Fallout Equestria: Souls

Act 1 - Part 5: No One’s Home

Waste Land Survival Lesson 25:
“Don’t look a gift pony in the mouth.”

I’m haunting the gun that killed me. A rather peculiar way for the afterlife to work, but I guess it’s more fair than shackling somepony to their accidental killer. It explains why I kept hopping between Flower and Hoof, since whoever has this gun is the one I follow.

What still doesn’t make any sense, is how in the wild wasteland was I killed by a wooden gun with no trigger?

“And I’m calling you a friend since I sure wouldn’t want to be the enemy of a weapon like yourself.” The zebra, who looked to be about the same age as Hoof, added with a chuckle while changing to a dull turquoise. Considering that I just watched a pegasus mare take out an entire skyscraper in order to kill a pony-bear, his hue shifting trick is not all that strange.

On that note, I sure hope that those two made it out of that tower ok. After watching over them for the past week, I was starting to feel like their guardian alicorn, even if I couldn’t actually help them. They’re just so woefully lacking in wasteland survival skills that somepony really should be looking out for them. Rock is ignorant of just about everything, despite her freakish jerry-rigging skills, and Second seems to be getting by with mostly luck, both good and bad.

Oh well, they have each other, and if either has any sense they’ll be making a bee line right out of Camelton by now. Which means, knowing them…

“Just what did you expect that many balefire eggs to do?!” Second’s annoyed voice drifted into my perception.

The zebra’s ears perked up and he flashed a light blue colour. Stuffing Rock’s torn jumpsuit into his saddlebag and holstering the odd gun, he cantered towards the direction the voice came from.

“You never told me that there are magic bombs too!” Flower’s voice snapped back, sounding defensive. “I was estimating the explosion based on the total potential energy of the payload expanding at supersonic speeds, like how you told me bombs worked! I didn’t even know magic existed a week ago, how could I factor for that?”

“I eyeballed it with a guesstimated rule of hoof.” Flower answered before he could finish.

“Oh.” From the sound of it, that explanation deflated most of Hoofs anger. She may not even know how she does it, but Flower’s intuition for putting things together hasn’t been wrong yet. Maybe if Hoof talked more about practical things like balefire eggs, instead of trivia of long dead ponies, Flower may have known how many mini-nukes would be enough. Like, half of one.

Oh, the image of Rock trying to saw a balefire egg in half is just too unnerving. I guess it worked out better this way after all…

“Well, umm…” Hoof sounded like he was searching for another reason to stay angry at the mare. “Why didn’t you tell me before that you were a pegasus?”

I would facehoof if I could. You really haven’t been around the wasteland much, have you Hoof? There’s still a large number of ponies that hate all pegasus due to the cloud cover, particularly among the less educated raiders and slavers. Unless they sleep with a battle saddle on, most pegasus that I’ve met keep their wings hidden when traveling. Even in more ‘civilized’ parts of the wastes…

“Don’t call me things that I don’t know the meaning of!” There was a hint of pain and sadness in Flower’s voice. “I can guess the meaning though, it’s some fancy word for mutant, or freak!”

Even the zebra cocked his head in curiosity and briefly turned the colour of jade.

“Why would I tell you?!” Flower shouted, suddenly sounding hysterical and on the verge of crying. “So you could laugh at them and tease me? Or push me down and hit me? Try to pull off these… these…”

“You’re not a freak, or a mutant. You’re a pegasus. A kind of pony with wings. Like how I’m a kind of pony with a horn.” Hoof then added with a kinder tone. “You fly with them.”

“I… I… can fly?” Flower’s voice cracked, her hysteria settling down at the surprising news. “But… Ponies can’t fly…”

“I’m sorry for interrupting…” The zebra finally called out, interrupting the awkward silence that just fell. “But could either of you good ponies help someone with neither wings nor magic out of a large hole?”

I heard Rock give a surprised “Eep!” and then a moment later Second’s head appeared over the lip of the hole and looked down to the now golden yellow zebra.

After staring puzzled for a moment, Hoof called down. “Ok, hold on while we try to find some rope or something.” He then disappeared past the edge of the hole and out of my perception range. Next I head him presumably talking to Rock. “There’s somepony stuck down there, we need to find a way to get him out.”

“You sure about that?” I heard rock say hesitantly. “Last time we helped, things didn’t turn out so well. For that poor pony-bear I mean.”

“I’m pretty sure that the hole won’t chase us if you throw a rock at it, Rock.” I could practically hear Second rolling his eyes.

“Don’t worry, there’s no current going through it.” Hoof called down. “Just try to hang on to it and we’ll pull you…”

Before he could even finish his sentence, the zebra had already had already climbed to the top by rapidly grabbing the cable with his for hooves, and then alternating his grip with his hind hocks while pulling.

“Thank you very much.” The currently orchid zebra said while bowing his head.

“Not a problem.” Hoof said with a smile. “Umm. Weren’t you yellowish before?”

The zebra rubbed the back of his mane with a hoof and changed a deeper indigo. “This hasn’t been a good day for me. First I was nearly swallowed by a bear-like creature and then by the earth itself. I normally have better control over this.”

“That was you before?” Flower, who was hiding herself behind Second, finally spoke up. The yellow pegasus seemed oddly overexposed, now that the only thing that she wore was her Four Hooves pendant and her Pip-Buck. She must have had the same naked feeling, since she was clearly trying to keep herself (or maybe it was just her wings) out of the zebra’s line of sight.

For that matter, Hoof was also in the buff. I guess that he took off his trader outfit and cap so he would smell a little less like hundred year old sewage. Now stripped of his overly clean attire, and his mane unkempt, Second finally looked like he belonged in the wasteland. This is also the first time that I’ve seen his cutie mark, which is… a bent oil drum on two little legs? Maybe he delivered fuel before going into tech? This makes Rock’s spider cutie mark look sensible in comparison. At least hers is colourful and almost cute.

“Oh!” The zebra flashed yellow. “Were you two also the ponies that saved me by leading away that monster?”

