//------------------------------//
// A Busy Sunday 
// Story: Mark My Words 
// by Goldfur 
//------------------------------//

Equestria’s formal arrival to my home world would take place in a month, after which free time would be at a premium. Over the past several weeks, various last-minute emergencies pulled me or Twilight Sparkle away from taking our next scheduled inter-dimensional excursion. While I was mildly disappointed, the impatient tapping of the purple mare’s hoof emphasized how much she looked forward to today’s trip to an alternate Equestria. Behind me, Penumbra and Smolder kept their conversation down to whispers. My third herdmate and bodyguard wore her familiar Royal Guard armor while my daughter-in-law was garbed in a tailored gray business suit.

It was now tradition to bring along someone not in our core team and the young dragoness gave a convincing argument why she should be next. Several, in fact, along with an audio-visual summary of her qualifications; a magically animated presentation (arranged beforehoof with Trixie); and powerful testimony from the Canterlot Castle Exchequer, Chairponies of both the Large and Small Equestrian Business Associations, and Xyrdur – the President of the First Draconian Bank. When that dragoness wanted something, she went the extra mile to convince you!

The nanosecond that Shining Armor’s nose appeared in the doorway of the portal excursion chamber, his sister’s wings flared in exasperation. “Finally! BBBFF, are you ready or not?!”

The unicorn stallion stopped in his tracks and then gave me a smirk. “Did our resident im-perious, im-pertinent, im-patient, im-princess think I wasn’t going to show?”

I smiled. “It’s been almost two months of one thing or another. What do you think?”

Shining gave me a mock salute before hustling to his designated spot in front of likely version 11.2 of the multi-dimensional portal. After several seconds, he glanced over to his sister, who frowned at doubtless version 28.7 of her control panel. Her magic flipped switches and turned dials while her eyes scanned dozens of readouts and scrolling paper strips.

The unicorn chuckled. “Gee, sis. If I had known you wouldn’t be ready…” Whatever else he meant to say got derailed. Without looking up from her task, Twilight stretched both wings toward Shining and curled back all but the second primary.

While Shining gaped in shock, the rest of us burst out laughing, Penumbra rolling on the floor holding her stomach. Eventually, Twilight pulled her wings back and her sputtering brother found his voice. “Where did … Mark, did you teach my little Twily to do that?”

“He didn’t have to,” said the purple mare. “I’m more than capable of displaying the ‘Wait One Minute’ gesture from Mark’s homeworld.”

All laughter stopped and everyone else looked between each other. I could practically hear ‘Not it’ echo between us at a psychic level. No one volunteered to educate the Princess of Books.

Twilight Sparkle grinned and pushed a final button with a flourish, causing the portal to dutifully open with a swirling cascade of silvery light. “Or in this case, I thought I might need two minutes, so I gave you ‘The Finger’ twice.” That’s when she noticed all of us staring at her. “What?”

Lots of coughing and getting to our proper positions.

Shining charged his horn and looked forward. “No time for that, we’re behind schedule.” Before his sister could form a response, he leaped through the portal.

Twilight furrowed her brows and faced me. I deliberately ignored her implied question and said, “Tell me when.” My voice quavered more than a little. Penumbra came up to my side, her face expressing nothing but steadfast professionalism. This was somewhat ruined by the ‘accidental’ swat on my rump by her wings settling into position.

The alicorn frowned then shifted her gaze to the readouts. A few seconds later, she said, “Go.”

I walked through and stopped next to Shining Armor as he adjusted the frequency of his shield. I could then feel a gentle night breeze and the familiar lavender hue of the protective dome became transparent. That revealed the familiar nighttime view of the Canterlot Castle gardens … no, that wasn’t quite right.

Thanks to my daughter Orchard Breeze … well … the daughter I sired with Applejack. Anyway, thanks to Orchard Breeze’s passion for all types of flowers, I recognized what was different about this version of Equestria. Moonflower vines wove their way across hedges. The white, many-petaled Queen of the Night flowers decorated a patch of succulents. Scarlet Night Lillies lay scattered in every flower patch. The powerful aroma of Tuberose wafted across the gardens. What surprised me more was the abundance of flowers that should only bloom during the day: Sweetsickle, Luminaria, Day Chasers, and Southern Bygones.

I heard Penumbra gasp and Shining Armor whistle. As Smolder came through the portal, Penny said, “Mark, if you remake the castle gardens to look like this, I will make all of your dreams come true for a week.” She took a deep sniff of the fragrant air. “Scratch that … for an entire month.”

Twilight joined us and examined the area. “This is … wow! This is very impressive. I’ve never seen the gardens look this vibrant at night … or anytime for that matter!”

I said, “That’s not the impressive part.” I pointed a hoof at a wooden trellis covered by dark blue and bright yellow flowers. “Those are Midnight Creeper and Sun Twiners. Neither have chlorophyll and are parasitic. Except I don’t see a host plant. Granted the Twiner is a root parasite, but the Creeper is a stem parasite so what we’re seeing should not be possible!” I turned to see everyone staring at me, their heads tilted at the same angle. “What?”

Twilight cleared her throat. “Mark, I didn’t know that.”

Smolder asked, “How, precisely, did you become so knowledgeable regarding plants?”

“Well, I am an alicorn. Earth pony aspect and all that.” The silence drew out until I caved with a sigh. “Applejack and I are encouraging our daughter’s interest in flowers. I’ve been studying.” After more silence, I added, “A lot.”

I was surrounded by nothing but skeptical expressions. “Listen, all I’m saying is that powerful earth pony magic is being used to rewrite the rules of nature...” I turned to stare back at the garden. “… to absolutely breathtaking effect.”

Two spots of darkness resolved into turquoise eyes. “I am most gratified that my hard work is so appreciated.” The rest of a Prussian Blue alicorn resolved from the shadows. “Dimension travelers, yes? I bid you all welcome to the domain of the Two Sisters.”

Luna stopped just outside the shield dome enveloping our party. She stood in front of Shining and smiled. “I guarantee your safety with my honor, General Armor. Please release your spell.”

The unicorn stallion raised his head slightly. “Twily? Mark?”

I shared a look with Twilight and we both nodded. I said, “Go ahead.”

After the shield winked out, our hostess bowed while keeping her eyes on Shining. “I am Queen Luna and rule with my sister, Queen Celestia. From your reactions, I take it I have counterparts on your dimensional plane?”

Twilight beamed. “That’s right! But my mentor and her sister have retired from their royal positions. I am Princess Twilight Sparkle. Prince Mark Wells, Princess Trixie Lulamoon, and I rule our Equestria in a triarchy. I. see you are already familiar with my brother and Prince of the Crystal Principality Shining Armor. Our other companions are Ambassador Smolder and Captain Penumbra of the Royal Guard.”

Luna bowed to each of us in turn. “I am pleased to welcome all of you to our realm. Know that my sister and I hold civility and improving relations of the highest importance. Let me know if there is anything I can do to make your visit more pleasant.” She smiled at Penny and let out a series of chirps, clicks, and hisses.

My bodyguard blinked. “I’m sorry, Your Majesty. I do not speak or understand High Changeling.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “My apologies. I was addressing you in the native tongue of all thestrals … well, of thestrals in this dimension. With my sister’s help, I created the race nine hundred years ago. I take it your genesis followed different means?”

I gave a warning glance to Twilight and Penny and decided to step in. “It did indeed. We would be delighted to accept your invitation. We will have to limit this initial trip to just two hours, however.”

“Inherent portal instability, I take it? Very well. We shall need to move things along. With your permission, I could teleport everyone to the Royal Receiving Salon.”

No one had any objections. Twilight said, “That would be wonderful. Thank you, Your Majesty.”

Luna spread her wings. “Everyone closer, please. With a party this large, it is easier when everyone is in contact with me.”





The Royal Receiving Salon proved to be much more laid back than our equivalent meeting space. Luna invited us to relax on low, wide chaise lounges scattered about the room. Equally wide and low tables made this a space where two dozen ponies could easily face each other and have a place to put their drinks or snacks. Bay windows led to a huge balcony, complete with similar furniture. The other walls contained mirrors and built-in drawers. Oddly, mirrors also covered most of the ceiling.

Luna practically flowed onto one of the lounges and raised a hoof. “My dear Sergeant Ivory Tower, would you please arrange for refreshments for our guests?”

The earth pony stallion bowed. “It would be my pleasure, Luna.”

After the stallion left, I asked, “Are your soldiers always so informal, Your Majesty?”

The blue mare shifted to get comfortable. “That is one of their many wonderful qualities. Our Equestria prides itself on promoting friendship and empathy between all. This has allowed us to maintain peaceful relations among the many races of our world.”

That piqued my curiosity. “We haven’t been so lucky. For example, the unicorn warlord Sombra attempted to conquer Equestria twice, as did the changeling queen Chrysalis. Did the same happen here?”

“Ah, yes. Quite the naughty stallion, that one. Contingents of dragons, ponies, and diamond dogs overwhelmed his forces. While Celestia distracted Sombra, I subdued him with a nullstone horn ring. He now enjoys the hospitality of the Canterlot Spa. His house arrest will not end until he sees reason. In the meantime, Queen Cadance and our dashing Shining Armor hold the kingdom in their receivership.”  She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “The citizens have grown quite fond of their new rulers. Let’s not tell Sombra that his past subjects are most unlikely to elect him back to his former office.”

Luna winked at me, and I gave the universal hoof-across-the-lips gesture. That secret was safe with me. 

Queen Luna tilted her head. “I am not familiar with the term ‘changeling,’ which your bodyguard also mentioned. Is this another species in your world?”

