slowly starting to build into outright chuckles and guffaws. It was much less so for the beleaguered teacher, and that voice wasn’t helping matters. “Oh my, no, this won’t do at all, really, it’s no wonder the poor foals weren’t learning anything. I mean for dear old Celly’s sake, you didn’t even include all the potential magonomic impacts of a breezie flapping its wings in Griffonstone, much less– hey!” Eraser in mouth, Cheerilee lunged at the miniature agent of mayhem, which dodged just in time before she made contact with a cloud of chalk dust. Cheerilee mercilessly dragged the instrument of doom along the board, claiming words, boxes, and shapes as she chased the caricatured fiend, which screamed in mock-horror, sending the foals behind her into hysterics. It made an error, however, in trying to turn and make a surprise jump to the other side as the eraser closed in – Cheerilee’s reaction time was swifter than what Discord had apparently calculated, and she managed to smear off a large chunk of tail. In an instant, the sapient outline had vanished. The scope of the eraser’s destructive path was clear, with the day’s lesson left in ruins. Cheerilee violently spat out the wretched tool as another little pop sounded behind her, followed by cheers from the students. She turned to find Discord back in his physical form – minus part of the tail, which now terminated abruptly midway through numerous scales – and smiling smugly at her. “There now,” he said, gesturing to the board, “doesn’t that look much better?” It was all Cheerilee could do to ignore the taunt and resist openly gnashing her teeth. “Discord,” she growled, ”what do you want?” The foals all went silent. Discord, however, was unfazed. “What do I want? Hmmm… well, I’ll start with my tail back, I have grown rather fond of it…” He clenched his fists, hunched forward, and grit his teeth as though he were squeezing out an egg, groaning as his tail reformed into its usual shape. He then resumed his previous posture with perfect nonchalance. “Ah, much better. You know, I never used to keep my form this consistent, but when you’re stuck in one body for over a millennium, you develop a certain appreciation for… ah, we’re wasting time. After all, if we’re going to get through the list of everything I want–” “Why are you here?!” The room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Even Discord seemed taken aback. For the smallest of moments, anyway. “Well, you could have just led with that. Anywho–” Suddenly, all eyes turned as a sound – the same one they’d heard outside before Discord’s arrival – cracked through the schoolhouse. A purple glow manifested in the middle of the room, rapidly expanding, and a hole in space and time emerged from its center. A hideous, vaguely sock-puppet shaped monstrosity lunged out from it, looking like something from a dimension her pony eyes couldn’t even comprehend. Discord winced, and even looked embarrassed as he glanced over at Cheerilee. “You’ll have to excuse me.” With Cheerilee entirely lacking in a response, Discord floated up to meet the creature, which had scooped up Button Mash’s propeller beanie and devoured it, sending the colt fleeing in terror. “Hey! I thought I told you – no, no, back! Or there’ll be no treat tonight!” He stretched his arms impossibly wide and grabbed the rift from both left and right, shoving it back together. The creature, making shrill otherworldly barks of annoyance, slipped back inside just before the barrier was fully closed, the glow disappearing. There was scattered, awkward applause as Discord descended back to the floor beside Button Mash’s vacated desk. Cheerilee stared for a moment, before finally speaking up. “Was… was that what you were here for?” Discord laughed. “Him? Hardly. Randall’s an old, ah, what’s the word? Certainly not friend. Acquaintance might be a bit strong. But he’s been going through some issues, and, well, it’s probably far too long and graphic a story for the dear sweet youths here. He’s just a bit clingy at the moment.” “Then,” Cheerilee said slowly, “why are you here?” “Me?” Discord suddenly changed shapes once more, into a foal-sized version of himself dressed in the garb of an old Nickertorian-era Trottingham newspaper colt. “Today, I am but a humble messenger.” He reverted back to his standard appearance. Cheerilee ignored the performance. “And what is the message?” “Ah, well…”