“You can blame her for that awkward rescue.” Hoof let out a chuckle, then looked back at the cowering mare. “Will you quit hiding your wings, he already overheard that you’re a pegasus. I doubt that he’ll hold it against you after saving his life twice.”

“Is he a different kind of pony too?” Flower asked Hoof, finally stepping out of his shadow. “Some striped, colour changing kind?”

“No, he’s a zebra, and they don’t normally change colour.” The stallion then addressed the zebra. “How are you doing that?”

“I’ll explain along the way, but first, I haven’t introduced myself yet.” The zebra announced in a cheerful tone and flashed a smile of pearly white teeth. “I am Colourful Zebra!”

“Yup! A name is just what others call you, and everyone calls me the colourful zebra, so that’s who I am.”

“I changed it.” The mare said matter-of-factly. “Colourful said that a name is just what others call you, and I’d rather be called that. Besides, the other name was getting confusing with the whole Rock or rock thing.”

Aww… I was just starting to like Rock as her name. There was a sense of irony for a pegasus to be called Rock, like an earth pony being called Bird.

“Now that the introductions are out of the way.” Zebra continued. “I cordially invite you both to my home and place of business in Appleloosa, where I wish to properly thank and reward you for saving my meager life. Twice!” He then bowed with a flourish and went royal purple. I think that colour change was just for theatrics.

This display brought about a giggle from Flower… I mean Blossom. This is going to take some getting used to.

“Can we go Second?” Desert Rock Flower Blossom asked excitedly. “We don’t have anywhere else to go, do we?”

Hoof thought for a moment. “Is it safe there? I’ve heard rumours that some slaver called Cobra has set up shop in Appleloosa.”

Safe as House’s what? Well I guess pretty much anything that illusive old… Wait, he probably didn’t mean THAT House.

“I haven’t heard of any pony going by that name settling in Appleloosa, but then I have been away for the past week.” Colourful continued. “It was a down right peaceful town when I left it though.”

“Please?” Blossom pleaded at Hoof with big puppy dog eyes, which probably would have been more effective for a cuter mare.

I wonder why she sees Hoof as a default leader. Desert could just go with Zebra without Second if she wanted. Maybe in her Stable she was conditioned to follow others and not her own initiative. Or it could be that she sees him as some kind of father figure.

Hoof thought for a moment then smiled. “Ok, we’ll take you up on your offer.”

The trek out of the city was thankfully uneventful. There were no more encounters with the Yune-Yun Clan, no more giant bear ponies, and Desert didn’t blow up any more landmarks. The only dodgy bit was when we almost got too close to a Cleaner base, but thankfully Zebra saw the gleaming building from several blocks away and we took a massive detour around it. I’m dead and the Cleaners still freak me out!

Desert and Second were following Colourful along a south west trail that skirted the mountains on this side of the desert. An odd direction considering that the only way around the mountains and to Apploosa is far to the north. Perhaps Zebra knows a safe place to camp in that direction, since it’s going to be getting dark soon, and plans to double back in the morning.

“I forgot about my Stable jumpsuit.” Desert said glancing around, starting to panic. “We were actually heading to that big hole to look for it when we found you.”

“It’s not funny! I don’t want to risk running into somepony else without it.” The poor mare looked like she was torn between running back into the city herself or just hiding under the nearest rock.

“I’m not laughing at you dear Blossom, but at how fate appears to have favoured you once again. I believe this the garment you’re referring to?” Colourful said and pulled out of with a hoof the ripped jumpsuit from his saddle bags.

“Oh thank goodness!” Desert said with a sigh of relief. She then grabbed it with her mouth and flung the jumpsuit over her back, covering her wings. She stopped panicking as soon as her wings were out of view. “We can continue now.” There seemed to be an instant change in her confidence and how she held herself, like having them covered was a security blanket for her.

“I take it then, you’re also Soldier’s keeper?” Colourful asked as he walked alongside the mare.

The colourful zebra, I guess his name does make sense, stopped and pulled out from his saddle bag the red gun that I was stuck to and held it carefully on his hoof. “My grasp on the ancient Zebra language is rather rusty, but I believe that the main inscription on it reads ‘Soldier’.”

So the gun I was stuck to not only had a name, but it was made by zebras. After finding out it’s made of wood, I didn’t think much else could surprise me about it.

“Oh, my gun!” The stable pony grabbed the odd pistol right out of his Hoof and held it in her mouth by the trigger.
Pointing it in Hoof’s direction.

Careful with that! That kind of careless gun handling is what got me in this mess in the first place.

“You should be more careful with that.” Colourful warned, going a pale blue, clearly just as concerned as I was. “A zebra ‘Soldier’ shouldn’t be taken lightly, particularly by a pony.”

“It’s a fake.” Hoof said looking back over his shoulder, unconcerned that the thing was pointing at him. “It’s made of wood and doesn’t even have a trigger.”

“It may be wooden, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not a real weapon.” Zebra changed to a dark teal. “I’ve heard tales of powerful incantations that zebra shaman could put on even the most mundane items. Even my untrained soul can sense that this ‘Soldier’ has so much power that it is nearly alive…”

The yellow mare’s eyes went wide. “Alive?” she gasped, dropping the pistol from her mouth.

“Ok…” Second said cautiously, as he levitated the gun over to his saddle bag. “Let’s not play with the weird wooden living zebra ‘Soldier’ power gun anymore.” He then opened the saddle bag and placed the pistol beside a large clear bag containing his clothes.

I sure hope that bag is air tight. If I have to be stuck to a gun, I don’t want it to be one that smells of hundred year old poo-gas.

“That reminds me.” Hoof said as he started walking again, breaking Desert out of her shock over the gun. “On the topic of unexplained zebra oddities, how do you do that colour change trick Colourful?”

The zebra sighed and changed dark blue before trotting to keep pace with the stallion. “It’s a cautionary tale of loss and the mistakes of youth. I am hesitant to tell it.”

He looked back to see Blossom following along with an interested look on her face. He then gave a small smile.

Hesitant my non-corporeal hoof. If Zebra was a pony his special talent would be showmanship.