Twilight said, “Yes, Your … Yes, Luna. They resemble ponies but have an insectoid appearance. The drones have compound eyes and their princesses and hive queen have slit pupils similar to a cat.”  

“Ah! You mean ‘Good Fortune Ponies.’ Tradition holds that their appearance is a harbinger of good tidings. They are treated to a party in their honor and receive the good wishes of many ponies before they depart the next day.” 

Penumbra remarked, “Well, that would certainly promote friendly relations between your races.”  Somehow, she said this with a straight face. 

The blue mare reclined back in her seat. “Speaking of friendly relations, I’m afraid my sister will not be able to join us. She has been engaged in grueling negotiations with the Yak delegation for the last three days and it has taken everything out of her.”

Twilight practically beamed. “The negotiations have been successful, I take it?”

Luna grinned. “From what I have heard, they have been most fruitful.”

My co-ruler clapped her hooves and let out an adorable giggle. “Your Majesty, this dimension takes the Magic of Friendship to a level no other has achieved. Do … do you think I can learn how you and your sister accomplished this?”

Luna’s smile grew wider. “I would be glad to teach you, but first …” Her horn lit and the room’s double doors opened. “… we celebrate our growing fondness for each other!”

Attractive pony servants of both genders wheeled in carts laden with chocolate, fruits, peppers, and other delicacies. The cart that stopped in front of me carried a large carafe with dozens of colored lines swirling across its surface. Curious, I touched a yellow line, causing it to glow brightly. Tipping the carafe resulted in a measured amount of the same-colored liquid to pour into a waiting shot glass.

I picked up the shooter and examined the drink within. The yellow liquid matched the now unlit line on the flask. I offered the glass to Penny, getting the expected scowl in return. Penny never drank while on duty.

Turning away from my herdmate, I took a sniff, a sip, and then smacked my lips. “This is the finest mango liqueur I’ve ever tasted.” I heard a pained whine behind me.

The maid who had pushed in the cart curtseyed. “Thank you. Equestria strives to provide only the finest we can offer to our honored guests. All in the name of Friendship!” I didn’t have to turn my head to know which of our party let out a happy squeal behind me.

Studying the flask, I found the expected line that changed color between blue, red, and purple. I touched it and filled a new shooter with multi-colored liquid. After a taste, I waved a hoof. “Shining, come over here and tell me what you think.”

My friend took a sip, and his suspicious look was replaced by one of genuine surprise. “This tastes like… no... tastes better than Crystal Principality Twenty Year Reserve. The Empire has been making crystal berry spirits for centuries.” He turned to face our hostess. “You didn’t break open a keg of Arcane Distiller’s Masterpiece, did you? I’ve heard the stories told about it but none of his handiwork from a century before the city’s banishment is left in my world.”

The dark alicorn nodded. “Most impressive, young stallion. Your counterpart in this dimension does not have the skills of a sommelier, while I see you have mastered them. Know that I am the Mistress of Dreams, and I include in my duties the task of making dreams come true. I am sincerely gratified that your visit has fulfilled one of them… so far.” She uncoiled from the couch and stood in front of my friend. “Tell me, when you were a young soldier, did you ever dream to put on the armor of Commander Hurricane?”

Shining gasped and stammered. “I… well… every colt who goes into the military has that fantasy. It’s only natural, really.” While the unicorn was distracted, I saw a few badly concealed grins on the stallion guards and valets.

Luna stood and curtsied. “I would be honored if you permit me to guide you from personal dream to reality.”

“Uh…”

She lifted her head and smiled broadly. “Truly, nothing would make me happier.”

The unicorn blushed and shuffled in place. “Well, I suppose…”

“Splendid!” The lunar alicorn touched his chest with a wing and they disappeared with a pop of inrushing air.

Smolder came up to my side, holding out a cupped hand. “Mark, these are fire opals from the Peaks of Peril. In our Equestria, between their scarcity and the Kirin’s possessiveness, you can only find them in the highest-end jewelry.”

I grinned back at my daughter-in-law. “So, you’re torn between making these the pinnacle of your hoard and chowing down.”

She hesitated, then picked up the smallest with the claws of her other hand. “Well, maybe just one more.” She popped it in her mouth and let out a delighted hum.

A maid approached me levitating a tray piled high with varied chocolates. “Can I tempt you to sample my wares? I made them fresh this morning!” She looked uncannily like… I looked at her cutie mark… it was her!

The mare caught where my eye had roamed and smiled wider, giving her rear a little shake. I said, “Thank you, Fleur. I’d love to try one. Which would you recommend?” To my left, Penny growled. I had a pretty good idea why given this flirtatious mare in front of me.

It seemed that this world’s Fleur De Lis did as well. “Doctor De Lis prescribes a dark chocolate ganache truffle for the handsome stallion and candied mango bonbon for his most dedicated bodyguard.”

After we both took the offered chocolates, Penny raised an eyebrow. “No alcohol?”

The unicorn mare held up a hoof and made a familiar gesture. “Filly Scout’s Honor! While I do have a line of infused confections, that would be a bit redundant when the finest vintages are already available for our guests.” She gently clapped her hoof on her forehead. “Oh, je suis tellement oublieux! How could I forget my duties so? Would either of you care to try the Chateau Bout Du Nez, Year of the Sisters 987? I understand it is très merveilleux!”

Penny gave me a warning glare and I shrugged. Fine with me if she wanted to be my Royal Taste Tester. She chewed her bonbon carefully while looking up and to the right. After several seconds, Penumbra nodded and helped herself to my truffle. A full half-minute later, she gave her verdict. “She can stay. I’ll need another sample… or two… of both.”

“But of course!” said Fleur while extending the tray closer.

Soon, Penny and I sat on one of the low couches, a glass of excellent wine held in my right hoof. My levitation magic had been officially roped into the role of maintaining a holding pattern for a dozen chocolates Penumbra had selected to try next… along with several on my list. I heard a deep voice. “Would the lady care for a quick oiling and rubdown of your beauteous and unparalleled wings?”

“Not while I’m on d—”

Penny’s words of protest died in her throat when she saw the speaker. An imposing specimen of a black pegasus crouched next to her. While Dusky Wings had practically no body fat, the muscle definition on this stallion put the Colonel to shame. Although it could have been an effect of the oils rubbed onto his body and feathers, I doubted that was the case. If Rarity had accompanied us on this trip, she would not have let the pegasus out of her sight until he agreed to model her next line of fashions for stallions.

“Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Implied Consent, and I am the Master Castle Masseur. I would be forever in your debt if I could provide effleurage and petrissage to your magnificent flying membranes. Truly, in all my years, no pony with the like has graced my massage table.” He gave her a cheeky grin. “Can you think of a more pleasant way to spend your time while my subordinates work on your princess?” A glance showed he was correct. Twilight Sparkle lay stretched out on a low couch as three stallions massaged her wings and back. Happy moans let us know what she thought of the pampering. Beyond her, an earth pony mare applied a file to Smolder’s foot talons while chattering with the dragoness.

Penumbra pursed her lips. After a bit, she said, “Very well. Unlike our now-vacationing Triarch, I am still on duty. Restrict yourself to my wings only.”

The stallion gave a fluid bow and moved to a spot behind and to the left of my mate. “I am your humble servant, Miss…?”

“Penumbra. And it’s ‘Captain’.” She extended her left wing and returned her attention to me. “Pardon the interruption, Your Highness. Please continue.”

I narrowed my eyes. While my herdmate would often use my formal title during interdimensional excursions, my intuition told me she was picking up on something I wasn’t. Regardless, I turned back to Fleur De Lis. “So, you are a chocolatier in this dimension. In mine, you are a fashion model, the most famous in Equestria, in fact.”

“Oh, sir.” She giggled. She lifted a curl of hair behind an ear as she blushed. “You are quite the flirt, if I may be so bold as to tell you. But you are correct. I am very proud to say all the ingredients in my confections are locally sourced.”

“I was being perfectly serious,” I protested. “I do have a question, though I hesitate to ask as it might be inappropriate.”

She beamed. “Please feel welcome here, Mark. No question is inappropriate in our realm.”

“Thank you.” I smiled back. “How do you get cacao trees to grow in Equestria?”

“What?” She leaned back and furrowed her brows. “What?  What did you say?”

I waved a hoof. “All cocoa powder in my Equestria comes from Zebrica, where they know how to keep secrets. Our Princess Celestia has earned the trust of a few families who have acted as her political agents for generations. They clam up faster than a cragadile biting a stick whenever the subject of ‘chocolate’ comes up. My earth pony daughter has made the cocoa tree one of her hobbies. However, between soil moisture and acidity, temperature gradients, symbiotic root fungi, insect and animal pests, tree diseases, differing levels of sunlight during the growing season, etc., etc., she, and by extension, all of Equestria has never gotten close to making a decent product.” I sighed. “During the last trade dispute with Zebrica, ponies had to resort to substituting with carob for three months.”

The beautiful mare stuck her tongue out. “Ugh! I can’t… that’s awful! Let me…” She turned her head and called out “TEMPS! Get over here!” The unicorn smiled. “Temperate Growth is my partner and is an absolute genius at producing the finest cocoa beans in all of Equus, and all year round! My special talent is to take the product from powder to finished product.”

An earth pony mare with a dark green coat and dark brown mane and tail trotted up. She practically bounced on her hooves and her tail swished happily. “Yes, Dear?”

The unicorn tilted her head my way. “Mark has a question for you… well, for the both of us.”

Temperate Season looked me up and down then smiled wider. “Oh, and what would that question be?”

Fleur drew out the silence for a few seconds then said, “What is the ideal soil ribozyme balance for late-season cocoa pod yields?”

The earth pony’s smile fell, and she blinked. “What? What did you say?”