“When I was a colt, I was rather… troublesome.” The Zebra began. “So my father thought to teach me a lesson in self-control. He whipped up a potion and mixed it into my bathwater. This special potion causes the victim’s coat and mane to change colour based on what emotions they are feeling.”

“It did the trick. To avoid the embarrassment of always changing colour, I quickly learned to control my feelings.” He illustrated this by cycling his coat though the rainbow spectrum. “But the effects became permanent when I lost my father before he could give me the antidote…”

“He didn’t die, he just got lost.” The yellowish zebra said with a smile. I guess that was an old joke whenever he tells this story. “Or maybe I was the one that got lost.” He added philosophically. “Having learned my lesson, the two of us were going through a dense forest to get the antidote ingredients. I turned away for a moment and when I looked back he was gone. I never saw him again and I’ve been this way ever since.”

“It’s not too bad. Over time I’ve learned how to focus my emotions to help camouflage myself” The zebra changed to a concrete grey and then a midnight black. “And it’s great for breaking the ice at parties.”

“I mean, I don’t remember anything about my father, but just the word itself fills me with very not good feeling.” Flower shrugged. “So I just figured that having one around isn’t something somepony, or somezebra, would want.”

An awkward silence fell among the three equines. The zebra changed to a sickly zucchini green and Second gave a sad sigh before speaking “Not all fathers are…”

“Oh, here it is!” Zebra suddenly declared in a positive tone. He was still the same colour though.

“Umm, here what is?” Blossom asked while looking around. There was nothing around them except a two story vertical rock wall that was part of the mountain range.

“A short cut to Appleloosa.” Colourful answered, walking to the rock wall, and then proceeded to climb right up it.

I know that zebras can do some pretty extraordinary acrobatics, but climbing walls?!

Then as Hoof brought my field of view closer, he was still carrying the gun, I could see that the wall actually had a row of deep hoof-holds that were near invisible in the defused twilight.

Zebra, who was already at the top, called down. “It’s a tricky climb for pony-folk, but it’s doable.”

It took several attempts, and Hoof nearly fell half way, but he managed to make the vertical climb. I think at one point he even tried to telekinetically grab the mountain for extra traction. Blossom, on the other hoof, took the climb with relative ease. I guess that gravity, even when just climbing, has less of an effect on pegasi.

Once at the top, Zebra led them up a large stone outcropping that over looked a canyon which spread out far past my range of sight.

“This is Crag Big Kraken!” Colourful announced. “Named after how the canyon below starts off as a large bowl and then branches off into several corridors, sort of like a gigantic octopus.”

“Oooh.” Desert said in awe. It must have been quite the vista, but from my limited spherical view it was all just a blur of red stone and the redder sky of sunset.

“Normally travellers would use this vantage point to try and determine which ‘kraken arm’ lead to the destination they were heading to.” Zebra continued, almost sounding like a tour guide. “But with Ms. Blossom’s Pip-Buck map, we won’t have to worry about making a wrong turn.”

I sure wish I knew about this shortcut before, it would have cut days off my travel time and I wouldn’t be at the right place at the wrong time for Desert to kill me.

“We’ll camp up here for the night. It should be out of the way enough to avoid any predators that live in the canyon, and then we'll head down into the ‘Kraken’ first thing in the morning.” Colourful finished and took off his saddle bags.

“I’ve been wondering something.” Blossom spoke up. “Where have I heard the word ‘zebra’ before?”

After staring in disbelief for a second, Second Hoof face-hoofed (why couldn’t he change his name also to avoid awkward sentence like that?). “The war. The one that I talked to you about all morning?”

“Oh! Right!” The mare clopped her fore-hooves together in realization. “That stupid thing that made this place ugly!” She then hesitantly looked over at Colourful. “That nonsense isn’t still going on is it?”

The zebra gave a chuckle. “Most everyone would agree that ‘nonsense’, as you so accurately put it, ended a century ago along with most life in this land.” Then he added with a sigh. “Although there are still some fools, on both sides, that insist on continuing the madness even to this day.”

The pegasus sighed with relief. “I was also wondering, why are zebras not considered ponies? Having stripes seems a much smaller difference than wings or horns.”

Hoof set down his over loaded saddlebags with a clatter. “Well, while you attempt to explain complex social and genetic issues with Rock…”

“Whatever.” The merchant said, mocking how the mare would often dismiss his corrections. “I’m going to go a safe distance away and take a stab at the simpler task of repairing a sprite-bot without it blowing up in my face.”

He then made a show of telekinetically lifting the badly crushed sprite-bot from his bag. The bear thing really did a number on it when it whacked it.

I could see from my omnipresent view that he also levitated out his little recording device, and kept it hidden from the other’s view by keeping it behind the sprite-bot.

I guess he wants to keep his audio journal a secret for some reason. Well my lips, if I still had them, are sealed on the matter. I kept Blossom’s wings secret, and I won’t tell anyone about Hoof’s diary.

Not that I can even tell anyone if I wanted to, but it’s the principal of the matter that counts.

~~***~~

Eventually Hoof returned, having not blown himself up, and switched off with Desert for standing watch over the camp site. To his credit, he did manage to stay awake his whole shift this time, although his shift was a third shorter with the extra party member. Every now and then he would glance over at Blossom and then roll his eyes and mutter something under his breath.

Are you still hung up over that she’s a pegasus? Get over it! Even I was startled at first to find that she wasn’t an earth pony, but it’s not like you found out she had stallion bits or something like that.

After several hours, Colourful woke up to take his turn at watch. That’s a sign of someone that’s well acquainted to wasteland travel, being able to wake up automatically when it’s time for your shift.

Although it wouldn’t have mattered too much in this case if he had slept in a little longer, this night was deader than me. Only movement that I could perceive other than Hoof’s listless pacing was his companion’s breathing and the dancing shadows cast by the flickering flames of the campfire. Not even a bloat-sprite has passed within my field of vision all…

“What?” Hoof also asked, turning to the zebra. “No we haven’t. Nopony has come anywhere near us all night.”

“Check your bags.” Zebra said while looking through his own saddle bag. “And not everything in the wasteland is a pony.”

Hoof rolled his eyes at the correction and went over to his saddle bags. I have to agree with Zebra on this, it’s just poor manners to use pony exclusive terms in mixed species company.

“Fine, no one has been…” Second suddenly stopped as he lifted up the flap of his bags. “We’ve been robbed!”

“No, really? But nopony has been here all night!” Colourful teased with a laugh.

“This is weird.” Hoof said as he levitated out the contents of his bag. “They only took certain thing but left others. The healing potions are gone but they left the med-X, they took the few bullets we had left but left half guns they were for.”

“Same here.” Colourful said while sorting through his belongings. “Yet even more puzzling is that they took personal items of no value but not others that were worth much more caps. For that matter, our mysterious bandit appears to have taken only some of our caps.”

Blossom let out a yawn from under the torn stable jumpsuit that she now used as a blanket. I guess the conversation and all the inventory sorting woke her up. The pegasus mare sleepily stretched out, which was almost kind of cute, then suddenly brought a fore-hoof to her neck, her eyes going wide.

Wait. So this thief was not only completely invisible and oddly selective, but also could take Roc..Desert’s pendant without waking her?

“We’ve all been robbed somehow by a very mysterious larcenist.” Colourful informed her. “The culprit was able to clean us out without us even noticing, yet only to particular items for some reason.” It was decent of him not to mention that it happened during Hoof’s watch.

“Maybe they couldn’t carry much?” The yellow pony suggested while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with the back of her hoof.

“Not likely, they took the sprite-bot too. That model was the size of a pony’s head, and you don’t just stuff a Pony’s head into your saddle… ” Hoof’s eyes suddenly lit up. “That’s it!”

“A pony head in a saddle bag?” Blossom asked puzzled. I’m kind of lost too, with the rather morbid size comparison.

“No, the reason why the sprite-bot was in my bag to start with.” Second said waving his hoof. “I was keeping it there until I could link its transponder code with your Pip-Buck. With it linked it would follow us around without wandering off.”

“It’s too late now, the thief wandered off with it anyways.” Desert shrugged.

“But that’s just it!” Hoof said grinning. “Since I know the bot’s transponder code, we can still link it to your Pip-Buck and track it on the map screen.”

“And when we find the sprite bot, we will find our thief!” Zebra said impressed, turning a yellow-orange.

“I just need to see your Pip-Buck for a moment.” Hoof said as his blue-grey magic surrounded the hoof computer.

“Hey! I told you that it’s private.” Desert protested, trying to pull her hoof away from the magic.

“I already know that the status screen shows your wings, you don’t have to hide it.” The unicorn said rolling his eyes.

Second fiddled with the controls for a few moments and then switched the screen to the map. “Got it! The sprite bot looks to be in a cave about a half hour’s trot from here.”