“His daughter wants to learn everything there is to know about growing cocoa trees. Their Equestria hasn’t gotten past the ‘tastes like moldy carob’ level of cocoa powder quality.”

“Oh! OK, umm…” She turned to face me. “Your daughter is welcome to join me when I go to my greenhouses every morning. I start an hour before dawn. I hope she doesn’t mind getting up early.”

I floated another bonbon from Fleur’s tray into the ring of delectable perfection orbiting nearby. “Quite the opposite. Her mother tells me the trick is to get Orchard Breeze to sleep at all. She’s still searching for her cutie mark and would dedicate every hour of the day and night to that quest if Applejack allowed it.”

Fleur drew Temperate into a hug. “Hah! That doesn’t change with adulthood. Sometimes I have to go to extreme lengths to get my business partner and best friend to come to bed.”

The earth pony mare gave the unicorn a gentle poke in the ribs with the tip of her hoof. “You’re a fine one to talk, Miss ‘I can’t get the creaminess quite right on my new creation! There are only six weeks before the Chocolate Olympiad!’”

“You know I have to keep reinventing myself every year. Those hippogriff brothers, that parrot, and Abyssinian could have easily won last year. Me, I’ll have to innovate if I’m going to get that tenth gold ribbon.” The unicorn’s voice took on a facetious tone. “I mean, sure, you make perfect cocoa beans and powder every season, what’s the big deal?”

Her partner gasped and held a hoof to her chest. “Excuse me? Are you forgetting the hours I put into testing and categorizing every batch of cocoa so you can adjust and select the perfect match for each creation? Am I going senile already?”

They both stopped, shared a look, and gave me sheepish grins. Fleur tittered and put a hoof to her lips. “Please forgive us, sir. This is an old argument, and we aren’t catering to you at all.”

I waved a hoof. “No, please don’t let me stop you. Your antics are quite entertaining. Feel free to continue.”

The two mares gave me the same, penetrating stare. Temperate Season shifted her gaze to Penny. “Your Mark isn’t like other stallions, is he?”

Penumbra furled her left wing and opened her right, prompting her masseur to scramble to the other side. “He may have been dropped on his head as a foal… perhaps several times… perhaps on purpose. We’ll likely never know. Still, his six wives are happy enough with the end result to keep him around.”

“Six wives!” they both exclaimed. Fleur said, “My bestie and I have been jabbering long enough… for your entertainment. Now you get to entertain us by sharing how you ensnared or were ensnared by six wives.”

Temperate snagged a truffle from the levitating plate and held it out to me. “While you give your honest opinion of our wares.”





Ten minutes later, the double doors to the room opened to reveal a scowling Shining Armor. Frequent trips with my foals to the Royal Canterlot Museum let me recognize his barding as that once worn by Commander Hurricane. Beside him floated Queen Luna encased in a bubble of his magenta aura. She was protesting, trying to convince my friend to reconsider. I couldn’t make out any more of what she was saying because the stallion guards were falling all over themselves laughing.

Luna turned her attention to them. “What are you fools doing? Your Queen needs your assistance!”

One guard struggled to his hooves and wiped tears away with a forehoof. “He — ha, ha, ha! — He… he said ‘No’, Luna.”

The other guard said, “It’s right there in the Precepts:  Every being has the right to ask to make love and every being has the right to refuse.”

Twilight’s ears perked up from her spot underneath the three stallions attending her. “Wait. What was that?”

“The Precepts of Harmony, of course!” said the masseur straddling her back and attending to her withers with a gentle percussion of his hooves. He leaned over her a bit more. “It’s the basis of the Magic of Friendship.” He glanced at his two companions who gave knowing nods. He must have missed seeing the purple mare’s eyes go wide. He said, “The three of us are most familiar with your counterpart in this world… although that hardly makes us unique.”  The stallion scooted down her back. “Shall we move on to your favorite—”

Any further words he meant to say were cut off by Twilight’s aura wrapping his mouth closed and lifting him off of her. The same happened to the other two masseurs.

Penumbra, Smolder, and I took one look at Twilight’s blushing face and just about died laughing. When I could get my breath back, I said, “Say there, Princess of Friendship, do you think—” A familiar lavender aura clamped my muzzle shut, much to the further merriment of my herdmate and daughter-in-law.

Shining Armor carried his reluctant cargo back to where she had been lounging previously and released her from his magic.

Luna waved her hooves above her head. “But… I don’t understand!”  She looked at me with pleading eyes. “I heard what your bodyguard told you. And you sired a filly with Applejack. Your dimension regards sex the same as ours — as a way to deepen common bonds and friendship!”

Smolder said, “My father-in-law’s debt to Rainbow Dash led to his twice siring a foal in her wife, and Penumbra is one of Prince Mark’s six wives.”

Luna’s ears perked forward in interest.

Penny’s smile showed all her fangs. “Of which, the latest is a Princess Luna from another dimension.”

Luna’s head drooped and she covered her face with her hooves. “I am destined to die a spinster — forever denied what I most desire.”

I teleported to the opposite side of my couch to free myself from Twilight’s magic. “So, what’s this spinster talk?”

Fleur and Temperate walked up to my sides while two guards gave consoling hugs to their sovereign. Fleur said, “Some years ago, our Shining Armor came of age and reached the rank of General. He caught the eye of Queens Luna and Cadance, resulting in a captivating battle for his attention. He decided on the Crystal Empire Queen who whisked him off to her realm where he rules as King by her side. The married couple have an antiquated and rather strict view on monogamy.”

The earth pony mare added, “Exotic, but not unheard of.”

Shining said, “So this seemed like your one chance to ‘make your dream come true’. My condolences, Your Majesty, but my Cadance likewise holds a place in my heart no other mare may occupy.”

He unbuckled the peytral and cruppers and placed them to the side. Shining then levitated the helmet and crinet off of his head and neck. “Thank you for the opportunity to wear Commander Hurricane’s armor.” While his words were polite, his tone was clipped and formal. “That is a memory I will cherish always. Now, I regretfully must take my leave.”

“Wait.” Luna nodded to the two guards beside her who returned to their stations by the door. The blue alicorn stood and faced my friend. “I would be a poor representative of my Equestria if I could not accept your refusal, Prince Shining Armor. I apologize for my… indiscretion. I shall not so trouble you again.”

My friend nodded, though the corded muscles in his neck betrayed his true mood.

Luna’s magic floated her crown to the nearest wall where it settled into a recess. Below, a wide mirrored panel dropped down to reveal an intricately carved red wooden stand holding a sheathed sword. As they drifted towards the blue alicorn, I noticed that her magic only touched the stand. The decorations on the scabbard and hilt, although finely wrought, looked … plain. That did not explain the excited whispering among the servants and guards.

Luna gripped the stand with both hooves. “While I admit personal disappointment, I admire your conviction, Prince Shining Armor. I gift to you the final sword made by Steadfast the Enchanter.”

Fleur and Temperate gasped and grabbed my withers. Similar reactions came from the rest of this world’s ponies. I shared a look with Twilight. Her frown confirmed that in all our travels across dimensions, neither of us had heard of this pony weaponsmith.

My unicorn friend clenched his jaw. “Thank you very much for the offer, Your Majesty. However, I must respectfully —”

Luna interrupted with a touch of the Royal Canterlot Voice. Her mane and tail turned a shade darker. “There shall not be peace between our realms if you refuse this gift.”

The silence was total while Shining Armor and Luna stared each other down. The tension broke when my friend bowed. “Thank you, Your Majesty. On behalf of all those in my dimension, I accept your generous gift in the hopes our citizens forever know the joys of friendship.”

Penumbra caught my eye and nodded toward Twilight. My co-ruler’s cheeks turned red again. It might be a while until the word “friendship” stopped having that extra meaning.

When Shining Armor’s hooves touched the sword, I saw and heard a spark. He jerked and his eyes widened.

With the same strident voice, Luna declared, “May it protect you at all times so that you may forever serve your Crystal Empire and return to your true love, Princess Cadance Mi Amore Cadenza.”

The unicorn stallion blinked a few times and swayed on his hooves. Luna strode past him, perhaps accidentally brushing against his side with a wing. “Princess Sparkle. Is there a means to create a permanent portal between our realms? My sister will want to visit with all of you at a time of your convenience… after she recovers.”

“What? Oh! Of course, Your Majesty.”

The blue alicorn held up a hoof. “Please, just Luna. We are all friends here.”

Twilight smiled. “OK, Luna. Here are the two sapphires that I’ve enchanted for just that purpose. Based on our experience, we always set up a redundant portal. That’s because…”

I was distracted from the conversation by kisses on either cheek.

Fleur said, “Don’t be a stranger, Mark. Come by any time.”

Temperate Season looked in my eyes. “The offer for your daughter to come visit is always open. Please take advantage of it. Who knows? Maybe growing cocoa trees will be her special talent.”

“Or making chocolate!” Added the unicorn mare with a grin.

“Oh, it’s always about you, isn’t it?” Teased her partner.

“As it should be. Who cares about the ingredients? All that anyone cares about is the finished product.”

Their grins and intertwined tails let me know this was another old and playful argument.

Next to me, Penny said, “Thank you, Implied Consent. That will be all.” She furled her right wing and stood up. The black Pegasus stallion bowed and trotted back to the other masseurs.

I cocked an eyebrow at my herdmate. “You kept getting a wing massage through all that drama?”

She shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? These ponies have their priorities straight. Best to flow with the tide rather than fight it.”

I snorted. “Tell that to Shining Armor. So, when did you figure out their… unique take on friendship?”

“The minute we came to the ‘Royal Receiving Lounge’. If you had read some of Rarity’s cheaper romance novels, you would have recognized the purpose of the room. It’s for… group parties.” I looked with fresh eyes at the low couches and tables, large pillows, and mirrors everywhere.

Penumbra whispered in my ear. “Now you have to decide whether to use this realm as an opportunity for an epic prank on the rest of our herd or as a romantic getaway.”

I whispered back, “Why would I choose just one?”





Twilight went through the portal back to our Equestria first. When the reflective surface of the dimensional gateway shimmered with a hint of green, that was our cue. My co-ruler had disabled the dimensional exclusivity filter. If she hadn’t, organic beings and large objects like Shining’s new sword would have stayed on this side of the portal. It only took one desperate battle in the portal room against a horde of parasprites to learn that lesson and plan accordingly. Plus, this prevented uninvited visitors.

After all of us transitioned back to our Equestria, Twilight shut the gateway down and let out a huge sigh. In response to my chuckle, she said, “I don’t want to hear it, Mark.” That made me laugh out loud.

Smolder moved past me – using the sunshine streaming through the window high overhead to illuminate her palm, specifically the small collection of fire opals in it. Strange. I could have sworn she had more than just those five or six. “That was fantastic, and I even got a professional talonicure! I’m so glad I chose to tag along on this trip.” She smiled. “This is the best day, ever!”

A deep voice rumbled, “As much as I like rubies, those opals are equally impressive.”

In stages, my daughter-in-law’s expression fell. She picked out the smallest of the fire opals with her claws and held it up to the sunlight, turning it this way and that, causing a cascade of rainbow colors to wash in every direction. “No,” she said. “Not this one.” The dragoness popped it into her mouth and chewed.

She plucked out another and tossed it over her shoulder. Major Dusky Wings flowed out of her shadow to catch the gem with a wing membrane.

Smolder walked toward the portal room’s exit. “My husband and I will meet you at the Lusty Mare after sundown to pay up on that beer I owe you.”

With a beat of his wings, the thestral head of the Night Guard Special Task Force disappeared into the shadows overhead.

I called after Smolder. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t notice him either.”

She didn’t bother to look back at me. “Not in the least.”

Twilight moved away from the portal terminal and stood next to her brother. “May I see that, please?”

Shining Armor had been staring into the distance but snapped his attention back to his sister. “See what?”

She frowned. “The last sword made by Steadfast the Enchanter.”

“Oh, right! Sorry!” He levitated the scabbarded sword above his sister’s lavender magic field then his magenta magic winked out. The weapon fell straight to the marble floor.

Twilight tried twice to pick up the sword. “That’s strange. BBBFF, please draw the sword for me.” Shining had no trouble retrieving the weapon with his magic and pulling the blade free of the scabbard.

Twilight tried grabbing the sword again, then her brother, then the scabbard. At her direction, he placed the scabbard on the floor. As soon as his magic let it go, Twilight’s lifted it off the floor. “Physical or magic contact required. We really should have gotten a manual with this.” She tapped her chin with a hoof.

Squinting, I could see a slight glow around the stallion even though his horn wasn’t lit. That gave me an idea. “Shining, try putting up a shield.”

He nodded. “Sure, I … whoa!” The resulting bubble was darker than normal. “This feels … much stronger, but I’m not using any more mana than usual.”

“Twilight, go back a few steps, please. Thank you. Shining, get ready.” I looked over my shoulder. “Penny, tracking band.”

The unicorn stallion’s eyes went wide and he quickly doubled the size of his shield. That would give him time to cut off the flow of magic to his horn if or when his shield failed.

The nullstone tracking band uncoiled as it flew toward Shining Armor, only to bounce off again and again with a hail of sparks. This repeated for several seconds with bits of stone or metal links occasionally falling away. With a loud pop, the band burst into several inert shards.

“Anything?” I asked the stallion.

“Much less of a strain than I expected. My shield feels two or three times as strong but something… I think the sword is taking a big part of the strain. There should have been jolts draining my magic each time the band hit my shield, but I barely felt them. Still, I wouldn’t want to face ten or fifteen of those things.” My co-ruler continued tapping her chin as her brother dropped his shield. “No, Twily, we are not trying that ‘just for the sake of Science’.”

Twilight waved an airy hoof. “Of course not. Plenty of time for those experiments later. Shiny, would you place the sword at my hooves, please?”

After he did so and released it, she encased the weapon in her lavender field. “OK. Try just willing it back to your hoof … Ow!” Her magic dissipated with a pop.

Shining gasped with the sword hilt firmly in his grip. “Sis! Are you alright?”

Twilight winced and rubbed a hoof to her forehead. “Yes, yes. Just surprised mostly.” She moved closer. “Well, that answers that question. The sword disrupts unicorn magic. Enough to counter an alicorn-strength shield.” She stopped a full body length away. “Now point the blade toward me and concentrate on holding it steady.”

Her brother chose to do so by using two hooves to grab the grip. That made sense given the unpredictability of what he held.

As her magic swept over the blade repeatedly, her ears perked upward higher and higher. She grinned and clopped her forehooves together then did a little shimmy. Penny nudged me with an elbow. When I looked her way, she mouthed out the word ‘adorable’. I grinned back. My herdmate had read my thoughts exactly.

After a few minutes, Twilight’s horn aura winked out. “BBBFF, this is an amazing artifact!  I recognize some of the protective spells woven in:  rapid slowing of incoming projectiles; air in a vacuum or otherwise hostile environment; protection from heat, cold, electricity, and acid. Some defensive and all offensive capabilities are shielded, which makes sense. You’ll need to go back and ask Queen Luna about those.”  With her gaze fixed on the sword, she missed her brother’s shocked expression. Trust Twilight Sparkle to ignore any social implications when focused on novel magic.

And trust Penny to get everyone back on track. “So, are we done for today? Just going to play with our toys rather than visiting the second dimension on our schedule?”

Shining picked up the scabbard and slid his sword into it. “I had no way to alert any of you when… if I got into trouble. We aren’t going anywhere without better precautions.” 

I remembered one of the inventions made by Twilight’s research teams. “The spec ops band?”  

The white stallion nodded. “One that is tuned to a unique frequency, just for our group.”  He pointed at the band visible on his right fetlock. “Our current bands can connect to Twilight’s across the portal to give the all clear … and that’s it. As soon as I left the… party room…”  Next to me, Penumbra coughed to regain her composure. “… it was out of range.”

I said, “Can the spec ops bands be altered to work across the dimensional portal?”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Eventually. For now, we’ll have to use the originals.” Her horn lit and a box appeared in her hoof. After opening the lid, she levitated out four bands, passing one each to Shining, Penumbra, and myself. 

As I placed it on my left fetlock opposite the cross-dimensional band, the spec-ops band shimmered and disappeared. I could still feel its light compression on my skin. I observed the bands the rest of the party put on likewise turn invisible. 

Twilight said, “Thanks, BBBFF. We should have been wearing these ages ago. No time like the present!”

Penumbra put on her training ground instructor voice. “Let’s review. Press to activate. One long vibration – Immediate danger. Two short vibrations – Come to me right away. The bracelet will then vibrate strongest in the direction you need to go. Three short vibrations – Retreat. In our case, get back through the portal.”  

I pointed to the scabbarded sword. “You taking that with you?” 

Shining pursed his lips and then looked at his sister. “Twily?  Would you mind teleporting me to my family’s chambers, specifically my office?”

Twilight grinned and put a hoof on his withers. “Don’t want little Camellia playing with your latest toy?  She’s only a year old.”

He snorted. “And too clever by half. Takes after her mother. Even with the enchantments linking me to this blade exclusively, I don’t want to take that risk.” The pair teleported away with an inrush of air. I had to agree with Shining’s caution. While his third daughter (so far) was still tiny, her focus was laser-sharp. The little unicorn could pay no mind to the world for hours until she puzzled out every way possible to play with a new toy. I had to disagree with her father in one area – little Camellia took after her auntie, not her mom.

Seconds later the pair reappeared in the portal excursion room. Twilight teleported the dozen or so feet and set to work adjusting the portal controls. As Shining took his place immediately in front of the mirror, I turned to my third wife. “So, Penny. Do you think my co-ruler is in a hurry because she’s eager to get in a second portal exploration today, or does she want to remove the taste in her mouth from the last trip?”

I had made sure to say this loud enough for Twilight to hear, which was confirmed by her twitching ears. 

Penny showed me her fangs. “Maybe, maybe not. That Luna set an example for Equestrian princesses that’s hard to follow.”

“Ready,” said Twilight. She jabbed the red button on her console and growled, “Any time, BBBFF.”

“Ma’am!  Yes, Ma’am!” Shining fired off a salute and then jumped through the portal. 





My bodyguard and I emerged into a familiar scene visible past Shining Armor’s shield – the Canterlot Castle gardens at midday. 

Penny got our attention and pointed to a flight of pegasi over the city wearing dull gray armor. “Are those Crystal Guard troops?”  

Shining Armor followed her gaze. “Yes, they are. That’s an obsolete design from King Sombra’s reign right before Cadance and I took over. I also see patrols wearing the old Solar Guard and Night Guard regalia. That’s very odd.”

Nothing else appeared out of the ordinary while we waited to be noticed. About a minute later, a gardener earth pony did just that and fled to the castle. A squad of unicorns in dark blue and silver Night Guard armor galloped into the gardens and halted a dozen pony-lengths away. I cleared my throat and opened my mouth to speak.

The Major leading the group interrupted me. “Please wait until their Majesties arrive.”