“Yay! Let’s get my pendant back!” Desert cheered, and then added sheepishly. “And you guy’s stuff too.”

~~~***~~~

The trio silently marched single file through the narrow canyon. Desert was in the lead, stopping every now and then to check her Pip-Buck map, followed by Colourful, and Second was ironically third. At least I think that it was Second at the rear. I could barely tell the two stallions apart with the small about of moonlight that shone through the cloud cover.

“We really don’t need to be this quiet.” Zebra, confirming to be in the middle, broke the silence. “We’re still a ways from the cave.”

“I don’t really have anything to talk about.” Hoof responded, sounding annoyed.

“Well how about I show you two a neat trick.” Colourful said in a cheerful tone. “Hoof, take my flash light out of my bag.”

Hoof’s horn glowed, lighting up part of his face, and a long matte black flashlight lifted out of the zebra’s bag with its own glow.”

“Ok, now shine it on me.” Colourful said as the silhouette of his hoof moved to his mouth. I could tell by the glow of Blossom’s Pip-buck that she had stopped and turned around to watch this ‘trick’.

From the glow of his horn I could see Hoof roll his eyes before levitating the flashlight towards the zebra and turning it on.

“RAAAHHH!!!” The zebra lunged towards Hoof, his mouth was open wide in a snarl, exposing only gums. His eyes were rolled back to the whites and his coat was a sickly yellow-green, looking as close as anyone could to a ghoul while still having a pulse.

“AAAAAHHHHHHH!” The unicorn screamed like a little filly, dropping the flash light from his magical grip as he tried to run backwards.

“Hahaha!” Desert and Colourful were laughing so hard that they almost fell over.

“That was great Colourful.” The yellow pegasus said between giggles. “How did you do that trick with your teeth?”

“False teeth.” Zebra, now a sunny yellow, said as he popped his dentures back into his mouth. “Lost my choppers ages ago. I’d tell you the tale along the way, but...”

“Let me guess.” Hoof said sarcastically as he picked up the flashlight, turning it off, and returning it to Zebra’s bags. “It’s a cautionary tale of loss and the mistakes of youth, and you’re hesitant to tell it.”

As they started walking again, Colourful began recounting his tale in the darkness. “Not long after I lost my father, I decided to set out into the wasteland to find him. One of first places I stopped at was a sleepy little pony town that was just trying to scrape by. I started asking around about my sire, but the good pony folk were understandably wary of a stranger, particularly one who was such an unusual zebra. They were so wary that they wanted me out of their town by any means necessary.”

“Now as everypony knows, all zebras are highly proficient in deadly martial arts. So even though I was just a young stallion, barely older than a colt, the good ponies of that town were understandably not going to take any chances with my extraction. Unfortunately, while the skills of zebras were well known to everypony, I as a zebra was never informed of this and so had no martial arts training whatsoever.”

“Yup.” Zebra continued resignedly. “The good pony folk of that sleepy town ganged up and beat a defenceless zebra nearly to death before throwing me into a ditch outside of town. Along with all my other injuries, the townsfolk had knocked out all my teeth and shattered my jaw. I managed to crawl away and find a healing potion to help my other injuries, but my muzzle was beyond the elixir’s magic repair. Without the use of my mouth I couldn’t fire a gun or even hold a pencil, on top of being barely able to eat. I would have eventually died from my messed up mouth if it wasn’t for Ferret.”

“Ferrets are from the weasel family, they’re not rodents.” Desert interjected. Looks like something else to add to the list of random things that she somehow knows. “Although, I also can’t picture how one could have helped Colourful.”

The zebra gave a chuckle. “It wasn’t a weasel, it was a pony, a ghoul unicorn pony to be exact. Art Ferret, special investigator for the E.D.A.”

“E.D.A?” Hoof asked. I’m surprised that there was a prewar acronym that he didn’t know.

“Equestrian Dental Association.” Zebra declared. “Best dentist in all the wasteland! He happened to come across me in my sorry state, but I had no caps or possessions to pay for his services, so made me an offer. In exchange for the time and resources needed for fixing up my jaw and replacing my teeth, I would sign over myself to him for three years as payment. I could hardly say no that that, although at the time I could hardly say anything, but I did nod.”

“Wait a second.” Second protested. “Are you telling us that you became a slave?”

Ugh! That pun is so bad! I just know Zebra is grinning in the dark about that punch line. Hoof groaned too, but I don’t think Desert got the joke.

“But seriously.” The zebra chuckled, not all that seriously. “Ferret fixed me right up and the three years that I served him were some of the best in my life. I never had to worry about where I was going to sleep at night or if I’ll have food to eat. He treated me with far more respect than anyone else ever had, going as far to defend me when some close minded ponies refused to see that the war was over.

Zebra continued, admiration clear in his voice. “Ferret took me on E.D.A related adventures, and also gave me time to search for my father. I even learned a few things about dentistry from him. I was considering staying with him after the three years were up, but he made the decision for me. On the morning my contract was up he sent me out on one last errand, and when I came back he was gone and his house was all locked up. He always knew when something was going on.”

“That was a great story Colourful.” Blossom said cheerfully. Yeah great, aside for the whole being nearly beaten to death, almost staving, and then 3 years of slavery. Oh, and the horrible pun. I wonder though, how much of it was real and how much was just to set up the joke? There can’t really be “Special Investigation” dentists, can there?

As the pegasus mare walked on through the dark canyon, Zebra halted Second with a hoof.

“Did you catch the moral of my little tale?” Colourful asked in a hushed voice.

“No… Well not entirely.” The zebra said with a chuckle, and then continued in a serious tone. “The moral was not to make assumptions based on stereotypes or prejudices. Not all zebras know how to fight, not all pony folk are good, not all ghouls are monsters, not all slavers are bad, not all slaves…”

“I get it.” Hoof interrupted impatiently, walking past the zebra. “It’s not like you have to tell…”

“You have a problem with Blossom being a pegasus.” Colourful said directly. “I’ve seen how you look at her.”

“Like someone who put their last bit in a Sparkle Cola machine and received an empty bottle. I’ve received that look enough back when I’d try to pass myself off as a pony. My dark mood would slip for a moment and suddenly the all black pony that everyone was friends with turns into a worthless striper.”

“Look, I don’t know why you’re travelling together, or what exactly your problem with her is, and I don’t need to know.” Zebra interrupted him again. “But I can tell that she is a good kid, and she doesn’t deserve someone holding how she was born against her. It sounds like she’s has more than enough of that in her past already.”

The two stallions stood silently in the dark for a moment, most likely trying to blindly stare each other down, until the topic of their discussion called out. “Hey, what are you two lagging behind for? I found the cave up ahead.”

“I was just apologizing to Second about that little scare I gave him before. “ Colourful called back to the mare. He then turned back to the unicorn and said in a friendly quiet voice, “Just remember, even an empty bottle still comes with a cap.”, before catering to catch up with Desert.

Hoof just stood there a moment, hopefully in thought, then quietly walked towards the other two.

~~~***~~~

The cave was not what I was expecting for the lair of our mysterious bandit. It was more just, well, a basic cave. The mouth of the cave led into a rough natural tunnel that branched out every now and then. Blossom continued to lead, her Pip-Buck lighting the way, followed by Colourful, and Hoof operated the zebra’s flashlight from behind.

Eventually, after checking her map screen several times, Blossom led them to a large domed chamber. In the center of the hollow, directly below a hole in the ceiling that let the little night light there was in, was a small pile of odds and ends. It look a little like the hoard of a baby dragon.

“Looks like no pon… I mean no one’s home.” Hoof said, catching himself from another social faux pas, as he walked into the chamber, shinning the flashlight around.

“I don’t think that’s entirely accurate.” Zebra said carefully from the entryway, slowly turning a pale cyan. “Look to your right.”

Hoof looked over, shining the flashlight at Desert as she inspected the small treasure-trove. “It’s just Rock.” He observed, earning a glare from the mare. “I mean Desert Blossom.” He amended, rolling his eyes.

“Look past her.” Colourful said, his own eyes focused to the right of the mare.

“it’s her shadow.” The unicorn said exasperatedly. “Are you getting jumpy or…”

“Shadows don’t have eyes…” The zebra said in a low tone as he slowly side stepped to the left of the chamber.
What did he mean by… Oh.

By the right wall, what I also first thought was Blossom’s shadow, was the translucent black form of a small pony. I guess that explains why I didn’t even see it take our stuff. From the outline of its short shadowy mane, to the wisps of its shadow tail, the thing had no colour or solid features except for its eyes. Two large, solid green, watery eyes stared back at Hoof, looking… scared?

“Yay! My pendant is here, and my soup stone!” Blossom cheered from the pile and then looked over to Hoof and Colourful, who were now at the far left of the stone cavity. Following their frightened stares across to the right side, she spotted the shadowy figure.

“Oh, hi!” The stable pony called happily to the green eyed shadow. Aside from rats, I doubt anything even phases this mare. “Is this your pile?”

The shadow’s head nervously glanced at the yellow mare and then back to the stallions.

“I’m sorry about having to ask this, but could I please have my pendant and soup stone back?” Blossom trotted towards the shadow pony. “I’ll trade you for them if you want.”