Shining and I exchanged a look. He held up his right fetlock and I nodded before he pressed it. The situation appeared tense but not overtly hostile. It was safe for my co-ruler to come through. Soon, Twilight stood next to her brother as they exchanged quiet words. During that time, teams of gold-clad and gray-clad soldiers arrived, setting up in separate zones around the shield bubble. 

Penumbra whispered into my ear. “Odd that the Solar, Night, and Crystal Guard troops stay apart and don’t communicate with each other.”  I nodded my agreement. 

The three groups of soldiers parted to allow this world’s Celestia, Luna, and Cadance to approach. Each wore a full set of armor matching their soldier’s designs. The alicorns stopped outside our shield and waited. None showed any emotional reaction to the four of us, making me wonder how history had played out in this dimension.

Twilight took the lead. “Greetings, Your Majesties Celestia, Luna, and Cadance.”

“My name is Mi Amore Cadenza,” said this world’s Cadance sharply.

Twilight gave her a slight bow. “Ah. Thank you for the correction, Your Majesty.” She scanned across the three rulers. “My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle and I come from a parallel Equestria to spread the Magic of Friendship across dimensions. We seek to gain knowledge of this realm and to provide aid and understanding where we are permitted. My fellow Triarch Prince Mark Wells, his bodyguard Captain Penumbra, and Prince Shining Armor of the Crystal Principality wish to open relations with your realm to promote Harmony across our worlds.”  She finished with a beaming smile.

“All troops, stand down!” yelled Celestia, followed quickly by similar orders from Luna and Cadance. Yeah, I’ll continue to call her that in my head instead of the full title this one preferred. 

Queen Luna said, “Please lower your shield, Prince Armor. I believe I speak for all the queens when I say we accept your offer. We shall convene in the Throne Room.” 

With that, the three alicorns took wing and flew toward the palace, each surrounded by the pegasi of their guard.

A major from each faction approached the shield, which Shining Armor allowed to dissipate. The Night Guard major said, “If you would please follow us, Your Highnesses.”

Twilight let out a delighted laugh and reached out with her wings to touch everypony in our party. “Oh, I’ve already checked the castle for magic wards. There’s no need!”  Just as my mind connected the dots, her horn flashed and the four of us stood in the center of this world’s Throne Room. 

Shining Armor said, “Twily, I think they wanted us to walk here.”

The purple mare frowned. “Really?  I guess I missed that.”

I looked around the chamber. Empty of ponies, extra decorations, guest seating, or nearly anything else. The stained glass depicted only the three rulers: No Mane Six; no Discord or Tirek or Sombra; not even ponies worshiping the alicorns. 

Penumbra frowned. “These three certainly have a high opinion of themselves.” 

I couldn’t argue. “These versions also seem to be sticklers on formality. I think it would be best to do the same.”

Perhaps five minutes later, the three rulers entered simultaneously from different doors and flew up to their respective thrones stretching across the wide dais. After they sat down, I bowed and addressed them as a group. “Thank you for receiving us, Your Majesties.”  

Queen Celestia occupied the central throne and waved a hoof. “It is my… our pleasure to entertain royalty from another Equestria. I take it you are looking for allies and trade partners across realms?”

Twilight said, “If it pleases the Triarchy, then yes. Also, we would like to trade information. We have provided warnings of potential threats and details about resources that may be unknown to you. In my role as Princess of Friendship, I study the many ways Harmony manifests itself across dimensions.”

Luna stood and began descending the steps. “A splendid idea.”  She looked to the side. “Servants!  Wine and refreshments!”  The other two rulers hastened to catch up and likewise called out the same instructions. Surprising me not in the least, even the waiters and their food and drink carts sported the livery of one of the three rulers. 

Our party made small talk with Celestia, Luna, and Cadance for a while with the three queens deflecting topics of any importance. During a brief lull when no one spoke with me, Penumbra caught my eye, making a slight head gesture toward the nearest waiter followed by her pressing her lips together. I gave her the smallest of nods as I sampled the excellent vintage of Nearside Cellars Piony Noir. Message received. The staff were as uncommunicative as the soldiers that met us in the garden. 

“Princess Twilight tells me you have six wives, Your Highness.”  I turned to see all three rulers focused on me. Ah, here we go again. 

“That’s right, Cad… Your Majesty.”  I stopped myself from giving my now-practiced reply describing the preponderance of mares in our dimension. “Would you like me to describe them or would you prefer to see photos?”

Now all three alicorns perked their ears in my direction. “Oh, yes please!” said Cadance.

I reached into my dimensional storage to retrieve the same family photo album Trixie had shown in the insect queen dimension. Levitating it in front of me, I turned it around so all three queens could see. “My first wife and lead mare of our herd is Princess Trixie Lulamoon, the third member of our Triarchy. Our children are Gemini on her left and Spotlight on her right.”  After a few seconds of silence, I turned the page with my magic. “On the left page is the Element of Generosity and fashionista extraordinaire Rarity Belle with our daughter Pearl. Captain Penumbra is my third wife. Our son Verdant and his fiancé Yolanda haven’t told us when they’ll marry but have promised not to surprise us at the last minute or elope!” 

Shining Armor spoke up. “Even now with the ‘Dad Jokes’, Mark?”

I grinned. “Can’t help it!  I’ve got too many kids not to do so!”  I expected questions, comments, or laughs but none were forthcoming from our hosts. Mentally shrugging, I turned the page with my magic.

The next page certainly captured the rulers’ interest. They crowded close enough to stand shoulder to shoulder. I said, “This is my fourth wife, Queen Chrysalis of the Canterlot Hive. We have nearly a thousand drones together and three princesses. Obviously, I couldn’t include a photo of—”

“What… race is this?” asked Cadance.

“Chryssy is a changeling. All changelings can shapeshift, and they feed on positive emotions. You haven’t encountered them in your dimension?  Even rumors?”

Luna shook her head. “None. They don’t … must not exist here.”  She took a step back while giving a pointed stare at her co-rulers. Celestia and Cadance likewise retreated until the alicorns no longer touched.

Queen Celestia pointed at the opposite page. “And you have married my counterpart, I take it?”

All three stared at me instead of the book. I scanned my eyes across them before answering. “Yes. After retiring from ruling Equestria, Celestia explored our world for several years before returning to Canterlot and proposing.”

The white alicorn’s smile reached the corner of her eyes for the first time. “I commend your excellent judgment, Your Highness.”

Queen Luna glared at her co-ruler before turning the page with her magic. She laughed. “Ah!  I see you saved the best for last.”  

I chuckled. At least this part of the royal sisters’’ relationship was familiar. “Princess Luna is a diarch in one of the realms we aided through our excursions through Twilight’s interdimensional portal. She pursued me to be her husband until I agreed.”

Twilight stepped up next to me. “The magic involved was quite interesting! Mark’s Luna cast a poorly formed variant of Star Swirl the Bearded’s time-travel spell that trapped her in a cycle of repeating the same day over and over. Bringing her to our universe and closing the gateway broke the spell’s parasitic drain on her magic, causing the spell to collapse. The next day, we opened a portal to find… well… the next day.”

Cadance said, “Most interesting, Your Highnesses. I’m sorry to cut this meeting short, but the prospect of… trade with your realm is something the three of us must discuss further.”

Luna looked at her co-ruler with narrowed eyes before giving me a slight nod. “Thank you for showing us your family, Your Highness.”

Celestia said, “I’m sorry for the abruptness of cutting our meeting short, but Cadance is correct. We must confer.”  I didn’t miss the annoyed ear twitch at Queen Mi Amore Cadenza being addressed by anything other than her full title. The white mare levitated three bottles from the drink cart bearing golden decorations before pausing. Two bottles returned to her cart, replaced by one each from the silver and gray carts. Celestia’s aura passed a bottle to Twilight, Shining Armor, and me. “Please accept these as a token of our budding friendship.”

Twilight took the bottle in her magic and smiled as she studied the label. “Why, thank you, Your Majesty… Majesties. Scribner’s Plantation produces exceptional merlot in any dimension.”  She extended her wings. “If you like I could…”  Twilight saw me shake my head. “… ah… we could all walk back to our portal.”  

The three rulers nodded, and we paired up:  Celestia got up to speed on her counterpart’s history as mentor to Twilight, Luna asked me about the various Lunas across dimensions, and Cadance asked Shining Armor about the Crystal Principality. My friend was not volunteering the fact that he was married to our Princess Cadance. I considered pranking him with that bit of news but my gut told me not to do so.

“Farewell, welcome guests,” said Queen Luna.

Twilight said, “It’s been our pleasure!  Shall we plan to meet here again in one week?”

After a few seconds of silence, Cadance said, “It would be most ideal for us to proceed in that manner. We shall look forward to it.”  That drew glares and frowns from the other two rulers. Was it the odd phrasing?

Twilight smiled. “Splendid!  We’ll see you then.”

I said, “Twilight?”  When I had her attention, I pointed a wing at her wine bottle. She gave me a sheepish smile and allowed me to take it in my magic. The purple mare entered the portal and we waited for it to flash green.

I bowed to the triarchs. “Until next week, Your Majesties.”  The three alicorns were looking at each other and I don’t know if they heard me. Regardless, it was time to go. I passed through the portal followed by Shining Armor then Penumbra. 

“Whoa!”  I heard Twilight exclaim. Trotting up to her side, I saw her fiddling with the various knobs and dials. 

“Problem?” I asked.

“Rough transition. Don’t know why yet.”  A few seconds later, she sighed and hit the large red button. The portal shimmered and collapsed. She looked up. “Some sort of interference, maybe?  It cleared up, but I’m going to stay here and go over the printouts.”

“Before you do, what were everypony’s initial impressions?”

Shining Armor stomped a hoof. “Mark, remember when our forces mustered in the daggerscale portal room before we portaled into Las Pegasus to fight the Storm King? That’s the only time I’ve felt tension in the air like I did in that dimension.” 