“Oh right, they would also want their stuff back.” Blossom said absently, gesturing to the cowering stallions. You two really are being a bit silly, the thing is not much larger than a foal and hasn’t done anything threatening yet. Sure it’s a little unnerving, but it doesn’t seem hostile.

“Step away from him Desert, we don’t know what …” Hoof started to warn the mare again, but Zebra held up a hoof to stop him.

“Blossom doesn’t seem to be in any danger.” Zebra observed. “Maybe we can reason with it.” He then slowly walked towards Blossom, who was currently trying to shake the confused shadow pony’s hoof.

Hoof shook his head and sighed. “This day keeps getting more and more weird.” As soon as he took a step forwards the shadow pony jumped backwards towards the wall, its green eyes wide with terror.

“Oh, I don’t think she likes you.” Desert called over to the unicorn as Zebra tried to calm the shadow being down. It was rather odd, the shadow pony only reacted with curiosity to Desert and Zebra, even letting them get close to it. “Maybe it’s the smell.” The pegasus added with a giggle.

Hoof stopped and thought for a moment. “Hmm, or maybe it’s this…” His horn began to glow and the odd red gun that I was bound to floated out of his saddle bag and pointed towards the shadow.

The shadow’s reaction was instantaneous. Its green eyes became panicked and its head distorted, as if it was trying to scream without a mouth. It leaped past Desert and ran along the far side of the chamber, desperately trying to get as much distance as it could from the zebra ‘Soldier’.

“Ha! Looks like this thing came in handy after all.” Hoof called out with a grin, keeping the weapon and flashlight trained on the terrified creature. “Desert, grab our stuff while I have him distracted.”

For the very first time since I’ve been forced to travel when them, I saw Blossom mad! I’ve seen her afraid, sad, happy, panicked, and oddly detached on several occasions, but never angry like this.

The furious pegasus mare stomped over to Second. “You do not get to bully her just because she’s different!” Then in one swift motion she struck his horn with her hoof.

Hoof winced in pain as the magic around the gun and flashlight imploded. Desert caught the gun in her mouth, but the flashlight clattered to the ground and rolled to face the pile of stolen goods. Glaring daggers at the unicorn, she marched around to his side and deposited the gun back into the saddle bag.

“Now go to the far side of the room and stop scaring the poor filly.” Blossom said sternly to Hoof before trotting over to the cowering shadow pony.

Hoof sputtered in disbelief for a few moments before apparently finding his words. “Why are you on his side? He stole from us, remember?! And what makes you think that thing is a filly?”

Zebra trotted beside Second and spoke to him in a low tone. “It appears that Desert has made herself the creature’s protectorate. I think it would be best if you did as she asked for now.”

Hoof huffed indignantly as he walked over to the far wall and sat down. I guess he was trying to look annoyed and outraged, but it came off more like he was sulking.

“There there, the meanie pony isn’t going to hurt you.” Blossom cooed as she stroked the shadow pony’s short mane. As her hoof passed across it, the mane reacted like a dense black smoke, swirling out and then rejoining the rest of the shadow. Despite how weird the action looked, the shadow pony seemed to be enjoying the affection, closing its green eyes happily.

“Hey, Second.” Blossom called out, her normal positive attitude having returned. “Can we…”

Weird. After all that sudden display of independence, she’s still asking for his approval.

“Don’t mind him.” Blossom addressed the shadow. “He’s just cranky that his silly robot is in your treasure pile.” She then glanced over at the pile, sill lit by the fallen flashlight, and her ears perked up.

“That’s it!” Blossom said as she walked closer to the pile, the shadow following close behind. “Everything she took was shiny, and she put it under that hole so the light will hit it. It must get gloomy in this cave and she wanted to make it prettier.”

“That does fit all the facts on hoof…” Zebra said, sounding a little impressed. “But where does that leave us?”

The yellow Pegasus thought for a moment. “Well, if we had something even shinier to pretty up this place, maybe we could trade it for our stuff.” Desert then paced around the pile and looked around the chamber, the shadow pony following her like… well a shadow. “I have an idea, but need something that spins or maybe stuff that wiggles…”

Colourful reached a hoof into his saddle bag and pulled out a small beat up blue pegasus toy. Even with its trademark mane and tail missing, there was no mistaking the Rainbow Dash action figure. “Would this do?” He asked as he pressed the figure’s cutie mark with his other hoof, causing the wings to start flapping spastically. “I picked it up as a gift for a young friend of mine, but I think she’ll understand if I let you have it.”

Desert stared wide eyed at the figure as it flapped its little wings. I can’t even imagine what’s going through her head right now. This must be the first time she’s ever seen another pegasus, even if it’s in toy form. A visual conformation of what Second has told her, that there are others like her and she’s not just a one off mutant.

“It’s perfect.” The mare replied in a faraway voice. She then shook her head and refocused. “I’ll also need from Second’s bag a small cloth, some wire, and the rest of our bottle caps.” She then walked up to the fallen flashlight. “Oh, and this too!”

Blossom suddenly lifted a fore-hoof up and slammed it down across the flashlight, snapping it in half and plunging the cavern into darkness except for the glow of her pip buck.