Penny said, “I tried several times to strike up a conversation with the guards and waiters. Didn’t get so much as a look or a nod from any of them. They’re wound up so tight I’m afraid they’ll explode.” 

Twilight tilted her head. “Mark, you got their Luna and Celestia to at least smile a little bit. That gives us something to build on next week, even if it's not much.”  She flapped and furled her wings, obviously uncomfortable. “Their Queen Cadance was flat-out unfriendly.”

“Bordering on hostile,” added Shining Armor.

I considered. “I don’t think the dimension is a lost cause. Are we all in agreement to return next week, perhaps better prepared for a chilly reception this time?”  I got three nods in reply. 

As Twilight picked up her printouts, Shining trotted past me. “I’ve got foal-sitting duty. I’ll see you at dinner, Mark, Penny, Twily.”

Penumbra narrowed her eyes. I said, “What’s bothering you? I don’t think it’s the doctor's appointment to check on our baby.”

“I haven’t forgotten.” After a longer pause, she said, “Something stinks to the Elysian Fields. I don’t know what it is yet.”  She turned to the doorway. “Corporal Soup Sandwich. You have royal protection detail until I return.”

“Yes, Captain!”  The unicorn saluted and trotted to my side as my third wife left for the medical wing of the castle.

On the way to the Royal Suite, I reviewed the events of the interdimensional excursion in my head. What could be causing such strain between the three alicorns? And why did the situation seem familiar in some way?

I nodded to Corporal Sandwich and the attending guards. The unicorn Private Bright Beam and changeling Private Pinarius saluted as I entered my herd’s chambers. As expected, it was empty. Everypony had other obligations this afternoon and I was home a good hour early, so neither Steady Flight nor Prim Daisy greeted me. I took off my vest and hung it in my walk-in closet… or more precisely, the small section of our herd’s voluminous side room that was reserved for my male attire. 

I decided not to freshen up and instead headed to the bedroom where I took off my crown. Before I could place it on my nightstand, I heard the doors to the suite open and Chrysalis sauntered into the chamber, closing the doors behind her with the green glow of her magic. My fourth wife’s smirk told me how she planned to use the time freed up by my unexpected early return.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a red light on the nightstand. A quick look at the bedside table confirmed a particular jewel decoration glowed a steady red. I threw up an expanding shield and Chrysalis crashed into it, a dagger in her forehoof. I pressed a hoof into the spec ops band on my left pastern just as the changeling reversed her grip and shattered my shield with the heel of the dagger. My magic threw the nightstand directly into her, driving the assassin into the far wall. I shifted the nightstand to immobilize her foreleg and dagger while casting a new shield to pin the rest of her in place. What appeared to be my wife hissed at me once then chomped her teeth. I brought up a second shield to protect myself as the mare’s head exploded. I released the magic holding the assassin in place and her remains sagged to the floor with blood beginning to pool around her. The door slammed open and Corporal Soup Sandwich and the two other guards ran inside, only to stop short at the sight greeting them.

Before they could say a word, I said, “All of you, an attempt was made on my life and likely on everyone in our dimensional excursion party.”  I pointed to Soup Sandwich, “Twilight is in the excursion portal room,” then to Private Bright Beam “Shining Armor is in his chambers,” and then to Private Pinarius “Captain Penumbra is in the medical wing. Go!” The changeling flew down the corridor as Bright Beam teleported away. 

Corporal Sandwich hesitated then said, “Your safety is our primary concern. Lock the door and stay here please, Your Highness.”  He closed it and I faintly heard his teleport from the hallway. 

As I applied the residents-only lock to the door, I stopped pressing the spec ops band. I paced as I waited impatiently. If I was right, the rest of our party had already been attacked. One way or the other, the die had been cast and I had done all that I could. 

To my shock, the door opened and another Chrysalis entered. “Husband, why did you lock…”  Her voice trailed off when she saw the corpse of her doppelganger on the floor.

She turned to face me as I encased her body in an immobilizing field. I levitated the changeling into the room far enough to let me close the door. I saw surprise but not fear in her eyes.

I said, “Tell me something only the two of us would know.”

“Hmmm … Let me think.”  This Chrysalis looked up and to the side. “Let’s see… You whined like a schoolfoal during our first date in Luna’s grotto. Something about not having chitin resulting in bumps and bruises. No… that won’t work… I shared that knowledge with our herdmates.”  She was taking this situation very casually.

“Ah, yes!  We visited a mentally deprived version of myself in her house in the suburbs of Prince Baked Bean’s dimension. She thought wearing my gift of Rarity’s multicolored outfit might earn her that Pokie Poo’s undying loyalty.”  Her smile grew large. “Though I doubt the effect would be quite as strong without the headpiece, which I retained.”

I was 95% sure this was my Chrysalis. “Now tell me something I could not know.”

She smirked. “Nice try. I shall not tell you about my small acts of revenge for using that abhorrent nickname you insist on calling me.”  She looked down. “How… about… yes, that will do.”  Chrysalis stared directly into my eyes. “Not long after Grogar teleported me out of the Canterlot Castle dungeon, Tirek pulled me aside for a private chat. He told me a slot on the team of losers opened up when Sombra died, but the fool could have avoided that fate. The arrogant unicorn had stated his intention to abandon the old goat despite the ram being responsible for his resurrection. Tirek believed the unicorn’s pride had been stung from his defeat at the hoofs of a tiny foal. Sombra swore to conquer the Crystal Empire on his own.”

“That’s when Cozy Glow showed her prowess. She asked if that would be easier after Sombra personally destroyed the Elements of Harmony. When the gullible dolt asked if that meant the ponies or the jewels, she replied ‘Both.’  The pegasus mare was far more convincing than Grogar and he agreed to help with one final mission. Which was his last.”

I mulled that over. That sounded feasible on all levels – believable, even. A rapping at the sliding balcony door caught my attention. A frowning Penumbra lifted her wings in exasperation. I opened the sliding door and said, “Klutzy.”  

“Pegasus,” she replied before entering. She took in the scene before her and then nodded to our herdmate. “The second one was the charm?”  

“Yes, I just verified that. The first Chrysalis set off the jewel on my nightstand – the one Twilight Sparkle enchanted to glow when changeling magic was in use nearby.”  I dropped my shield and headed to the living room area. I hoped we would get more company soon. “You were detained?”

Penny closed the balcony door and then stood where she could watch both me and the door to our chambers. “Yes, I was. I didn’t recognize the nurse and saw she did not hold a hypodermic syringe correctly. I’m sure she felt my suspicion until the spec ops band warning removed all doubt. That was you?”  I nodded. 

“Their attacks must have been coordinated to happen simultaneously, or close to it. That means at least one was a changeling princess. I’m fairly certain mine was because she was an adept fighter. Was.”

Chrysalis grinned triumphantly. Oh, that’s right. She taught the Royal Guards how to subdue and kill changeling royalty, much to the displeasure of our allied hives. Regardless of their opinions, that training proved its value today. 

I heard pounding at the door to the Royal Suite. After I opened it with my magic, Shining Armor strode into the room on his rear hooves, wielding his gifted sword in a forehoof. He sported two thin cuts on his forelegs. He gave the corpse only a single glance while his sister jumped at the gory sight. He sheathed the blade into the scabbard at his hip and returned to all fours. “Come on, Twily.”  After she scooted past the pool of blood on the floor. Several guards filed in behind them with two focusing on the body.

“Twilight?” I asked. 

My co-ruler shook for a moment, and she took a deep breath. “I… I was still studying the printouts. I couldn’t determine the cause but found four separate power surges in quick succession right after Penumbra came through. She pointed at her left fetlock. When my band vibrated, the pieces fell into place: intruders shielded with maximum-power invisibility charms – the type that makes you blind and unable to perceive anything around you physically or magically. I blasted everything away from me with an expanding bubble shield which a Royal Guard quickly broke with nullstone. That gave me enough time to liquefy the floor and resolidify it, trapping their legs. It… she dropped her earth pony disguise revealing a red changeling princess who snarled at me before… before her head… her head exploded.”  

Shining put a foreleg around his sister to comfort her. I noticed that the cuts on his forelegs were completely healed. 

Chrysalis tilted her head. “Sergeant Sterling Shield, this is most concerning. Can you confirm Queen Carpacia did not send assassins to the castle?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. She would not have forsaken the oaths she, and by extension, every member of the Red Hive took to protect the Equestrian Empire. Still, I will verify this in person and account for all of our hive’s princesses.” He bowed and left the room.

Shining Armor said, “I sincerely doubt it was our dimension’s Carpacia who sent them. There would be no reason for her to target Captain Penumbra while she did not guard Prince Mark.”

Penny pointed to his forelegs. “I saw you were wounded.”

“Yes. I dismissed Tranquil Dreams from her foalsitting duties after getting to our suite. Cadance had taken Skyla out to the museum for the day, so it was only myself and Camellia who was sleeping in her room. When Tranquil Dreams returned, I was about to ask if she had forgotten something when the spec ops band went off. I got my shield up in time to deflect her first attack, but unlike alicorns, my magic needed time to recover after my shield shattered. My forelegs shielded me for the moment it took to summon my sword from the office. The distraction of the wall crashing down gave me time to grab the scabbard and draw my sword.”

Penumbra said, “Out of all of us, I hope you succeeded in just disabling your assassin so we could ask her questions.”  

Shining glared at my third wife. “That depends. Do you want to ask questions to her top half or bottom half?”

Chrysalis burst out laughing. She stopped and looked around the room when everyone stared at her. “Oh, come on!  That was hilarious!”  