“She does this now and then.” Hoof said calmly in the dark to a most likely befuddled Zebra.

~~~***~~~

As Blossom worked away at her project, Colourful sat beside Second along the far wall. The unicorn’s horn glowed with its blue-grey magic, just to give them a little illumination. Zebra’s coat and mane has stayed a neutral brownish grey this whole time, aside for the initial shock of first seeing the shadow pony, making him look almost like an average zebra. I guess he’s over the unnerving experience of nearly dying twice and has his emotions are under his full control. It’s a little frustrating though, since I was just getting a handle on what each colour meant and now he’s hard to read.

“So.” Hoof spoke up, breaking the silence and gesturing towards the shadow pony watching Blossom intently. “What do you suppose his story is?”

“It’s a toyol.” The zebra said confidently. “The reanimated spirit of a foal that was summoned by a powerful dark magic user. They’re usually used to steal things for their master, due to their attraction to anything shiny. This one appears to have escaped from its master and is hiding out in this cave.”

“Ah.” Hoof said, sounding impressed. “I don’t suppose you also know what that bear thing was that attacked you in the city?”

“It was a bugbear, a savage creature from a distant land. They can travel great distances on their six mighty legs, but normally they don’t come out this far. It may have been on a…”

“Well I did get a good look as it chased me across Camelton. It had four legs.”

“Well then, it must have been Ursa Bator.” Colourful continued without missing a beat. “The spirit of a great pony warrior, trapped in the twisted body of a bear, forever cursed to search out her long lost sister.”

“One hundred percent whole cloth!” Colourful admitted proudly. “You would be surprised how many pony folk just believe whatever mystical mumbo jumbo a zebra tells them. Like we all have some mysterious connection to all things unknown.”

“Well, you’re supposed to learn all of that from your ancient martial arts master.” Hoof said with a grin.

“Ha! No wonder I missed it.” Zebra laughed. “Glad to see you’re finally getting the picture.”

Hoof sighed and lowered his head. “Yeah. It wasn’t fair of me to think less of Rock just because she completely not what I expected.”

Good question. You met her by chance in the middle of the desert, what expectations could you have had? Seeing Hoof all scuffed up like this almost made me forget how out of place he seemed at first. Now that I think about it, it’s quite the stroke of luck that a high end tech merchant would be so far from established trade routes and just happen to come across Blossom when she needed his help…

“I just thought she would be more…” Hoof started absently, but any answers he was going to let slip was cut short.

“Yes! It’s finished!” Desert crowed. “It was trickier than I thought it would be at first, but once I just pictured the paths of light as a network it all fit together."

The weird cobbled together object looked to be the combined work of a mad scientist and a campy fashion designer. Each leg of the Rainbow Dash toy had one of the flashlight’s small spark battery strapped to it. They all were connected by wires to the former flashlight’s switch, now stuck above the cloud and lightning bolt cutie mark. The switch then led to the magical light emitter crystal Desert mounted on top of Dash’s hind quarters. The crystal in turn faced the shards of the flashlight’s lens embedded in the toy’s back between its wings. The wings themselves were covered with flattened bottle caps, polished to almost a mirror shine.

“Watch this…” Blossom announced, setting her creation down as the unicorn and pegasus stood beside her. She pressed the flashlight switch and the magic crystal slowly started to glow, it then shone a beam of light between the wings.

Blossom then pressed the toy’s cutie mark button, and the toy’s wings suddenly fell limp at its sides.

“What?” Cried Desert, turning off the light and examining the toy. “It should have worked!”

“Let me take a look at.” Hoof said, as he lifted the jerry-rigged toy up in his magic.

The shadow creature must have only now noticed that Hoof was so close, it was so focused on Blossom before, and it took a timid step back.

“Don’t worry.” Hoof said to the shadow pony. “I left ‘Soldier’ in my saddle bag over there.” The unicorn then added as he focused on the toy “I apologise for frightening you before, it wasn’t the right thing to do.”

“Ah, that’s the problem.” Hoof said as his ears perked up. “The factory settings of the magic servos couldn’t handle the extra weight on the wings. I’ve re-calibrated them and it should work now.”

The unicorn floated the toy back to the ground and stepped back so Desert could have the honors of activating her creation.

Desert turned the light on again and then nervously pressed the cutie mark button.

The toy’s wings slowly moved up and down, gradually increasing their speed. As the light refracted through the broken lens, it split into all the colours of the rainbow and were bounced off the now rapidly moving shiny wings. In an instant the cave was covered in flickering and dancing dots of coloured lights.

The little shadow pony’s green eyes went wide with wonderment. It even tried to chase down one of the flickering light beams, before losing it among all the others.

“Awww yeah! Who’s awesome? You’re awesome!” the blue pegasus toy suddenly announced.

“I fixed the voice spell matrix in it too.” Hoof said with a grin to the surprised mare, zebra, and shadow.

Blossom then turned towards the shadow pony. “So, do you think that this is shinny enough to trade for our stuff back?”

The shadow leaped up and ran to its pile of pilfered possessions. The shadow ran back and forth over the pile, and with each pass more of it disappeared until there was nothing left. It then galloped back to Blossom and circled the pegasus, the items reappearing around her feet.

“Well, it looks like we have a deal.” Desert said with a laugh, looking at the mound of stuff now surrounding her. “Rainbow Flash is now all yours.”

The little shadow pony jumped up and down happily and then gave Blossom a big wispy hug. It then ran over and hugged Second, causing the unicorn’s mane to stand on end from the creature’s sudden vaporous affection. It even hugged Zebra, even though he didn’t really have any part in the trade, I guess just so he wouldn’t feel left out.

It then ran over 'Rainbow Flash', causing the toy to disappear, and galloping off into the darkness of one of the cave’s side tunnels.

“Now just remember to turn it off during the day!” Hoof called after the shadow. “Those batteries will last for years, but not if you keep them running all the time.”

“Speaking about the day…” Zebra said walking over to the two ponies, “it’s going to be morning soon and we’ve only got a few hours of sleep…”

“So I suggest that we rest here while we can before heading off.” Colourful continued. “If our shadowy friend calls this cave home, then it should be safe enough for us to stay in ‘till dawn”

“Sounds like a good idea.” Hoof agreed and then walked over to the circle of items surrounding Blossom. “But first, let’s retrieve our possessions.”

“Hey, I think some of this stuff wasn’t even ours.” The yellow mare said as she looked around.

It’s an old griffin saying, and you really don’t want to know the etymology behind it…

~~~***~~~

Late in the afternoon we finally reached the town of Appleloosa. It was a fair sized place made up of a few dozen prewar buildings, and aside for the usual decay and neglect it was in pretty good shape. I guess that it wasn’t exactly a high profile zebra target during the war.

“Ah, finally some kind of civilization.” Hoof sighed as he walked along the main street. “First order of business is to find a trader so we can do business.”

“Actually, I suggest your first stop should be a visit to Lavender Rain the launderer.” Zebra recommended. “Her shop is just down the road from here, and she has a real knack for removing stains and…odours.” He added pointedly.