I sighed. That officially quashed any lingering doubts I might have had. I’d recognize my Chrysalis’ sense of humor anywhere. “I think we all agree where the assassins came from?”

Penumbra waved a hoof. “The dimension we just visited. Specifically, the so-called Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”

Twilight nodded. “The three thrones set far apart. No queen permitted to make any decision without the others. All of them flying instead of teleporting. The unrelenting tension and every pony soldier and servant divided into three ‘hives’ that were forbidden to communicate with each other.”

Chrysalis stated the now obvious. “Three changeling hives took over that Equestria. Then you came along and upset their precarious balance of power. One queen panicked when you promised to return, or perhaps they acted with the blessing of the other queens.”

Crushing Blow shouldered her way past the soldiers cleaning up the assassin’s remains. I said, “General, assemble the Rapid Response Team. Standard changeling countermeasures.”  She saluted and exited the door, barking orders.

Shining walked up to his sister. “Twily, would you teleport me to my suite so I can get my armor?  Then we can get yours.”  

A thought came to me. “Wait. What about Camellia?  Is she OK?”

“She slept through the whole thing. Five guards are stationed in my quarters while another went to get Cadance and Skyla.”  

I said, “Good. Penny will help me with my armor. I’ll meet you in the portal room.”

“One moment, my husband.”  I turned to see Chrysalis sashaying up to me. We shared a long kiss before she looked me in the eyes. “Return to me… and do not settle for any paltry imitations.”  

With that, she flicked her tail in my face and left the suite.





Ten minutes later, everyone finished gathering in the extradimensional portal chamber. Two squads of Royal Guards comprised of all tribes and a squad of red changelings. Also present were three juvenile dragon soldiers and ten griffon troops. Everyone wore emotion-suppressing charms, blue and red pastern identification bands, and shoulder-mounted lights that flashed a preset series of colors. No changeling would be able to pretend to be part of our strike force.

I stood in front of Shining, Twilight, and Penny and addressed the troops. “Everyone. Three changeling queens are masquerading as Celestia, Luna, and Cadance in that dimension. Any pony you see in Solar, Night, or Crystal Guard armor could be a pony or a changeling. Non-lethal force unless absolutely necessary. When everyone is through, stick together and press forward to the throne room. Delta Company will secure the area around our portal. We do not know the current situation in that realm’s Royal Gardens. Be prepared for anything. Are there any questions?”  I got nothing but determined looks in response.

I joined Twilight and Shining Armor directly in front of the inactive portal. Twilight nodded to Crisp Berry who manned the control station. The familiar silver liquid effect filled the portal. The yellow changeling scanned across the dials and then yelled, “Go!”

The three of us jumped through and fanned out, Penumbra right on my heels. It was our job to clear out and protect a large enough space in front of the portal to assemble all our soldiers. My responsibility was the area straight ahead toward the throne room. The sight in front of me almost made me stop in my tracks. In the air, pegasi from the three different factions fought each other with wing blades and spears. Occasionally, unicorn magic blasts from the ground aimed at the flying combatants. At the far edge of the garden, earth ponies wrestled and stabbed each other.

Seconds later, I heard General Crushing Blow yell, “All present! Go!”  

I charged forward, maintaining my shield and shoving combatants out of the way as needed. I heard the thunder of hooves and flap of wings behind me. Not knowing the magic wards on the entrances, I blasted apart four of the stained-glass windows to allow rapid ingress. The throne room was just as chaotic as I expected it to be. Injured and unmoving ponies surrounded knots of soldiers protecting Queens Celestia, Luna, and Cadance. All three rulers started yelling promises and requests for aid our way. 

That wasn’t our plan. After counting ten seconds for our forces to complete their entry, I yelled in the Royal Canterlot Voice. “Now!”

As one, a wave of nullstone horn suppressor bands flew forward, quickly neutralizing every alicorn and unicorn horn among our opponents. Some earth ponies, Pegasi, and thestrals burst into flame to become changelings, much to the shock of the ponies fighting alongside them. Their horns were likewise wrapped in the nullstone bands. Our soldiers split into three groups, shoving ponies and changelings aside until each queen lay on the ground in manacles and with a sword at their throat. Shining Armor ordered the native forces to disarm, and they quickly complied. 

Seeing that accomplished, I nodded to Twilight. The purple alicorn flew out the window and straight up. I saw a bright lavender glow fill the sky visible outside the broken windows. My co-ruler’s magically amplified voice reverberated even inside the room. “I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, Triarch of Equestria and Hive-Mother of the Crystal Hive!  My allies and I have captured your queens!  All fighting will cease NOW!”  

The noise of battle stopped outside. The only sounds were the moans of injured soldiers and the panting of those who weren’t. Perhaps a half-minute later the glow stopped, and Twilight flew back into the throne room, alighting next to me. “They’ve…” She cleared her throat. “Sorry. They’ve stopped.”

Shining Armor motioned to our soldiers. Two earth ponies hauled each queen to the floor in front of us. Whatever they were trying to say was suppressed by the silence spell put on all three by a unicorn day guard that accompanied the earth ponies. 

Time for me to play the bad cop. “Shut up!”  I roared. After they did so, I nodded to the unicorn and the aura surrounding their mouths winked out. “All three of you. Drop your disguises.”  

Queen Luna said, “Without our magic—”  

I interrupted her. “Transforming back to your true form is innate magic that can’t be suppressed. Do so now.”

When they did, I faced copies of Queens Carpacia, Sanguine Dreams, and Polistae. I heard this dimension’s ponies gasp and the few changelings among them hiss. They weren’t my concern right now. “Good. Each of you has soldiers from your hive here in this chamber. Order them to retrieve the three alicorns you were impersonating.” 

Polistae snarled. “No!  Just kill me. You would starve my hive to extinction. I won’t let you take away the only leverage I have.”

I leaned down to look her in the eyes. “It’s either that or I lead our forces to conquer your hive in the White Tail Woods.”  Her eyes widened at that. It seemed the hive location was the same in both dimensions… possibly the layout as well.

Twilight walked next to me. Now she could play her role as the good cop. “As Triarch of Equestria and Hive-Mother of the Crystal Hive, I give you my word your hive will not starve. But you will need to cooperate with us.”

I said, “As Triarch of Equestria and leader of the Canterlot Hive, I give you my word as well.”

The three changeling queens shared looks. With everyone on our team wearing emotion-suppressing amulets, they would have to rely on their better judgment. 

“Very well,” they said at the same time.





“You took everything from my ponies like the parasites you are!  Sucking the happiness out of everypony!”

“You sent your soldiers to the farthest reaches of Equestria!  Hunting down anypony and anything out of the ordinary!”

“You turned Canterlot into a military encampment!  Even the janitors have to wear uniforms!”

“And what of it?  For the first time in centuries, the armed forces of Equestria are not the laughingstock of Equus!”

“At what cost?  When was the last time you saw a pony smile?  Every citizen is terrified of their queens and their police state that roots out any dissent!”

“The Storm King didn’t care when he conquered Equestria… oh, wait… he failed because our forces destroyed his airships and forced him to retreat into the Everfree!”

I tilted my head to the side and considered. Three emaciated alicorns stood on one side of the table and three manacled changeling queens on the other. All wore two nullstone horn suppression bands. A shield stretched down the center of the conference room table to ensure the practically warring parties stayed apart. To prevent rescue attempts from either side, Twilight and I moved everyone to the Royal Lounge in our dimension’s Canterlot Castle and shut down the portal. 

To my left, Twilight kept trying to get in a word edgewise but came up short every time as the royalty from both sides yelled over each other. 

To my right, my lead wife elbowed me in the side. “Trixie believes these juvenile tantrums have gone on long enough. They have already wasted an hour of Trixie’s valuable time.”

I gave her a quick grin. “They had to get it out of their system.”

She searched my eyes. “As you intended, it seems. Now, however, it is time to proceed.”  

I waved Penumbra closer and whispered in her ear. When I finished, she stared at me… hungrily?  Penny then gave me her sharpest salute and left the room. 

Twilight raised an eyebrow but said nothing. I just smiled in return. 

Fifteen minutes later, Penumbra led six mares into the room. Three stood on each side, behind our guests who stopped arguing to look over the new arrivals. Each wore full enchanted armor and necklaces with emotion-suppressing charms. 

I stood up. “Ah, I’m glad you could make it, ladies. You see, the mares in front of you are showing the Triarchs that they cannot exist in Harmony, which is what their subjects in their realms need more than they need them.”  I turned to my left. “Princess Flurry Heart, Princess Nyx, Princess Skyla. Are you three prepared to duel the alicorn in front of you to rule their Equestria according to the precepts of the Alicorn Challenge?” Let these triarchs speculate what that meant in our dimension.

“We are,” chorused Skyla and Flurry Heart. Nyx just smiled and took off her glasses, revealing her slit pupils. 

I turned to the right to face the similarly armored Red, Green, and Crimson Hive princesses. “Princess Tarsalia of the Red Hive, Princess Socaria of the White Tail Woods Hive, Princess Morning Star of the Hollow Shades Hive. Are you prepared to challenge the queens in front of you to take over their hives?”  

“I’m ready right now,” said Princess Morning Star with a wicked smile. 

“You can’t do this!” said Queen Polistae. “We are your prisoners and under your protection.”

Queen Luna touched her suppression bands with a hoof. “She’s right!  In our current state and our magic suppressed, we would stand no chance!”

I said, “Oh, are you all in agreement?  For once?  For the first time?”  I’m sure they caught my sarcastic tone. “I don’t care about your squabbles, your titles, or your pride. All I care about are the citizens in your dimension. I’ve already wasted an hour of my time. I’m giving you that long to come to some agreement or I’ll negotiate with your successors.”

I turned away from the table and followed Penumbra toward the exit. As I passed a joyful Twilight Sparkle, she clopped her hooves together. “Well, then. Let’s get started!  Would anyone or anyling be opposed to an order of amnesty covering all events leading up to today?”

After a guard closed the door behind me, Penny motioned with her head, and I followed her up the hall. Soon, she entered the first guest quarters we reached. Whisk Broom and Lace Doily looked up from where they were tucking sheets into the bed. 

Penny barked out, “Maids leave!”  The two mares hastened to do so, closing the door behind them.

My bodyguard and third wife attacked me with a kiss, somehow shrugging off parts of her armor as she did so. Getting the hint, I likewise disrobed. Seconds later, I found myself on the bed with my third wife grinning down at me. “Do you have any idea how much I want you right now?”

I smiled. “I’m starting to get the hint. Mind telling me why?”

She lay down until we practically touched muzzles. “My stallion just dominated three queens and three alicorns. I believe your term for it is ‘made them all my bitch.’  If I wasn’t already pregnant that might have made me ovulate on the spot. I know exactly how we are going to spend the next hour.”





An hour later – give or take – I slipped back into my vest. “Dang it, one of the buttons got torn off.”  I looked up. “And your armor straps aren’t buckled evenly.”

Penny just showed me all of her fangs. I got the hint. “You want them to know.” 

She smiled wider and patted my head. “Your time as Marklestia and now Princess Mark Wells is helping you understand mares… even when you look like this.”  

All I could do was sigh. She might be right. On second thought, I could do more than just sigh about it. 

A few minutes of passionate kissing later, I was finally ready.

After the short walk, Penumbra preceded me into the conference room. If the state of our clothing didn’t clue in our guests, our smell likely would in short order. 

My lead mare showed no surprise whatsoever. “Trixie has outstanding news, Hallmark Spells!  Our visiting alicorns and hive queens just signed a Great and Powerful treaty to assist one another!”

“That’s splendid,” I said as I took my seat and then turned to my co-ruler. “Twilight, why don’t you tell me all about it.”

The purple mare beamed as she began what I was sure would be a long explanation that I only partially listened to. Looking out over the table, every changeling queen and malnourished alicorn glared alternately at me and my bodyguard. I smiled. Penny would be in a chipper mood for weeks, and I wouldn’t even need to rework the Castle Gardens!





After our guards escorted our visitors to their guest rooms, our Princess Cadance entered with Camellia on her back. She rushed over to Shining Armor, and they embraced. Their daughter laughed and ran over her parents’ heads. After jumping onto her father’s back, the unicorn foal wrestled with the flap to one of his saddlebags.

A half-minute later, Cadance pulled back and her eyelid twitched. “They wouldn’t let us in until you finished. I only heard a few details about what happened.” 

My Leadmare said, “Trixie is in the same state. Shining Armor. Landmark Clamshells. Inform us of the day’s events, beginning with your most recent excursion. Dinner will be brought here.”

“Not until we get out of these noisy things.”  Nyx struggled to find the buckles of her oriental-style armor doubtless borrowed from our dimension’s Luna. “Skyla, give me a hoof, please.”  

Across from her, Princess Morning Star sat down in the seat previously occupied by Queen Sanguine Dreams. “So, no fight to the death to gain control of a hive?  Disappointing.” 

I smiled at her. “Sorry, Your Highness. It just wouldn’t be sporting.”





When the second course arrived, the four of us had finished retelling our version of events from the moment we entered the changeling tripartite dimension. By the time the dessert plates were taken away, we had finished describing the world that took friendship… in a different direction. Sure enough, Twilight was blushing furiously.

While servants brought out wine and spirits, Shining and Twilight related all they knew about the sword. Silently, I set my glass of late-pressing ice wine back on the table and left the chocolate truffles untouched. I knew I was spoiled but couldn’t help but make unfavorable comparisons to what we had been served so recently. 

Cadance lit her horn as she scanned the sword her husband placed in her hooves. “I just… I mean I’ve examined every magical artifact in the Royal Vaults and couldn’t tell you any more about this unique and powerful artifact than what Twilight already divined. What did Queen Luna say about the sword that wasn’t flirtations aimed at my husband?”

Shining Armor rubbed the back of his neck with a forehoof. “It was the final weapon created by Steadfast the Enchanter, whom neither of us have heard of in this dimension or any other.”

Twilight said, “All of the soldiers and servants were in awe of the sword. They were shocked that Luna gave it to Shining… but in a happy way.”

I thought back. “Luna also said something about it forever helping Shining Armor protect the Crystal Empire and Princess Cadance.”  

Twilight and her sister-in-law shared an intense look and then the purple mare walked in front of her brother. “BBBFF, please hold out your forelegs.” The white unicorn stallion did as she asked, and Twilight’s magic covered them in a wide lavender beam. Slowly, a pattern of blotches and streaks of different colors covered his white coat where her magic touched. 

Curious, Trixie and I moved closer. My wife asked, “What, precisely, are we looking at, Miss Sparkle?”

Twilight said, “The cells in our body are constantly aging, dying off, and being replaced in a nearly random manner. Each generation glows a different color, and you can see there is a mix of colors everywhere. Wounds are healed by a different, younger type of cell that becomes weaker as we age. If you know what you’re looking for, Amber Waves’ Youth Coloration spell reveals all this. Healed wounds overwrite the background noise, such as right here.” She pointed to an oval patch of green on her brother’s right foreleg.

Shining nodded. “That’s very interesting. I scraped my skin there during a spar maybe three months ago. Nurse Relaxing Hooves healed it with her magic.”

I noticed what I wasn’t seeing. “Shining, where are the cuts you got from the assassin?” 

My friend craned his neck. “They’re… not there?”  He looked up. “Twily, does the sword provide improved healing magic?”

“No, Shining,” said his sister as her glowing horn winked out. “All healing magic works the same way, leaving patches of identically aged cells behind. The only exception is for alicorns who have reached full maturity, like Celestia and Luna. Their cells heal back to their original state and age.”

The color faded from his forelegs and Shining took the sword back in his magic and slid it into the scabbard attached to his saddlebags. “But what does that mean?”

Cadance put a hoof on his withers. “It means that Queen Luna was talking literally. When you wear that sword, you stop aging.”

Everyone around me gasped, and I knew I did. Shining Armor’s mouth dropped open and his eyes shimmered. He pulled his wife into his grasp and started weeping. Little Carmelia joined in the hug as best she could. After a minute, Shining whispered, “I never have to leave you.”  

This time it was not just the stallion who shed a few tears. I blame this entirely on my time spent as Princess Mark Wells. 

Everyone busied themselves with small talk as we mutually agreed to let the couple have some private time… as much as that was possible in a room full of ponies and changelings.

When Shining and Cadance joined us again, they got congratulatory hugs from everyone, even the changeling princesses. Trixie was the last to do so. “Now then, Prince Armor. When are you going to take care of your obligation?”

He blinked. “Pardon?”

“You are alive now only because of the generous gift provided by Queen Luna. In addition, you may actually succeed at providing your wife with as many foals as Dark Parallels shall provide me over the centuries. Do you not think this warrants a proper ‘Thank you’?” 

Cadance lifted her head. “Princess Trixie is right, dear. You need to express the depths of your sincere appreciation.”

Shining’s eyes went wide. “Cady!  You don’t mean…”

The pink mare held up a hoof while closing her eyes. “I only mean that you owe this mare a debt of gratitude. How you choose to express it is entirely up to you, so long as it is heartfelt.” My unicorn friend paused at that, looking thoughtful.

I caught my co-ruler’s eye. “Twilight, did you get the permanent mirror portals set up for the Party Realm?” 

She gave me a mock glare… or was it a real one? “Yes, I did.” She draped a wing over her brother. “Come on, BBBFF. If I know my Lunas, this one will still be awake. You can figure out what to say on the way there.”  

Shining nodded and the siblings left for the Mirror Portal Room with Penny and I following behind.

We transitioned into the Castle Spa of all places. Two guards on duty quickly donned their armor and escorted us to the Throne Room. True to Twilight’s prediction, Queen Luna smiled down at us from the throne. 
The Sergeant at Arms bellowed, “Announcing His Highness Shining Armor!”

My friend took a deep breath and then approached the throne while looking down. He stopped and bowed. Queen Luna’s eyes sparkled but she said nothing, waiting for the unicorn stallion to speak. 

Shining stopped fidgeting with the hilt of the final sword of Steadfast the Enchanter and opened his mouth to address the diarch, only to deflate and wave for Luna to join him on the marble tiles before the dais. 

With considerable grace, the dark blue alicorn walked down the steps until she stood directly in front of my friend. After a few seconds, Luna breathed in and opened her mouth to speak. She was interrupted by Shining Armor sweeping her off her hooves and snogging her thoroughly. 

I had to practically yell in Twilight’s ear to be heard over the whoops and hollers of all the citizens and guards in attendance. “I think that qualifies as sincere appreciation!”  The purple mare rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smirk.

After an extended period of making out, Shining returned Luna to her hooves and whispered in her ear. He turned and walked away, leaving the mare quivering in joy with a huge smile across her lips. Any doubt of what my friend had told her was wiped away when Luna started high-hoofing anyone and everyone in the chamber. 

As Shining Armor strode back toward the portal home, I came up to his side. “Let me know if you want any tips on herd management.”

He said, “Hold that thought, Mark,” without looking my way. 

Penumbra came up to my other side, grinning. “You know he’ll never ask you to stop holding that thought, don’t you?”

I shook my head. It wasn’t just Penny who got in the last word this time.


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