“Ah, good idea.” Hoof admitted a little embarrassed. Yeah, you might not want to walk around town with your saddle bags smelling like a sewer. That smell better not stick to the gun I’m stuck to!

Zebra then turned to Desert. “Lavender also does repairs. I gather that you would be more comfortable if you could properly wear your jumpsuit again.”

“Oh yes!” The mare agreed, her eyes lighting up but then becoming nervous. “But… I don’t want anypony to see me without it…” She doesn’t want anypony to see her wings is what she clearly meant.

“Well then I shall spirit you away to my place of business, far from any judging eyes, while mister Hoof has your garment repaired.” Colourful declared theatrically with a bow to the pegasus.

“Well… um…EEP!” Blossom started to hesitate when Hoof suddenly made the decision for her by levitating the remains of the jumpsuit off her back.

“I’ll get this sorted out as quick as I can.” Second said with a smile to Desert, who was now trying to hide behind the zebra. “Go on ahead with Colourful.”

“My place is on the west end of town, you can’t miss it since it has my name in large letters above it.” Colourful instructed Hoof. “Well, what’s left of my name after a heavily armed scribe took a rocket launcher to the sign.”

“Nope, she had a problem with the grammar. Insisted that there was only one ‘u’ in Colourful.” The zebra shook his head. “I think she took it as a personal offence that I refused to change how my name is spelled.” He then looked around. “Where’s Desert?”

“She took off down a side alley as soon as you mentioned the direction of your shop.” Hoof said with a small laugh. “You might want to catch up with her before she gets into any trouble.”

As Zebra galloped off to catch up with the errant Blossom, Second trotted towards the Laundromat.

~~~***~~~

True to her reputation, Lavender Rain was able to flawlessly stitch back together Blossom’s Stable jumpsuit with the wave of her horn. On Hoof’s suggestion, she even added two flaps disguised as large pockets to the sides. These pocket flaps would not only help to hide Desert’s wings, and allow her to carry more, but would also let her stretch her wings out when she wanted.

That was a pretty considerate thing for Second to do for Desert. Maybe Colourful’s words really did get through to him.

Second’s odoriferous apparel on the other hoof had the laundry mare stymied. She tried every variation of her deodorizing spell on it without much success. In the end she had to admit defeat and used her magic to cobble together other fabrics into a duplicate of the trader’s outfit. She gave this replacement to Hoof at no charge under the condition that the original was buried in a VERY deep hole in the middle of nowhere and her failure would never be spoken of again.

The next stop was at the general store. As a professional trader, being forced to watch Hoof amateurish attempts to haggle for more caps for his surplus medical supplies was just too painful for me! He must be used to dealing with rich ponies that have so many caps that they don’t even bother to negotiate. At least he had the sense to keep all the healing potions and rad-away.

Oh! I almost forgot that Blossom still needs to take some rad-away! Last time I checked her magical radiation meter was nearly at yellow. At those levels she still has some time before she gets too sick, but somepony really needs to take notice before it’s too late.

If I still had a face and a hoof, I would have brought them together so much when I saw Second buying up small amounts ammo for every one of his guns. Sell all but two of the guns and then stock up on ammo for those you idiot!

Finally we reached Colourful Zebra’s place, and true to his description there was a giant hole blasted in the sign. Only the first couple and final few letters of his name were still visible.

Hoof stepped through the front door and into a clean and well-furnished reception area. A young female donkey in a pretty business dress greeted him cheerfully.

“Hello, and welcome to Colourful Zebra’s. Are you interested in a unicorn or earth pony? Male or female?”

“Oh, if you’re here to go on contract with us, I’m afraid that our current stock is at capacity.” The donkey apologized with a small pout. She sure was cute. If I was 30 years younger, and not dead… No! Now’s really not the time to get distracted. “But if you leave your name, a way to contact you, and any special talents, we will…”

“That won’t be necessary Fawn.” Zebra interrupted with a smile as he came out of a back door. “He’s a guest of mine, just stopping by.”

“Would you be so kind and help our other guest with their paper work?” Zebra suggested to the donkey.

“Right away Mr. Colourful.” Fawn said courteously and headed out of the room through the same door Zebra came in by. Her slender tail swaying happily was the last glimpse of her that I saw before the door closed and blocked my perception.

I would make a ‘fine ass’ pun, but it would be too disrespectful to the young lady.

“Just what kind of business are you running here?” Hoof asked zebra once they were alone. He then lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “It’s not some kind of… brothel is it?”

“Goodness no!” Zebra said indignantly. “I would never sully my reputation by running a house of ill repute.”

Hey! One of the best jobs I ever had in Dise was working in a brothel. Although, I didn’t last too long there, and that ended up getting me fired. But in my defence, I was rather young and just over eager to please!

It must have taken a moment for Hoof mind to fully register what was just said, since he just nodded agreeably. Then everything must have clicked in place.

Zebra sighed and shook his head. “An unflattering nick name that others use based on the remains of my vandalized sign. I’ve never cared much for it.”

“But you said you didn’t know any Cobra when I asked.” Hoof said defensively.

“I said that I don’t know any pony with that name.” The zebra corrected. “An understandably cautious omission, considering that we just met and I didn’t know what kind of ponies you were.”

Arguing semantics is fun and all, but isn’t there something more important that your forgetting about Hoof?

Hoof’s eyes went wide suddenly, and in an instant he had his shotgun levitated out and pointing at Colourful. “Where’s Desert?!”

“Sheesh, I’m right here Second.” The pegasus said from the doorway. She was accompanied by the attractive donkey and a teenage unicorn filly. “Sorry about taking so long, but you’ll never guess what I just got!”

The young light blue unicorn mare, with a silvery mane and cold blue eyes, stepped forwards and energetically introduced herself.

Author note:
With the introduction of Colt, the story is now really getting started! She's a great character and I can't wait to write more of her. Don't forget that you can ask her any question through the Tumblr! Also, obvious fan boy reference is, I hope, obvious... :D

Huge thanks to all my editors!
My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer.
My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free!
My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)!

Fallout Equestria: Souls

by JustMoth

Act 1 - Part 5: No One's Home